Authors: Michelle Evans
Be
conscious and mindful of your actions to achieve a serenity of mind.
How many
times have you forgotten you had a cup of coffee sitting beside you? Or picked
up your mug to take a sip only to discover that it’s empty, but you can’t
remember drinking it?
No?
Try this…
What did you
have for breakfast yesterday morning?
Hold on to
that thought and now describe three things about that meal.
Did you
manage that?
Chances are
you will not be able to recall
how you felt
before serving breakfast,
how you felt eating it, and how it made you feel afterwards.
This is because
you’re not mindful of the things you do, because they are ingrained into your
routine. Going through life in such a routine way on auto-pilot is no more than
going through the motions of life without really experiencing it.
How to Experience
Life for the First Time
Step One:
Sit yourself down
Sit
somewhere that makes you feel the most comfortable. Somewhere familiar. Perhaps
at the kitchen table, or your favorite place in the sitting room. Maybe even
lie down on your bed for a few minutes.
Step Two:
Listen to everything
Intentional
listening is only using
one
of your five senses. Most of the noise of
everyday living passes by unnoticed, because it’s familiar. Intentionally
listen to all the sounds you hear. Experience the gentle humming sound of
electric currents flowing through your walls.
Don’t be scared
. Hear the creaking
of the floorboards. The sound of water, whether it be rain hitting your
windows, or drains flushing water away, or even the drip of a leaky faucet. The
more sounds that you hear, the more you’ll begin to question what other sounds you’ve
been missing because you’ve become so accustomed to them.
Step Three:
Magnify that effect by five
You’ve become
so accustomed to going through the motions of life that your five senses have
become so ingrained in the routine that you barely notice anything.
Such as how
things…
All of this adds
up to you missing out on a lot that life has to offer. And it is all because
you have fallen into a rut and are experiencing your life on autopilot.
That will
begin to change when you practice the steps above. Once you take the time to be
conscious, mindful and aware of what you are doing, and intentionally
experience your surroundings, you will slowly start to feel more connected to
the things you do, and have a better appreciation for life and be more at ease
with yourself.
Abandon
multitasking. Embrace unitasking.
“Multitasking is merely the
opportunity to screw up more than one thing at a time.”
-
Steve Uzzell
The fallacy of the human race is
accepting the myth that we can get more done in less time. You can’t. You can
have it all. Just not right now. There’s an old saying that comes to mind here.
“He who chases two rabbits, catches none.”
The same philosophy applies
to everything in life.
You cannot do two things at once. As much
you may think you’re a great multitasker—you are not. Research estimates that only
2% of the entire population is effective as super-taskers. The rest of us are
falling short and driving ourselves mad trying to get more done in less time.
Your brain is not really wired to do more than one thing at a time. What it
does do is switch back and forth. To get more done, you need to unitask.
Doing one
thing at a time requires prioritization and focus.
It’s not
that multitasking is a bad thing. It has a time and a place. Reading the
newspaper in the rest room; there’s no danger. Texting while driving, well
that’s a recipe for disaster, and that is why there are laws against it.
Accept the
fact you cannot multitask. You can only focus on a single task.
How to Unitask
in a Multitasking Centric World
Step One:
Do a brain dump
Grab a pen and
write down everything that pops into your mind. I mean everything—no matter how
silly—because if it’s on your mind, it will distract you when you try to focus
on a task.
Step Two:
Prioritize
Get a blank
sheet of paper and make two columns. One column will be for things you can do
something about, the other for things you just need to accept. Now, take your
brain dump list and rewrite each item in the appropriate column. Do you have a
gift you need to get next month? It doesn’t matter now. What does matter is
what you are going to do to be able to pay for that gift, like getting work
done. Getting a job. Getting a side gig. Organizing stuff you can sell.
List the
stuff you can actually do something about and separate it from those that you
can’t do anything about.
Step Three:
Apply the Pareto Principle
If you don’t
know, the Pareto principle is an 80/20 rule. Whatever you put onto your list,
80% of it is irrelevant. If you have ten things on your list, only two things
matter. Prioritize the most important thing first, get it done, and then do the
second. The other eight things, you can tackle at your leisure.
Step Four:
Focus on your most important stuff
early
With your
priorities set, it’s now time to focus on what you can get done. Early is the
best time, because throughout the day, our attention is continually pulled in
all directions. Surf the web, we’re enticed by ads, notifications, pop ups,
etc. Make a dinner, you’re trying listen to the news at the same time.
You can try
to block distractions as much as you like, but it boils down to
willpower
.
Having the
willpower to stay focused has its limitations. Think of willpower as a battery.
The more you use it, the more you deplete it, until it finally gives up and you
lose the will to ignore it.
By applying
the Pareto principle, you’ll only have a few things that matter on your list
and will have made a decision on the few that are most important. From there,
pick the one that matters most and do it first thing in the morning.
Get up
early to do it
.
If you read
the biographies of any successful person, you’ll notice that they are all early
risers. A common habit of highly successful person is rising three hours before
they leave for work. Imagine what you can do in three hours when you have a
plan identifying what to do, and a routine in place to get things done every
morning.
If you leave
for work at 8 am, get yourself up at 5 am. You’ll be surprised what you get
done. By the end of the day, your willpower won’t matter because you’ll be
tackling the 80% of stuff that’s not as important.
Step Five:
Self-Discipline
Every day,
get into the habit of listing tasks. Prioritize in order of importance, apply
the Pareto principle and start getting things done.
You don’t
need to live a disciplined life in order to get things done. You only need
enough self-discipline to stick to it long enough until it becomes habit, which
then becomes routine.
I discovered that when your
mind is cluttered, it is a battle to stay present. Some memory clutter pulls
you back into the past and some has you thinking of the future. Neither type of
clutter is keeping you in the present.
I learned that being present
means being at one with yourself. A state of mind that can only exist when you
control your own thinking. Your thoughts do not control your life.
And how do
we do that? Simply by searching our hearts. Our heart is in a constant two-way
dialogue with our mind. When we nourish and refresh our hearts, our hearts can
send positive signals to our minds to live in the present moment and not be
excessively worried about the future, or regretful of the past.
The solution
is not to suppress or deny our negative emotions, but instead to heal and
transform our hearts and those emotions before they have a chance to manifest
into a jumble of thoughts that crowd our minds.
Be
honest. Keep your promises and act with integrity.
“Frugality
creates honesty and honesty creates a clear mind”
A clear and
fresh mind comes from a clean and honest heart. If we are honest in the way we conduct
ourselves, our minds will be like a clear mirror for all to see. To me, this is
one of the most overlooked but impactful aspects on the road to a calm and peaceful
mind.
Not
convinced? Think of a time you have told a lie and had to tell another lie to
cover up the first one. Telling lies, even a white lie, only adds to the workload
and burden on your mind, since one lie often leads to another. Add to that, the
need to remember all these lies, large and small, so that you will not be
caught.
Not following up on promises
you made?
When we do not keep our
promises to others, we are not only communicating that we do not value them,
but we are also disrespecting ourselves. Ultimately, feelings of guilt, shame
and anxiety will creep in and cloud our mind.
Being dishonest, untruthful,
insincere or unreliable will create a lot of mind battles and create an
internal unrest.
So, the simplest way to
tackle a clouded mind is to be honest in what you say and what you do.
How to be Honest
Step One: Mean What You Say
Mean what you say and say what you
mean. For example, if you are really frustrated, tell the truth instead of
saying you are okay. This can help you acknowledge your true feelings and offload
some of the strain on your mind.
Step Two: Keep Promises
Think carefully before you make a
promise and do not make promises you cannot keep. If you are unsure whether you
can keep a promise, let the other party know upfront and be clear on what you
can deliver. Stop overcommitting and elevate a promise to a level of complete
commitment.
Step Three: Be Honest with Your
Life and Situations
Spend within your limits and do not
try to keep up with the Jones’ or anybody else. It is better to be poor and
have a peaceful mind than to look like a mega star but be riddled with
financial troubles.
Banish
Fear of Missing Out.
FoMo is a Fear of Missing out. In June of
2015 it was added to the Oxford English Dictionary and is defined as:
“Anxiety
that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere,
often aroused by posts seen on a social media website.”
What didn’t make it into the dictionary
was the JoMo expression, published by NYC author and entrepreneur Anil Dash,
referring to it as the Joy of Missing out.
As with all mainstream media, its sole
intention is to feed anxiety. Rarely do you see good news, because our species
adapts better to negativity.
Beating yourself up over what your
friends may be doing in comparison to what you are doing will get you nowhere.
Sure, your friends may be experiencing the concert of a lifetime, but are they
mindful of the atmosphere? Are they able to engage their five senses and be
present in that moment?
Most of them
won’t, so they’ll experience it once. When you get into the habit of being
aware of your presence, mindfulness, and the real experiences that are born
every day, it doesn’t matter what big events you miss, because you are
experiencing life. You can watch the videos that are uploaded online and
imagine the sensation in the crowds, the vibration of the drums, and the energy
in the room. It’s all possible through mindfulness, which lets you live in the
present and actually experience life at its fullest.
Events
happen every day in every corner of the world. Some you want to attend and
others you’ll be glad you missed. There will always be things happening and you
cannot attend them all.
Just
recognize that FoMo is related to your attitude. Either you dwell on missing
out, or you celebrate by living life in the moment, in
full
awareness of
your presence. Live for the experience and not just to exist.
How to
banish FoMo
Step One:
Stop Comparing and be Appreciative
Yes, your
friend’s Facebook pages maybe awash with awesome vacation pictures, and you may
find yourself feeling envious about it. Stop yourself and start appreciating
what you have in life. A warm bath, a good home-cooked meal or a clean bed
linen are small but great things you can be grateful for.
Step Two:
Be Willing Not To Have It All
Needs are
limited. Desires are endless. Accept that we cannot fulfill every desire we
have. Learn to prioritize truly important things and focus on them. Prioritizing
certain activities enables us to let go of others.