Deceived (30 page)

“You knew, didn’t you?” I whirled around and faced Dorian. I turned all of the emotions I was feeling into anger and focused it on Dorian. “Did you think I didn’t know he’s killed before or was this some sick joke, some macabre way to knock sense into me? What did you and Holly think? If I saw her, I’d come to my senses and leave him?” I waited for Dorian to answer, but when he didn’t speak right away my anger grew. “
Tell me
!” I
yelled
.

Dor
ian stood and walked over to me
,
reaching out towards me
but when I flinched, he dropped
his arms
. “This was Holly’s doing. When you summoned the spirits, I did not know who killed them. But when the spirits appeared tonight and after meeting Aiden, I made the connection. I’m sure this was Holly’s way of making you see the type of person you’re dating. Or she thought it would be funny for you to sic Rosella on Aiden. I’m sorry it upset you, but I thought you should know should we end up using the spirits against the vampires,” Dorian paused for a few moments. “I did it because I didn’t want you caught off guard. I’m sorry it upset you
, but you’re not angry with me—“

“I’m not?” I interrupted.

“No, you’re mad because you’re a good person, Gwen. And seeing one of the women you’re boyfriend killed makes you feel guilty for being with him. You’re mad at yourself. If it makes you feel better, he killed her a long time ago.
It probably happened
when he just turned. New vampires are slaves to their bloodlust.”

We regarded each other in silence for what seemed like an eternity. My eyes welled with tears as I thought about all of the people Aiden might have killed over the years. I spent my life using my gift to catch killers, and now I was dating one. Aiden may not be that person anymore, but the thought did nothing to erase the fact he used to be.

Ignoring Dorian, I turned to the spirits and said, “Leave.”

One by one the apparitions disappeared. Without another look at Dorian, I stormed off and slammed my bedroom door where I fell onto my bed and cried. It may have been the stress of the past few weeks, or the fact Aiden’s ugly past had been shoved in my face, but once the tears began I couldn’t turn them off. I cried until sleep claimed me.

My heart clung to Aiden’s good side. The side that made me smile and sent a jolt of desire through my body. The way his eyes lit up when he looked at me and the look he got when he defended me. My heart grasped at the good parts of him like a life preserver while my mind analyzed if I could ever overlook the fact he’d killed innocents. Knowing something was not the same as seeing it. Was this enough to break up with Aiden? No. But would I look at him the same way? I hoped so. I wasn’t ready for my world to come crashing down, and if it did, I didn’t expec
t it to be at Aiden’s hands. We’d
dated for a month,
but
. We started in friendship that grew into something more substantial, and now that we were together, I couldn’t imagine being apart. Of course that was just my heart talking. My mind had the tendency to overthink things, to run them into the ground until I understood. There was no understanding this scenario. It happened a long time ago, before I was even born, but it still gnawed at my brain like a hungry zombie.

I don’t know how long I stayed in bed staring at the ceiling after I woke up. Glancing at my alarm clock, it was just after five. The sun would be setting, and the vampires would be here before long. I needed to collect my thoughts and tuck them away until I could speak with Aiden. How do you tell your boyfriend you chatted with a
woman he killed? Perhaps this was the reason why I never asked Aiden about his past. Deep down I knew what I’d find, and a part of me was afraid of how I’d handle it.

I felt stupid because I was upset over something that occurred so long ago and
it was a little late in our relationship to even question it.
Vampires kill people, plain and simple. Some do it for sport while others allow their thirst to override their willpower. But what bothered me the most was the fact I felt guilty for being with Aiden after meeting Rosella.
Dorian had been right. When I saw Rosella, her death and sadness soaked into me, causing my guilt to overflow. Meeting her and finding out Aiden was her killer made me feel like I was an insensitive person.

Two soft knocks on my door pulled me up into a sitting position.  Aiden walked in, his black hair disheveled and white snowflakes on his wool coat. Unlike Moon, Flora’s weather wasn’t altered. I loved the snow, but the circumstances suppressed any excitement I
might have had from
the sight of it. Aiden watched me
warily
, his eyes searching my face for something unspoken.

“Hey,” I said coolly.

He sat on the edge of my bed, placing his hands on either side of my face and his lips massaged mine, almost feverishly.
The normal desire I felt when he kissed me didn’t overwhelm my body. My mind was too confused to enjoy his kiss.

“I had to taste you one last time,” he whispered against my lips.

“What are you talking about?”
I sat back so I could look into his eyes.

Aiden grabbed my hand, his thumb rubbing circles on my skin.
His blue eyes
regarded me while his lips hesitated to speak
.
 
“Dorian told me what happened and how upset you were. I’m sorry you found out like this—.”

“It’s not exactly ground breaking news, Aid
en,” I interrupted.
“It did
upset
me to meet one of your victims.
I could feel her emotions like they were my own. She was so sad, but I’m not naïve. I know you’ve killed. I just never thought about it before.” I studied him for a few moments. “You and I are okay. It was
disconcerting
, but we’re good.”
I knew as soon as the words left my mouth that they were true. The interaction with Rosella had been upsetting but it wasn’t enough to ruin what Aiden and I had.

Seeing the worry on Aiden’s face eased my tension and
eased my mind.
He wasn’t that man anymore, the kind who went around killing innocent women. His eyes were so full of sorrow it almost broke my heart to look at him. Aiden wasn’t the mushy type who cried, but his eyes were glossy with
what looked like
unshed tears. “What’s wrong?” I squeezed his arm.

“Living over six hundred years, I’ve seen and done horrible things. Humans have the pleasure of dying and paying for their sins. Vampires live with them for centuries, sometimes millennia. I’ve learned to block those things out; otherwise they would drive me insane, but that’s not what’s bothering me. The way you looked at me, like I was a
monster, is more than I can bear.”
Aiden’s lips twitched as he thought about something. His eyes regarded me with something that resembled nervousness.
“That and the fact I’ve been keeping something from you for the past month, something that will change the way you think of me.”

I searched his face for the answer, but all I saw was regret and shame. My breath caught in my throat, my hands trembled, and my heart stopped as I waited for him to put me out of my misery.

“W-what is it?” My words stumbled over the lump in my throat while I fisted my sheets until my knuckles turned white.

“Something happened a month ago, and I can’t keep it from you any longer. It’s not easy, but I won’t make excuses for what I’ve done—“.

Aaron Larue stepped through my door, interrupting Aiden’s confession. “Is our lesson going to be in bed then?” he asked with a flirtatious smile.

I wasn’t in the mood to deal with a horny vampire who looked like he should be in high school. I also wasn’t in the mood to deal with Ian
Despereaux
, the NAWC, the VC or the plan. Aiden’s words were just another crack in the pretty picture I let my heart believe in. How many more fissures could it take before it all came smashing down around me?

“I’ll be out in just a moment. Aiden was just about to tell me something.” I kept my eyes glued to Aiden and was surprised Aaron didn’t demand my full attention. He left my room and the spotlight was back on Aiden.

“Tell me,” I said
through clenched teeth
. I’d spent the past three weeks trying to learn what Holly,
Kye
and Dorian were keeping from me. Now even Aiden had secrets.

“It was the time I was with Louis,” Aiden began and my heart sunk. “He fed me witches blood, and I drank it so he wouldn’t grow suspicious. I did it to help you with the case—I didn’t expect it to take ahold of my willpower so
sudden
. The addiction was powerful
.
It
was like
something I
never experienced before. It’s like your lungs needing air or your body needing water—absolute. After a single glass, I craved it like nothing else.”

My heart thudded against my ribcage, each time harder than the last as I listened to his words. Somewhere in my mind I knew what he was going to say, but my heart demanded I was wrong.

“Louis had a supply of low level witches on hand for those who liked to feed from the source. The witches were there on their own accord,
most were black magic witches.
One night, Louis invited over his crew and as a gift he gave each of us a witch of our own. We were told we could do whatever we wanted with them. My addiction was so strong
that
the thing I wanted to do was feed from her.”
Aiden ran a hand through
his hair, his eyes flicking towards me as he searched my face for my reaction.
“And that’s what I did until there wasn’t a drop left,” Aiden looked at me.

I stared back unmoving, except for the thud of my heart echoing in my eardrums.

“I’m telling you this because I love you, my Gwen. I don’t want you to be caught off guard or find out some other way. I was afraid to tell you, but I realize in order to keep you and earn your love, I have to be honest with you. This—”

“You killed a witch, drained her, while I was trying to stop Ian from doing the exact same thing? For
the past month
you’ve lied to me, acted
like everything was normal. You watched me help
the FPD and get summoned to Moon to aid in a war for this exact reason. You never said anything.”
I jumped up from the bed and paced my small bedroom.
“
What
about the night I broke your addiction? You couldn’t have mentioned you
killed
a witch
then
? My world has revolved around this mess for the past month and all along you were a part of it?”
I crossed my arms to keep
the view of my trembling hands hidden. As I watched Aiden it was like staring at a complete stranger. Had I fantasized his good qualities all along?

If Holly was witness to our argument, she’d be proud. My loyalty to my kind was called into question many times over the past month, but love
aside;
it wasn’t okay a witch died at the hands of my boyfriend, even a dirty witch as they are called. I didn’t care that the woman he’d drained was involved in black magic, she was a witch the same as me.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you. You’ve be
en so stressed over all of this
I didn’t want to upset you more. It was a low point in my life, one I wish I could take back,” Aiden grimaced.

“Well you can’t,” I hissed
. “Just leave, please. I can’t deal with this right now.
”

“Gwen?” Aiden
walked closer
. “I’m sorry.”

“We have another murderer to capture. We’ll talk about this later.” I stomped out of my bedroom and came to a stop when eight heads turned to observe me. The VC stood with their arms crossed, like my poorness might rub off on them. The NAWC members sat at my kitchen table with smug “I told you so” looks on their faces. With only twenty feet separating my bedroom and kitchen, I was sure they heard my entire argument with Aiden. Risking a glance at Dorian, I was surprised his face didn’t hold an ounce of arrogance.
Instead, he looked sorry for me which was almost worse.