Authors: Joanie MacNeil
Jake
felt his temper rise. Had Danny taken advantage of Nic in her vulnerable state? And what did he mean by those comments about Mark? Before he could quiz Danny any further, Nic’s voice floated down to them.
“Shower’s
free, Danny.”
“Great,
thanks,” he called. “Be right there.”
“We’ll
talk later,” Jake told him.
“Sure
thing,” Danny replied, sounding very confident.
Jake
watched Danny head for the bathroom, and then made his way to the kitchen where Nic joined him.
One
way or the other he was going to find out just what Danny meant by his comments about Mark, but Nic had other ideas.
“I’m
so excited, Jake,” she said, commandeering his thoughts as she began to put together a salad for lunch. “Here, stick that in the oven, would you?” She handed him a crusty loaf which she’d pulled from the freezer. “You’d better slice and butter it and wrap it in foil first.”
“Sure.
Any more orders?”
“Um,
no. Not at the moment.”
“Good.”
He did as she asked, aware that she’d shot him a questioning glance.
“Except....”
She shoved half a dozen tomatoes, a mix of red and yellow ones, along the bench. “Can you get those ready for the salad?”
“Sure,”
he grumbled and began to wash and quarter the tomatoes before placing them in a bowl. “Have you got any herbs?”
“There’s
some dried basil that Magenta gave me.”
“That’ll
do.”
She
handed him the container from the corner of the bench top.
He
took out a dried leaf, crushed it and sprinkled it over the tomatoes.
“Hmm,
that smells good. You’re very handy around the kitchen,” she said, a smile in her voice. “I should have married you instead of Mark.” She paused, obviously shocked at her reckless words. “I...I didn’t mean that. I...I just meant he wasn’t the least bit domesticated.”
Jake
too was shaken by her comment. The very idea of being married gave him the cold shivers and was enough to frighten him off. But the idea of being with Nic held much appeal indeed.
“Who
do you think took care of the meals when we shared accommodation?” Jake ventured, trying to rein in his thoughts and feelings and lighten a tense moment.
“You
should have sorted him out.”
“Yeah,
I know. But I enjoyed preparing meals. I found it relaxing, good therapy, and creative too. It gave the more unsavory side of our work some balance.”
“I’ll
have to let you loose more often in the kitchen since you enjoy it so much. Where did you learn the trick with the herbs?”
“An
old girlfriend.”
“Oh.
What was she like?”
“To
tell you the truth it was so long ago, I don’t remember.”
She
flicked a glance at him and he caught the lift of an eyebrow. He couldn’t blame her for her cynicism. His truthful answer had sounded pretty shallow, but for some reason, he didn’t want to lie to her.
“Nic,”
he paused, trying to think of a delicate way to phrase his questions. “About going back to dancing.”
Excitement
lit her features. “It’s wonderful, isn’t it? I’ll need to move back to the city. Not so much traveling involved then. Things will be pretty full-on once rehearsals start.”
“I
can imagine,” he said, not at all happy about the idea, though it was really none of his business, he kept telling himself.
“Danny
invited me to stay with him,” she said. “It will make things easier, as far as rehearsals go.”
Cold
fingers squeezed Jake’s heart. “Is that what you want?”
“Danny
seems to think it’s a good idea. We can work on the choreography together. The set-up would work out well, and I don’t have to worry about packing up and leaving this place as it belongs to my parents. I’ll take with me only what I need.” She paused and looked out of the window. “I’ll miss all this lovely open space and the view of the bush.”
With
a sigh she turned her attention again to the lunch preparations. “It will be nice to live back in the city again,” she mused. “As much as I like it here, the isolation can be a bit confining at times. And there are so many memories, some I’d rather walk away from.”
She
took a jar of dressing from the fridge and tried to open it. Jake watched her slender fingers twist at the lid which refused to budge.
“Here,
let me,” he said, “before you do yourself some damage.” Jake took the cold slippery jar from her, wrapped a cloth around it, and with one good twist the lid gave way.
He
handed it back to her. “Success is in the flick of the wrist.” He tossed the tea towel over his shoulder.
The
softness of her warm skin brushed against his hands. She smiled up at him, her eyes gentle and inviting. He doubted that she realized just how inviting they were.
“Thanks,”
she said softly. “I’d always have to ask Mark to open those. He’d laugh and tell me I couldn’t manage without him.” Her lower lip trembled and dampness pooled in her eyes. Determinedly she took a deep breath and lowered her lashes.
Jake
couldn’t resist the urge to brush away two small tears that glistened like crystals at the corners of her lashes.
She
opened her eyes at his touch. “Thanks. Sorry.” She turned away from him.
Jake
opened his mouth to ask her about Danny, and his comment about Mark, but Danny suddenly appeared in the kitchen and his chance was lost.
“Anything
I can do to help?” Danny asked.
“Yeah,”
Jake said. “You can take the bread out of the oven.” He grabbed the towel from its resting place on his shoulder and thrust the cloth at Danny.
Jake
noticed Danny appeared quite adept in the kitchen. A part of him had hoped to embarrass the handsome young dancer. Jake was disgusted with himself. He was like a school kid, out for vengeance. Why was he thinking this way? He was probably only a year or two older than Danny, but he felt so much older. The sights he’d seen and places he’d traveled were enough to age anyone’s outlook.
Lunch
was a strained affair. At least Jake felt strained and stressed.
The
bond between Danny and Nic was strong, Jake was sure of that. What he wasn’t sure of was how close they were, and what kind of relationship they shared. It was difficult to tell. All he could do was hope that Danny didn’t hurt Nic. She didn’t deserve that. And as much as he wanted to protect her, he couldn’t stick around indefinitely.
Lunch
over, and heavy-hearted, he watched as Nic saw Danny out. When Danny hugged and kissed her before climbing into his car, Jake almost lost it.
What
was he so concerned about? He should be pleased Nic had found a way to move on, that she seemed happy enough with her choices. He shook his head and turned his attention to clearing the table.
* * *
“How’s that cute little baby of yours?” Nic asked Danny as they walked to his car. A smile lit his eyes. “She’s just beautiful. Just like her mother.”
Nic
grinned. “That’s what I thought you’d say.”
She
paused. “Danny...Cass won’t mind if I come to stay with you, will she? I don’t want to put her out or have her feel I’m taking you over...you know how intense things get with rehearsals and how much time is involved.”
“No,
she won’t mind at all. In fact, it was her idea. She’s been worried about you, stuck out here all on your own. And we have the flat underneath the house, so you’ll have your own space.”
He
glanced toward the house and Nicolette knew what was coming. “Though I see you’re not alone anymore.” His gaze returned to her, studied her face. “Will he mind you picking up your career again?”
“He
has nothing to do with it. He’s more a friend of Mark’s. They worked together for a long time before I came on the scene. Jake’s a television journalist, Mark was his cameraman.”
“I
thought he looked familiar,” Danny said. “I had forgotten exactly who Jake was, only that you mentioned him that night after Mark’s death.” He paused as if choosing his words carefully. “I know how much you want a home and family of your own.” He stroked the back of his hand along her cheek before gently squeezing her shoulder. “You’re very vulnerable right now. And you have a shot at a top career. Don’t let yourself get hurt.” He hugged her and gave her a kiss before climbing into his car.
“I
don’t plan to,” she replied with a smile, even though her heart felt strangely unsettled. “Been there, done that. Anyway, Jake’s not my type, and I’m not his. There’s no chance we’ll get involved. He’s not interested in me. Besides, he’ll be gone right after Christmas.”
Danny’s
gaze raked over her. “Don’t underestimate your power over the man, babe. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s protective of you, that’s certain. He thinks you and I are hot, that we’re an item.”
Nic
almost laughed. “You’re kidding?”
Danny
shook his head. “Just tread warily. I don’t want you to get hurt, Nicky.” He turned the key in the ignition and the engine sprang to life.
“I
don’t plan to,” she said, not sure what to make of his tone and his words. “Why don’t you bring Cass and the little ones for a visit on Saturday?”
“Hey,
I’d like that. Cass would too. See you then.”
“Good.
Be here in time for lunch.”
“And
you keep up the workout routine. You’re looking good.” He smiled and then eased the gear stick into first and took off.
Nicolette
watched him go.
What
was he talking about? His imagination had run away with him. Jake was no more protective of her than a snake about to swallow a frog. Surely not.
She
turned and went back inside the house to find Jake had cleared away the lunch things and almost finished packing the dishwasher.
“Thanks
for doing that,” she said, still puzzling over Danny’s warning and seeing Jake a little differently now.
“No
problem,” he muttered.
The
tone of his voice grated on her and she recalled that he’d been quiet through lunch, almost sulky.
“What’s
up with you? You look like you’ve just lost your best friend.” The words were out and immediately, she regretted them. “Oh, Jake, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just a stupid expression.”
She
couldn’t quite pick the look which flickered in his eyes. His expression was fairly bland though as he studied her face.
“You
and Danny have been friends a long time?”
“Yes,
we’ve danced together for about five years, on and off. He’s a great guy. We even dated for a while, but that was a long time ago...before Mark.
“Did
you dance like that in front of Mark...with Danny?”
“I
don’t remember. He may have seen us perform that number on stage. If he did, he never commented on it. Why do you ask?” Nic suspected she already knew.
Jake
shrugged. “Just curious.”
“Jake,
I never gave Mark any reason to doubt my love for him. I was a loyal wife.”
“Were
Mark and he friends?”
“No,
as a matter of fact. They met only a few times, but didn’t have much in common.”
“Except
you,” Jake muttered.
Nicolette
looked at him. “Yeah, except me.”
“Like
you and me, we don’t have much in common, except for Mark.”
Chapter Seven
“Where
is it?” Nic searched the kitchen cupboards. “It has to be here somewhere, for goodness sake!”
The
heat of frustration began to build.
It
was all Jake’s fault. If he’d listened when she’d told him exactly where to place utensils and other items in her kitchen cupboards, she’d not be wasting time now looking for the large, pink plastic salad bowl.
“Bloody
nuisance of a man,” she stormed to herself. “Coming here, moving in, taking over. It’s all Mark’s fault for dying. He should have been here for Jake, for me. He shouldn’t have been so stupid.”
She
rose from rummaging in the cupboard beneath the wall oven and slammed the door, not really knowing what she said, the words spilling out in angry frustration. “Someone is going to have to go and it won’t be me!”
She
opened another cupboard and slammed it violently once she realized the elusive bowl wasn’t there.
Tears
pricked her eyes. “I can’t stand this anymore!” She slammed another cupboard, one that she’d looked through at least twice, as she had with all the others by now. Looking, but not seeing. “Where is the wretched thing?”
Why
did she feel so fractious, so tense, like she could grab Jake by the ears and shake him, just for the heck of it? Not to mention the satisfaction.
Frustration
got the better of her and when Jake walked into the kitchen, she turned on him. “It’s all your fault!”
“What?
What’s my fault?”
She
wanted to knock that innocent, if not puzzled, expression right off his handsome face. Her fingers itched to do just that. Instead, she curled them tight and squeezed, her nails digging into the softness of her palms.
“Where
on earth have you hidden my big pink salad bowl? I had no trouble finding things before you came here.”
Jake
blinked. And well he might. She hadn’t meant to sound like a witch. But if she had a witch’s power to cast a spell on him, make him disappear; then she’d do it.
Calmly
Jake reached up and opened the cupboard above the fridge.
“This
what you’re looking for?”
She
snatched the bowl from his grip.
“Yes.”
That was the one cupboard she hadn’t looked in. She never put anything up there, it was too high.
“Why
did you put it up there? Heavens above, how am I supposed to reach it?”
She
opened one of the lower cupboards and threw in the bowl, which promptly bounced out and clattered on the floor. She swore, picked up the bowl and tossed it in again, slamming the cupboard door before the offending plastic vessel could bounce back on the floor for a second time.
“Do
you want me to leave?”
His
soft voice caressed her, adding to her guilt over sniping at him. His assessing gaze demanded the truth. “I’ll go if you want me to.”
Nic’s
breath expelled in a whoosh. Now was her chance to get Jake out of her life. She did a quick assessment, knowing how peaceful her life would be without Jake. And he was going to go soon anyway. Why not go now and be done with it?
“No,”
she said. “I’m sorry. I’m just having a bad day. I...I’ve got a lot on my mind.” She wasn’t about to admit that she’d be lonely without him in the big, almost empty house. She didn’t seem to notice being alone before...before Jake. As it was, she’d decided to move out on the same day he returned to the city to catch his flight back to Europe. Being in the house on her own just wasn’t an option anymore.
“Hey
Nic,” he said softly, moving toward her. “We all have bad days. What’s really bothering you? Are you missing Mark? It’s quite okay for you to have these moments. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
She
looked at him through the tears stinging the back of her eyes, dampening her lashes. Nic wanted to scream at him. Confusion stemmed from her residual feelings for her late husband and the attraction she felt for Jake. How was she supposed to feel under such circumstances, for goodness sake?
“Come
here, Nic.”
Again
his soft voice caressed her, made her insides melt. He reached for her and pulled her into a warm, comforting embrace. She breathed in the scent of him, feeling cherished, protected. For a few moments she’d allow herself some respite from her worries and enjoy the closeness.
His
broad chest felt strong beneath her cheek as he cradled her to him, his heart beating against her skin.
She
loved the way he shortened her name too. It sounded, so, so personal, special. In Jake’s arms, she felt special and entertained the reckless thought of becoming more intimately involved with him.
Her
pulse began to beat erratically at the very idea.
His
knuckles tenderly brushed her cheeks and a delicious shudder heated her body. She liked his touch. That was one of the things she missed during those long lonely days and nights...the gentle warmth of a human touch.
The
combined grip of his power and charm was no match for her vulnerability and she fought hard against throwing caution to the winds.
“Jake,”
she whispered. His hands cupped her face and he lowered his mouth and feathered a tender kiss against her lips.
“Nic,”
he murmured. “Something’s happening here.” He brushed a knuckle against her cheek. “Should we do something about it?”
She
shrugged, unable to make her mind work fast enough to combat the stirring within her and string a coherent sentence together.
Nicolette
stared up at him, her heart beating furiously. She ordered herself to stop behaving like a school girl and not to read anything into Jake Harrigan’s flirtations. But a little tiny part of her wanted to play make believe. And play make believe with no one else but Jake.
“Jake....”
She broke away from his embrace and ran from the room.
* * *
“Where the hell is she?” Jake paced the length of the verandah.
He
hadn’t followed her when she’d run from the kitchen, believing she needed some privacy to sort herself out. In his experience some women seemed to prefer to do that without a man’s interference. Was Nic one of those women? In retrospect, he kicked himself for not finding out.
He’d
dozed off in the banana lounge beneath the trees and dreamed of her, expecting to find her in the pool when he woke. But she wasn’t there, or anywhere else. As time moved on, and she didn’t show, his anxiety grew. Had he frightened her off with his timely though intimate question? He should have kept his big mouth shut, kept his thoughts to himself. He hadn’t expected her to react so strongly. He thought she’d just say no and be done with it.
Jake
went to her bedroom. The door was open but the room was empty.
He
shouldn’t have got so close and should have left his question unasked. But since he’d been so foolish and voiced his thoughts, he shouldn’t have let her go without following her to make sure she was all right.
He
checked the pool and the immediate area around the house. He could see the small runabout bobbing around on the river, but still anchored to the bank, so knew she wasn’t on the water.
Unless
she was in the river. He shook his head. “No, she never swims in river.” He clung to that thought like a lifeline.
Then
where the hell was she?
She
couldn’t be too far away. Her car was still parked under the carport alongside his.
Fear
gripped him. If anything had happened to her....
He
fought back memories of far away places, of missing colleagues, the sights and sounds of war, and he broke out into a cold sweat. He had to keep reminding himself that this was home turf, not some troubled country torn apart by war. But danger lurked everywhere, probably more so closer to home.
Back
in the house, Jake continued to pace.
Mark
would haunt him from the grave if something happened to her.
A
chill seeped into his bones. He hoped she hadn’t done something stupid. Surely not. There was only one thing left to do and that was to look for her in the bush.
Was
he overreacting? He didn’t think so. Too bad if he was. Better he act now, rashly, than live to regret that he didn’t act at all. He’d been waiting and looking for well over an hour for her, and had dozed for at least an hour before that.
What
if she’d been bitten by a snake? What if she’d slipped from one of the huge boulders and fallen onto a rocky ledge overlooking the river? Either way, she’d be hurt and in need of help.
Jake
grabbed two of the water bottles sitting on the kitchen sink and filled them, thinking about which way he should go. He remembered one route they’d taken that had been her favorite. It followed the river then up the incline to a ledge beneath a huge boulder. The shelter offered a view of the Hawkesbury, toward Wiseman’s Ferry, and though the tiny township hadn’t been visible from there, it was possible to see the cable-drawn punt as it made its way across the water.
He
stuffed the two plastic bottles into a small cooler bag, slipped the strap over his shoulder and set off through the vaguely familiar territory, carefully picking his way over the rough terrain toward the river.
He
called her name, but there was no answer. The stillness of the bush drove him on. Even the monotonous drone of the cicadas had softened to a dull, rough hum.
Jake
pushed on, leading away from the water now, moving uphill. If Nic was hurt, he had no idea how he would get her out. But for now, that was the least of his worries. He had to find her first.
A
deeper feeling gnawed away at his anxiety over her welfare. He didn’t want to think about the fact that perhaps it was more than her welfare he cared about.
“Nic.
Coo-ee. Nic.” He paused to listen for her answer.
Not
even the cicadas responded now.
He
called again.
Silence
cloaked him.
He
pushed on, becoming more uneasy by the second. The Australian bush was nothing like the places he’d been. The bush had a peace all its own, but underlying that peace was something more sinister. A trap for the unwary. He’d bushwalked in his younger days, and knew the risks. If he couldn’t find her within a reasonable time, he’d go somewhere for more expert help. He had no choice.
Further
up the hill, he stopped to take stock of his position, helping himself to a swig or two of the cool water. Jake wiped his brow with the back of his hand, took another drink, secured the bottle and pushed on. He was getting closer to the spot Nic had taken him before. He hoped to God she was there.
A
few minutes more and he found her. Relief coursed through him and he offered a silent prayer of thanks. She sat on a log. Her ankle propped up on her thigh. For a while he’d convinced himself he’d find her sprawled in the dirt at the base of a cliff.
“Hey,
Nic!”
Startled,
Nic turned and glared at him, then her features softened. But she didn’t look...right. Something was wrong. Uneasiness gripped his heart.
“Go
away, Jake.”
He
was taken aback by her reaction to his presence. “I didn’t mean to startle you. Are you hurt?” He crouched before her, his hands running over her calves, her ankles, checking for signs of damage.
She
shoved his hands away. “I’m all right. Just leave me alone.”
“Hell,
Nic, I was worried about you. What if you’d had a fall, been bitten by a snake or a spider?”
She
shrugged. “What would it matter?”
“Don’t
talk rubbish.”
She
tried to push him away as he approached her again.
“What
the hell?” He realized she’d been crying. He sat beside her on the log and put his arm around her.
“What
is it?”
She
shook her head.
“Are
you upset about what I said, about that kiss?”
She
looked at him through glistening eyes and shook her head again. Tears tumbled down her cheeks and she tried to both smile and wipe them away at the same time.
“No,
it’s not that. Not you. It’s me. I thought I’d got past this stage. That’s what’s so annoying. Just when I think everything is fine and I can move ahead, I take a step backwards. I...I’m...in spite of everything, I’m just finding it hard to let go and move on.”