Deceptive Cadence (28 page)

“Don’t ‘whatever’ me.” He pushed me off and scanned the DVDs. “You’d probably know who wins all the games today anyway.” He turned and gave me a sly look, which earned him a scowl. He chuckled and turned back to the DVDs. “There’s some girly flicks here if you want? I know you love that crap.”

“You’re hilarious.”

“Hey, look! Titanic! ‘Oh, don’t let go Jack!’ Pft, stupid movie.” He bent over and I forced myself not to stare at his butt. “Now, this is a movie I can do. ‘Bond,
James
Bond.’” He flexed his biceps. “It must have something to do with the name.”

“Ah, he’s way smoother than you.”

“He wishes he was as smooth as me.”

Again, he bent over and my gaze lingered over his butt. I forced myself to look away. He sat beside me and pulled me closer to him. He shuffled up against the arm of the couch and lifted his leg behind me so he could hold me against his chest. Completely wrapped in him, I relaxed, having missed him over the past two weeks.

At first, we watched the movie as he slowly stroked my arms. But then, he moved my hair and started nibbling on my ear.

“James, I can’t focus on the movie.”

“Good.”

His arms fell and wrapped around my waist as his lips drifted down my neck. I shut my eyes as my heart rate jumped. His right hand came up and stroked my hair as I leaned back, enjoying his affection after being separated for longer than I was used to. Then, his hand slid down my chest, into my shirt, and under my bra.

I gasped with surprise, but his arm around my waist held me against him as he lifted his lips. “Cadence, I’ve missed you.”

My breath grew sharp and shallow. Adrenalin pumped through my body, causing me to feel lightheaded and giddy. His hand shifted and slipped around my other breast; I bit my lip to hold back a nervous whimper.

When his hand withdrew, I felt breathless, my heart pounding so hard I thought it would leap from my chest. I watched his hand move away from my chest and return to my waist.

I pressed against him. “James?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t ever go away for so long again.”

He chuckled and his hand slipped up under my shirt while his other hand grabbed at the button on my jeans. When he undid the button, I panicked and pulled away. “No, James.”

He sighed, but in his eyes I saw the intensity I’d seen in the car on my birthday. He desired me, and he was fighting to keep a handle on it.

I pushed off him. “James, we can’t have sex. I don’t wanna have sex until I’m engaged or something.”

“We don’t have to have sex, you could just let me―”

“No. That leads to sex. And my dad, oh my gosh, my dad! He’d kill you.”

James winced. “Ah . . . yeah . . .”

“I think we should set up some boundaries. No more touching under the clothes and no groping.”

He scowled. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, very serious. My dad would kill you. He’d drive you out to the middle of nowhere, hack off your head, and bury you in a shallow grave.”

He grasped his neck. “Wow, that was way too well thought out for my comfort.”

“And as I said,
I’m
not ready for it. I’m still just a kid. I need to at least graduate, but I want to be older and in a committed marriage-type relationship.”

“Okay, Cadence.”

I looked at him.

He grasped my arms. “I want you to be happy and to know you’re safe with me.”

I leaned against him. “Thank you, James.”

TWENTY-THREE

September arrived. With James’ graduation being family only so they could fit everyone in the hall, I waited in the lobby just outside. I didn’t mind—it meant I could read a book through the boring speeches and special awards. But when they started calling names, I listened until they reached the Fs. I jumped up and pressed my nose against the window on the door.

James lined up on the far wall. I watched as he slowly crept forward and disappeared backstage, then they called his name. I leaned against the door to watch him walk across the stage and shake the principal’s hand, then head off again.

I grinned and returned to my chair, so proud of him. He’d received an early placement into Macquarie University’s science program, so his exams in a few weeks were just a formality. There would be no real pressure.

The door opened, and he stood in his navy blue gown grinning at me. I jumped up and rushed into his open arms. He lifted me off my feet and kissed me over and over.

“I couldn’t have done this without you,” he said.

I flicked the tassel on his cap. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I’m so excited. Next year is going to be awesome. Tom, Sam, and I are gonna find a place together closer to the city, and Mum and Dad are gonna help me find my own car. None of this would be happening if it hadn’t been for you.”

I softly kissed him. “I’m so proud of you, but I’m gonna miss you being here with me every day. It just won’t be the same without you.”

He tucked a stray hair behind my ear. “I’ll make sure I see you.”

James claimed the Saturday after my birthday. As our two-year anniversary as well, we had a romantic lunch at a lookout where he whipped out a box.

“I saw it and it reminded me of your eyes,” he said in my ear.

Opening it, I gasped. “James!”

He slipped the sapphire ring on my right ring finger. He’d done his research too. He knew what size it needed to be.

I lifted my hand and rested it on his chest to look at it. He smiled proudly. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it,” I said breathlessly as his lips brushed against mine.

After finishing our picnic, we went to his house to drop off the left-over food. When we arrived, James searched the house. “Hello?”

When he came back, he shrugged. “No one’s here.”

“I’ll put the leftovers away.” I headed into the kitchen to unpack the basket.

He followed me and reached out to get a free butt grope.

“James!” I laughed, pushing him back.

“What? It’s so . . .” He wrapped his arms around me to grab it again. As he did, he buried his face into my neck, kissing it.

It felt like he’d flicked a switch, putting my hormones into overdrive. I pushed him away. “Why don’t we put some music on instead?”

I hurried away, hoping leaving him alone would help him to control himself. But once in his room, I paused to control my own desires. Two years of being so intimate with him emotionally, my physical needs started flowing through. I leaned over his CD stack and took several long, deep breaths.

His footsteps headed toward the room. I straightened and grasped for some CDs. It didn’t matter which ones, I just needed to have my hands full.

His hands ran over my waist and hips as his breath caressed my neck. I clung to the CDs as his body sharpened my senses and threw me into a frenzy. “What are you doing?”

“Enjoying your company,” he responded. He kissed my neck again as his hands slipped under my shirt onto my belly.

I shuddered as goose bumps rippled over me. I set down the CDs as I rested back into his arms. “James . . .”

“Shh.” He brushed my hair away from my neck and softly kissed behind my ear. I shuddered and rested my hands over his as he ran them over my waist and hips again. “You’re so beautiful.”

My heart fluttered. His hands came around me and held me closer as he ran them over my belly. He nibbled on my ear. I bit my lip to suppress a giggle. His hand came up to my face and he turned me to face him.

I gazed up into his gray-blue eyes, fascinated by how he made me feel. I felt so drawn to him that I couldn’t break my gaze.

He clasped my face and kissed me. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him back. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. His kisses felt eager, excited, like he couldn’t get enough of me. To be honest, I felt the same way about him.

His hands wandered under my shirt. I pulled away from his kiss and gasped, but he held tightly onto me. “Cadence.”

I looked into his eyes and again found myself spellbound. I moved closer to his lips until I could feel his breath on mine. My breathing grew sharp and shallow as his fingers ran up the skin on my back. “What’s happening?”

“Shh.” He softly kissed me.

I moaned, energy surging through his kiss. I ached for him to kiss me more. Without me realizing, he had my bra undone. I gasped and tried to pull back, but he held onto me.

“Cadence.”

I met his gaze again. “James, I’m nervous.”

He stroked my neck. “I won’t hurt you, Cadence. I promise.”

He pulled me in and kissed me again. I fell into the kiss, completely lost in him.

It took me a moment to realize he was fondling my breasts. But I didn’t stop him. It felt good. I wanted him to do it. His thumbs stroked me, sending a shudder over my body as I clung to him, unable to control my desire.

He broke away from the kiss and pulled my shirt and bra over my head. I jumped back from him, startled by my sudden nakedness, and wrapped my arms around myself. “James . . .”

He rushed at me and kissed me firmly on the lips. I stumbled back against the wall as he slipped off his shirt. Groaning with desire, I pulled away from his kiss and looked down at his chest and arms. They couldn’t be more perfect.

He took my hands and rested them on his chest. I ran my fingers over his pectorals as his found my breasts. I shut my eyes and shuddered at his touch. He pressed against me, pinning me against the wall as he nibbled on my neck.

He drove me wild as he reignited sensations I hadn’t felt in a long time. He bit my neck. I grunted as goose bumps rippled over my body. I grabbed the button on his jeans and pulled it open.

His breath quickened as I slid my hand down his pants. He felt hard as I ran my fingers over him.

He returned to kissing me as he swung me around and tossed me onto the bed. He removed his pants, and pulled mine off just as quickly. Giggling softly, I shut my eyes as he moved down to kiss my bare skin. His hands ran down the inside of my thighs, encouraging them to open for him.

He moved back up and kissed me on the lips as he lowered himself over me. I shuddered at the new, yet familiar feeling. He paused when I gasped at the sharp pain and he watched my face before carefully pushing into me again.

“Oh, Cadence,” he whispered.

I clung to him as he moved rhythmically over me. When he sat back and pushed harder, I moaned and squeezed my legs tighter around him. It felt so good, so exciting.

He withdrew, rushed over to his drawer, and slipped on some protection. I sat up, and as I scanned the room, I began to realize what I was doing.

“Oh, crap . . .”

He rushed back to me and caressed my face. “Cadence, it’s all right. It’s me. Just let me be with you.”

I gazed into his eyes as his tenderness and adoration poured out of them. My resolve faltered. I wanted his body around me, his affection flowing over me.

“James . . .”

He planted a firm kiss on my lips and pushed me back down onto the bed. I was completely lost in him, in the moment. My heart raced as I ran my hands over his chest and shoulders, feeling their strength, and marveling at his reactions. His muscles twitched under my fingers and he sighed, gazing down into my eyes. I became lost in those eyes. Nothing else in the world mattered as I saw that he truly believed I was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen.

I shuddered as he pushed deeper. I shut my eyes as my feelings intensified. “Oh James, don’t stop!”

In response, his left hand came up and grabbed my breast as he kissed my cheek. “You are incredible.” He sat back and grunted as he shuddered.

He leaned back over me as we both caught our breath. His hand came up and stroked my hair. “Open your eyes.”

I opened my eyes and looked into his. He smiled gently down at me, then softly kissed my lips. I sighed and ran my fingers down his back. He smiled again and kissed my cheek before he rolled beside me.

I lay on my back as he stroked my belly. I looked over my shoulder at him. His eyes closed and a contented smile spread across his face. As I gazed at him, it dawned on me that Austin would have the same expression on his face after we made love. I rolled onto my side and covered my mouth.

What had I done?

I’d only ever been with Austin, and I had been proud that I’d given him my virginity, but I’d screwed up.

I leaped to my feet and grabbed my clothes, rushing to the bathroom.

“Cadence?”

I ignored James and locked the bathroom door behind me.

“Cadence?” He moved toward the door. “Cadence, let me in.”

“No.”

“Cadence . . .”

“Leave me alone.” I turned on the shower.

I stepped in and sobbed. How could I have done that? What would I tell Austin? I scrubbed every inch of me, wishing I could wash the moment away.

When I finished and dressed, I stepped out into the hallway. James stood in the laundry, in just his jeans, shoving his bedding into the washer. I gasped and covered my mouth in horror.

He turned and dropped everything. “Cadence . . .”

I sprinted out the front door and into the street.

“Cadence!”

I ran to the nearest bus stop and sank into the chair. I proceeded to cry harder than I ever had before. I couldn’t believe what I’d done. I felt like I’d betrayed the world and screwed up my second chance worse than I’d screwed things up the first time around.

But the part that I hated myself for the most was that I enjoyed it. I betrayed Austin in the worst way, but I enjoyed doing it. James had been so perfect, so tender, so gentle, and I’d succumbed to my desires for him.

Glancing around, I called out, “Can’t you zap me back or something? This wasn’t supposed to happen!”

My head sank as I held myself tightly. Then, to my surprise, someone sat beside me. I jumped and shuffled away, but as I glanced up, I saw my angel beside me. He wore a white business shirt and white pants, making him appear casual and relaxed.

“Take me back,” I said. “Make it so this didn’t happen.”

He looked at me with piercing dark brown eyes. I saw pity and sorrow, and I knew he felt my pain too. “I can’t do that. It’s done now. This was your second chance, you don’t get a third.”

“I thought God was supposed to forgive unceasingly.”

“God does, and he’ll forgive you for this, and everything you do, if you let him, but chances are a horse of a different color.”

I glared at him. “What do I do then? I’ve screwed things up much worse than before.”

He leaned closer to me, his gaze cutting into my very soul. “Have you?”

He vanished right before my eyes. I blinked, stunned.

I heard a car coming. It pulled up in front of me and Geri burst out. She rushed straight at me and knelt in front of me, clasping my knees. “Cay, come on, let’s get out of here.”

She took my hand and guided me to the car. She sat in the back with me while her mum drove us to their house. I leaned against her shoulder as she stroked my hair. I felt so lost, and every time I shut my eyes, James’ face turned into Austin’s.

We arrived at her house. She guided me to her bedroom and shut the door. She sat on her bed while I stood well clear of it and leaned against her desk with my arms folded around myself.

“Cay,” she said softly. “James called me and told me what happened.”

My tears burst out again. I sank onto the floor.

She scrambled over to hold me. “Cadence, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.”