Deadly Proposal (Hardy Brothers Security Book 4) (8 page)

James stared at his computer screen, not focusing on anything in particular as his mind drifted. He was worried about Mandy. She was better, but she was acting odd.

James wasn’t acting much better. He knew that. He just didn’t know how to do anything else. Every time she moved, her face registered pain. Every time she leaned back on the couch, she grimaced. Every time he shifted while in proximity to her, she cringed.

Things were improving, but James wanted his life back. He wanted his blonde back. He wanted their easy repertoire and sassy conversations back. He wanted everything back. He just didn’t know how to make it happen.

The sound of footsteps on the stairs drew his attention to his open office door. Ally had only been upstairs for about a half hour. There was no way she was done with her visit already.

When she strode into his office, her long hair flying, James was taken aback by the fury on her face.

“What is wrong with you?”

James leaned back in his desk chair, wracking his brain for the meaning of her question. “I think you’re going to need to be more specific.”

Ally stalked over to his desk and planted her hands on it, palms out, as she leaned over and fixed him with an ornery look. “What. Is. Wrong. With. You.”

“I’m. Not. Slow.” James was being purposely obnoxious. “I just don’t understand what you’re asking.”
God, it felt good to be able to fight with someone.

“Have you taken a good look at your girlfriend upstairs?”

“I look at her every day,” James said. “I haven’t been able to look at anything else for a week.”

“Well, she’s a mess,” Ally said.

“I’ve noticed.”

“Why aren’t you doing something about it?”

“What do you suggest I do?”

Ally’s mouth fell open. “Seriously? Tell her you love her or something.”

James frowned.
What did that have to do with anything?
“What are you talking about?”

Ally straightened up, glancing over her shoulder for confirmation that she really was having a conversation with her brother and she hadn’t fallen into some weird alternate dimension. “Mandy thinks you’re going to break up with her.”

“What? That’s ridiculous,” James scoffed.

“It’s not ridiculous,” Ally said. “Well, it might be a little ridiculous. She believes it, though.”

“Why would she possibly believe that?”

“Well, for starters, she says you won’t touch her,” Ally said.

“She’s a walking bruise,” James argued. “The doctor warned me that any touch – even a minor one – would cause her pain. I’m not causing my girlfriend pain. That’s not my thing.”

“Have you told her that?”

“I should think it was pretty obvious,” James said.

Ally tilted her head, her frustration evident. She moved back to the office door, shutting it to give them some privacy. She doubted Mandy would eavesdrop – but the woman was so upset she wasn’t putting anything past her right now.

James watched Ally, curiosity washing over his face. “What are you doing?”

“Just being careful,” Ally said. “I think we need to have a serious talk.”

“Were we doing a comedy routine before?”

Ally ignored the sarcasm. “Mandy has convinced herself that you’ve already got both feet out the door, and that you’re just waiting to break up with her until she’s better.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” James argued. “Why would I possibly want to break up with her?”

“Well, she seems to think you find her ugly now because of the bruises and … the other stuff,” Ally said.

“What?”

Ally held up her hand to still him. “She thinks that you were planning on breaking up with her before the explosion.”

James felt like he was caught on repeat. “Why would she think that?”

“She’s convinced that you purposely forgot the party because you were trying to distance yourself from her,” Ally said. “She thinks you only came to the party because you felt guilty. She told me that you’re bored being in a relationship, and you want your old life back.”

“Where would she even get that?’

“Well, she’s going a little stir crazy,” Ally said. “That much is obvious.”

“It’s only been a week.”

“It’s been a week of sleeping in the same bed with a man who refuses to touch her,” Ally said. “She says you sleep as far away from her as you can get.”

“I haven’t been sleeping,” James said. “I keep jerking awake. I don’t want to jostle her. She’s getting fewer pain meds now. If I jostle her, it will hurt her.”

“Why haven’t you been sleeping?”

James shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It obviously matters,” Ally said. “Tell me.”

“I keep having nightmares,” James admitted. “I keep seeing the explosion. This time, though, she dies. Every time she dies, and I wake up in a cold sweat when I can’t save her. I don’t want to freak her out.”

“Well, good job,” Ally said. “She’s now moved past being worried because you’re not sleeping to being terrified that you’re done with her.”

“I think you’re exaggerating,” James said, although worry niggled the back of his mind. “She couldn’t think that.”

“Well, she does,” Ally said. “She thinks you’re just waiting to break up with her.”

James pushed his chair back from his desk, getting to his feet slowly. Something about Ally’s words struck a chord with him, causing things to shift into place. “She wanted to … you know … this morning.”

“Yeah, she told me that, too. She says you don’t find her attractive anymore and that’s why you didn’t want to have sex.”

“Hey, I always want to have sex,” James argued. “What I don’t want is to hurt her.”

“Well, in your efforts not to hurt her physically, you’ve managed to crush her heart,” Ally replied.

James shoveled a hand through his hair. “I don’t know how to fix this.”

“Just be honest.”

“I’m scared to be honest,” James said. “Dr. Fitzgerald said that she should be kept still and quiet. I don’t think he had a big emotional blowout in mind when he gave me those instructions.”

“She’s healing, James,” Ally said. “Her body is recovering. Her mind is a different matter. You need to ask yourself one simple question: Is following the doctor’s orders more important than making that woman up there feel safe?”

“There is nothing in the world I wouldn’t do to make her feel safe, Ally,” James said. “I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. I can’t hurt her. I
won’t
hurt her.”

“She’s already hurt, James,” Ally said. “You can’t fix the physical stuff. Her body is doing that on its own. You can fix the emotional stuff – and I recommend you do it quickly. She’s … unraveling.”

James sighed, moving around his desk and pausing next to Ally long enough to give her a brief hug. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Of course I told you.”

“You could have done the girl-pact thing and kept it to yourself until it was too late to fix,” James said. “You didn’t do that.”

He moved toward the stairs.

“Um, I told her that I was talking to you about answering the office phones this week,” Ally said.

James paused. “And?”

“Well, now I’m invoking the sibling-pact thing,” Ally said. “Don’t you dare rat me out.”

“She’s going to know when I go up there to talk to her,” James pointed out.

“Not if you’re smart about it.”

James chuckled, the sound foreign to his own ears.
How long had it been since he laughed?

“Your secret is safe with me.”

“Good,” Ally said. “Now, go and fix her. Oh, and if she wants to have sex, just a tip, have sex. Rejecting her is just … mean.”

James shook his head as he tried to dislodge Ally’s words from his brain. “I’ll see you Monday. Make sure the front door is locked on your way out.”

James jogged up the stairs, pausing in front of the apartment door to collect himself before pushing inside. He had no idea how he was going to handle this. He just knew he needed to do it – and he needed to do it now.

The living room was empty, so James headed toward the bedroom. She wasn’t there – but something about the stillness of the room bothered him. The only room he hadn’t checked was the bathroom. He knocked on the door and waited a moment. When there was no sound from the other side, he opened the door and found the room empty.

Where was she?

James sucked in a breath as he took a closer look at the apartment. Her things were … gone. The shark slippers that had been by the edge of the couch, the hoodie that had been draped over the armchair, and the black Converse that had been situated on the rug by the front door were all missing.

James’ heart flopped painfully.

He strode back to the bedroom, really looking at it this time. The nightstand on his side of the bed was clear. Her antibiotics, the numbing agent, and the white gauze – they all were gone. When he glanced at the nightstand on her side of the bed, he found that her cellphone was also absent.

She’d left. She’d left the apartment. She’d left their home. She’d left him.
But how?
She didn’t have a car. She could’ve called a cab, but that didn’t seem like something she would do. Who would she have called?

The answer hit him square in the chest. Heidi. She was the only person who would have dropped everything to help a despondent Mandy when she didn’t feel like she could trust anyone else.

James fought to keep his breathing even, to not let the panic take him over. He’d screwed up again. He’d missed the signs. He was going to put one of those little chalkboards around her neck and make her write everything down on it from now on so he knew what was going on in that busy little mind of hers.

Think! Where would she go?

James was pocketing his keys and moving toward the door mere seconds after the answer hit him. She’d gone to her apartment. There was nowhere else she could go.

“Are you on the lam or something?”

Heidi had picked Mandy up outside of Hardy Brothers Security, not once considering ignoring the request. She’d known the blonde clerk for four years – but the haunted tone of her voice was something new.

When Heidi had pulled up outside of the building, she’d found Mandy waiting with two duffel bags in her hands and a morose expression on her face. Heidi had no idea what was wrong – but it had to be big.

“Why would you think I’m on the lam?” Mandy asked.

“Because you told me to be quiet and not honk my horn,” Heidi said. “I figured this was part of some covert mission. Isn’t that what the Hardy brothers do?”

“I have no idea what the Hardy brothers do,” Mandy said, not bothering to hide the bitterness in her voice. “They’re not my concern anymore.”

“Not your concern? You and James are in love.”

“James and I aren’t together.” Mandy’s body was stiff, her voice stiffer. “He wanted out.”

That didn’t sound right to Heidi. She’d seen James and Mandy together. In fact, she’d been jealous of their relationship more times than she could count. She was embarrassed by the internal admission, but it was the truth. James and Mandy had the kind of relationship that people dreamed about. Heidi knew she’d been dreaming about one just like it since she was a teenager. Something else had to be going on here.

“Does James know you two aren’t together anymore?”

“I told you, he’s the one who wanted out,” Mandy said.

“Then why did you sneak away?”

“Because I didn’t want some big confrontation. I’m tired. I’m sore. I just want … I just want a little peace. Is that too much to ask?”

“No, but … .”

“But nothing,” Mandy said, her voice climbing an octave. “James Hardy doesn’t love me. He’s trying to be nice and not hurt me, but that’s not the type of relationship I want.”

“You’re still recovering, though,” Heidi said. “I don’t think you should be running around town with a chip on your shoulder when you need to be taken care of.”

“I don’t have a chip on my shoulder,” Mandy countered. “And I’m not staying with a man simply because he’s too scared to tell me the truth.”

Heidi pursed her lips, keeping her eyes trained on the freeway as she merged onto the exit ramp that led to Mandy’s apartment. “I don’t want to argue with you,” she said. “You look like you’ve been through enough for about three lifetimes. That being said, I can’t help but wonder if you haven’t lost your mind.”

“I’m perfectly sane.”

“Yeah, well, the James Hardy I’ve come to know is crazy about you,” Heidi said.

“He
was
crazy about me,” Mandy replied. “Things change. He fell out of love with me. It happens. I’m not surprised, really. I always expected it.”

“You did not.”

“I did, too,” Mandy said. “I never told you this, but James actually bolted the first night we had sex. He snuck out of my apartment and left me there to wake up alone. This was always his plan.”

Heidi was stunned. “That’s heinous.”

“It is.”

“He came back, though.”

“He did,” Mandy said. “I now realize it was just the guilt driving him. I refuse to be a guilt girlfriend.”

“I don’t think that’s what you were – or are.”

“You don’t know,” Mandy said.

Heidi made a popping sound with her lips. “You’re
really
cranky.”

“I’m just accepting my lot in life.”

“What’s your lot in life?”

“I’m going to be alone,” Mandy said. “I understand that now. I’ve loved James Hardy since I was fourteen years old. He didn’t feel the same way then. I somehow managed to convince myself that he felt that way now.”

“I think he does.”

“He doesn’t,” Mandy said. “He doesn’t want to be with me. I’m just a burden to him.”

“Is this about the explosion?’

“Who cares about the explosion? The pain I have from that stupid thing is nothing compared to the big James-Hardy-shaped hole in my heart. I’m done.”

“Maybe I should call him.”

“If you call him, I’m never going to speak to you again.”

Heidi worried her lower lip with her teeth. “What are you going to do when I get you home?”

“I’m going to take a bath and then I’m going to go to sleep,” Mandy said. “In another week, my body will be healed and I’ll be able to put all of this behind me.”

“You’re going to put James Hardy behind you?”

“I’m going to try.”

JAMES
pulled into an open parking spot in front of Mandy’s apartment building and slammed his Explorer into park. He jumped out of the vehicle, pausing when he saw Heidi sitting in her car alone. She was talking to herself.

James knocked on the window, causing the pleasingly plump court stenographer to jump. Heidi rolled down her window when she saw him. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Is she inside?”

“Yeah.”

James searched Heidi’s face for a clue. When he didn’t find one, he squatted down so he could better talk to her on an even level. “What did she say?”

“She said a whole heck of a lot,” Heidi said.

“Like?”

“Well, for starters, she says you don’t love her and she’s a burden to you.”

James growled. “She’s killing me.”

“I told her I thought she was losing her mind, but then she got mad at me so I stopped saying that.”

“What else did she say?”

“She said that you want a life that doesn’t include her, and that she’s sick of being a guilt girlfriend.”

James was curious. “What’s a guilt girlfriend?”

Heidi pinched the bridge of her nose. “Did you really sneak out of her apartment and leave her to wake up alone after the first time you had sex?”

James’ heart pinged. “Yes.”

“That was a jackass move.”

“I’m well aware.”

“She said … she said … .”

“What did she say, Heidi?”

“She said that she’s been in love with you since she was fourteen, but she couldn’t pretend you ever loved her anymore,” she said. “I told her that was crazy. I’ve seen you two together. You’re either the best actor ever, or you love her with your whole heart.”

“I love her more than anything in this world, Heidi,” James said. “You’re not wrong.”

“Then why is she acting like this?”

“She’s on medication,” James said. “She’s in constant pain. I’ve been … distant. I was being distant because I thought I was protecting her. I may have been wrong to do it.”

Heidi looked dubious. “May have?”

“I was definitely wrong,” James said. “I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“You’re a man,” Heidi said, shrugging. “You always think you’re doing the right thing until you realize you’re doing the wrong thing.”

“I can’t argue with that.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“I think shaking her is out of the question,” James said, immediately regretting the joke. “I’m going to try and talk to her.”

“I don’t think she’s ready to listen.”

“Then I’ll camp out on her doorstep until she is ready,” James said. “She can’t stay in there forever. There’s no food.”

“I hope you fix this,” Heidi said. “You guys are my hope.”

“Your hope?”

“My hope that I’ll find what you have someday,” Heidi said. “You guys are the dream.”

“Well, I’m going to go and reclaim my dream,” James said. “I’ll have her call you when she’s feeling better.”

“Will you call me regardless?”

James nodded. “Yeah. Just give me some time. I don’t think this is going to be quick.”

“Good luck.”

James watched Heidi pull away from the building, squaring his shoulders as he marched to the apartment door. He raised his hand to knock and then thought better of it. He searched his key ring, finding the right one on his third try. He inserted it into the lock and pushed the door open.

She might not want to face him – but he wasn’t going to give her a choice.

The door opened four inches and then stopped. “Ugh.” She’d engaged the security chain. “Mandy?”

No one answered from inside. “Baby?”

Still nothing.

James sighed, sinking down to the hard cement and leaning against the door. “I want to talk to you.”

James leaned on his elbow and peered into the apartment. The angle of the door didn’t give him much of a view. “I know you’re in there. I guess I’m going to have to talk to you from right here.”

Silence.

“Everything you told Ally is wrong,” James said. “Every single thing is wrong.”

A woman approached the stairwell, heading up toward a higher floor. She paused a few feet above him, shooting him a dirty look. “No means no, buddy.”

James rolled his eyes. “Your neighbor thinks I’m stalking you. You’ve got to let me in so I can apologize.”

“Do you really think stalking her is going to win her back?” The woman had a set of keys clasped in her hand. “I’m going to call the police.”

James scowled. “I’m not stalking her. She’s my girlfriend.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re not stalking her.”

James jangled his own set of keys. “I have a key. Does a stalker have a key?”

“She’s got the security chain on,” the woman said. “She obviously doesn’t want you bothering her.”

“She’s just upset.”

“Stalker.”

“Busybody.”

“Mean stalker.”

“Annoying busybody.”

“I’m definitely calling the police,” the woman huffed, climbing the stairs.

James sighed. The last thing he needed was police intervention. “I’m going to shut and lock this door, Mandy. I’m not leaving, though. You can’t hide forever. I’ll be in my truck.”

When the door was locked, James trudged back toward the parking lot. He pulled up short when he saw Emma watching him curiously from a few feet away. She’d moved into the building after losing everything in a fire. James had almost forgotten that fact. “What’s going on?”

“Mandy has lost her mind and I’m trying to make up,” James said.

“Oh.”

“Her upstairs neighbor threatened to call the cops,” James explained. “I’m going to wait out here.”

“Do you want me to try?”

James shook his head. “I don’t think that will be much help right now. I’m hoping, after a full night’s sleep, that she reconsiders things.”

“How long are you going to wait?”

“As long as it takes.”

“Maybe you should go back to your apartment and give it some time,” Emma suggested. “I’m sure it will be okay in the morning.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“You’re going to just sit out here? It’s going to get cold.”

“I’ll sleep in the Explorer.”

Emma tilted her head to the side, glancing between Mandy’s apartment and James’ vehicle. “That seems a little extreme.”

“We haven’t spent a night apart in ten months.”

“You being in your car and her being in her bed
is
being apart.”

“I can’t change that,” James said. “I won’t leave her. I’ll never leave her.”

“I know you’ll never leave her,” Emma said. “That’s not what I was getting at.”

“It doesn’t matter. If she needs me, I’m going to be here.”

Emma smiled. “You can stay in my apartment if you want.”

“No. I need to be here, right outside. I’m not going to risk missing her.”

“I hope things work out.”

“They’ll work out,” James said. “Losing her isn’t an option for me.”