Death Before Daylight (34 page)

“I can tell him if you want me to,” Jonathon
said.

I finally looked at my guard, the boy I had
met as a warrior, then, as a painter. He was more than a guard. He
was a friend, and he was Eric’s best friend. Of course he
understood why I couldn’t tell Eric. His mother had died that way.
Confessing to it to him would feel cruel.

“I was hoping I never had to tell him,” I
admitted, but it was no longer a possibility. The elders would know
in minutes, and asking them to hide it was just as cruel. “It isn’t
fair.”

Jonathon agreed. “But keeping it in isn’t
fair to you either.” A small smile pulled at the right side of his
lip. “I think Eric will understand more than you think.”

“But—”

He held up his hand again, but he took a
breath before he spoke, “Sometimes we hurt the ones we love, but
hurting ourselves to avoid it doesn’t make it better.”

My bottom lip trembled. “You say that like
you’ve been in love.”

“I have.”

I couldn’t tear my eyes from him. Even though
his face was one I saw every day, he was someone I barely knew.
Jonathon Stone held secrets, too.

“Maybe I’ll introduce you to her sometime,”
he added.

My mind raced. “You have a girlfriend?” The
thought hadn’t even occurred to me.

“Not exactly.” His face reddened. “It’s
rather complicated,” he paused, “but I think friendship is the
foundation of love.” He turned away from me for the first time all
night. “And if that’s the case, I very much love Eric, and you, and
Jada.” It was also the first time I heard him stumble over his
words. “The girl has grown on me.”

Jonathon had a crush on Luthicer’s
daughter.

“I cannot believe that.” A giggle escaped me,
and the lightness that took over my body felt foreign. My giggle
died, but Jonathon kept laughing.

“I told you it was complicated.”

I stared at the wall, trying to imagine
Jonathon’s life when he wasn’t around me, but nothing came. My
nerves were shaking, and the emotional turmoil of the day made it
impossible to daydream. “I didn’t even know you two spent time
together.”

“More than you’d like to know,” he admitted.
“Pretty much anytime I’m not with you.” He scratched his head. “I
was supposed to be training her.” He glanced over, and his eyes
were brighter, even his blind one. “I guess that’s how Eric and you
fell in love, too. Huh?”

My stomach fluttered at the reminder. When I
had seen Eric for the first time, he was Shoman, and I had been
terrified of him. It was only when I escaped his radar that I
realized I had to go back, and when I did, I fell slowly. I wasn’t
sure if it had happened when we were flying, or talking, or
training, but it had happened somewhere along the way. I remembered
every moment between us, and every moment felt more precious as
time passed. One year seemed so long ago.

“I’ll tell him,” I promised.

Jonathon patted my leg. “That’s a good
idea.”

“Is everything okay in here?” Bracke entered
the room. He looked between us, but didn’t step closer. “It got
quiet,” he explained and straightened. “I thought something was
wrong.”

I wiped my face again, even though the tears
were long gone. “Everything’s fine,” I said, “but there’s something
I should tell you, too.”

Bracke didn’t speak, and neither did Jonathon
as I explained it again. This time, it was easier. My voice shook
at certain parts, but I didn’t cry, and I didn’t feel like biting
back the truth. I only felt tired when it was over. Bracke’s fallen
expression made him look the same as I felt.

After a moment of silence, he asked, “Is
there anything I can do for you?” He never even mentioned his late
wife, or Eric, or any of the repercussions I had always worried
about. The Dark was there from the beginning, and they would
continue to be until the end.

There was one thing I wanted the most. “I
want to see my family.”

Bracke’s eyebrows lifted and fell. “You can
go.” He didn’t even hesitate.

“What?” I had expected an argument. “But we
aren’t allowed to leave—”

“We can’t protect you here. It would be wrong
to keep you any longer,” he interrupted, but his tone wasn’t the
one he had as a leader of the Dark. It was the one he used as
Eric’s father when he spoke to me about Eric’s mother. “I’ll drive
you myself.”

“Thank you.” I stood up, only to glance at
Jonathon once more. “Thank you for listening.”

He nodded. “I’ll keep my eye on your house,”
he said, “but I have something I have to do first.” He looked past
me to Bracke. “Can you watch the place until I get there?” I would
still have protection.

Bracke agreed. “Let’s go.”

I practically ran past them. As much as they
were my family, I wanted to see my real family, my parents who had
been with me since I was a baby. I wanted to hug them first, but
most of all, I wanted to be home.

45

The shelter calmed down in two hours, but
every minute felt like an entire night. Jada came and went, keeping
me informed as much as she could. She even snuck me out. It was
only then that I realized how much she was involved, how much time
she had spent in the shelter to understand the movements of the
elders. I went straight to Jessica’s room, but it was empty.

Almost all of her belongings were gone, and
the blood had been cleaned from the floor, but the room showed
signs of the struggle. Her easel was flipped over, and a canvas was
on the ground, facing down.

I had snuck the gift into her room a few
minutes before she moved in, but I never admitted to it. The car
she had bought me was sitting on her desk. I stared at it—at the
design I had painted on top—and I wondered if she had understood
the meaning I attempted to convey. Either way, she now knew the
jewelry kept me alive, and Darthon was still oblivious.

Even then, he wasn’t Jessica’s only enemy.
Ida, our own kind, had tried to murder her, and I had been right
down the hallway, unable to do anything.

I walked across the room, half-expecting the
recent death to be in the air, but the only eerie part was the echo
of my footsteps. I grabbed the painting without a single chill
running up my spine, but every part of me went cold when I flipped
the canvas over.

The blue streaks were the same hue of my
powers, and they melted across the trees. Even the leaves were a
shade of cobalt midnight only we knew. It was the night we met, but
it was from her perspective, and I was the centerpiece. My black
hair blended into the shadows behind me, but small wisps clouded
off my skin. The only bright part was my eyes, ice-blue stars in
the blackness.

“Thought I’d find you here.”

I spun around to face Pierce, but he was in
his human form. My grip tightened on the painting when I realized
no one was behind him. Jonathon and I were alone.

“Why aren’t you with her?” I asked.

“Relax.” He leaned against the doorframe like
relaxation was possible. “She’s okay,” he said, but his expression
said something else. It was twisted. “She went home.”

“What?” We weren’t supposed to leave.

“Bracke let her.” My father. “He’s watching
her now,” he explained, “but you should go see her.”

I wasn’t supposed to. On top of Darthon’s
orders to stay away, I had received the same ones from her. Neither
wanted me in her life, and for once, I worried that she would go
back to him. I had two hours to think about it. She had hid her
Light powers from the Dark for a reason. She was afraid we would
hurt her, and we had promised we wouldn’t. Now, the promise was
broken.

“You need to talk to her,” Jonathon
continued.

“She didn’t want me.”

“She does,” he argued. “She just didn’t know
it at the time.”

I stared at my best friend. Only a few hours
ago, we were laughing. The memory was now a mirage, but his fallen
expression deepened my fear. Something had gone terribly wrong,
something beyond Ida’s death.

“You know something.” The words slipped out
of me.

“You need to hear it from her,” he confirmed
as he started transporting away. “Come on.”

46

When I made it home, my parents didn’t even
realize I had been missing, but a part of them must have. I
recognized the confusion in my mother when she started cooking my
favorite dinner—chicken Alfredo—and I saw it in my father when he
put his book down to talk to me. They could sense it.

I watched them laugh and eat in-between more
laughs. I didn’t talk a lot, even when they asked me to, because I
just wanted to listen. I never wanted to forget what either of
their voices sounded like, what they looked like, how they loved
one another.

The only time I did speak, I asked them where
they met, and my mother blushed. I couldn’t remember the last time
I had seen her face flushed, and my father’s mirrored hers when
they met eyes.

“A rafting trip,” my dad explained as he
draped his arm over her shoulders.

She leaned against him like he was her
favorite place in the world. “On a little river east of here.”

A river. Just like Eric and me.

“We should all take a trip there this
summer,” my dad added. “It would be fun to get out.”

“That old place?” My mother giggled—actually
giggled—and she flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder.

“Why not?” My father moved the only strand
she missed out of her face, and I stared at them as if I were
seeing them as teenagers, young, in love, completely oblivious that
they would, in fact, end up together. “It’d be fun. Right,
Jessie?”

“Yeah,” I agreed and stood up. Four months
would pass between now and the summer, but making the plans made
the possibility seem attainable. “That would be fun.”

My mother’s brown eyes moved across me as she
stepped away from my dad. “Are you going to bed?”

I didn’t want to, but my sleepiness was
taking over. “Yeah.”

“Don’t stay up too late on the phone,” my dad
joked. Even he knew I almost never used it. In fact, I wasn’t even
sure where it was.

“I won’t,” I promised before I crossed the
kitchen. I wrapped my arms around both of them, barely able to hold
onto them together, but they hugged me back. “I love you.”

“Oh, Jessie.” My mother patted my head before
I broke away from them. Her frown lines, for once, were defined by
a small smile. “You okay?”

I nodded. “I will be after I sleep.” It
wasn’t a complete lie, but it was half of one, and I knew that was
just as bad. I wanted to sleep and dream of a day I could tell them
what I was. A shade. A light. Whatever I was, I wanted them to
know.

“Then, get some rest.” My dad pushed my
shoulder lightly, something he had done since I was a kid. He
always did it when I hesitated, and I always stopped hesitating
afterwards. “You have school in the morning.”

“I know.” I didn’t want to think about it.
Seeing Zac or Robb, or the others, was beyond me. “I’ll see you
guys in the morning.”

“Good night.”

I called it back at them as I rushed out of
the kitchen and ran up the stairs. I didn’t stop running until I
reached my bedroom, and I froze in the doorway when I opened
it.

Eric—in his human form—was standing right in
front of me, but his powers lingered in the air. He had transported
inside, and the sparks of the Dark energy flooded my veins. No
matter how tired I had been, the powers rejuvenated me.

We locked eyes, but we didn’t speak as I shut
the door behind me. I locked it before I pressed my back against
the wall. Even though my bedroom didn’t have a single light on, I
could see him. My eyes adjusted. His human complexion was unlike
his shade one. It was tan and alive, and his cheeks reddened as he
fiddled with his shirt.

“Sorry for intruding,” he whispered.
“Jonathon knows I’m here.” His voice leapt up an octave. “And I
wanted to see you. I had to see you,” he choked on the last
word.

My guard was back in place. Even though I was
home, I was being watched. Eric, too. None of us would be free
until it was over. Until another person died. Until Eric killed
someone just as I had. I knew that now, but I didn’t want to know
it. I didn’t want him to know what it was like.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

I nodded. “Sorry for asking for
Jonathon.”

Eric took one step, and I watched his feet as
he took another one, inching closer and closer to me. I was
motionless until he was right in front of me. I moved to him, and
his arms were around my torso before I took another breath.

“It’s okay.” His hand curled and uncurled
against my spine. “I’m just glad you’re okay.” His words were right
against my ear.

My forehead pressed into his shoulder. “Did
Jonathon tell you?”

Eric paused to move back, and I half-expected
him to confess to it, but he didn’t. “Not a word.” He never looked
away from me. “He said I should ask you myself.”

Jonathon had kept his promise, even though
the promise was to keep a secret from his best friend.

I grabbed his hand, and I pulled him across
the room to sit on my bed. I didn’t want my knees to shake when I
told him. I didn’t want to find an excuse to keep it inside
anymore, and Eric sat down next to me like he understood.

We sat beside each other, facing the wide
window, and I stared at the sky as he leaned against me. Sitting
next to Eric was different than sitting with Jonathon. Eric held my
hand. His thumb moved across my skin, and when goose bumps traveled
up my arm, Eric stopped holding my hand so he could rub them
away.

I told him.

I explained every little moment, from the
second Fudicia entered my room, to the confessions she gave, to the
dinner, to Darthon torturing him in front of me. He already knew
most of it, but I didn’t stop at the torture this time. I explained
how I saw the knife at the last second, how it felt when I stabbed
myself, how it was worse when I woke up.