Chapter 22
D
ONETTA
“G
eneva, what in the world were you doing outside? It's freezing,” Donetta said when Geneva came on the line. “Samuel said you were out back on the patio wrapped up in some damn blankets.”
“I had the fire going. It was nice.”
“Geneva, you're talking crazy. It's thirty degrees outside, and it's snowing on top of that.”
“It just started, and it's beautiful.”
Donetta shook her head. “What's wrong with you? I know something's going on because Samuel answered the phone sounding like he just lost his best friend and you're about to turn into a Popsicle. Somethin' ain't right.”
“You sound congested, are you catching a cold?”
Donetta had just finished blowing her nose to end the long cry she'd had after hanging up on Shartell. She'd called Geneva to tell her about Shartell's scheming ways, but first she wanted to know what had made her friend so upset that she had to sit outside in the cold. “I hate it when you avoid my questions. What's wrong?” Donetta asked again.
Geneva let out a sigh. “I don't want to rain on your happiness with my drama.”
“Ha, too late for that. But I'll fill you in on it later. Right now I want to know what's going on with you and Samuel. Is this about your dream? Did you talk to Councilwoman Harris about it?”
“No, I haven't had a chance to call her. As a matter of fact, I haven't even told Samuel because so much has gone on in this house. This definitely isn't the type of family holiday I'd envisioned. The last few hours have been so stressful I don't even know where to begin.”
Donetta had a feeling she knew what was wrong. “Did that asshole brother-in-law of yours do something to piss everybody off?”
“How did you know?”
“Because with the exception of the trouble that Vivana's interview stirred up yesterday, everything with you was fine. You and Samuel get along great, Gabrielle is an angel, and your mother-in-law and father-in-law are super-sweet people, so by process of elimination, the only person left is Samuel's brother. I've met him, and he's a real piece of work, so I can only imagine what kind of stunt he's pulled.”
Donetta had only met Joe once, and that had been when he'd come down for a visit shortly after Gabrielle had been born. Donetta hadn't liked him on sight, but because he was Samuel's brother, she'd tried to be cordial. It had only taken her five minutes of conversation to assess that Joe was a complete ass, and he'd turned her off by his rude manner and off-color sense of humor. “Did he say something insulting to either of you?”
“Girl, if you only knew the half of it,” Geneva said.
“Oh my . . . I'm listening.”
“We had to put Joe out of the house.”
“What?! Why?” Donetta was still in her nightgown, so she walked back over to her bed and crawled under her cozy comforter as she watched the snow fall outside. “I just got back in my bed so I can lie down, because I have a feeling I shouldn't stand up while listening to this.”
“Joe and Samuel exchanged blows. Well, actually, Samuel knocked Joe out, and after that we told him that he couldn't stay under our roof, and that he had to leave immediately.”
“Shut the front door! You're shittin' me.”
“No, I'm serious. It was awful. I'm just glad my mother-in-law had Gabrielle in the guest room down the hall, away from all the drama.”
“Lord have mercy, Geneva. It's hard for me to picture Samuel raising his voice, let alone fighting.”
“Tell me about it. He hit Joe so hard that his knuckles are swollen. By the time the cab picked Joe up, his jaw was already the size of a small baseball. The sad thing is that I don't even care. As a matter of fact, I hope his jaw swells even bigger. Maybe it'll teach him a lesson.”
“Damn. What in the world did he do?”
Donetta had been lying down when Geneva began her story, but by the time she'd ended it, Donetta was sitting up in bed with her mouth hanging open.
“I always knew that Shartell had deceptive ways about her,” Geneva said. “Otherwise she wouldn't gossip and spread people's personal business around the way she does. But I had no idea she could be this heartless and downright cold-blooded. I get mad every time I think about all the times during the investigation when she was working right beside me in the salon, talking and laughing with me as if she'd never done a thing. What kind of person can do something like that?”
“The kind who doesn't give a damn about anyone other than themselves. She's always been a greedy opportunist, she just hid it well. That's what deceitful people do, and that's how they're able to continue to shit on people.”
“I guess you're right.”
“Well, don't feel bad. You're not the only one Shartell has tried to screw. I got a phone call from her this morning.”
Donetta went on to tell Geneva about how Shartell wanted to feature Donetta in an article that was set to run tomorrow, and that she'd been fishing for information on the man Donetta had been out with last night to include in the story. “That heffa actually had the nerve to tell me that she was doing me a favor by calling me before she runs the article.”
“She's gone way too far this time. Do you really think she's going to go through with it?”
“I hope not, but I'm not sure. With someone like her, it's hard to say. What I do know, though, is that Shartell likes to name names and use direct sources to make her articles appear juicier and more controversial. She doesn't have Phillip's name, and without it there's no shock value. She doesn't like to leave anything up for speculation, because that undermines her credibility.”
Geneva was quiet, and Donetta knew that couldn't be good. After a brief moment, Geneva cleared her throat. “I've had to learn the hard way that Shartell is ruthless. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if she ran the story anyway.”
“But she never spreads gossip unless she has a definitive source to back it up. Do you really think she'd pull the trigger without a smoking gun?”
“I sure do. Think about it. She could run the tagline, âTrans Woman Finds Love During the Holidays with Mystery Man', and she'll say she doesn't want to reveal his name in order to protect his privacy.”
Donetta's heart sank when she envisioned the caption. “After all the years that I've known her, if Shartell is heartless enough to do something like that to me, the Amber Police Department won't have to worry about spending taxpayers' money on an expensive investigation like they did Johnny's, because after I kill that bitch, I'll gladly go and turn myself in. Knowing Shartell's reputation, I'm sure a few people in uniform might actually thank me.”
“Donetta, don't say things like that. Joking about killing someone isn't funny.”
“I'm not joking.”
Donetta hated that she was caught in this predicament. She knew that because Shartell's book was scheduled for release in the coming spring, she needed something salacious to boost views of her column on Entertainment Scoop, which would increase book sales and ensure that she made several bestseller lists. For this reason alone, Donetta knew Geneva was right. Shartell was ruthless, and she'd made it clear that her own welfare was her main concern. “This isn't good at all,” Donetta said. “Damn!”
“Have you told Phillip yet?”
Donetta knew that Geneva was intimately familiar with her dating rules, and why she'd set them. Geneva had been there to nurse Donetta back to health after two attacks several years ago. One man had punched her in the stomach and fractured one of her ribs, requiring an overnight stay in the hospital. The other had waited until she'd left work one night and jumped her in the parking lot, beating her until she was bruised from head to toe.
Donetta knew that those incidents had left Geneva frightened for her, and she always worried that something like that might happen again. She knew that had been the reason why Geneva had been so concerned last night when she'd thought Phillip had been stalking Donetta in the grocery store.
“I had planned to tell him after our date,” Donetta said. “I figured once I got home safely, I'd call him and explain things. But as you know, he ended up spending the night, which I totally hadn't planned on. And you know I wasn't about to tell him while he was here in my house.”
“No, you did the right thing because you never know how someone will react.”
“Right. Plus, I got really sick right after I got off the phone with you this morning. One minute I was fine, and then before I knew it I was practically doubled over in pain. I even had to take some Dilaudid.”
“Oh no! What was wrong? Are you okay now?”
“I'm still in a little pain, but overall I'm much better than I was.” Donetta told Geneva about the bleeding, the pain, and about how Phillip had taken care of her.
“Wow, Donetta. I don't know very many men who're in long-term, committed relationships who'll help to that level. He sounds like a really good person, and he obviously has a kind heart,” Geneva said. “But even good, kindhearted people can lose it. Judging from what he's shown you, how do you think he's going to react when you tell him that you're trans?”
“I really don't know. He seems open-minded, but I can also tell he's very traditional. He has issues with his father, and from the little things he's told me, I think his papa was a rolling stone. His dad had a lot of women, and I know Phillip has, too.”
“Hmmm . . . interesting.”
“I know he'll be shocked, and he might even be angry. Even if he's both, I hope he'll be able to see me for who I am. That's been the hardest part of my entire life, every day I open my eyes.” Donetta's voice trembled as she spoke. “All I've ever wanted is to live as the person I really am, and be accepted for what's inside of me. From as early as I can remember, I've never, ever felt like I was anything other than female. I remember how I used to dread trips to the barbershop when my mom would take me to get my hair cut. I didn't want a tapered fade, I wanted my hair to grow so I could have ponytails like the rest of the girls. Sometimes I feel so hollow, Geneva. Even now, when I finally look like who I really am, it's still not enough. I'm tired of having to prove, justify, and explain who I am. It's exhausting, and I'm worn out. I just want to be happy.”
“Sweetie, I'm so, so sorry.” Geneva's voice was full of compassion. “I won't sit here and tell you that I know how you feel, because I don't. But like that famous worldwide project says, it gets better.”
Donetta nodded her head as she thought about the It Gets Better Project that was started in 2010 as a way to encourage, inspire, and give hope to young people facing harassment. Everyone from well-known Hollywood celebrities to little-known community activists were featured in video messages giving their account of how they overcame the adversities and struggles that came along with being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.
“You know, I think about that all the time,” Donetta said, sadness coating her voice, “and I don't only want it to get better, I want it to be great. You don't know how blessed you are to have been born with your outside matching up with your inside. You have a good husband who loves, values, and cherishes you, and a beautiful baby daughter who holds her arms out for you and lights up every time she sees you. I'd give anything to have that.” This was the first time Donetta had ever admitted that she envied her best friend's life.
“My life hasn't been perfect,” Geneva said. “I might not have gone through the same kinds of struggles that you have, but I've had my fair share of challenges. Yes, I was born looking and feeling like a woman. But the difference between you and me, Donetta, is that I looked like a woman and never really felt pretty. Regardless of what you looked like on the outside, you always, from day one, felt like you were the most gorgeous thing on two legs. That's powerful, because it's what's inside you that makes you so beautiful. I've always admired your confidence and how self-assured you are. It took me a long time to achieve what you've always had, so don't sell yourself short. And don't discount finding a husband and child who love you. If you want it, go after it.”
Donetta smiled. “You always know the right thing to say.”
“Not only is it right, it's true.”
“I pray that Phillip will think that way, too.”
“He sounds like a caring person, but you won't know until you tell him. If he can't handle who you are, then he's not the one for you.”
“Damn, life sure can throw you for a loop.”
“It can change in the blink of an eye. Look how much has happened to both of us in the last twenty-four hours. Yesterday, if anyone had told me that Vivana was innocent of Johnny's murder, I wouldn't have believed it, but today I know it's true. And if anyone had told me that my husband's brother would sell us out”âGeneva pausedâ“on second thought, that's a bad example. But you get my point.”
“I do, and I agree. Phillip came into my life and changed things, literally overnight. I've never been one of those sappy romantic types, but girl, I'm all in. That's why I'm so nervous about telling him.”
“He just might be your happily-ever-after. I've never heard you sound this way, and in all the years I've known you, I can't ever remember you bringing a man over to your house, let alone letting them spend the night.”
“Girl, I know. I'm so into him it scares me.”
“You've got to tell him right away. Like now.”