And the bitch photographer had to go.
She’d done some research, and the slut’s father was a former Chicago cop who’d raise hell if his daughter disappeared or turned up dead. That wouldn’t deter her though. She’d just have to be more cautious getting rid of her than she’d been with Summer. Resigned, she decided to watch the rest of the video. Maybe something they said or did would give her an idea. She’d get the bitch out of the picture and punish Nic at the same time. What was that expression again? Oh, right.
She’d kill two birds with one stone.
CHAPTER 15
Lauren stepped out of the shower and sighed contentedly as she wrapped herself in a huge bath towel she’d heated on the warming rack. She might never be able to afford Nic’s shower with its multiple body jets, but she could definitely treat herself to a towel warmer. In two days, she’d already become addicted to that little luxury.
She’d also learned that if she didn’t use the Frizz-Ease she’d brought along, the heat and humidity quickly turned her hair into a big humiliating fuzz-ball. After applying the product, she pulled out the hair dryer and began scrunching her curls. As she worked, her mind drifted to the wonderful day she’d spent with Nic.
Starting with shopping on Rodeo Drive, the whole day had been beyond her wildest dreams. Like when they’d driven to Santa Monica to have a late lunch. While Kaden kept watch from a distance, they’d run along the beach, splashing in the water like two teenagers. The sun, the waves, the company—everything had been perfect. She’d felt young and carefree, the world her oyster. Was Nic the pearl hidden inside? She was starting to think so.
Her skin a little dry from the heat and salt water, she opened her purse to get the tube of cream she always kept handy. Reaching inside, her fingers tangled with Todd’s dog tags. After slipping them on, she slathered herself with the cream.
With a naughty grin, she opened the box from La Perla and pulled out a sheer lace babydoll. All day she’d imagined Nic’s reaction to seeing the lavender wonder. After slipping on the top and panties, she stood in front of the newly installed mirror, twisting and turning to see herself from every angle.
The triangle cup bodice allowed a hint of nipple to show through the lace and the split front exposed her belly. The matching g-string covered the dark triangle between her legs but the skirt of the babydoll revealed more of her butt than it covered. She’d never looked so sultry or felt more sexy.
When she bent over to fluff her hair, the dog tags fell across her face. She flipped them onto her back to get them out of her way, and then straightened, draping all her hair over one shoulder. After a last check in the mirror, she took a deep breath, opened the bathroom door, and joined her lover.
Nic sat leaning against the headboard reading a script. When he saw her, he tossed it and seemed not to notice when the script landed on the floor instead of the nightstand. His gaze fixed on her and his features tightened with lust. She shivered at his hunger.
He launched himself off the bed, advancing on her like a jungle cat. He was naked, hard, and ready—his intensity intimidating. For each step he took forward, she took one back until she felt the cold wall behind her. With nowhere left to go, she lifted her chin and smiled sweetly. “Do you like my surprise?”
“Like it? Jesus, Lauren. You look good enough to eat.” He threaded his fingers through her hair and leaned down to kiss her. Her lips parted and he pressed his tongue inside, sliding it along hers, along her teeth. When he took a slow swipe across the inside of her bottom lip, she felt her world tilt. If not for Nic’s strong arms holding her up, she would have fallen.
His hands skimmed down her sides and around to the backs of her thighs. He raised her knee, anchoring it on his hip, his fingers tracing up her leg. When he groaned, his hands cupping her butt cheeks, she knew he’d discovered the g-string panties. In a swift move, he lifted her up, pushing her back against the wall.
“Wrap your legs around my waist.” His voice was husky with arousal. He thrust his hips, rubbing his cock against her core. She plunged her fingers in his silky hair and moaned as wetness soaked her panties.
He trailed soft kisses from her ear down her neck but then drew back. His face hard, he lowered her until her feet hit the floor. Why had he stopped? “What’s wrong?”
Without saying a word, he put his hand against her neck and ran a finger under the chain she wore. He tugged, twisting it until Todd’s dog tags fell forward to land in the palm of his hands. “You put them back on.”
She raised her gaze to his face. What was going on? “I always wear them.”
Sighing, he let them drop against her chest and sat on the bed. He leaned forward and held his head in his hands.
“What’s the problem?”
He looked up at her, his eyes sad. “I know you loved your husband,
chérie
. But when we’re making love, I don’t want him in the bed with us.”
Her eyes widened. “I had no idea you felt that way.”
“Would you like
me
wearing a gift from a previous girlfriend?”
She’d hate that. She could barely stand his friendship with Vivian. Kneeling in front of him, she took his hand in hers and brought it to her lips. “I’m so sorry.”
“You’re still hanging on to him. Why?” His gaze was tender, filled with concern.
She sat down on the bed beside him. “I’ll tell you, but it isn’t pretty.”
“
Chérie
, you of all people know my life is anything but pretty. Nothing you say will change how I feel about you.”
She palmed Todd’s dog tags. “The photo shoot in D.C. when I had you wear them was the only time I’ve ever taken these off, except to shower.”
“It meant a lot to me.” He placed his hand on her knee.
She let the dog tags slide through her fingers. “But I’m not wearing them for the reason you think.” He furrowed his brow, and before he could ask the obvious question, she said, “To explain this properly, I have to start at the beginning.”
He nodded. “Take your time.”
Hugging her knees to her chest, she took a deep breath. “I’d known that Todd going to Afghanistan was dangerous, but I never imagined he’d be killed. The day I opened my front door and saw two uniformed men standing there, I couldn’t believe he was dead.”
Nic ran a hand along her cheek. “It was the same when my mother died.” As he said this, she realized how little she really knew about him.
“The first week was terrible, but it wasn’t the worst. I barely remember his funeral. But when the shock wore off…” She paused as her eyes welled. “I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest, leaving all this emptiness.” Tears slid down her cheeks and she looked away, pressing her face against her knees. All the old feelings of helplessness and defeat flooded back.
“
Chérie
, I’m so sorry.” Nic raised her chin with gentle fingers. When their gazes met, she saw the sheen in his eyes. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. We don’t have to talk about this now.” When he wiped her cheeks with his thumbs, she leaned into his touch.
She smiled weakly, chest compressed, emotions raw. “No. You were right. I
need
to talk about it.”
He wrapped a stray curl around her ear. Taking his hand in hers, she pressed it tightly against her chest. “I cried nonstop until one day, I had no tears left. All that remained was sadness. Sadness for myself and Jason. Sadness for Todd’s parents. Sadness for the future Todd and I would never have together. I was sinking in quicksand, and the more I fought, the deeper I sank. I still shake just thinking about it.”
She let go of his hand and held hers out to show him the tremors. After a moment, he cupped her hands in his, and brought her fingers to his lips. She gave him a shaky smile. “Only Jason kept me from plunging into depression. I had to pull myself together for him; I was the only parent he had left.”
Nic looked away and stared at the wall. “My father suffered from depression. Unlike you though, he couldn’t pull himself out.”
“It’s the anger that did it.” She dried the last of the wetness from her cheeks. “I began asking myself questions. What had Todd done to deserve dying alone? What had I done to deserve being widowed so young? What had Jason done to deserve being left fatherless? Why would God hurt us this way?”
“None of you deserved it.” Pain and understanding shimmered in his eyes.
Something had happened to him too
.
“I know that now, but at the time, I was so pissed.” She jumped off the bed and began to pace. “And do you know what the worst part is?” she asked, shooting him a glance. “Todd wasn’t even supposed to be in Afghanistan. Without even
discussing
it with me, he re-upped. He was such an adrenaline junkie that he chose the military over us. I bet Jason and I never even crossed his mind when he was signing those papers.”
Nic’s eyes widened. “Do you really think that?”
Her shoulders slumped. “I did. I even started thinking that I could have kept Todd home if I’d been a better wife, been more exciting, more adventurous—more like him.”
“
Chérie
.” He shook his head. “You’re perfect the way you are. If you were my wife, you’d always come first.”
She stopped in front of him. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” He pulled her onto his lap and held her as if he’d never let her go. Nic would love the way he did everything—intensely.
After a few moments, he raised his head from her shoulder and frowned. “If you feel this way, why wear his dog tags?”
“Because I am—was—ashamed.”
“Of what?”
“I was so angry and hurt that I started to hate Todd, to hate the man I’d loved for so long. It took some time for the wrongness of that to finally sink in. But when it did, I hated myself for feeling that way. I vowed to wear Todd’s dog tags as a sign of my devotion to him, of our love for each other.”
Nic rubbed lazy circles on her back. “Wherever he is, Todd knows you loved him.”
Lowering her gaze, she once again reached down to take the dog tags in her hand. “The first couple of years were hard. I had no husband, no job, and no way to support myself and my three-year-old son, except for a small military widow’s pension that didn’t even cover the rent.”
“What about your photography? Didn’t you tell me you went to some fancy college in Seattle?”
“The Art Institute of Seattle.” She smiled, pleased he remembered. “I did study photography there, but I’d never worked as a photographer, never worked at all, actually. Since Todd was away so much, we’d decided I’d stay home with Jason.”
“So what did you do?”
“I got a job at a local department store taking photographs. The pay isn’t great, but the hours are flexible.”
Nic tugged one of her curls. “You’re one of the bravest women I know. You took a terrible situation and made a life for yourself and Jason. It takes guts to do that, real guts.”
“I was pretty gutless on the social side though. My friends, Julie and Sandra, kept asking me to go out with them, to meet new people, but I wasn’t ready.” Looking at Nic, she grinned. “One day, I saw you in a movie and realized that I wasn’t dead, that I could still feel, that I could be happy again.”
“You got all that from watching one of my movies?” he asked, arching a brow.
She burst out laughing. “When you walked on screen, all big muscles, killer abs, and to-die-for smile, I thought
I could kiss this man, I could
—” She cut herself off and grinned. “You get the picture. I went on a few dates, but they didn’t work out. I wasn’t ready to move on to other men. So I focused on Jason and on my photography.”
“A wise choice.” His words made her smile.
A touch of jealousy wasn’t a bad thing
.
She paused, collecting her thoughts. “Looking back on it, I wasn’t ready because I hadn’t completely accepted Todd’s death, and my reaction to it. I loved him, but God knows he wasn’t the perfect man I’d made him out to be. I needed to remember who he really was—a young, adventurous, brave, loving husband and father proud to serve his country as a rescue medic.” She offered him a small smile. “You helped me realize that, actually.”
Nic eyebrows rose in a “who me?” way, making her chuckle. “Yes, you. I spent years comparing every man I met to you, well, at least, what I thought I knew about you.”
“You compared other men to me?”
“Is that so hard to believe? You’re a great guy. Todd was a good man, but we were young, and we made stupid mistakes.”
Nic got a distant look in his eyes that she couldn’t read. “Didn’t we all?” He shrugged and dropped his eyes to the chain around her neck, fingering it. “What about now? Are you ready to move on?”
She nodded. “I probably should have done this a long time ago, but until now, I didn’t have a compelling reason.” She breathed deeply once, twice, and pulled the chain over her head.
“
Chérie
,” he said, his voice thick. “Todd was a lucky man to have you.”
She pulled him close. “Maybe so. But now, I’m all yours.” Her lips touched his and she kissed him, channeling all the emotions swamping her heart. Desire rose, different this time, stronger, deeper, truer. Nic returned her embrace with a fervor and fierceness she hadn’t felt from him before.
Nic pulled back and lifted her hand that still held the dog tags. “What do you plan to do with these?”
She rested her forehead against his and sighed. “I’ll give them to Jason. They’ll mean a lot to him, and I think Todd would be pleased.”
He rose from the bed and brought her a small box from the dresser. “If you want, we can put them in here for safekeeping.” She held them out, and he slipped them into the box and put it back in the drawer.
As he came up beside her, she spun him around, tumbling them onto the bed in a heap. She smiled, happy in her favorite place—lying full length on her man. But after the long confession, her emotions were running close to the surface. “Make love to me, Nic. I need you,” she whispered.
He held her gaze for several long moments, his eyes solemn. As he searched her face, she held her breath, the beating of their hearts the only sound in the room. Finally, a small smile curved his lips. “My pleasure.” Threading his fingers through her hair, he pulled her down for a deep, thrilling kiss that stoked the fire burning inside her.