Chapter 19
T
ony had been jolted to consciousness several minutes ago and now had to grit his teeth to keep from groaning. Linda drove slowly over a road full of potholes—moon craters were more like it—and despite the obvious care she took not to go too fast and to maneuver around the biggest dips, every rocking movement of the car caused pain to zing through him, refusing to let him pass out again. Instead of telling her he was awake, however, Tony kept his eyes shut and his head in the crook of his arm. When Linda finally brought the car to a halt, set the emergency brake and turned the engine off, he still didn’t open his eyes.
Couldn’t open his eyes.
The shooting spears of pain up his back and his leg was a type of pain he was used to. But the ache in his head, in his joints, in the very marrow of his bones? It was the same pain he’d been in in the hospital after Guapo had been killed. A pain he’d hoped never to experience again. The pain of infection.
Just like it had in the hospital, his blood boiled beneath the surface of his skin, through all arteries and veins, heating him up from the inside out. At some point during their trip he remembered Linda stopping at a pharmacy to pick up antibiotics and codeine. Codeine he wasn’t going to take.
The pain was enough to deal with right now. He couldn’t risk being doped up, too.
Linda’s life had been threatened again. Plus, he’d missed his appointment with the Rapture supplier. If the meeting had been a scam, one meant to ensure he wasn’t around when Linda was attacked, then he needed every clearheaded advantage he could get. And if the meeting had been legit, well, he’d have to come up with a damn good excuse for standing the supplier up in hopes of convincing him to give him another chance.
First, however, he needed to figure out where Linda had taken him.
Some out-of-the-way hotel? Given the condition of the road they’d just traveled, Tony wasn’t too keen on seeing what the hotel looked like.
“Tony?” Linda whispered his name from the driver’s seat.
He couldn’t fake unconsciousness any longer. Couldn’t stay in the car forever. He forced his eyes open, the mere action of lifting his lids causing another blast of pain.
Oh, God.
“We’re here,” she said, her voice still soft.
This time he looked at her, and another ache swarmed through his heart. The concern in her eyes, the deep wrinkles in her forehead, the way she held her body tight and curved in, as if scared for him, made him want to erase his very existence from her life.
He could handle the pain of his injuries and the infection, but he couldn’t handle the pain of knowing he was hurting her. Again.
He pulled his gaze off hers and slowly, slowly straightened until he could see out the car window. To his surprise he saw not a hotel but towering pines, filtered moonlight and a faded log cabin. The faint murmur of running water came through the window, which was open a crack. “Where are we?” he asked.
“Just outside Grass Valley,” Linda answered, her voice tight.
“Why?”
“My family used to vacation here and now I own the property. Someone could probably track down that fact eventually, but I figure I’ve bought us a few days, at least.”
“A few days for what?” He clenched his teeth to keep in his groan. The pain brought by speaking undulated like waves through his body. Still, his mind imagined spending a few days in paradise with Linda with nothing but time to hold one another and talk. Too bad he couldn’t talk about anything that was the truth. Faced with that knowledge and what would be her inevitable questions, all he wanted was to slide back into oblivion.
“We need to get you inside,” Linda said. “Can you walk?”
Sure. All he had to do was make his way into her house, then he could find a bed to collapse on. No biggie.
But when he tried to stand, his body betrayed him. The world spun and he closed his eyes. She’d better hurry, or he’d pass out again.
She quickly unclicked her seat belt and came around to his side of the car. “I’m opening your door, Tony. Don’t fall out.”
It took five minutes, but between Linda’s arm around his waist, the flashlight she carried in her other hand to illuminate their path and her murmured words of encouragement, he made it inside the log cabin and onto the bed in some dark back bedroom. There he lay, shaking and sweating profusely.
“Thanks. I’m gonna sleep.”
“Only for an hour. I have to wake you up every hour and ask you questions, just like the doctor said. I can also give you some codeine to make you more comfortable. But first...you’re soaking, Tony. We need to get your clothes off.”
Now weren’t those wonderful words to hear? His mind immediately filled with visions of their entwined bodies. Had it been just yesterday that he’d had her? Been loved by her, at least physically? But he knew she viewed him asexually right now. Probably like a child. The thought made his voice harsher than he’d intended. “Leave me alone, Linda,” he bit out.
Her expression pinched with hurt and he forced himself to look away.
He needed to be alone.
In the dark.
Fighting off the pain.
He needed her to leave. He didn’t deserve her. He was flawed. Had made too many mistakes.
He should leave right now. But he couldn’t.
He was suddenly freezing.
Why was he so cold?
Why was Linda’s voice so far away?
Why was the world spinning, even though his eyes were closed?
And why, oh, why, couldn’t he stop himself from reaching out for her?
* * *
Seeing Tony turn and reach for her, as if he couldn’t help himself, nearly brought tears to Linda’s eyes.
Linda swallowed hard, then pulled off his clothes, even his underwear. She did it to make him comfortable and make sure he got better, but part of her couldn’t help but react to his nakedness. She’d felt him inside her when they’d made love. Seen more of his naked body when they’d been at his house on Tortuga. But now he was completely and totally naked, unable to hide from her devouring eyes. She took in the familiar things about his body and the things that had changed.
There was the mole, just above his right nipple, that she loved to kiss.
He was more heavily padded with muscle. The ridges of his abdomen more defined. And below that...
Even soft, Tony was impressive. And familiar. So familiar.
She felt the warmth of arousal but more than that, she felt a pang of deep affection for this man. She wanted to cradle him and tell him everything was going to be okay. But she couldn’t know that.
Gently she washed him down with a cool wet cloth. Afterward she took his temperature and did it again every half hour just as her friend Pam had instructed. His temperature hovered between 100 and 102, which was better than the 104 it had been at the hospital.
But she’d continue to keep vigil over him to make sure he didn’t relapse.
The evening transformed into dawn and Tony’s fever continued to rage on, causing him to occasionally thrash on the bed. At one point he became so restless that she left the wicker rocking chair to sit on the side of the double bed.
She smoothed her palm over his face and he quieted. As he slept, she let her mind wander to the past. Not their past together, but her past before she’d ever met him.
This had been her parents’ room when she was young—she and Kathy had shared the room up on the second story, the one tucked in the eaves, where she’d read books and dreamed through her summer days. That is, until the neighbor boys had noticed her and had taken her under their wing. She’d quickly learned how to ditch a sleeping Kathy by clambering out the window onto the broad-sloped roof and grabbing hold of the oak branch close by, then swinging herself down to the ground.
She’d been twelve the first time she’d snuck out of the house. Fifteen the last time.
The white cotton sheet she’d covered Tony with after removing his sweat-drenched clothes was now tangled between his thighs. She moved to pull the covering up, over his chest, and he shifted.
“God, it hurts,” Tony moaned.
Of course he hurt. He’d been beaten by Guapo and then Larry Moser when he’d stuck up for that kid in lockup. Then he’d had the wind knocked out of him when he’d saved her from the drive-by shooting, been attacked at her house and was now feeling the effects of a raging infection. How much pain could one man stand?
“I’m sorry,” she murmured, holding his hand in hers. “I know it hurts. I wish I could take your pain away. But you’re strong, Tony. You’ll get through this.” Then she remembered the codeine she’d picked up. Since Pam had administered the first dose at the hospital, Tony wasn’t due more antibiotics yet, but she could give him some codeine for the pain. “Let me get your pills, Tony.”
He shook his head almost frantically. “Don’t go. God, Linda, don’t go. I don’t need pills. I never did. All I need is you.”
A tight knot formed in her belly and pressed upward, under her ribs. He was delirious. Didn’t know what he was saying. But yet she knew he was finally speaking the truth to her. At least the truth as he believed it to be at the moment.
He didn’t want her to leave him. And that was a really good thing.
Because she wasn’t going anywhere.
Her hands shook as she stroked his face with light fingertips. “I won’t go, Tony,” she whispered. “I’m here. Right here.”
Tony moaned, and settled. Linda waited, stroking his head as if reassuring a small child. One more shift in position, then his breathing grew slow and steady. His facial muscles relaxed as he finally fell into a deep sleep. The knot pressing against her heart untied itself.
It was nearly noon when Linda began to feel faint from hunger. After visiting Tony at his house on Tortuga Boulevard, she’d been too upset to eat. And eating had certainly been the last thing on her mind while nursing Tony. Now, however, she needed to take advantage of the fact Tony was sleeping peacefully.
Going to the kitchen, she scrounged in the pantry for something to eat. Instant noodles or pasta with marinara sauce seemed one of the few options. Not exactly what she preferred to eat for breakfast, but she’d have to make do. She put a pot of water on to boil, and then grabbed her gym bag out of the trunk of her car. The clothes in it were old and stale from the last time she’d worked out, but they’d have to do. She hadn’t exactly taken time to pack after Tony had warned her a dirty cop was trying to hurt her.
Quickly she showered, threw her dirty clothes into the washer, then went into the kitchen to prepare a meal of rigatoni and marina sauce, with canned marinated artichoke hearts on the side. As she ate, she played the messages that had built up on her cell phone over the morning, taking notes with a pen filled with fake gold flakes—
Welcome to the Gold Country!
—on a pad of yellowed paper she found in one of the kitchen drawers.
Her boss, District Attorney Norman Peterson, had called twice. A deputy from the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department had called. And Neil had called five times.
Lord, what was she going to tell them? Court had already begun and her secretary had likely already scrambled to find another attorney to sub for her. A flood of guilt filled her for her irresponsibility.
Oh, give yourself a break, Linda.
She’d almost been gunned down yesterday. Seemed like a good excuse to take some time off.
She called Norm and left a message on his work phone, letting him know she needed some down time before returning to work. Then she returned Neil’s calls.
He answered on the second ring. “Linda. Where the hell have you been?”
Was that concern or censure she heard in his tone? “I just got your messages, Neil. I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier. Something important came up.”
“Something more important than getting shot at or your cases that are set for hearing this morning? Damn it, I thought you were dead. That whoever it was that shot at you had tried again.”
Okay, so that was definitely both concern and censure she was hearing. She bit her lip and mentally formulated her words before speaking again. She didn’t want Neil to know that she’d gone to see Tony, let alone that they were together. She was treading a thin line between professional standards and reckless behavior, yes, but no matter what Tony had done, no matter what he’d become, he was helpless to defend himself right now. Bottom line, he’d saved her and she was returning the favor.
“Neil,” she said, “that shooting affected me more than I expected. I’m still shaky, and I need to take some time away. I’ve called and left Norm a message and I’m sure he’ll understand.”
Neil chuffed out a breath. “I’m sure he’ll understand, but I’m not sure
I
do. When you didn’t return my messages, I went by your place. One of your neighbors told me she saw two men scuffling in your yard, and that you’d hit them with a Taser. Yet you didn’t file a report with the police and you certainly haven’t said anything at all about that.”
Damn. She’d thought no one had seen what had happened.
But nearsighted neighbors aside, there was something else causing her concern. Since when did Neil talk to her in that superior, condescending way? Her first instinct was to call him on his domineering behavior, but since she didn’t want to arouse his suspicions any more than she had and because she wanted to get back to Tony... “Was it Mrs. Whitlock?” she asked with a little laugh. “The little old lady in the house to the right of my place? The one with all the wooden ducks?”
“One and the same.” She could almost picture Neil rubbing the back of his neck. “And I think those are geese.”
“Right. Well, Mrs. Whitlock is retired from the Post Office and has plenty of time to peer out her windows and spread gossip. She’s never used this much imagination, though.”
“So what she said about two men—”
“There
were
two men in my yard, but they weren’t scuffling”—that wasn’t quite a lie—“and I can promise you I absolutely did not Taser anybody.” Although she had come close, she thought. Given sufficient reason, she knew she wouldn’t have hesitated to hit the other man with a thousand volts of electricity to save Tony.