Deadly Medicine (38 page)

Ward stared, speechless. Jess had gone from being an addict to breaking the law, abusing her medical license, and perhaps even jeopardizing Ward’s career as well.

Jess closed her eyes, leaning back into the pillow. Apparently, she didn’t have anything else to say. Ward did, though.

“So what did you do?” She could see that Jess was tired, and emotional, but she’d waited almost seven months to hear this story and wasn’t going to let Jess off the hook that easily.

“The typical doctor shopping. I was careful not to see anyone from work, because I didn’t want anyone to talk, but I saw my dentist for a toothache, a neurologist for migraines, my gynecologist for menstrual cramps, and the spinal specialist for low-back pain.”

“What about me? Did you write me any more prescriptions?”

Jess looked into her eyes, and Ward knew her answer was honest. “No. That was too risky. If you’d gotten a call from the pharmacy or an insurance statement, it would have been a disaster.”

“Oh, this is a disaster all right. But I can’t believe all those guys just gave you narcotics.”

Ward remembered Jess’s sudden increase in medical issues a couple of years back. She hadn’t suspected a thing.

“At first, yeah. But when I sensed they were becoming uncomfortable, I backed off. And I talked to Malcolm. He hooked me up.”

“Malcolm Washington?” Ward was incredulous. Malcolm was a frequent-flyer in the ER, seen on a regular basis for pain related to sickle-cell anemia.

“Wow. That’s pretty pathetic, Jess.” Ward couldn’t imagine such a state of desperation that would cause Jess to turn to a patient to help her buy drugs illegally.

Jess shrugged. “In some ways, it was easier. I could just stop pretending. I didn’t have to sit in doctors’ offices sweating it out, waiting to see if they were going to give me what I needed. I just gave Malcolm money and a prescription for extra narcotics, and he’d deliver them right to the ER. No hassles.”

“How much did this cost you?”

“Oh, about three-fifty a week.”

“Holy shit, Jess.” She leaned back in her chair and studied the woman she’d loved for so long. How could you love someone, and live with them, and be so clueless? Was it some flaw in her, or was Jess just really that good at deception?

“Yeah,” Jess said.

Ward wanted to ask what went wrong, but it had been wrong from the start. Jess had probably tried to keep up the charade for a while, but that was all their relationship was at that point, because she wasn’t capable of anything more. And then she grew tired and just didn’t have the strength to pretend any more, and that’s when she’d cast Ward aside. At least that’s what Ward was surmising. She wasn’t sure how Jess would articulate it if she asked, and as she sat there, she realized she really didn’t care. She knew now what was wrong, and that knowledge somehow erased some of the pain of having been cast aside by her lover for no reason at all. Jess had been right all along. She was the problem in their relationship, not Ward.

“Did you ever try rehab?” Ward asked.

Jess shook her head in vigorous denial. “What if I lose my license?”

“What if you lose your life?”

“I can’t do it, Ward.”

“What about out-patient therapy? Methadone or buprenorphine treatment?”

“I’d have to report it to the state.”

“So, let me see if I understand this.” She leaned forward and held onto the railing with both hands, her bedsheet-white knuckles betraying the anger she was trying to control. “You’d risk jail by buying pills on the street, but you won’t risk getting treatment from a doctor? Can’t you just lie about the med? Pay cash so no one knows. Shit, it has to be cheaper to pay cash for doctor visits and legal drugs than the fourteen hundred a month you were spending with Malcolm.”

“I’m not doing that any more, Ward. I have a legitimate prescription, and I’m using the pills as directed.”

Ward leaned back and folded her arms across her chest. “Oh, so you think you have this beat, just because you have a source for your meds? You’re addicted to narcotics, Jess! You need to get help.”

“Can we talk about this later? I’m really beat.” Jess offered her a wan smile, and everything from her sagging shoulders to the tears in her eyes told Ward she really had had enough.

She stared off into the distance, thinking how typical this was of Jess. This Jess, anyway. She didn’t want to discuss things, or face them; she was just shutting them off. She’d dealt with her addiction—was still dealing with it—in the same manner she’d managed her relationship with Ward. Ignore it. Avoid it. Deny it.

Ward wanted to say more, to shake Jess until she understood what she was doing, how harmful it was. Her path was heading someplace bad, but Jess didn’t want to change course. The hard thing for Ward was accepting she had no power to change things, either. It was Jess’s life, and she was no longer a part of it. Instead of saying anything else, she nodded. “Sure.”

“There’s something else, though, I want to talk to you about.”

“What’s that?”

“How’d you like to come back here? To work?”

Ward hadn’t seen that one coming. Just a month ago, Jess had drained half their savings accounts and asked her to sell the house.

“Uh, I’m speechless.”

“We don’t have to rush into things, Ward. With us. This discovery has to be a shock, and maybe you don’t want to get into a relationship with someone who needs to take narcotics every day, but I want you to think about it. I love you. When you looked at me this morning, and I saw the recognition on your face, I was so scared. Because through all of this, you were the one I didn’t want to let down. I knew my parents would be disappointed in me, but I’d have dealt with that. You’re just so good, and kind, and you would have tried to help me with this.

“But I didn’t want your help. Quitting is hard, and I wasn’t ready for it then, so I pushed you away. Now, though, maybe I am. When I looked in your eyes and knew you knew I was withdrawing, I saw only love there. Concern. Compassion. Not scorn or anger, even though there could have been. You’re the kind of person I need, Ward. And if you’re willing to give it a try, so am I. Will you come back to Garden? Back to me?”

Vital Signs

Ward was whistling as she walked out of the ER in Garden nearly eight hours later. Zeke was fine, Wendy was fine, and best of all, Jess was fine, too. Or, at least, she would be. It would take some hard work to get her body through the struggles of detox, but she’d do it. And Ward had promised to help her every step of the way.

The state police had stopped by to get a statement from Jess and had talked at length to Ward as well. She gave them all the information she had—some names of patients she suspected Hawk might have murdered, the hospitals he’d worked in during his time in the mountains, and the names of the people working at those places who could help in the investigation. They’d need to talk to her again, and she might even be called to testify, but she doubted it. Everything she knew about Hawk was right there in the medical records of all the patients he’d killed in the past months. How many were there?

Ward doubted anyone would ever know. So many of his patients were elderly, and with medical issues, it would have been easy for him to push them over the edge of the cliff separating life and death. Easy, and without a single suspicion. In all likelihood, Edward Hawk was the only one who’d ever know the truth about how many people he’d killed. She was sure the state police would be looking into deaths at every hospital he’d ever worked in, and some concerned colleagues like Erin and Kathy Henderfield might help as well, but in the end, the secret was likely Hawk’s to share.

The state police officers had asked her to stick around to answer any further questions that developed, and she’d promised them she would be around for a few weeks longer, but after that, who knew? Jess’s offer of a job and a reunion would have tempted her just a few weeks earlier, but not anymore. What did she want now?

She’d always thought she knew what she wanted, where her life was going. And then she’d gotten thrown on her ass, and her whole world was turned upside down. Nothing was right. But a funny thing had happened. After the dizziness cleared, when she looked around to see where she was, she liked the place.

She liked being with Abby.

Her heart belonged to Abby.

Being in Factoryville with Abby had taught her what a real relationship was about. The give and take. The working together. The laughter. The love. Even before Jess’s injury, before the addiction that had been their downfall, their relationship had never been great. Good, yes. Satisfying, yes. Sensational? No. Inspirational? No. Easy? Never, ever.

But with Abby, everything was different. She sure as hell hoped Abby didn’t really think she was the temporary, transitional woman. She was so much more than that.

She was in love with Abby, and although she’d felt obligated to stay with Jess through her ordeal today, as soon as Wendy had come to take Zeke and Jess home, Ward had headed in the opposite direction. Back to Abby.

As soon as she started the car, she instructed it to call Abby. “Damn,” she said when Abby’s cell went to voice mail. “Hi, I’m on my way and I’m hoping you’re hungry because I didn’t eat yet and I’m starving. Call me.” A call to Abby’s office also went unanswered.

It was nearly six in the evening when Ward pulled into Abby’s driveway. The Porsche was parked in front of the open garage door, and the truck was parked inside. Abby was home.

The sun was making its way over the tops of the trees behind the house, and the deck would be bathed in a blanket of sun. She walked around the back, knowing Abby would be there, reading the paper and sorting through her mail.

“Anyone home?” she called as she approached, not wanting to startle Abby.

“I gave at the office.”

“Well, I want more,” she said as she climbed the stairs. She stopped at the top and smiled at the woman she loved. “Hello, gorgeous.”

Abby’s smile was reluctant, but she couldn’t suppress it. “What are you doing here?”

Ward was confused. “What do you mean?”

“Why aren’t you with Jess?”

“She’s fine. Discharged and recovering at home. Did you eat?”

Abby shook her hair, then pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head. She studied Ward closely. “Ward. Why. Are. You. Here?”

Ward stared back. What was Abby talking about? Of course Ward would come to Abby’s place. They’d been spending all their free time together, since that first day on the river. Then she replayed the events of the past day and understood Abby’s concern. First the call to the locum tenens company saying Hawk was in Garden. Her frantic calls to Jess. Their trip to Garden and to Frieda’s. The crazy rescue on the mountain. And then, Ward’s day spent at Jess’s bedside. Abby thought she was going back to Jess. Didn’t she know how Ward felt? Hadn’t they talked about August?

“I don’t love her anymore, Abby. I told her that today. I’ll try to help her in any way I can, and I hope you’re okay with that, because I really want to be friends with her. But not if it bothers you. Because I’m in love with you.”

“You came all the way here just to tell me that?” Abby asked, the smirk on her face so cocky Ward wanted to kiss it off.

“Well, yes. But I was also kind of hoping for dinner.”

Abby stood and reached for Ward’s hands, pulled her close. Their kiss was soft, unhurried. “I said I love you,” Ward repeated as she pulled away.

“Ah, shit. I thought I was going to get away with it.”

“With what?”

“Not answering.”

Ward tickled her, pulled her tight. “Say it! Say it, even if you don’t mean it!”

Abby giggled. “I love you, Ward.”

“Do you mean it?”

“Yes!”

Ward didn’t stop her assault with her fingers. “Say it again!”

“I still love you!” Abby giggled, then found her composure as Ward’s hands stilled. “I love you.”

“Then you should feed me.”

Abby smiled and took Ward’s hand in hers. “I have some power bars in the bedroom.”

Jaime Maddox grew up on the banks of the Susquehanna River in Northeastern Pennsylvania. As the baby in a family of many children, she was part adored and part ignored, forcing her to find creative ways to fill her time. Her childhood was idyllic, spent hiking, rafting, biking, climbing, and otherwise skinning knees and knuckles. Reading and writing became passions. Although she left home for a brief stint in the big cities of Philadelphia, PA, and Newark, NJ, as soon as she acquired the required paperwork—a medical degree and residency certificate—she came running back.

She fills her hours with a bustling medical practice, two precocious sons, a disobedient dog, and an extraordinary woman who helps her to keep it all together. In her abundant spare time, she reads, writes, twists her body into punishing yoga poses, and whacks golf balls deep into forests. She detests airplanes, snakes, and people who aren’t nice. Her loves are the foods of the world, Broadway musicals, traveling, sandy beaches, massages and pedicures, and the Philadelphia Phillies.

Deadly Medicine
by Jaime Maddox. Dr. Ward Thrasher’s life is in turmoil. Her partner Jess has left her, and her job puts her in the path of a murderous physician who has Jess in his sights. (978-1-62639-4-247)

New Beginnings
by KC Richardson. Can the connection and attraction between Jordan Roberts and Kirsten Murphy be enough for Jordan to trust Kirsten with her heart? (978-1-62639-4-506)

Officer Down
by Erin Dutton. Can two women who’ve made careers out of being there for others in crisis find the strength to need each other? (978-1-62639-4-230)

Reasonable Doubt
by Carsen Taite. Just when Sarah and Ellery think they’ve left dangerous careers behind, a new case sets them—and their hearts—on a collision course. (978-1-62639-4-421)

Tarnished Gold
by Ann Aptaker. Cantor Gold must outsmart the Law, outrun New York’s dockside gangsters, outplay a shady art dealer, his lover, and a beautiful curator, and stay out of a killer’s gun sights. (978-1-62639-4-261)