Dear Emily (Forever Family) (12 page)

New Brunswick, New Jersey

Past

Age 18

The cold
air envelops my face as I walk out of the doors of Thomas Hall. I’m finally awake and out on time! I’m so pleased with myself as I stride across campus on my way to meet Kyle to make up the Biology labs.

This morning sucked big time. I can’t believe that I busted my ass to get his laundry done while he was hooking up with someone else. For all I know, he’s had a girlfriend this whole time, and I was completely reading his signals wrong.

Whatever.

I need to get through these next few hours so that I can make up these labs and be done with him. I’m so embarrassed, and I feel slightly used. I don’t like that feeling.

At. All.

“Hello, Pussycat.” I hear a voice behind me. Todd nudges me with his shoulder as I slow down. “Where are you going? Maybe I can take you there?”

I feel sick to my stomach as he glares into my eyes. “I’m… I’m meeting someone in a few minutes, Todd. I can’t talk to you. Not now, not ever.”

He roughly grabs hold of my arm as I start to walk away. “Kitty-Cat, I haven’t stopped thinking about you and your tight body since Halloween, and I’m ready for seconds.” The wild glint in his eyes sends chills down my spine. He is dangerous, and I need to get away from him immediately.

I yank my arm away and turn to run.

“I’ll be seeing you around, Pussycat.”

I am now full-on sprinting as I look back over my shoulder. He’s still standing where I left him.

I make it to Manning Hall with five minutes to spare. My heart is pounding. I am so rattled by Todd. As I make my way to the Biology lab on the second floor, my flip-flops catch on the bottom step. I start to fall forward when I feel a strong arm grab me around my waist.

“Easy there, killer,” Kyle says through a wide grin. He pulls me back into his chest as I steady myself. “Flip-flops? Really Carly?” He’s chuckling now as he shakes his head.

“What?” I ask. “Flip-flops are comfortable. They didn’t cause my fall. I just, uh, tripped on the first step. Lost my footing.” My cheeks are burning from embarrassment, and I pull away from him. I rub the tender spot on my arm where Todd grabbed me.

“Right. Whatever you say, killer.”

He gestures for me to go up the stairs first. “After you.”

We walk upstairs, this time without incident, and arrive at the lab.

“Let’s get this over with, OK?” I try to sound annoyed to brush off my anxiety.

“Yup,” he says quickly. “We have two labs to get you caught up on. The first is determining blood type, and the second is comparing plant and animal cells.”

This is not the least bit appealing to me. I’m taking Biology as my science elective towards my degree as a secondary education English teacher. This class is a necessity, but I just want to teach English.

I toss my backpack onto one of the empty tables and sit on a nearby stool. He takes a set of keys out of his pocket and unlocks a cabinet along the wall. He starts to gather equipment we’ll need for our lab work.

“You know, Carly, you can at least act like you want to be here,” he huffs as he places a microscope on the table in front of me.

He pushes a few papers around on the table and gets the rest of the materials. I watch him as he places some drops of water onto each of the papers and turns to grab something else.

He places some slides on the table and grabs my right wrist, turning my palm facing up. Suddenly, I feel a sharp pain on the tip of my finger and scream, “What the fuck!”

Ouch! Motherfucking OUCH!

He’s still holding my wrist tightly with one hand while he places a stick against my now bleeding fingertip, collecting droplets of my blood. He does this three more times until he collects a total of four samples and places them on the paper on top of where he placed the water. He finally lets go of my wrist and presses a cotton ball onto the tip of my finger.

I’m burning all over, mostly from anger. “God, Kyle. A heads up would have been nice!” I yank my hand from his grip, remove the cotton ball, and put the tip of my finger into my mouth. Relief!

“Hey, if I told you what I was going to do, would you have let me?” He lifts up the paper with my blood droplets on them. He starts to move the paper slowly in circles so that the blood mixes with the water and enzymes.

I remove my finger from my mouth with a loud pop. “Seriously, Kyle! You don’t just do that to someone without warning! I mean, look at this!” I hold my finger up so he can see that it’s still bleeding.

He chuckles and looks down at the paper in his hand.

“Type O. Congratulations, you’re a universal donor.” He smiles and pushes some worksheets across the table to me. “Complete this lab sheet while I get the microscope and slides ready for the next assignment.” He turns and I look down at the paper. I start to answer the questions, following the procedures that he just performed on my now throbbing finger. Damn!

After several minutes, my notes are captured on the sheet in front of me. I guess that was easy, but I certainly won’t admit it to Kyle.

“OK, next up is a comparison of plant and animal cells. Are you ready, or do you think you’ll need me to call you an ambulance?” He smirks sarcastically.

“I’m fine!” I huff.

He pushes another worksheet to me and gets the slides set up. “I swear I did this exercise in fifth grade. I’m sure I can tell the difference between plant and animal cells. Let’s get this over with.” I’m so annoyed!

The microscope is now in front of me and he is standing behind my stool. He reaches both arms around me as he places a slide on the tray. He leans over me, his chest pressing into my back. “Now, take a look and tell me what you see.” His mouth is practically touching my ear as I shudder. How can I possibly concentrate? I surprise myself with my reaction. All I want is for him to kiss my neck and wrap his arms around me. GAH!

I start to take notes as he switches the slides on the tray. I’m comparing cell structures, membranes, and nuclei. He is still behind me, talking very softly into my ear. I can feel my hair brushing up against his lips. “You see the nucleus of a plant cell is located in a different area than an animal cell? The plant cell has a very defined outer membrane while an animal cell does not.” He is trying to make sure I grasp these elementary concepts while he presses his chest into my back.

My heart is racing so fast that I’m sure he can feel it against his chest. I don’t want to, but I pull away slightly. He can’t know how he’s affecting me. I mean, he has a girlfriend; he shouldn’t be this close to me. Fuck!

He’s causing me to react to him. Forcing me to let my barriers down.

And I am.

Big time.

“OK. I think I got it, Kyle.” I pull a little further away from him and he gets the hint. He takes one last deep breath, as if he’s inhaling me, and pulls away.

He takes the sheet that I’ve been taking notes on and peruses it carefully.

“Yes, Carly, you definitely got it. Good job.” He smiles tightly and starts to gather the supplies from the table.

He puts everything back into the cabinet and locks it.

He takes both of my lab worksheets and puts them into his backpack. “I’ll give these to Professor Martin tomorrow morning when I see her. I’ll tell her that you are now all caught up and you remain a stellar student.” He says this with little emotion and zips his backpack closed.

“Thanks Kyle,” I say breathlessly. He has really affected me and I can’t seem to compose myself.

“So I guess we are all set? Even? I mean you helped me with these labs and kept my chicken pox secret from Professor Martin. And I did your laundry. So we are straight? Right?” I’m actually sad that our little arrangement is now over.

He reaches out and grabs the hand that he pricked earlier, raises up my forefinger, and swipes his thumb across the tip. “Feel better?” His big smile is back and I almost melt while he is grasping my hand.

“Yes, it feels better. I can only feel a slight heartbeat in the tip of my finger now. Not the throbbing I felt before.” I’m completely blushing now and I pull my hand away.

“Good. And I’m not sure if we are even. Yet.” His eyes sparkle and he smirks at me.

“What do you mean? We are square. Even. Done!” I stammer incredulously.

“Dinner. Then we’re square.” He states.

“I don’t think so Kyle.” He is kidding, right? Dinner, as in a date?

“Hey, we both need to eat and since I still clearly have some leverage over you, you aren’t in any position to argue. I’ll pick you up at your room at five o’clock.”

I huff again and throw my backpack over my shoulder.

“Whatever.” I guess that’s my answer.

We walk out of the lab, down the steps, and out into the cold afternoon air.

“My friends are coming over tonight, so we’ll need to eat quickly, and then you’ll need to be on your way. It is Wine Wednesday, Kyle.”

“So we’ll do dinner earlier then,” he smiles. “Actually, how about a late lunch. Starting now?”

“Um, OK.” I say.

We walk toward Thomas Hall into the cold wind.

We enter the building and that bitch, Amber, is at the security desk again. She’s like a fucking fixture. She perks up when she sees Kyle and heaves her tits out as usual. Her smile is huge when she says, “Kyle! How are you? How’s the Teaching Assistant gig going? Professor Martin has you covering so many of her lectures. Lucky you!”

“I’m great, Amber, and yes, I am working hard.” He dismisses her flirtatious advances and places his hand on my lower back directing me toward the cafeteria.

For once, I don’t let her antics bother me. “Bye Amber! Always a pleasure!” I smile back at her as I look over my shoulder.

We enter the cafeteria and the attendant states, “We’re closing in five minutes. Hope you’re taking your food to go.”

Shit! I forgot that they close down to prepare for dinner.

I turn to Kyle and say, “We can do this another time.”

“No, let’s get our food and take it upstairs. Your place or mine?” He winks and smiles.

“Mine, I guess. My roommate is never there so we can spread out and enjoy our food,” I answer. And maybe I can test myself being alone with him. Build up my courage to trust again.

I go over to the salad bar and load up on my favorites. I then grab a whole-wheat roll and a bottle of water and head to the cashier. I see that Kyle’s tray is piled with tons of food and I giggle. “Do you think you have enough?”

“Well, you clearly forgot to get dessert. One of us needs to remember,” he replies.

We check out just as the cashier and staff is getting ready to lock the doors.

We make it to my room and I wonder if we should go to the lounge again. It’s safer, more open. I shrug my worry off a little and we place our trays on my desk. My desk is situated at the foot of my bed, so I sit on the edge of my bed and offer my desk chair to Kyle. I fold my legs like a pretzel in front of me as I pour the dressing onto my salad.

“So, who is your roommate? Her side of the room seems, well, unlived in,” he says.

“Ginger, and she doesn’t really live here. Her boyfriend lives off campus and she is there all the time. The only time I see her is when she needs to switch her laundry.”

Shit. Laundry. I frown as I remember walking in on Kyle with that girl earlier this morning.

“Oh,” he says as he takes a bite from his sandwich. He finishes chewing his food and continues, “Speaking of laundry. Thanks. I mean you really rocked it this morning. I don’t think I’ve had all of my laundry washed, dried, and folded since I started school this semester. I guess after this meal, we’ll be even.” He smirks and takes another bite.

My heart sinks. I’m glad that we are going to be even, but that means this is it for us. I’m caught up in Biology and his laundry. And he has a girlfriend.

“Yeah, no problem. It’s all good.”

I stab my salad and spear a cucumber with my fork. Obvious much?

We finish eating our lunch quietly.

“How’s your finger?” He asks casually looking into my eyes.

I yawn. Man I’m so tired. I guess waking up at the crack of dawn today is really catching up to me.

“My finger?” I hold it up so the tiny pinprick hole is facing him. “It’s OK.”

“Tired? I don’t mean to keep you up.” He chuckles.

“Yes, I’m tired. I was up at the ass-crack of dawn doing laundry, remember?” I cover my mouth as I yawn again.

“Considering you need a nap before your ‘wine’ thing tonight, why don’t you go to sleep? If you don’t mind, I’m going to clear our trays away and get some work done.”

Wait. What?

“You mean you are going to stay here, while I sleep?” I ask.

“Sure, unless you are uncomfortable. I could use the quiet and you could use the sleep, so I thought it would be a win-win.” Well he does have a point. I need to convince myself and believe that Kyle is not a threat. This is impulsive and reckless.

But I don’t want to be alone. My altercation with Todd earlier today has me rattled and I don’t want Kyle to leave me. Determined to battle these demons, I stretch out and grab the afghan my Nana made me when I was a little girl. “Nope. By all means. Stay. Study. ‘Night.” I smile and burrow into my pillow. Although an incredibly hot guy is sitting across from me, I’m out within minutes.