Yet Annie never forgot anything from that dark time. But today was not a day for bad memories. It was a fine, excellent, extraordinary day for Lisa, and that’s all Annie would remember.
Shoving hard, she buried the bad memories deep and put them under lock and key in a distant place like the therapist had suggested all those years ago. Then she turned her thoughts to Lisa: her courage, her trials, and this fabulous triumph. In spite of everything, with the unstinting support of Susan and Benjamin Brandt and Mark Taylor these last few years, Lisa had reached her dream and become a doctor.
Pride spread through Annie. Her baby had done it. She’d done it! Charles would have been so proud. And Susan too.
“Annie,” a man called out.
She swung toward the voice and saw Karl behind her on the sidewalk. For the life of her, she couldn’t recall his last name. Had she ever heard it?
“What a surprise.” What was he doing here?
“I thought that was you.” He smiled and caught up to her. “Why are you walking down the highway? Did your car break down?”
“My garage door wouldn’t open. I think there’s a short in the opener. How are you, Karl? I haven’t seen you in some time.”
“Oh, I’m staying busy, like everyone else.” He let his gaze slide down her. “You’re all dolled up. Pretty dress. Going someplace special?”
“Thank you.” What did she do now? She’d never been any good at lying, and she really hated doing it. But if she told him the truth, he’d burn up the phone lines calling Dutch. “It’s our regular church ladies’ monthly meeting night.” That was true enough, but they had canceled the meeting to attend Lisa’s party. Still, many of the church ladies would be there.
“Ah, well let me give you a ride. It’s way too hot and dangerous for you to be walking out here on the highway.”
“I’ve lived here all my life. The village has a very low crime rate. I’m fine.”
“I insist.” He held out a hand.
“I’m not stranded.” Annie smiled. “I don’t want to put you to any trouble.” How was she going to get out of this?
“It’s no trouble at all.” He clasped her arm.
Out of excuses and backed into a corner, she gave in. Not that she had much choice. The only way to get away from him would be to pull away, and that would be rude.
Don’t do it, Annie .
That small, quiet voice inside her sounded loud and clear.
Something’s not right. Don’t do it .
“You go on, Karl.” She patted his arm and pulled away. “I missed my treadmill walk this morning. The exercise will do me good—and it’s just a few more blocks.” Spotting his black car on the opposite side of the road, she got inspired. “I’ll be there before you can get your car turned around. But thank you so much for offering.”
He looped their arms. “Now, Annie, what kind of man leaves a woman stranded on the street? My wife would be appalled.” His smile didn’t touch his eyes. It chilled her.
Danger, Annie. Danger!
The alarm blaring in her mind set her to trembling. “No. Thank you, but no. I need the exerc—”
His fist came up fast, and a hard blow struck her jaw.
Pain exploded in her face. She staggered, dizzy. Fumbling, she reached for her cell phone, but before she could open her purse, he hit her again. And again.
And again.
Unable to lift her head or arm, she stared at the street, bits of dirt and concrete digging into her face. Cars zoomed by. She couldn’t see them for the cluster of trees blocking her view, but she heard them and silently begged one to glimpse her and stop. Just one of them. Just one!
But none did.
She begged and begged, then an excruciatingly hard blow slammed into her head.
And she couldn’t beg anymore.
Her heart stopped.
Karl stooped low and checked her pulse. Gone. He hesitated, darted his gaze around to see if anyone had taken notice, but covered by the trees that prompted him to intercept her in this spot, the cars sped by and no pedestrians were in sight on the sidewalk or outside any of the nearby condos.
Give her a chance .
His instincts rebelled against it, but she so reminded him of Angel. All Angel had needed was a chance. She hadn’t gotten it. All Annie wanted was a chance to know her child. After begging for a chance for Angel, could he deny Annie one?
Raven will kill you .
Some things were worse than death.
Help her and you’re crazy. Raven kills you, what about your own kids?
Brent and Shelley had their grandmother. If he didn’t give Annie a chance, he’d never again think of Angel without seeing Annie’s face, without believing Angel was denied a chance because of him and the decisions he made. This decision. His hands shook. His whole body shook. I have to do it .
He started CPR and pumped her chest. Sweat dripped from his brow onto Annie’s dress, splatted, and left a wet stain. “Come on, woman.”
He kept pumping … pumping … and then he felt it. A beat.
He waited a few seconds and then pressed his fingers to her throat. Weak and thready, but the thump against his fingertips was there.
“Okay, Annie. You’ve got your chance.”
Unfortunately he couldn’t say the same for her daughter.
8
T hree Gables never seemed more beautiful.
Breathless, Lisa stood and just soaked it all in. Lanterns hung in the trees and on the landscaped islands, and the fat squatty bushes beneath them sparkled with tiny twinkling lights. A huge tent had been erected on the grounds behind the house.
“Mark, look. Twinkling lights, bubbles in the fountain, and rose-petal trails all along the walkways. Isn’t it beautiful?” Lisa swallowed a lump in her throat. “Ben went to so much trouble.”
“Actually, Nora and Kelly took care of most of it.”
Kelly lived in one of the two cottages on the estate, so that didn’t surprise Lisa. Still … she turned to Mark, the skirt of her gown rustling. “I know Nora and Kelly didn’t do all of this. Some of the lanterns are hung fifteen feet high.”
“The guys and I lent a hand, mostly following instructions.”
Touched that he and his team would go to so much trouble for a woman they didn’t even know, Lisa glanced up at Mark. “Thank you. I don’t know.” She shook her head.
“What?” Mark clasped her shoulders. “I know you like it, so what is it?”
“I love it. I’m just overwhelmed, I guess.” She looked away. “I don’t say it often enough, Mark, but I am very grateful to have you in my life.”
“I’m the lucky one.”
Finally, he’s letting me know I’m important to him personally too . She’d feared the day would never come. “I was thinking. This is a special night for both of us.” Lisa had wanted to do something for a very long time, but it carried consequences. Ones she wasn’t sure she was willing to pay. Did she dare risk losing him?
“What?”
Too risky. You could lose what you have . “Never mind.”
“I hate it when you do that,” he said without any heat in his voice. “Just say what you want to say.”
“Okay, but I’d better not regret it.” Daring, she took a leap of faith. “Do you think two people can be friends for a long time and then realize what’s between them has become something more than friendship? Or maybe that it has the potential to become something more?”
Mark tensed and studied her. “I guess it depends on the people, but why not? I suppose they can.”
A little flutter leapt inside her. “Do you think if they tried to see if there could be something more between them and discovered that there couldn’t, they could still be friends?”
His brows knitted, and the smile faded from his eyes. “That would definitely depend on the people.”
“Oh.” At a loss, she wasn’t sure what to say. Friends were too rare to risk squandering even one. Now he appeared suspicious. Had she said too much to go back?
“I know you’re a puzzle queen and mental pretzels are fun for you, but I’m lousy with them. Show a little mercy and just tell me what’s on your mind.” Mark lifted a hand from her shoulder to her chin, raising it to see her eyes. “You can trust me, Lisa. No matter what you say, it’ll be okay.”
She waited for a couple to greet and then walk past them. When they were near the tent and out of earshot, she steeled herself and dared to say what she really wanted to say. “You’ve been such a friend to me and my mother. I wouldn’t want anything to jeopardize that.”
“Is something jeopardizing that?”
“I don’t know. That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” Unable to hold his gaze, she dipped her chin, focused on his chest. “It’s just that lately things have slowed down. I’ve had time to think, and I’ve been noticing things and thinking a lot.”
“Such as?”
She made herself meet his eyes. “You’ve become really important to me, Mark.”
His expression gave nothing away. “Don’t confuse gratitude with something else. I haven’t done any more or less for you than anyone else.”
Apparently he didn’t feel the same way, and she’d made him uncomfortable. But something was there. Something that urged her not to give up, to push a bit harder. “I know the difference between gratitude and … what I’m feeling. I’ve depended on others since I was sixteen. Without Susan, who knows where I’d be? Without Ben’s generosity, I wouldn’t be a doctor. I would have been homeless or worse, stuck living with my mother and Dutch. I am grateful, but I’m not confusing what I’m feeling for you with gratitude.”
“I’m glad your life is getting calmer.” Hunger flashed through his eyes, and the gleam in them went serious. “But I don’t know if—”
But. Not good . Disappointment bit her hard. No, not tonight. Not during her party . “You know, I was wrong to bring this up.” She shrugged. “Let’s just forget it.”
Forget it? Not a chance. Mark had waited nearly three years for this moment, for her life to get in enough order so she had time to notice more than work and study. He wasn’t yet convinced she had her feelings straight about him, but he wanted to be. He wasn’t forgetting anything.
“Look, Lisa, you’ve always been able to talk to me. We’ve shared everything with each other since day one.” He’d even talked to her about Jane, something he’d never spoken of to anyone other than the team. “Don’t clam up now.”
The wind stirred, rustling through the leaves, setting the lanterns to swaying and casting streams of light across the walkways and lawn. “This is hard.”
“Why?”
She took Mark’s hands in hers. “Because I don’t want to lose you. Ever. I don’t want to mess up what we have for what we may or may not get.”
Behind her, on the other side of the lawn island, the guys huddled near a bench. Lisa had no idea they were there. But from their expressions, they were hearing every word of the most intimate conversation Lisa and he had ever had, and Mark didn’t like it, but he didn’t want to say anything. She could back away and clam up for another three years. Mark turned and signaled with his hand for them to depart the fix.
Not one of them budged.
He lifted her hand, studied her nails.
“What are you doing?”
“Checking out your Passionate Pink.” He grinned. “You mentioned it. It stuck with me.” Boy, had it. He’d imagined her long, slender fingers, colored a thousand shades.
“What do you think?”
“It’s rich. Deep.” Mark swallowed hard, met her eyes. “Promises the kind of passion that lasts.” Did she realize he was no longer talking about her nails?
She wrinkled her nose. “So, do you like it?”
“Oh yeah.”
The hint of a smile curved her lips, also tinted passionate pink. Her mouth took his breath away and didn’t give it back.
She tilted her head, little wisps of loose hair soft on her face. “May I kiss you?”
That snagged the one thread of his attention she hadn’t already captured. Had he heard her right? “Excuse me?”
“I was hoping not to have to ask twice. It’s taken me a long time to work up the guts to do it once. But I can’t stuff the proverbial genie back in the bottle now.” She paused, then set her chin. “This is a big night for me and it’s your birthday and I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, so if you wouldn’t mind … may I kiss you?” She lifted a hand and stroked his jaw. “Not a peck like at the center, though those were nice too, but a real kiss.”
“Why?” Mark inwardly groaned. Everything in him shouted yes, but he had to know what it would mean.
Don’t make more of it than it is. You’re not lovable. You’re needed. That works for you. Don’t you dare forget this is Lisa . Lisa. She can break your heart. She can make you believe in fairy tales and pipe dreams .
He stiffened. He wanted her in his life, couldn’t imagine life without her. But he was way ahead of her on this relationship between them, and if he scared her off … Well, a broken heart he did not need. Not when in his whole life his heart had never been whole. When he’d made peace with constantly being blamed for his mother’s death, Jane had been killed. That was his fault. He didn’t dare to dream, especially not about Lisa. He’d fall so hard he’d never recover.
“Why?” She frowned. “Well, why not?” Lisa let out an exaggerated sigh, clasped her arms around his neck, and tugged him down to her. She brushed her lips against his, testing him. Slowly pulling back, she looked into his eyes, and then kissed him again. Harder. Deeper. Longer.
And shaken to the core by this unexpected but welcome turn of events, Mark kissed her back.
The guys waited until Lisa’s and his lips parted, then started whistling and laughing, teasing. They startled Lisa. “Knock it off, guys.”
“So sorry. It does appear we’re interrupting, gentlemen.” Tim cleared a choked chuckle from his throat. “Apologies, Lisa.”
She feigned a frown. “Uh-huh. I can see your regret all over your faces.”
“Couldn’t resist, dear heart.” Tim urged Sam to pass him on the walkway leading to the tent. “Carry on. We’ll see you two inside.” He motioned the guys toward the tent.
Mark watched them go, and Sam’s voice floated back to him on the gentle night breeze. “She’s definitely got the look.”
“She’s does, bro.” Joe patted Sam’s shoulder and leaned in to stage whisper, “But so does he.”
Mark wanted to crawl into a hole.
Lisa laughed. “Look at me, Mark.”
He couldn’t make himself do it.
“Please.”
Forcing himself, he turned his gaze.
She studied him critically. “You do have the look.”
“What do you know about the look?”
“I know you’ve got it.” She beamed. “You like me.”
He loved her. “You’re usually a very likable person—except for maybe right now.” Nudging him, making him dare to hope when he knew that was foolish, maybe even an insane thing to do.
“No.” She let her hand float down his sleeve. “You seriously like me.”
This was no nudge; it was a full-force push. Decision time. Dare to tell the truth and risk being a brokenhearted fool who would never recover, or stay silent and safe? He’d been safe. Safe was … well … safe, not content. Just once, he’d like to feel content.
Leap, Mark. Go on and leap. I won’t fail you .
God or wishful thinking? With his emotions in riot mode, it was hard to tell.
“Maybe a little.” Man, he hoped he didn’t regret this.
Lisa stepped into his arms. “I maybe like you a little too.”
A shield inside him crumbled like a pile of rocks. It was done, out in the open. He wanted to rebuild the shield, to believe the voice inside telling him to have faith was just wishful thinking, but he couldn’t. The rubble remained. He did believe. He did hope.
Weak. Stupid. You’re setting yourself up for a big, big fall .
I’ll carry you, son. Trust Me .
The battle within raged.
I know your fears. I love you, and I’m here .
Love. It was God. No one else had ever said love to Mark Taylor. Calm settled in. “I’m glad to hear that, Lisa.”