And the Lady, presumably, possessed the power.
Deborah chuckled suddenly. “All that fooling around on the side! Plus there’s an elf in the family tree somewhere. Ruben’s forebears were frisky folks. I’m looking forward to teasing him about that.”
The oven timer dinged. Isen pushed back from the table. “No, no, sit down,” he told José, who’d started to rise. “I’ll feed my daughter-to-be.”
Lily looked at Deborah, curious but cautious. “You seem pretty okay with all this. With Ruben turning into a lupus.”
Deborah met her eyes. “He was dying. Now he isn’t.”
“He . . . dying?” Ruben had said there was damage to his heart. That’s why he wasn’t going to head the Unit—the regular Unit—anymore. He hadn’t said
dying
.
Deborah smiled slightly. “He thinks I don’t know. As if he could keep something like that from me by simply not saying it out loud! But yes, he expected to die, and fairly soon, I think. Now he’s lupus. Lupi don’t get sick, don’t have heart trouble. That was the other reason I came here.” She nodded at Isen’s broad back, bent now to remove the pans of corn bread from the oven. “To find out if that was true. It is.” She rested her folded hands on the table. “ Am I okay with Ruben becoming lupus? There’s a lot about it that scares me, a lot I don’t like or don’t understand or both. But none of it matters as much as this: Ruben was dying. Now he isn’t.”
LILY
was served homemade chili and corn bread by a barefoot multimillionaire with a dishtowel stuck in the waist of his jeans. Then Isen called all of the guards who were present but not on duty to join them. The kitchen got crowded. Some of them had to eat standing up, but that didn’t seem to bother them.
It was early for supper, but the food was ready, and lupi were almost always ready for food. Especially when it was steaming hot corn bread and crazy-good chili made with chunks of meaty chuck instead of ground beef.
Deborah seemed to have forgotten she was shy. Probably being immersed in an ongoing crisis helped, but mostly it was Isen. Lily was willing to bet Deborah had relaxed beneath the weight of that gentle, implacable charm within the first five minutes. He kept her talking throughout dinner.
Yesterday had been a rough day for Deborah. After watching her husband turn into a wolf and try to eat her, Drummond had taken her to Headquarters for questioning. When Deborah was finally allowed to return home, her parents had been lying in wait. They thought she should move in with them, and offered to help find a good divorce lawyer. There’d been a fight. No one was speaking to anyone else.
Lily made another mental note:
call parents as soon as finished eating.
“I hope you’re able to patch things up.”
“My family fights very politely,” Deborah said. “They didn’t actually say terrible things about Ruben, but everything they didn’t put into words shaped what they did say. I, on the other hand, wasn’t feeling polite. I’ll be expected to apologize. I don’t believe I will.”
Lily believed her. Could it be that Deborah’s parents had never noticed that beneath their daughter’s soft exterior lay solid, stubborn granite? If so, they were in for a rude awakening. “Where do you want to be?” she asked suddenly. “Is your home comforting right now, or too empty, or ... it may not be safe to stay there.”
“I have mentioned that possibility,” Isen said blandly. “She didn’t care for any of the alternatives I could suggest.”
“It’s my home,” Deborah said. “And yes, it feels empty without Ruben, but I’m not going to stay with my parents.”
“Understandable,” Lily said, “and not what I had in mind. You might consider that your decision affects the lupi who are guarding you.”
“But they were there for Ruben, not . . . oh.” Deborah was stubborn, not stupid. Lily watched her chew it over and realize that Ruben’s absence didn’t mean his enemies would give her a free pass. She was still a tool they could use against him. “I don’t see where I can go that would be better.”
“I was thinking of Fagin’s place.”
“I . . . that . . .” Deborah closed her mouth, thought it over. “If the elemental lets me in, you mean?”
“I’m playing a hunch here, but you can communicate with elementals pretty well, from what you said.”
“Oh, yes, that part’s easy enough. It’s worth trying. I wouldn’t need guards there, would I? I’d have to ask Fagin first, of course.”
Lily had a few things to ask him, too. “I’ll go with you, if that’s okay.”
“Tomorrow,” the Rhej said calmly as she pushed back her plate. “You need another eight, ten hours sleep. My, that was good, Isen, José. Thank you.”
Lily looked at her, surprised. “I’m healed now, remember? And I just got up from a four-hour nap.”
“And I’m guessin’ you didn’t sleep much last night.”
“No, but—”
“You’ll see.” The Rhej smiled in an annoyingly knowing way. “All that healing took a lot out of you. Stress kept you awake, I guess, at that jail, but your body wants more than the bit of sleep you gave it. You’ll crash again soon.”
She would not. There was too much to do.
“There’s something I’m wondering,” Deborah said in her soft voice. “Isen says Ruben won’t be trying to fight the Wythe wolves the way he did Scott. They’ll smell right to him, like friends.”
“They’ll smell like they’re his,” Isen corrected gently. “A wolf doesn’t smell clan and think
friend
. He thinks
us
. He feels a deep sense of belonging. This new wolf will feel that belonging, but because he is Rho, instead of
us
he will think
mine
.”
Deborah nodded seriously. “And you said Ruben is all wolf right now, so that’s how he’s thinking. Like a wolf who’s a Rho and so he’s in charge.” Her smile peeped out. “That part’s not such a change. Ruben always feels like he’s in charge. Not in a smothering way, but like he’s a shepherd with a really large flock who is also responsible for the landscape as a whole. Only he feels that even more now, being a Rho?”
Isen nodded. “Not in a smothering way, like you said. He feels responsible for those who are his clan.”
“Then why did he submit to Rule? You said earlier that Rule couldn’t use his mantle to make Ruben submit any more than Ruben could use his to make Rule submit. So it wasn’t the mantle that made Ruben submit. He did it on his own. That’s what I don’t understand. He’s not exactly submissive.”
“Ah.” Isen nodded. “I can see why that’s confusing. Humans do see submission and dominance differently than we do. Perhaps for now you could accept that submitting doesn’t make us submissive.”
“That’s for sure,” Lily said. “I’ve seen Rule submit, and it sure didn’t turn him submissive.” Isen had given her enough food for two people—or one lupus. She couldn’t finish it, but maybe one more bite of corn bread . . . she dabbed a bit of butter on a small chunk. “But there’s a whole language of submitting. They do it for lots of reasons other than establishing who’s in charge. It’s how they acknowledge a fault, settle a dispute, seal a deal between clans—all sorts of things.”
A slight frown lingered between Deborah’s eyebrows. “But Ruben didn’t know any of the—the cultural context about submitting, and he did it anyway. He agreed to let Rule be in charge.”
“He didn’t know much of anything at the time. That was the problem. But he knew Rule could beat him and he knew Rule would take care of him. That was enough.” She popped the bite in her mouth. She’d better stop now or . . . why were all the men in the room beaming at her that way? “What?”
Isen patted her hand. “You’ve learned a lot since you first came to us. We’re pleased. And now, I fear, it’s time for me to go. Pete, if you’d bring the car in front?”
Pete left. There was a bit of bustle as the rest of the lupi leaped to their feet and started bussing the dishes and Deborah tried to help. Lily took advantage of the noise to say to Isen, “I’ll walk you to the door.”
He slid her an opaque smile and told José to put on a little dish-washing music so he could have a private word with Lily. José plugged his phone into a player on the counter and they were all treated to Led Zeppelin.
Lily shook her head at Isen. “That was way less subtle and devious than I expect from you.”
“I’m a flexible man. Sometimes the straightforward way works best. You wished to escort me to the door?”
Together they headed for the front of the house. “Are you driving to New York State, then?”
“My route and means are complicated. The Mercedes has GPS, which is potentially trackable. That reminds me. Benedict tells me it’s possible to track my location through the GPS on my phone, so I’ll keep it turned off. Cullen has made sure Rule’s phone is off, also.”
She should have thought of that. Why hadn’t she thought of that?
Because she was used to being the one using government resources, not the one trying to dodge them. “How will I reach you?”
“Benedict keeps a stock of untraceable, prepaid phones on hand. I brought two with me. I’ m told these phones don’t roam well away from large cities, but having two networks to choose from may help. These are the numbers.” He stopped as they reached the parlor and handed Lily a slip of paper. “I’m glad you wanted a word with me. I wished to speak with you privately, also.”
“Oh?”
He smiled. “So wary—and rightfully. I’m offering advice, which is annoying of me, but I hope you’ll listen anyway. Has Rule seemed edgy lately? Unusually so?”
“That was a question, not advice.”
“And one you don’t care to answer, which of course is an answer of sorts. Lily, you know that we are protective of women. You’ve been in danger often since you and Rule mated. He has dealt with this so beautifully that you may not understand how powerful this instinct is for a lupus with a Chosen. I believe he’s been able to handle risk to you for two reasons. First, he knows and accepts that, being who and what you are, you will risk yourself when there is need. His wolf helps him with this,” he added. “Wolves don’t see their mates as pups to be cosseted and protected, but as partners—in the hunt, in a fight, they act together.”
She had to smile. “So it’s his wolf side, not the human one, I should thank?”
“Perhaps.” He smiled briefly. “But there is another reason. I suspect that on some level, whether he was aware of it or not, Rule has believed you would survive because the Lady would protect you.”
“That’s . . . not very reasonable.”
He sighed. “As a boy, Rule idealized the Lady. It comes of having been mothered by many, but abandoned by the woman who actually bore him. Young boys often feel a fervent love for their mothers. Rule loved the many women at Clanhome who helped raise him, but not that way. His mother-bond was with the Lady . . . or his boyish understanding of her.”
“So you’re saying he has mother issues.”
“That’s one way to put it, yes.”
And Lily was at risk now because of the Lady. Because of what Rule’s mother figure was doing with the mantle. “You haven’t gotten to the advice part.”
“Rule’s wolf still accepts and expects your need to be part of any necessary fights. But Rule the man grew out of that boy who idealized the Lady. He may not be reasonable about your safety. Be patient with him. You can’t fix this for him. You can’t be less than an equal partner. But you can be patient.”
It sounded like fortune cookie advice. That didn’t make it bad advice—just annoyingly vague. The rest of what he’d said, though . . . Isen knew people. He knew his son. She nodded slowly. “I’ll keep all that in mind.”
“Good.” He squeezed her shoulder. “Now, are you going to tell me what’s hurting you?”
“I’m not harboring any secret troubles. Just the obvious ones.”
“No?”
“I am curious about something.” It wasn’t what she’d meant to ask him about when she finagled this semiprivate moment, but... “When lupi hear moonsong, is it the Lady you hear? Her voice?”
He took his time answering. Finally he said, “This question is difficult for me to answer. We don’t usually speak of our personal experience of moonsong.”
“I’ve trespassed.”
“No.” He added a pat of his hand to his reassuring smile. “We don’t speak of it because the experience is intensely personal, so I don’t know if others would answer as I do. For me, it is not a voice, yet it is the Lady’s song. The moon is her instrument, or perhaps she is the moon’s instrument.”
“You don’t hear her in words.”
“No. If light were music, it might sound something like moonsong. One thing I know is common to all lupi. We don’t hear moonsong with our ears, yet it is very much heard, not sensed in some other way.”
Yes. Yes, that’s what it was like. Something ripped and words came spilling out. “I never wanted to be Rho. That would’ve made a mess of my life I don’t even want to think about. So I didn’t want to keep the mantle. I don’t need to turn into a wolf. I’m happy with who I am. Only I guess I’ll never hear her voice again, and that . . .” She blinked fast. Dammit. She was not going to cry. “I guess it’s pretty wonderful to hear moonsong all the time.”