Deceived (19 page)

She swallowed hard. His words were so sweet, so gentle, so romantic that she could hardly breathe or think or respond. Yet she knew she must.

“But—but why did you do it?” she asked, needing to hear that answer. Needing to know what had driven him as much as she needed breath or light or peace.

He locked eyes with her, the dark brown holding her hostage without even a flicker of hesitation. “Because I wanted you. And here is the part that may make you hate me.”

She caught her breath. Hate him? “What part?”

He cleared his throat. “I could have said no to you last night when you wanted to make love in the parlor. I could have pleasured you in some other way. Or set you aside and ended this affair as I should have many times. But I didn’t, Josie. Now, part of that was because the passion between us addled my mind. My body wanted what it wanted and that powerful need overrode reason. But another part was also there. I took you because in some way I wanted it to come to this.”

“This?” she asked.

“This moment where I am standing before you, asking you to marry me, Josie.”

He moved forward again at last and Josie almost sagged with relief as he reached for her hand. When he took it, warmth spread between them, up her arm, over her body. It was the heat of her desire, yes, but it was also the warm comfort of home. Of everything she had ever wanted and feared she’d never have.

It was, she realized in a flash, the undeniable embrace of love. She loved him.

With a gasp, she looked up into his face. His handsome, angular face. She loved everything about it, from the soulful depths of his brown eyes to the dimple that popped in his cheek whenever he laughed. She loved him.

Which was as terrifying as it was wonderful. And yet she wasn’t afraid. She was calm and accepting of that feeling. As if it had always been a part of her, even if she hadn’t fully recognized it.

She swallowed because she knew he was awaiting some kind of response. Slowly, she recalled how to form words and said, “You think you wanted to trap yourself?”

He shook his head. “Not trap. Please stop saying trap, for it implies I’m unhappy to be here. What I’m saying is that somewhere deep inside of me, I wanted this, Josie. I made it happen through my actions. And I’m
not
sorry.”

He lifted her hand to his mouth and pressed a warm kiss to her knuckles. She shivered at the gentleness of the caress, the way he held her gaze while he did it.

“Evan—” she whispered.

“I care for you, Josie,” he interrupted.

She hesitated. Cared for her. Not loved her as she did him, but perhaps that would be foolishly asking for too much. Caring for her was very good
, more
than she had ever hoped to ask for.

“You do?”

He nodded. “Indeed, I do. So I am asking you again if you would be my wife.”

Every word that had come out of his mouth had been said with such passion, such honesty. But she still hesitated. Because she wasn’t sure. Because the future he offered her was so wonderful and terrifying at once.

He tugged her a little closer so that she was pressed against his chest. She could feel his heartbeat and it was fast, like he was nervous.

“You know it is the right thing to do,” he said, his voice low and rough. “And not because of honor, but because we both want to do a lot more of what we did last night. Because we both know it could be a happy life.”

She swallowed. How could she deny him when everything he said was just putting words to her greatest hopes?

“But—but I hate you,” she whispered.

He smiled. “Do you now?”

“Yes.”

He leaned in and pressed his forehead to hers. “Yes you hate me or yes you’ll marry me?”

Now it was her turn to smile even though she was shaking. “To both,” she said.

He said nothing, he declared no more. He simply dipped his head and kissed her. She lifted into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck, opening for him as he tasted her, surrendering herself and her future to his care. For now. And for always.

“And so we are engaged!” Evan felt Josie’s hand tighten on his bicep as the words left his mouth.

For a moment, the gathered group of his family, her mother and Miss Gray all stared at him, then her, then him again. Josie continued to smile, but he saw the paleness of her skin increase, the light in her eyes begin to fade.

But then the surprise passed and his mother rose from her seat slowly. “How wonderful!” she burst out as she crossed the room and embraced Josie. “But what a surprise!”

The entire room became a hubbub of happy activity, with felicitations exchanged and everyone talking at once. Over the throng, he heard Josie’s mother admit, “I fear I knew. After all, we did ride over here together.”

The mothers began to laugh and their heads immediately went together, likely chatting about the wedding plans soon to come. Evan’s attention went to Gabriel. He watched as his brother approached Josie and said something softly to her. She smiled, but the nervousness was still in her gaze. Then Gabriel moved to him. Their eyes locked, but Gabriel said nothing, only shook his hand slowly.

Perhaps his brother would have talked to him then, would have brought up the concerns that were bright in his eyes, but before he could, Evan’s attention was brought elsewhere. Quietly, Josie slipped from the parlor through the terrace door.

His stomach sank. Being the center of attention had never been a good thing for his future bride. It was clearly hard for her to accept it even now.

He moved to intercept her, to follow her, but before he got three steps away from his brother, there was a soft hand on his forearm. He glanced down to find Mrs. Westfall standing at his side.

“We didn’t have time to speak privately once you and Josie gave me your news and we flitted straight here,” she said. “Your mother and brother are now talking and it seems Josie has gone outside, so perhaps we could take a moment?”

Evan glanced again toward the terrace. He knew Josie was outside, and he guessed she was not out there because she was happy or comfortable, but he didn’t know how to refuse her mother’s request without seeming rude.

“Of course,” he said, motioning toward the other side of the parlor where they would have a bit of privacy. “Come.”

She followed where he led and smiled up at him. “I have always liked you, my lord.”

“Evan,” he said. “Just Evan now that we are to be family.”

Her smile faltered a little. “That is what I must ask you about. Your relationship with my daughter has come on very, er, quickly.”

He pursed his lips. “Yes,” he agreed slowly.

“She has not always had a very easy time,” her mother said, a shadow crossing her face. “Perhaps I should have done more, helped her, intervened when she was being mistreated.”

“We both have our regrets on that score,” he said softly.

Mrs. Westfall’s eyes went wide. “Do you?”

He nodded. “I may have inadvertently contributed to Josie’s pain,” he explained. “And though she has forgiven me, I find it harder to forgive myself.”

“Is that why you stood up for her at the ball last night?”

Evan stiffened. The ball last night seemed a hundred years away now, as did his defense of Josie against the cruelty of those around her. “Yes.”

“I am glad she has found a champion. But I admit I still have concerns.”

“Concerns?” he repeated. He was truly surprised about that. He would have thought Josie’s mother would be over the moon at her daughter’s engagement. After all, she had been pushing Josie to find a husband for years.

He found himself suddenly happy Mrs. Westfall’s earlier attempts had met with failure.

“It is hard, I think, for Josie to trust those around her.” Mrs. Westfall shook her head. “With good reason.”

“Yes.” Evan frowned as he thought of his ulterior motives when he first pursued Josie. What would she think if she knew his initial reason for approach was information regarding Claire, even though he had claimed otherwise?

“I’m sorry, I’m being silly, I’m sure. I only mean to say that I hope you will take care of my daughter. That you will be mindful of her emotions.”

“I will, Mrs. Westfall. I assure you I will do all I can to take the best care of her.”

His future mother-in-law looked at him, stared at him, and he felt her sizing him up. He wasn’t certain of what she decided upon, though, for she hid her reactions well. In the end, she just smiled.

“Good.”

Quickly she changed the subject and began chatting with him about wedding plans. But even as she spoke, his mind wandered to Josie on the terrace and if he would truly be able to keep his promise to protect her. From the world. And from himself.

Josie leaned on the top of the terrace wall with her forearms, staring out at the garden below. The warm breeze stirred her hair, the birds chirped happily around her, and yet she felt very disconnected from all she saw.

Her thoughts were just so tangled.

Back inside, everyone was talking about her wedding to Evan. But she had felt every second of their hesitation after the announcement of their betrothal. Perhaps none of them could believe a girl like her could catch a man like him. Perhaps even though they liked her well enough, they were trying to hide their shock, their feelings that she didn’t deserve him.

And if his family felt that way, she could only imagine the whisperings around London when word reached there.

“I’m sorry to disturb you…”

Josie turned at the feminine voice from behind her. The person who had intruded upon her reverie was Lady Woodley’s healer, Miss Gray. As the other woman shut the parlor door behind her, she smiled.

Josie returned the expression. The young lady was truly lovely, with dark red hair that was bound up properly, though the curls were undeniable and a few bounced around her face. She was pale and porcelain and slender, almost the exact opposite of Josie. Exactly what men liked in a woman.

And once again she wondered if Evan had ever noticed his mother’s healer, even though he had earlier claimed he hadn’t.

“Hello, Miss Gray,” Josie said. “You didn’t interrupt, I was just…just…”

“Getting some air?” the other woman offered helpfully.

Josie nodded. “Yes. That was it, exactly. And what about you?”

Miss Gray came to stand beside Josie. “I would claim I needed air as well, but I have the sense you would see through that assertion. In truth, I’m afraid I don’t belong inside.”

Josie wrinkled her brow. “Really? You seem like the sort of lady who would belong in any room she stumbled into.”

“Me? Heavens no. I’m just the healer. Now, Lady Woodley is wonderfully kind and welcoming, of course, but I’m little better than a servant. If I wasn’t always here, I doubt I would be involved in such family affairs.”

Josie laughed. “You are always here because they like you—they know you are the reason Lady Woodley lives.”

Miss Gray pursed her lips. “But Lady Woodley is much improved. I am always here because—” She broke off. “No.”

Josie leaned forward, her own feelings softened, at least for the moment, by her curiosity. “Why?”

Miss Gray looked over her shoulder, as if making sure they weren’t being watched. “I’m here because Gabriel is…oh, he is the most frustrating man and he insists I keep returning.”

Josie’s eyes went wide. She had not expected that answer, but perhaps she should have. Evan had been rather distracted of late, which probably did leave his younger brother to keep up the household. And Gabriel was well known for his meticulous nature, after all.

“Does he?”

Miss Gray scowled. “Yes, he is always checking my work and wanting me to do things differently.”

“
All
the Woodley men are terrible bothers, I assure you.”

Miss Gray stared at her. “You include your fiancé in that statement?”

“Especially my fiancé,” Josie laughed, though referring to Evan that way for the first time gave her a thrill. She shook her head. “What is your first name?”

“Juliet,” Miss Gray offered.

“Josie,” Josie returned. “And since we each seem to be tormented by Woodleys, I think we should be friends.”