This time he took her stiff hand when he reached her.
“The little girl died about an hour after arrival,” he told her, his palm shockingly warm against hers.
“She’d lost too much blood.”
She nodded woodenly, staring at the center of his wide chest.
So the on-board transfusions hadn’t been enough.
The trip to the base had taken too long.
Her first mission back and though she’d gone right away without any delays, it hadn’t been enough.
She went over the mission in her mind, going over every detail.
Maybe she could have pushed the twin turbine engines harder and shaved a few minutes off the flight.
Would that have made the difference?
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Second guess yourself.
There was nothing they could’ve done for her, Dev, even if she’d come in sooner.”
She remembered the pale little face, and the long strands of dark hair whipping in the rotor wash when they carried her away from the Hawk on the stretcher.
“And the boy?” she managed.
“Made it through his surgery.
He’s still stable and all his vitals are good.
He’ll be okay.”
Yeah.
He’d be okay, but he’d return home without his little sister.
She closed her eyes and shook her head, erasing the picture of the morgue where she’d sat with Ty’s remains.
Such a waste.
Another young, innocent life taken by her own people, and for what?
“Come on,” Cam murmured, tugging on her hand.
“I’m done for now.
Let’s get out of here.”
Gripping his fingers tight, she followed, but stopped when she saw the children’s grandfather in the waiting room.
All alone, head bent so his chin rested on his sunken chest, his worn, frayed wool hat held between his gnarled hands.
She didn’t know what to say to him, but felt she had to say something.
“Do you speak Pashto?” she asked Cam.
“A bit.
Why, you want to say something to him?”
“Yes.”
He searched her eyes for a moment as though judging whether or not she was up to it.
“Hang on, I’ll get someone.”
A minute later he returned with a young Afghan man.
“This is Saiid.
He’ll translate for you.”
Devon wiped her hands on her pants and followed the man into the waiting room.
The grandfather looked up at them, his dark eyes time-worn and weary in his weathered face.
Full of sorrows she couldn’t even begin to comprehend.
The instant he focused on her, he stiffened.
He looked so shocked that she stopped, his wide-eyed gaze making her uneasy.
She hesitated inside the doorway.
Did he find her presence offensive because she was a woman?
He stared at her like she was a ghost.
Almost like he recognized her, but that was impossible.
Even if he’d seen her through the rotor wash in the cockpit earlier, there was no way he could have seen her face through the visor.
Still, the look on his face was unnerving.
Saiid bowed slightly and addressed the elder.
The old man nodded, looking at her with that strangely intense expression in his eyes.
When Saiid finished and gave her an encouraging smile she cleared her throat and spoke.
“Sir, I flew the helicopter you came in on today.” The old man held her gaze steadily while Saiid translated.
Something in his expression still bothered her.
He watched her closely, as though she either fascinated or horrified him.
“I’m very sorry for your loss,” she added quietly.
That was inadequate, but what else could she say to comfort him?
She paused for a moment, uncertain, wanting to ease the terrible burden of loss he must be suffering.
“Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.” She hoped he wasn’t offended by her message.
Considering her mere presence had shocked him, the idea of an infidel praying for him might be a complete insult.
“If I can help in any way, please let me know.”
Saiid finished relaying her message and she nodded solemnly.
The old man nodded back, staring at her with unblinking black eyes.
Having done all she could, she left the room.
“Thank you,” she said to Saiid.
“Of course, Captain.”
“Did it seem odd to you that he kept staring at me like that?”
Saiid laughed.
“I don’t think it ever occurred to him that a woman would be a pilot.”
Devon wasn’t sure that was the reason.
With a tired sigh she let it go and went to find Cam.
He was leaning against the wall waiting for her when she came out.
“Okay?”
She nodded.
As okay as she was going to be for the time being.
He held out a hand and she took it gratefully, comforted by the strength and warmth of his grip.
The instant they stepped outside the smell of burning fuel hit her again.
In the distance the flames were almost out in the blackened carcass of the aircraft, but the smoke rose in a roiling black mass.
The crowd of onlookers had thinned, most people having returned to their huts or back to their posts.
Tearing her eyes away from the smoldering hull of the plane, Devon suppressed a shiver.
Cam gently rubbed her cold fingers with his as they walked toward the barracks.
She was very aware of the heavy beat of her blood in her veins, every cell attuned to him.
She needed to tell him how she felt before they lost any more time together, but she couldn’t find the courage.
But as they approached the second group of B-huts, she stopped walking.
Cam glanced down at her questioningly.
The memories of her father’s and Ty’s deaths were fresh in her mind.
Cam could make them disappear.
She battled with herself.
No way could she go into her bunk and sleep now, and if she didn’t tell Cam what was on her mind she’d never forgive herself.
She tugged on his hand and led him down a darkened alley and behind a storage building to give them some privacy.
Facing him, her heart pounded so hard she was sure he could hear it.
His face was in shadow, but she could feel his eyes on her.
Watching.
Waiting.
Because the next step was up to her.
He wasn’t going to do it for her.
And she wanted this, so badly she burned.
The urgency hummed through her veins, impossible to ignore.
“Cam…”
“Be sure, Dev,” he warned, settling his hands on her waist.
Gathering her courage, she stepped closer, close enough that her breasts almost brushed his chest and she could feel the incredible heat emanating from his body.
Before she could lose her nerve she slid her hands up his arms, following the hard swells of muscle to his shoulders and neck.
Her fingers threaded into his thick, soft hair.
In answer he bent his head and leaned into her touch, and even in the semi-darkness she saw his lids drop in pleasure.
Heat speared through her lower belly.
Her hands were unsteady as she brought them to his stubbled cheeks, stroking the strong lines of his cheekbones.
He turned his head and gently kissed her hand, his lips sinfully warm against her palm.
She saw the silent message in his eyes.
No going back if she took this step.
“I’m sure,” she whispered back, then leaned up on tiptoe to find his mouth with hers.
He angled his head and met her part way.
A gasp tore out of her at the velvety feel of his lips.
He groaned in response and moved in closer.
His amazing hands smoothed up her back before he wrapped his heavy arms around her and kissed her deeper.
She wound her fingers through his hair and opened her mouth under his.
The soft, erotic glide of his tongue against her lower lip sent a spear of heat between her thighs.
His body was warm and hard, and he held her so tight.
She lifted her head.
His eyes were almost black, and raging with need.
He was rock hard, and hot against her, even through the layers of cloth separating them.
Without thinking she pressed tight against him and found his lips again, gently stroking her tongue into his mouth.
He made a rough sound and held her face as he kissed her in return, and she lost herself in the feel and taste of him.
The heat built steadily, enveloping her in the sensual experience of being locked in his arms while he kissed her with a lingering thoroughness that weakened her knees.
She was drowning in sensation, blind to everything but the feel of his mouth and the hard press of the powerful muscles that caged her.
Oh my God…
She felt hot and dizzy.
Weak yet hungry.
Time slowed and expanded, setting her adrift.
He was gentle with her.
She knew how turned on he was by the feel of his erection prodding her, but his kisses were tender and slow.
The most seductive she’d ever experienced.
Combined with the way he cradled her, she melted in his hold and would have slid to the ground in a puddle without his arms wrapped around her.
With a quiet sigh she stroked his shoulders and the back of his neck, reveling in the way he sighed and nuzzled at her lips and jaw.
Her body trembled with the knowledge of how incredible it was going to be when they finally got each other naked.
She was thinking about sliding her hands under his shirt to feel the sculpted muscles of his chest when he released her mouth with a slow suction on her bottom lip.
Nibbling for another moment, he lifted his head.
She was breathless, staring up into his face.
The hunger was there in his eyes, unquenched and vivid, but tempered with the tenderness he’d shown her.
A slow smile spread across her face, and he answered with one of his own.
He stroked a thumb across her cheek.
“What, baby?”
The tenderness in his voice made her throat clench.
She couldn’t say it.
She was going to have to show him instead.
A jumble of emotions tumbled through her.
Tears threatened.
She squeezed her eyes shut to stem the burn in them, but her breath hitched on a half sob.
Cam tucked her face against his chest, surrounding her with his arms.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered against her temple.
“It kills me when you cry.”
She gave a tight shake of her head, fighting to get hold of herself.
“I need you.”
“You’ve got me.” His hands stroked over the length of her back.
“You’ve always had me.”
Her heart cracked wide open, a sudden rending pain that tore into her chest.
“That help?” he whispered, tracing the curve of her cheek with an index finger.
Devon wrapped her arms around his shoulders and laid her head against his chest, snuggling in tight.
“Yes,” she sighed, eating up every second of the embrace.
“I could stay like this forever.”
He kissed her temple.
“I love holding you.”
“Good.” She planned on taking advantage of that at every opportunity from now on.
Cam bent and kissed her gently again.
She looped her arms around his neck to deepen it, but he gently set her away with a wry grin.
“Much as I’d love to keep kissing you, it’s only a matter of time before someone comes this way.
And I promised to protect you.”
“Even if it’s from myself,” she teased.
“Yep.
Or from me.” He slid his arms around her for one last hug, lifting her from the ground with a deep groan.
“But Christ you feel good.”
“You too,” she whispered against his ear, nipping the lobe.
Cam jolted and set her down, giving her a playful glare as he put some space between them.
“I’ll remember that, Spike.”
“You got somewhere more important to be?” Will asked her from across the table.
Devon set down her cards and glanced up at him with a frown.
“Pardon?”
“You keep checking your watch every ten minutes, and you’re playing hell on my ego.
Am I that boring?”
Ah, jeez
.
“No, it’s not you.
Sorry.” She was distracted.
Restless and edgy waiting around for the call to go out, and because she hadn’t seen Cam or Ryan all day.
Nobody she’d asked had seen them, so they must have gone out on another mission, or were in isolation.
“And it
would
be the one time I’m beating you,” he muttered, tossing his hand onto the table and gathering up all the cards.
“I was thinking about going over to watch some football if you’re interested.”
Will snagged his coat from the back of his chair.
“Nah, but thanks.
Think I’ll spend some quality time with my e-mail account.”
Dev smiled.
“Tell your wife I said hello, and to give the girls a hug from me.” She followed him outside, and quickly tucked her hands into her pockets.
The sky was already dark, and the air was cold enough that she could see her breath as she headed over to the Exchange.
Halfway there, she ran into Candace.
“Hey,” Devon said.
“You were up early.
I didn’t even hear you come in or leave.
Were you out last night?”
“No.
Had a meeting.
Then when I got back I couldn’t sleep worth a damn.”
“Your bunk still bugging you?”
Rather than answer, Candace looked around as if to check they couldn’t be overheard.
“Not really.”
“You fixed it, then?”
“No.
Your friend Ryan did.”
Devon tucked her tongue into her cheek.
“Oh, really?”
“Oh, stop.
You know nothing happened.” A dark scowl marred her pretty face.
“He’s a bad-ass.”
“Yeah, I can see why you’d think that, but he’s really a sweetheart once you get to know him.” Once people got past his enormous ego, that is.
“That’s exactly my point, Dev.
I don’t want to get to know him, let alone
here
.
If he keeps being all palsy-walsy like that he’s going to get us written up.”
She thought about it.
“All right, I’ll talk to him.”
“No, I didn’t mean I wanted you t—” She paused and pursed her lips.
“I already made it clear I don’t want to fraternize with him.”
I bet you did
.
Devon had to work really hard not to not smile, imagining Ryan alone with Candace in the B-hut, needling her every chance he got.
“And
you
shouldn’t either.”
Probably not, but she wasn’t going to cut a friend off like that.
“So, is the uh…bunk fixed?”
“Yeah,” she said grudgingly.
“Did he test it out for you before he left?”
Candace turned shocked eyes on her.
“Christ, you’re just as bad as he is!
You need to stop hanging around with him before I stop liking you too.”
Devon laughed.
“Damn, I wish I’d been a fly on the wall for that little interlude yesterday.”
“Shut up,” she said without heat.
“I handled it just fine.”
“I don’t doubt that for a second.”
Candace blew out a breath, the puff of vapor rising into the cold air.
“Where are you going, anyway?”
“I don’t feel like going to the gym or taking a run.
I thought I’d find some football on TV or something.”
“God, you’re a piece of work.
How the hell are the rest of us supposed to compete with you around?
You’re like every man’s fantasy come to life.”
“That’s kind of a backward compliment, but I’ll take it.
But I’m not everyone’s fantasy.
I can’t cook worth a damn.” Dev grinned at her.
“Why so hostile, Ace?” she joked.
“I’m not trying to be hostile with anyone.
I just want to be taken seriously around here, and I don’t appreciate some…
people
that think it’s okay to throw military law out the window whenever it suits their libido.”
“I hear you.”
“Not criticizing you, by the way.”
“No, of course not.”
“Hey, I’m serious.” Candace poked her in the shoulder.
“You and Cam are a different matter entirely.
For one thing you’ve been friends for months, and you think he might be ‘the one’, so that’s different.”
Devon smirked.
“Thanks for your blessing.”
There was a game on the big screen TV, and though Candace made it clear she couldn’t care less about football, they sat down with a group of male officers and watched until half time.
When Devon glanced over, Candace was practically asleep in her chair, her head propped up on one fist, eyes at half-mast.
Dev nudged her knee.
“You don’t have to stay.”
Candace sat up, her face brightening, one cheek bearing red marks from where her knuckles had dug into her skin.
“Is it over?”
“No.
Another half to go yet.”
“God.” She collapsed back with a groan.
“Do you really like this stuff, or do you just tolerate it to hang with the guys?”
“Sorry to disappoint, but I really like it.
I’m a diehard Seahawks fan.”
Candace stood, stretching her arms over her head.
The move earned her several interested stares, but as always, she seemed oblivious to the attention.
Dev grinned and swatted her behind.
“Get out of here and get some sleep.”
When the game ended, she was too edgy to go back to her hut.
She accompanied Liam to the hangar instead.
“You sure you don’t mind a tag along?”
“Don’t mind at all,” he replied with a smile.
“Just checking the hydraulic system on my bird.
The Chinooks are old.
They keep the maintenance crews busy around here.”
She knew better than to ask if he was going out for the night, because he wouldn’t be able to answer her.
She thought of asking him about Cam’s whereabouts, but held off on that too.
Nearing the hangar, the sounds of hammers and wrenches clanging and banging against metal filled the air.
As she stepped inside the brightly lit building, the smells of oil and hydraulic fluid filled her nostrils.
“Have to admit, those are pretty amazing machines.” Devon stared up at the hulking Chinook.
“They’re not as pretty as the 60, but they’re my favorite bird to fly.”
They walked over, and Liam approached the closest mechanic.
“How’s she look?”
“She’s holding her own.
Want a status report?”
“I’d appreciate it.”
“Hang on.” The younger man turned his head and hollered, “Hey, Girard!”
Devon’s gaze swung to Liam, whose face went rigid at the mention of the surname.
She winced inside when Honor poked her strawberry-blonde head out the back of the cabin.
Seeing them, Honor froze.
“Hi,” Liam managed.
The awkward tension hanging thick in the air made Devon look elsewhere.
“Hi,” Honor replied.
The word was soft, laced with uncertainty.
Oh, shit.
Devon wanted no part of this, but she couldn’t make her escape without further embarrassing Liam.
“I was just checking on the old girl’s status,” he said, standing stiffly with his hands clasped behind his back.
To her credit, Honor never looked away from him.
“She’s fine.
Had a slow leak in one of the hydraulic lines, but it’s all fixed up now.”
Liam shoved his hands in the pockets of his flight suit.
“Good.
That’s good.”
“You need her now?”
“Shortly, yeah.”
“She’s ready when you are.”
“Okay.” He stared at her like she was water and he was a man dying of thirst.
Devon bit the inside of her lip and was about to make some excuse to leave when Honor spoke.
“We’re all done here.” She wiped her hands on a rag and bent to gather some tools.
“Let’s go, boys,” she called, and her crew followed suit.
She hopped down from the belly of the Chinook and spared a smile at Devon before nodding politely to Liam.
“Have a safe flight, Major.”
“Thanks.” He followed her progress with haunted eyes as she walked away.
Devon cleared her throat, bringing his attention back to her, and the raw pain in his eyes shocked her.
“Do you want me to, uh…” She gestured toward Honor’s retreating back.
“No, it’s fine.” He checked his watch.
“I’ve got some stuff to get done before the briefing.
See you later.”
“Sure.” After he left she let out the breath she’d been holding.
Well, that had been fun.
Certainly put things in perspective for her.
She might well end up in Liam’s position if things didn’t work out with Cam.
Wandering around, her gaze landed on a lone Black Hawk over at the end of the hangar.
She walked over, taking in its sleek lines as the crew worked on the main rotor.
Beautiful machine.
Like a black panther coiled and ready to run.
Staring at the fuselage, a niggling unease took root.
Mostly she’d avoided examining this fear too closely since coming back, but all of a sudden she couldn’t shake off the doubt.
Oh, perfect, just what I need.
Only thing that could cap this night off is—
“Hey.
Glad I caught you,” said a low, sexy voice.
She whipped around.
Cam stood at the hangar entrance in his combat uniform, that heart-melting crooked smile on his face.
She couldn’t move as he strode toward her, tall and strong and looking so damn heroic he broke her heart without even trying.
Her throat tightened.
He came up beside her.
Along with the uniform, the absence of the delectable scents of soap and cologne she associated with him confirmed he was about to embark on a mission.
“One of the guys at the Exchange told me you left with Liam.
I just missed you by a few minutes.”
Being this close to him made her system go haywire, her body remembering with vivid clarity the things they’d done the night before.
She licked her lips, staying the impulse to look around and make sure no one was staring at them.
At this point, she didn’t much care.
“I thought you were out somewhere.”
“No.
Isolation starts in twenty-five minutes.”
And sometime after that if the intelligence and weather reports held up, the mission he’d been prepping for would get the green light.
He glanced over at the Hawk.
“What are you looking for?”
“Nothing.
I was just thinking.”
His vivid blue eyes assessed her knowingly.
“About what?”
She shifted her stance and looked away.
“The usual.”
“We need to talk about it, Dev.
We should have had this conversation a long time ago.”
She didn’t even know where to start.
How much did he know?
Cam was silent a moment, watching her.
“You made the right call that night.
Deep down you know that, don’t you?”
An ache settled in her throat.
She clenched her fingers together and twisted them.
“You had the responsibility of safeguarding your crew and your helo first.
Their safety was paramount to anything else, and the weather was the shits that night.
I remember how bad it was because I could hear the wind howling outside my hut when I was trying to get to sleep.”
She almost choked on the lump in her throat.
“He might have lived if I’d gone.”
Cam’s gaze never wavered from her face.
His body heat curled around her like an inviting blanket.
“You might have crashed on the way out there, too, and you knew it.
That’s why you made the call not to go, and every other sane pilot would have done the same.”
“Not Liam, or any one of the pilots that fly you guys.” Any of the Night Stalkers would have gone.
Why hadn’t command sent one of them instead of her?
“You’re not being fair to yourself, Dev.
You can’t even compare your training to theirs.” He paused a moment.
“Look, it’s bizarre Ty was even in that village, since he was stationed at K2 up in Uzbekistan.
It’s weirder yet that you got the medevac call.
It should have been a CSAR mission right from word go.”