Deceit: A Beauty and the Beast Novel (19 page)

“No mist,” I said, stepping forward to touch
him. The mist disappeared instantly. His angry eyes swept me from
head to toe.

“You look tumbled,” he said, his growl
garbling his words.

“Windblown from the race home.”

“Home,” he sighed and closed his eyes.

“Why are you so upset?”

He opened his eyes, his gaze sweeping over
me.

“That is not the dress I gave you.”

“Of course it is. It was in the
wardrobe.”

He exhaled slowly.

“Rose replaced the dress I had with this.”
He gestured at my dress. “When I discovered the change...what man
who saw you in this would let you go?”

The insecurity behind his words made me ache
for him, and I realized something vital that I’d overlooked. I’d
protected my body from him but not my heart. And while I wasn’t
watching, he’d touched it, leaving me marked by his gentle caring.
I could no longer imagine my life without the beast.

I stepped close and rested my hand on his
chest.

“No man can capture me, only a beast.”

He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed
the palm while his heated gaze searched my face. Was he so unsure
of my loyalty?

With a hammering heart, I shrugged one
shoulder, easing the sleeve down to expose the top of my breast.
His gaze drifted down and stayed riveted on my skin. My nipples
reacted, and I knew that he saw. He lifted a finger and traced the
outline.

I closed my eyes and pressed my hand over
his, holding him to my breast.

“No man,” I said again. “Only a beast.”

A pained sound escaped him, and he picked me
up again and brought me to my room, gently laying me on my bed.

This time wasn’t slow and teasing. He tore
the dress from me and latched onto the peak of my right breast,
suckling roughly. Each pull sent a sizzle of desire straight
between my legs. He shifted his attention to the other breast. I
sighed with pleasure and threaded my fingers in his fur. His mouth
nibbled a quick trail down, and his fingers dug into my thighs as
he spread me wide. His breath tickled me for a heartbeat then his
tongue laved me from opening to curls. Again and again, a long,
slow stroke that had my hips twitching. When he closed his lips
over my nub and suckled, I moaned.

“Yes,” I whispered, liking the feeling.

My tension coiled higher as he tongued my
opening, licking and sucking as I thrust my hips to meet his
plunge. I felt wild, uncontrolled. My legs stiffened, but his hands
kept me wide. His mouth found my nub again to suck and flick. A cry
burst from me as the tension broke in a torrent of fried nerve
endings. I convulsed under his mouth, enjoying each pulse.

Finally, the sensation faded, and my hands
fell to the mattress. What felt like hours of pleasure, took only
minutes.

As before, he left me. This time, I fell
asleep, legs spread wide and still dangling off the mattress.

* * * *

I woke snuggled against him. He kissed me
softly but didn’t touch me any further.

“Good morning,” I whispered shyly. He’d
tasted me twice, but this was the first time I’d actually faced him
afterward.

“Good morning,” he rumbled, combing his
fingers through my unfettered hair.

I frowned at the feeling.

“Did you remove the braids?”

“I did...after I returned.”

I blinked, understanding his meaning. “I’m
sorry it didn’t work.”

He grunted then surprised me.

“It didn’t work because I don’t want it to
work. I refuse to play her game any longer. I am content to stay as
I am...if you will stay with me. Marry me,” he said quietly.

My heart expanded at his unexpected
proposal, and I knew I wanted nothing more than to say yes. Yet, I
knew I could not. His revulsion of Rose held my tongue. Enchanted,
he would never age; and one day, he would hold me in as much
contempt as he did Rose. My heart broke at the thought, and I
struggled to find the right answer to appease him.

I sat up, and he moved off the bed to watch
me.

“I will leave something for your husband. I
will leave you a virgin.” He bent to a knee and placed a kiss on my
bare stomach. “Will you marry me?” he repeated.

My heart jumped and fluttered in excitement
despite my best efforts to quell it. If I married him, he would
be
my husband.

“Well, that’s a convenient way to get around
it, isn’t it?”

He grinned, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I
thought so.” He remained on his knee. “And your answer?”

“I can’t marry you,” I said softly. After a
hard swallow, I gave him the only reason I could speak aloud. “When
I think of you, I have only these titles in my head: sir, master,
liege lord, and beast. Where in there is your real name? I know too
little about you.”

He stood and nodded, surprisingly calm with
my answer. Holding out a hand, he helped me to my feet. His gaze
swept over me, bringing a light blush to my cheeks.

“Let’s spend today together,” he said.

“I need a moment first.”

He nodded and left the room.

As soon as the door closed, I collapsed back
onto the bed. What had I done? Somehow, along the way, I’d given
the beast my heart. He would surely crush it within his too
powerful grasp before he even realized he held it. Yet, I couldn’t
regret his keeping of my love. Because now, an imagined world
without the beast seemed a horrible, lonely place. I was where I
belonged.

After I relieved myself and washed, I went
to the wardrobe. It was completely empty again. I smiled and moved
to the door.

He waited for me in the hallway, as usual,
and held out a hand. I wrapped my fingers in his and followed him
to the library. A tray waited for us. He motioned for me to sit on
the couch and proceeded to feed me bits of fruit.

“My name is Alec. When I was four, my father
gave me my first horse, a pony really. I can barely remember what
it looked like but remember thinking it enormous, until Father and
I went on our first ride together.” He chuckled at the memory. “I
wish I could remember more of my life before he passed away.”

“What about your youth with your
mother?”

“After my father died, a large
responsibility fell to her. She didn’t have the advantage of a
teacher for a father and struggled to learn so much in those first
years. I didn’t understand it then, but I see it now. Back then, I
only knew that she was very busy.”

“What did you do when she wasn’t busy?” I
asked, not liking the sad look he had.

We spent the rest of the day talking about
our childhoods.

* * * *

On the fourth morning since my return from
the wedding, I ate in my room. The tray had been waiting for me
beside my bed, and I knew he had slept with me at least a portion
of the night. However, like the morning before, I woke alone.

Though we spent a good portion of our days
together, and I remained naked, he had yet to touch me again.
Instead, he spent his time telling me of his past, good and bad. I
felt compassion for the lonely little boy he’d been but had a hard
time understanding the selfish man he’d become. Though his mother
had been busy, she’d loved him deeply.

I understood that he told me stories of his
past so I could better know him, yet it didn’t achieve his purpose.
Those stories told me who he had been and gave some insight into
how he’d become enchanted. Yet, they didn’t tell me a thing about
who he was now and what his hopes for the future might be. There
were still so many questions I wanted to ask him. What did he like
eating? What had he done to entertain himself since becoming
enchanted? What had he thought the first time the villagers stormed
the estate?

When I finished the food, I washed and left
the room. Though we spent much time together, he excused himself
often to work in his study. I didn’t bring up the subject of my
missing clothes, which I knew was the source of his need for
distraction. I didn’t want to diminish what he was achieving.
Control over himself, regardless of the circumstance.

As I expected, I found him in his study,
head bent over the estate records. He read them often, now. He even
had pages of notes. Presently, he scratched something on a piece of
parchment, lost to his thoughts.

“Good morning,” I said from the door.

“Good morning.” He lifted his gaze from his
ledger to greet me but quickly returned to his reading.

“I was wondering...why did you spare
me?”

“What do you mean?” he asked, maintaining
his focus on the book before him.

“In the beginning, the first time you threw
me over, I wasn’t surprised by the net that caught me. The second
time, I thought perhaps I’d just gotten lucky. But after...what was
your reason?”

He looked up again and studied me with a
peculiar expression.

“You didn’t beg or stammer excuses. You
accepted your fate but not with defeat.”

Such a simple thing had saved me?

“Why did you offer me any one thing from the
estate?”

A tension crept into his shoulders, and he
looked down at his ledger again.

“Why are you asking so many questions?”

“I’m trying to know you better.”

He sighed, and I knew he would answer.

“I wanted to give you a reason to
return.”

“And I did,” I said with a smile.

“You did,” he agreed solemnly. “The night
you asked for refuge, I watched you try to start the fire. You
worked calmly, despite the shivers shaking your hands. You didn’t
ask for help or balk at the task like other women I’d known. It
upset me.”

His admission surprised me.

“You wanted me to balk and ask for help?” I
asked.

“No, after watching you, I wanted to keep
you. But you’d only asked for refuge. So, I left you to see if your
father had returned.”

“Why did you want to keep me?”

“You ask too many questions,” he said
without rancor.

“Is that why you sent the trunk? To lure me
back?” I smiled at him, though he wasn’t looking at me. “Blye was
quite interested in the cloth. I wonder how you would have fared
with her.”

He grunted, and I knew I’d amused him.

I left him to his work, knowing that I’d
bothered him enough. I studied the bookshelves. Unsure what I
wanted to read, I wandered for a bit. A lower shelf near the door
caught my attention, and I bent to study the titles.

Something thumped to the floor in the study.
I straightened and looked over my shoulder. The beast leaned over
his desk, completely focused on me. On the floor before the desk
was the estate book he’d just had open.

“Benella, dearest, please pick a book from
the other side of the room,” he said slowly.

I frowned for a moment. Why would he want me
to...I recalled Ila bending in front of me to pet the cat. Before
the threatening grin could burst forth, I nodded and moved out of
his line of sight. Then, I grinned foolishly.

* * * *

A week later, I was feeling decidedly
ignored and very unsure of myself. He’d stopped coming to my room
at night and disappeared constantly; now, going so far as closing
himself in the study.

I paced the library, trying to understand
the turn in his behavior. It had started before Bryn’s wedding. The
first time he’d...I blushed and stopped my pacing to stare at the
barred study. I’d thought his avoidance then might have meant we’d
done something wrong, but he’d said we hadn’t. Yet, his current
actions seemed to suggest otherwise. Why else completely avoid me
if not out of guilt?

Frustrated, I went and knocked on his
door.

“Sir?” I still couldn’t bring myself to use
his given name.

“Yes,” came his muffled answer. “Enter.”

I walked in. As usual, he didn’t look up. I
nervously sat in a chair.

“I don’t understand,” I said.

That caught his attention. With a hint of
worry, he looked up.

“What, dearest?”

“You said I didn’t need to apologize, and
you seemed to like tasting me. But you’ve stopped touching me
completely. You don’t look at me. You barely speak to me. I don’t
understand why.”

He focused on his papers.

“Benella, now is not the best time for me to
talk about—”

“Was it wrong? Are you ashamed of what we
did? Should I be ashamed?” I couldn’t get the image of Sara’s shame
from my head.

He stood abruptly and walked around the
desk.

“No, Benella,” he said, kneeling before me.
“What we did should not cause you shame. I’m trying very hard to
distract myself from thinking of those moments with you because I
want to do it all again. But, I don’t think I can taste you again
and stop.” He touched my face gently. “I want all of you. Please
say you’ve reconsidered and will marry me.”

I looked down at my hands, reflecting on
what he’d just said. My fear remained. He would want me today or
even ten years from now but certainly not beyond that. So I gave
him the same answer as before.

“I know quite a bit about the old you, but
still very little about who you are now. I know nothing about your
hopes for the future beyond your desire to be free of the
curse.”

“The answer is still no, then.”

Miserably, I nodded.

“May I please have clothes?”

He remained silent until I met his gaze.

“They are in your room.”

Chapter 11

Once I wore proper clothes, he spent more
time with me. We talked for hours of inconsequential things and
idled away our time with whatever struck our fancy. He no longer
used his mist, and his growl was completely absent. I cherished
each day spent with him but found time passed too quickly in his
entertaining and courteous company. When each evening arrived, it
always felt as if the sun had just risen.

At his insistence, I began to sleep in a
plain white gown that stayed on me all night. He still came to my
bed and held me while he rested, but only joined me once I already
slept. When I woke, he was already gone, waiting for me in the
hallway, ready to start a new, companionable day.