Deadly Wands (41 page)

“Oh, that. Yeah, I faked that in order to
destroy your mighty armada. Ten days of flying for ten minutes of
fighting.”

“You got Jebe?”

“And Subodei, Tamerlane, and you.”

By the time he found the main vault, Grandma
had already blasted it open. Billy knew they struck the mother load
by the stunned expressions of his team. He leaned in and whistled
in shock. He knew taking care of a few million warriors took a lot
of coin, but he never imagined what it’d look like. He started
laughing hysterically. This was even better than the vault in
Vienna. Ten crates had the word “wands” painted on them, which
meant half a million wand sets.

“All right, genius,” Grandma challenged him.
“This is too much to fly to Scandinavia, and a heavy wagon train
can’t get through all this snow. So we can’t leave it here, yet we
can’t take it with us.”

Billy smiled. “Every Bank of Mongolia branch
will become part of Global Bank, so we’ll store it all there. Tell
our marathoners they’re gonna be rich.”

CHAPTER 54

Billy’s fifty marathon battalions
systematically struck every enemy air unit in Russia. Billy took
the five best to hunt down Mongol survivors to prevent them from
regrouping.

This victory, after the one over Jebe in the
Alps, convinced Russians that the Baron was gonna win this thing.
After three centuries of personal security, most Mongols were
surprised that their neighbors broke into their homes and
businesses to slaughter them. Gangs killed and robbed anyone in
Mongolian clothing. A massive redistribution of wealth swept
Russia.

Back in Kiev, Billy found a new government
trying to get off its knees. Instead of bombs, Ivan kept his quads
busy transporting food confiscated by Moqali so Russians didn’t
starve this winter. Billy let Ivan try out Moqali’s excellent
wands. The big guy extended flame for ten meters, screaming like he
was having an orgasm.

“These are yours if you help me reproduce
with your most powerful quads. Preferably prodigies, but I don’t
care about looks, bloodlines, or personalities, as long as they
hate Mongols.”

Ivan studied him for a long time, unsure
whether to be flattered or offended. “You want to have sex with our
daughters?”

“I don’t care who they are related to. But
wouldn’t you like to be a grandfather to a quad like me to ensure
Russia remains free?”

Powerful families always bred with the most
powerful quads, so he accepted the logic with a nod of his head.
Soon, a few dozen ladies flew with him.

“Ivan, come with me to sign mutual defense
pacts and trade agreements with the Europeans, Turks, and Persians.
Yes, I know Turkey is in Europe, but nobody regards them as
European. I need you to look them in the eye so they see how
serious you are. You can’t smile, but you’ve mastered serious.
Meanwhile, I’ll have the trainers organize those who can fly the
highest so you can base units on top of the Ural Mountains.
Together, we’ll form a wall against Mongol invasions.”

Now, for Billy, came the hard part --
diplomacy. He couldn’t imagine dealing with clever rulers while
concealing his identity. However, he knew he had to unite everyone
before the euphoria of his victories wore off.

The month before, Free Europe had been on the
cusp of kicking out the Empire when Jack’s video of the Baron dying
on the Alps came out. His death took the heart out of the
resistance.

Prussia’s Kaiser urged all Mongols in Europe
to flee to his Holy Roman Empire because, without them, he was not
only doomed -- he was next. Millions loyal to the Empire fled while
they could. It was like Prussia was a sinkhole that sucked in the
unwanted.

Then fifty thousand marathoners appeared out
of nowhere and smashed the Prussian military with ruthless
efficiency. First to go was the Berlin Flying Academy, which was
organizing several hundred thousand quads from the rest of
Europe.

The Red Baron visited the biggest population
centers to tell them he’d sack any city where he found live
Mongols. To survive, they must shoot every Mongol on sight. To
explain his presence, he distributed videos summing up the Alps and
Kiev. Ivan presented himself as the head of an independent Russia
and the Scandinavian division commander said all of Scandinavia was
behind the Baron.

Overnight, it seemed, everything turned
upside down. The Kaiser, in a panic, offered to change sides, so
the Baron demanded his government commit all its resources to
eradicating the Mongol menace. Which many thought funny because the
Kaiser’s family had more Mongol blood than German.

Once he heard, Jack released an extended
version of the video of the Baron’s death, but this time, after
Jack sobbed over the Baron’s body, the “corpse” clearly said,
“Jack, you cry like a girl.” They hugged it out while bawling like
kids after eating too much candy. “We pranked Genghis Khan!” the
Baron yelled into the video wand. This recording spread even faster
than the original.

Once again, the Baron shocked the world.

The possibility of the Baron alive in Prussia
electrified the continent. Governments declared holidays and
everyone who could fly, flew. Those who couldn’t rode horses. Even
the king of England made the trip, bringing the mothers of Billy’s
children to impregnate again. The few million pro-Mongol people who
sought refuge in Prussia found several million anti-Mongols coming
to kill them. The epic slaughter released a century of oppression
that pundits called The Therapeutic War.

After their usefulness ended, Billy incited
the locals to annihilate the royal family, starting with
Barbarossa, the unpopular red-bearded Prussian Kaiser. The Holy
Roman Emperor was older than even Genghis Khan. His unsuccessful
wars against his neighbors led him to ally himself with the Mongols
in the first place. Barbarossa thought the Mongols were helping
him, only to realize later that he was helping the Mongols.

With the Kaiser’s death, the Baron declared
Europe free and every European government later made that their
independence day. Every year all of Europe would celebrate liberty
on the same day to cement their unity.

So many came to hear Billy’s speeches that
people got trampled. Kings demanded meetings. Bankers begged him
for money. People climbed over each other for just a glimpse.
Everyone wanted to touch him.

Billy couldn’t wait to leave.

Only Jack had the credibility to organize
democratic elections, rescuing Billy from months of politics.

But what really unnerved Billy were the
videos recording the reactions to the Baron’s death the month
before. People would never forget the moment they heard the tragic
news. Grown men fainted, others cried, while many simply fell
apart. Riots broke out, flags were lowered, and suicides soared.
When they discovered Mongol troops celebrating, Free Europe units
attacked enemies several times their size on their own. People on
the street struggled for a better word since “hero” seemed so
inadequate. Heroes come and go. The Baron pulled off miracles.

It made Billy feel like a total fraud.

Billy took his marathoners to Turkey to
convince the Ottoman Empire to also declare independence, despite
several generations of intermarriage with the Khan’s descendents.
Rather than face extermination, they agreed. Billy reproduced with
the royal family’s most powerful women and left trainers to upgrade
the Turkish Air Force.

Unlike the Prussians, the Turks had long
resisted the Mongols. In fact, their best sultan gathered a million
man air force, only to be crushed by Tamerlane two centuries before
in the largest battle in history. The current sultan, the Khan’s
own great-grandson, happily declared his kingdom’s independence,
urged his citizens to kill Mongols on sight, and ordered his
military to cleanse itself of pro-Mongolian officers. To show his
sincerity, he personally killed his mother, the Khan’s
granddaughter, who ruled in his name and made his life a living
hell.

Billy sent his force to seek out enemy units
while he flew to Arabia. The Arab leaders got freedom, wands, and
the prospect of offspring with the world’s most powerful quad. In
return, all they had to do was loan the Baron several marathon
battalions.

The Persian leadership, however, was more
Mongolian than Persian, so Billy wiped it out and started a
representative democracy.

Through cash, political support, military
might, strategic reproduction, treaties, and trade agreements,
Billy built an iron curtain west of the Mongol Empire. If warfare
is politics by another means, then Billy just consolidated the
victories paid for in blood on the battlefield.

His English family followed his growing
armada and turned Bank of Mongolia branches into parts of Global
Bank.

Europe declaring its independence inspired
the Chinese to rebel from the island of Hainan, Indians from the
island of Ceylon, and Koreans from Kanghwa Island, opposite Seoul.
So Billy sent them wands, armor, and gold, plus videos of the Baron
urging the Koreans, Chinese, and Indians to kill Mongols and take
their stuff. Global Bank also sent teams to start branches there.
Billy offered generous rewards for natives in the Mongol Air Force
to switch sides. The Baron was famous for his generosity, and Billy
would rather pay them than kill them.

Bear found Billy in Damascus, trying to teach
the new government how to govern and wishing Jack would do it for
him. There Bear regaled his friends on how he gave a thousand tons
of gold to the rebels in Korea and China. As soon as the smugglers
got away, Bear left news agencies a video of how the Great Khan
funded his newest rebellions. Then he ran like hell to find safety
with his friends. Billy had a video recorded of the two of them
laughing at the Khan’s foolishness. Team Red pooled together a
thousand insults to ridicule the Khan so that he never offered so
much ever again.

Billy encouraged them to celebrate for as
long as they wished. Only after satiating themselves with food,
drink, and sex would they accept their next assignment. Meanwhile,
Billy held a leadership meeting with just a dozen of his most
trusted commanders.

“We’re starting a new phase of the war. Send
for Jim to impersonate me. He’ll find red body armor waiting for
him at Global Bank in Warsaw. I need Genghis to think the Red Baron
leads you.

“Grandma, you have over fifty marathon
battalions. Exterminate everyone in the Stans so that the Khan
cannot re-supply there. You may find a million Mongols fleeing
Europe, so kill them, too. Take as many Mongol lives and valuables
as possible.

“Genghis will need months to field an armada
that can take you on. Meanwhile, he’ll position a blocking force to
deter you from raiding east. Wait for me to bring the
1
^st
Marathon Division to destroy them.

“Your raids will enrich your troops, so make
them commit now to stay with you until the Khan enters the Stans.
They’re not gonna fight an armada when they have so much money to
spend, so send them home and harass the Khan with the super-quads.
Destroy the roads to slow him down. Moqali left millions of bombs
near Kiev, so I asked Ivan to move them to the southern edge of the
Ural Mountains for you. I want Genghis far from home for as long as
possible.”

His friends stared at him in stunned silence
before Bear asked the obvious question: “Red, you want five
thousand of us to take on Genghis Khan?”

“No. I want you to keep Genghis Khan far from
home for as long as possible, while intercepting his communications
with the homeland without jeopardizing your troops. To reward you,
I’ll start delivering thousands of super-suits to Global Bank in
Kiev. You’ve all begged me for your own armor. This is what you
must do to earn it.”

Grandma asked the next obvious question.
“What are you up to now, you devious bastard?”

Billy felt flattered. “It’s so preposterous
that you’d laugh in my face.”

“Then I approve,” Bear grandly declared.

“But how will we stop Genghis Khan from
destroying Europe?” Grandma asked.

“Stop him?” Billy looked surprised. “I don’t
want you to stop him. In fact, I want all of Europe to know that
Team Red cannot stop him. I need you to send the marathoners home
so the Europeans know you cannot save them from Genghis Khan in a
killer mood. I told Jack when he visited me on the Alps that I was
sending Genghis to Europe. I even gave him a thousand tons of gold
to prepare the Europeans.”

Grandma needed a moment to take all this in.
“You knew, before beating Jebe, that Genghis Khan was personally
going to Europe?”

Billy shrugged. “Well, yeah.”

“Just how far do you plan ahead, Red?”

“I must foresee a few years to pre-deploy
supplies. My father explained what I must do a decade ago.”

“You’ve known for a decade how to end our
world war?”

“Not end it. How to win it.”

“Why are you sending Genghis Khan to
Europe?”

“One hundred new governments can’t spring up
overnight and just get along. Without a compelling reason, it’ll
take Europe a century and many wars to settle its borders, affairs,
and policies. I can’t wait that long. Since I believe in
self-representation, I cannot conquer Europe for its own good.
Which is why I need Genghis.

“The only thing that can unite Europe is a
credible enemy threatening to exterminate them all. Jack and I
cannot prevent the Europeans from fighting each other. But Genghis
Khan can.”

CHAPTER 55

His newest son climbed on Genghis Khan as if
he were a tree, planting his baby feet in his face as he strived to
lay his belly on the Khan’s head. The Great Immortal, watching the
Red Baron die in front of American Jack for the millionth time,
hardly noticed. The sight of that sickly, emasculated corpse
revived him like jumping in the freezing depths of Lake Baikal. His
arch nemesis had more bone than meat. Genghis heard of the phrase
“death warmed over,” but had never seen it until now.