“Humor me.” They were words she’d never expected to hear from Tucker.
Ever
. Not toward her. Not toward anyone. He’d always cited his parents’ divorce as when he’d lost faith in love. It had affected him and made him gun-shy in relationships. It had been a defining moment he’d written about countless times in papers and talked about with her.
“I love you.” He didn’t falter. Didn’t choke on the words. They were said straight and true.
And went immediately to her heart. And her soul. Made things inside her dance with joy. She couldn’t form anything coherent, so she didn’t open her mouth lest something escape that he wouldn’t even be able to understand.
“I’ve loved you since college. It’s always been about you.” He touched her hand and held it. Stroked his thumb across it. “Tonight I was going to take you to a fancy dinner. To an art show. Tell you that I loved you. I was going to make tonight about you. Not me.
You
. And show you how I felt finally.”
“You love me?” She couldn’t help her disbelief. After all he’d been saying they were just friends for so many years. So had she. He’d been denying that he’d ever fall in love for years.
“I do. It’s taken almost losing you to get my courage up to say it. There’s never been anyone else to drive me to this distraction, Ally. To make me feel this way. Only you.”
She closed her eyes. Heard the words again in her head. She’d hear him saying them forever. This moment would always be one that stuck in her mind, even when she was old and gray. A single tear escaped her eye.
He tensed his hand on hers. He gripped her so hard it was almost painful. Then he released her.
She felt him move away from her. She opened her eyes, and he looked as though he was preparing to exit the bath. What was that all about?
She looked at him closely. His face was drawn, and she’d never seen him look so beaten down.
She reached over and placed a hand on his arm. “Where are you going?”
Even his eyes appeared sad. “I’m just going to take myself away from here. I can’t even do this right. With the woman I love. If I can’t do this, I can’t do anything.”
“What are you talking about?” She wouldn’t let him throw off her hand. She wasn’t about to let him get out of the tub. Funny, she hadn’t wanted him in it. Now, she didn’t want him to get out of it.
“I made you cry.
Again
. I can’t win. I’m never going to make you happy. It figures. The woman I love…” He pursed his lips into a frown. “I’ll get out of your life.”
The tear. The fact she hadn’t said it back. He was thinking she was upset and wasn’t returning his feelings. “Wait.”
He stilled but didn’t turn toward her.
Once upon a time, a bird had gotten into the house. She’d had to chase it down, Devyn and Tucker had been no help. She’d finally caught it. It was a weak, tender little thing with bones and feathers that hardly weighed an ounce. She’d cupped it, its heart pounding furiously against her hand as she moved outside to set it free. She’d opened her hands and it had flown away, wings flapping furiously.
She held Tucker’s heart in her hand right now just as she had that bird’s. And he was just as fragile.
Only she didn’t intend to set him free.
“Tucker, I’m crying this time because I’m happy.” She tugged on his arm, and this time he let her pull him entirely back into the bath water.
He settled down, water sloshing, but he was still looking at her dubiously. “I’ve never understood that about women. Cry when sad. Sob when happy. It doesn’t make sense.” He grumbled as she came to him and settled so she was sitting in front of him. He moved grudgingly and placed her between his thighs. She leaned her back up against his hard chest.
It felt like coming home.
“Women do a lot of strange things. I know. But I’m happy. That’s why I was crying. I never imagined you saying that to me.” Never in a million years. She hadn’t realized how much she wanted to hear those words until he said them.
“Me either. But you’ve been so unhappy. I didn’t want to lose you.” He took a deep breath. “Devyn said you were unhappy because you didn’t have a commitment from me. I didn’t think I could give you one until last night. Last night showed me how much you mean to me, Ally. How much I love you.”
“I love you too, Tucker.” She finally let the words out. Words she’d been denying since the first time that she and Tucker had had sex. She’d tried to tell herself it was just about the act in the bedroom and nothing else. She’d tried to tell herself she didn’t feel anything about him, except lust. Only that hadn’t been enough for her. Devyn had nailed it. It was why she’d been so restless lately. She’d needed more in their relationship and didn’t think Tucker would ever be able to provide it. Not to mention she hadn’t thought their relationship had been based on anything but proximity and ease.
Only he had provided her what she needed.
His entire body relaxed at her words. Even more so than when she’d explained why she’d been crying.
“Little relief there?” She couldn’t resist a tease. He’d put her through the teasing wringer enough times.
He tightened his hold, his arms clutching her around her chest and making her even more flush against him. “You didn’t say it at first. I thought you must not feel the same way.” He let out a bitter laugh. “I didn’t know what I was going to do. I wanted you to love me back.”
She stroked his strong arms. “Of course I feel the same way about you. We’ve been through so much together.”
“Yeah, I know.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I didn’t run from you, Ally. When it got tough and emotional. I ran toward you. I said that before, I know. You know—”
“—how difficult it is for you? Of course I do. I know it took a lot of guts.” Considering how much he hated all the emotional stuff that came with relationships, she knew it had taken a mountain to get him to this point.
“And Devyn daring me to make things work with you. To make things right again.”
“Good for Devyn.” She must remember to thank him. After she fussed at him for not telling her any of this. No wonder he’d been so cagey lately. There was more going on too with Devyn. Had been since right before Neo and Phil had gotten together with Rose’s help. But the usually chatty Devyn had been tight-lipped about what it was he was up to.
“Yeah.” He nuzzled against her head like a cat seeking affection. “Now I can say it again and again and again. I love you, Ally. I can shout it from the rooftops.”
She chuckled. “I just need to hear it said to me. Often. Or not often. Long as I hear it sometimes. And you show me.”
“Always.”
She lay back against him in the quiet of the bathroom for several seconds. Only sound she could hear was the ticking of a clock in her living room. So peaceful. Serene. The man she loved behind her, who loved her back. Nothing could be better than this.
Unless…
“So you know that night when my grandmother died and you held me all night long?” She stroked his arm from elbow to wrist. Such strong muscles. Even that part of him was so hard. Surprising other parts of him weren’t that hard right now. Maybe it was the hot water. Or maybe it was the fact he thought he had to give her comfort and not passion.
“Yeah.” He sounded so relaxed. So content. She’d never heard his voice without a nervous-energy edge before.
“You didn’t grope and you didn’t push me for sex.” It had been an odd night. She wouldn’t have expected that much caring from him either at that time. He’d given her just what she’d needed. He probably would again now. All she had to do was make her wishes known. He’d make her dreams come true. Like he had earlier tonight.
“Nope.” He sighed. “I was a good boy.”
“This isn’t one of those moments.” She waited for his reaction. Knowing Tucker, he’d jump her in the bathtub. Which she had no problems with.
He tensed against her. And something else popped up against her butt. “It isn’t?” Was it her imagination or did his voice sound hoarser than before?
“No, it’s not a moment like that. In fact, I think it’s a moment that needs groping. That needs sex.” She couldn’t help her smile. Good thing he couldn’t see her face. Or maybe he would enjoy seeing her this happy after the last few months. Because she hadn’t acted this way in a long time.
She could hear the anticipation in his voice. “Really?”
“Oh yeah.” She nodded furiously. “I think the moment at which you say, ‘I love you’ needs sex. Well, only if you’ve already been having sex. I mean…”
He tapped her on the shoulder, interrupting her rambling. Maybe she was a bit nervous. She’d had sex with Tucker many times, but never knowing that he loved her. This would be a new experience. “I don’t need convincing.” He pressed his hard cock into her butt. He never did.
She felt her insides melt.
He brought up his hand and stroked her chin as he turned her head toward him and planted a brutal kiss on her willing lips. It was forceful and captured her as if she needed the convincing. His tongue met hers in a blinding display of dominance as he rolled it around hers. It was a kiss that showed his urgency. Showed his need. And turned her insides into a volcano.
She broke off the kiss.
He let out a growl. He sounded like a bear. Or maybe a wolf. Some type of large beast.
She started to laugh and turned her head to face him. Any laughter died when she saw his face. It was one of passion and longing. And one she’d never seen before on him or anyone. She was mesmerized. And her entire being went to goo. This look was directed at her. Was about her. Nothing could make her want him more.
He grabbed her shoulders and urged her to twist around in the tub.
“What are you doing?” The water sloshed as she complied with his moving her. “I thought we were getting out…” She’d expected this though. That he wouldn’t be able to wait. No wonder they had such an active sex life. They’d been in love with each other.
“You thought wrong.” His voice was gravelly and strained. “Can’t wait. Need you now.”
His cock was certainly a testament to that. She wasn’t about to argue against him. She wanted this as much as he did. She turned to face him, and he lifted her up so that she sat, legs around him.
He looked at her with lust running from every pore. “Such a beauty. I don’t know where to start.” He licked his lips. He lifted himself and slipped over to her side of the tub. He laid his lips across hers in a claiming kiss that wasn’t as punishing as the last one. Instead it was more charming. More compelling. Less brutal. He kissed her leisurely. Slowly. Made it build.
Water moved against her as he slid a hand down her shoulder to her breast. She leaned into his touch. He cupped her, massaging in an upward motion before using one finger to circle her nipple and pinch it between two fingers.
She moaned, straightening out her legs. How could he do this to her? Make her so filled with passion in a nanosecond? All he had to do was touch her and kiss her, and she was his for the taking. It was like he knew where the button was to Ally Summers that made her more passionate than she’d ever been with any other man.
She should have known she was in love with him. Should have known she wanted more from him than he’d wanted to give. It could have saved them a lot of problems and Devyn’s helping. Hindsight was twenty-twenty. But he had given her what she needed. Because he loved her. So maybe it had worked out for the best.
She had him now.
That was all that mattered.
She shuddered and clawed at his back as he did the same to the other breast that he’d done to the first. Her entire body tingled with need and want.
He laughed against her lips as she bucked toward him. “Now who’s impatient?” He sounded as thrilled as she felt.
“I want you.” She did more than want him. She needed him. Always. And in the worst and best ways possible.
He slipped his hand down to her needy pussy and slipped a finger into her. The water moving across her was different. A turn on in a lot of ways. But it did wash away some of her juices. She wasn’t sure how that would impact a tryst in the tub. They’d never done this before. Good thing she had a large one or this would never work.
They could end up with all the water out of the tub and on her floor. She tried to care about that but couldn’t. It was just water. And it would dry.
He stroked her for several moments. Then he sat back against his side of the tub and pulled her up on his lap.
And somehow either her aim or his aim was off—or maybe it was true—because his cock slipped into her without any maneuvering on their parts. It was a surprise to them both.
They both drew in breaths at the unexpected contact.
She swallowed hard. She moved against him, taking him in a little deeper. God, was it just her or did he feel amazing inside her? She wanted more.
His body shook as his hands grasped desperately at her back as if for purchase. “No condom.” He froze, keeping his body still. “I was going to let the water out in a minute and grab one. I didn’t intend to go inside you.” They had stashes of them all over her apartment. He couldn’t pull away from her because she was on top, but he kept her from going against him any farther.
That he’d thought about that through the haze of his passion and was keeping himself at bay, warmed her heart. He was such a man. A real one. Not like so many phonies who tried to be macho. Tucker just was innately. “I’m on the pill. You know that.” She leaned up to nip at his chin. “I think the time has come to do away with the condoms.”
He breathed a sigh, and his body relaxed against hers. “Are you sure?” His voice was husky. Hoarse and strained. “I’m okay with getting one.” And he would be. Because that was Tucker. Maybe it had been about her more than she’d ever thought.
“Yeah. I am.” She hadn’t been with anyone else in forever and neither had he. They’d both been tested for anything a few months ago at their physicals. He’d made a big show of his clean bill of sexual health. In fact, it was probably still tacked on the fridge under one of her many magnets. They’d have to remember to take it down the next time anyone had dinner over there. That and wipe down the kitchen table…