CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
VERÓNICA RAMSEY
I didn’t start to feel apprehension until I rounded the corner to our house. Even though my mother-in-law didn’t call me, I was still apprehensive about leaving my baby with her. As I put my key in the lock, I paused to see if I heard the telltale signs of screams to gauge how their visit was going. I was greeted with blessed silence.
“Hey, you okay?” I asked my mother-in-law, who was nodding out on the sofa. I smiled when I noticed the baby monitor on the end table closest to her.
She sat up as I approached. “You back already? I was just taking a catnap.”
“Where is Mr. Ramsey?”
“Child, he’s stretched out across the bed. He said the house was too quiet and he couldn’t keep his eyes open.”
“Quiet? Then I guess everything went well?”
“Shoot yeah. My baby got up, drank his bottle, played with us for a little while, and went right back to sleep. He was a perfect angel.”
I breathed a sigh of relief as I settled on the sofa next to my mother-in-law. “Perfect. I was scared you were going to call me crying. I’m glad everything went okay.”
“Honey, please, I have a way with men. Didn’t my son tell you that?” She laughed and I could not help but to join in. Mrs. Ramsey was such a jovial woman, it was hard not to smile just being around her. “How’s your dad?”
“He’s doing fine. As long as he doesn’t develop an infection he should be coming home sometime next week.”
“That’s good, that’s good. I know how worried you must be.”
She didn’t know the half of it. It was times like this that I missed my mother the most. She was my sounding board for a lot of things, and I missed having her around to talk to when I was confused and needed some guidance. I felt like I could talk to Mrs. Ramsey in the same manner, but I was hesitant to say a lot of things in front of her because a lot of my confusion surrounded her son. I didn’t want her to think that I didn’t love him or was unhappy in any specific way.
She said, “What’s the matter, child? You look like you’re carrying the weight of the world around on your shoulders.”
I looked at her in surprise because she almost read my mind. Most days it was exactly the way I felt. “Huh? Oh, I’m fine. Just a little tired is all,” I replied.
“Why don’t you go upstairs and take yourself a nap. I’m here and I’ll look after the baby while you get some rest.”
“I’m not sleepy. You ever feel like it’s too much effort to even comb your hair? I’m that kind of tired. I don’t want to do anything.”
“Honey, I feel like that every day, but you’ve just got to go on and press on through it. I think you and Moses need to spend some quality time together without the baby. Maybe a weekend getaway would be a good idea.”
“Ah, man, I like the sound of that. I don’t think I’d know how to act if I were to go someplace with my husband and not have to worry about feeding or changing the baby. Wow, that would be something else.”
“Why don’t you plan a little trip then? We can watch the baby for you while you and Moses go somewhere”
“I wish! Do you know that I’ve never been on a vacation in my entire life? I wouldn’t know what to do with myself nor would I know where to go. Besides, Moses is so busy—”
“Nonsense. If there is one thing that child of mine knows how to do it is let go and have fun. He’s been all over the world, so I’m sure he could plan a little trip for you two. It could be like a honeymoon for you, and it’ll do a world of good for your marriage.”
My head sprung up at the mention of our marriage. Was my mother-in-law trying to tell me something? Since Moses and I didn’t have the typical courtship, I was unsure of how much of our relationship Moses revealed to his parents. I didn’t know if she knew that I was married before or if she knew we were having an affair before my husband’s death. I began to feel nervous and uncomfortable. “I think I might take you up on that nap idea. It’s not often that I can go to sleep in the middle of the day.” I stood up to leave, but Mrs. Ramsey pulled me back down next to her.
“Verónica, what’s wrong? At times you seem so distant. I don’t want you to feel like I’m prying, I just want to help.”
Ever since Moses told his family about me, Mrs. Ramsey seemed to have taken up residence in Atlanta and visited at least once a week. She said it was one of the benefits of retirement and I truly appreciated her for offering love and support to me, but we barely knew each other. I was afraid that once she found out the sordid details of my marriage, she might not love me anymore, and I didn’t think my heart could stand it. I wasn’t as strong as I used to be.
“Mrs. Ramsey, there’s a lot of things you don’t know.” I pulled away again.
“What did I tell you about calling me Mrs. Ramsey?” she warned.
“Sorry, old habit. But things are complicated right now. Maybe when things get a little better around here, I’ll take you up on your offer.”
“That’s the problem with you young people today. You always assume there will be time to do the things you put off doing today. Life is not promised to you, so there is no better time than the present time. I’ve learned that over the years.”
I wanted so much to open up to her but my head just would not follow my heart. There was too much at risk. I stood up, ready to end our conversation.
“Honey, my son does not keep secrets from me. He tells me everything.”
I was astonished by her admission but still leery. I didn’t believe Moses told her everything. “I’m sure he does. You two have such a wonderful relationship. I wish I were closer with my mother.”
“Yes, he told me about your marriage and your affair. He even told me that he once wasn’t sure that my grandchild was his.” She chuckled, and it relieved some of the pressure I was feeling about being alone with her and confessing some of my sins.
“Wow, I wasn’t sure you knew, and I didn’t want to bring it up if he hadn’t.”
“Heck, he even told me he’d planned to kill you.” She started laughing, but I guess she could tell by the look on my face that she’d gone too far.
“He tried to kill me?”
“Oh, shit.”
I didn’t know Mrs. Ramsey well, but I did know enough to know she rarely cussed. “Wait, I don’t understand. Is that some kind of a joke because if it is, it isn’t funny.” I was ready to kick her and her husband out of my house. I didn’t care who she was, she had to go.
“Damn, my husband said my mouth was going to be the death of me, and that I wasn’t capable of holding water. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I should have let Moses be the one to tell you.”
“What are you talking about? Why would Moses want to kill me? And more importantly, why did you find it funny?” It took everything in me not to haul off and smack his mother. Moses on the other hand would not get off so lightly. I was going to call that motherfucker and tell him to kiss my ass. Me and my baby would be gone by the time he got home from work.
“Hold on, before you run off half-cocked, let me explain. When Moses first told me what he’d planned, I was as outraged as you are. However, he wasn’t thinking clearly. Tilo had messed up his mind, and that is the main reason he is so intent on finding her.”
“Here we fucking go again. What the fuck does Tilo have to do with this? You know what’s wrong with me? I’m so frigging tired of hearing that woman’s name every single day! To hear y’all tell it, she is the devil herself. I don’t think so.”
“I don’t know Tilo from a can of paint, but she is responsible for putting the idea of killing you on Moses’ mind. She had him believing that you played him and suckered him into a relationship. She told him the baby wasn’t his and that you were lying the entire time.”
“She did what? She didn’t even know me.” I didn’t know who I was madder at, Moses or Tilo.
“I know it sounds crazy, but she convinced him to shoot something into your IV at the hospital, and he honestly thought he’d killed you. He regretted it right away. But once he did it, he couldn’t take it back. But Tilo tricked him, she didn’t give him a drug to kill you, it may have been water in the syringe for all he knows. She did plant enough doubt and hatred in his heart to make him want to do you harm. He told me that when he found out you were alive it was the happiest day of his life, but he was so scared he’d lose you if he ever told you the truth.”
I sat back down. This was a lot to dump on a person at one time, and I felt like my head was about to bust with the implications. How could I ever trust my husband again, especially if he allowed a total stranger to convince him to commit murder? Shit, what was he going to do if I did something else to piss him off? Would he kill me in my sleep? And how could any of them rest at night knowing he was capable of murder? This whole family was nuts and I wanted to get as far away from them as I could. It was perfectly clear to me that I didn’t even know my husband at all.
“I can’t deal with this. Moses was right. I can’t live looking over my shoulder and not knowing if and when it’s going to be my last day on earth.”
“Child, none of us know if this is our last day on earth. That was what I was trying to say to you earlier. God doesn’t promise us anything when it comes to that. When He’s ready to call us home, He’ll call. The love Moses has for you prevailed, so please don’t do anything foolish now.”
“Foolish, are you kidding me? You just told me that the man I’m married to tried to kill me. That’s not like saying I got a booger hanging out of my nose. He wanted me dead, and I take offense to that.” Tears were practically blinding me. As I struggled to leave the room, Mrs. Ramsey grabbed me.
“Stop, Verónica, I thought for sure that Moses would have told you by now. That boy picked a fine time to listen to me. I normally don’t like secrets in a marriage, but this was an exception to the rule. He really didn’t want to kill you. Believe me. It’s not in his nature, but he was so upset when he thought LM wasn’t his. I told him that if he really loved you, he was going to have to accept your son as part of the package. But when I saw the pictures of LM, I encouraged him to get a DNA test because he looked just like Moses when he was born.”
I felt like I’d just been punched in the stomach and busted in the head at the same time. Moses had my son tested without my knowledge or permission? Who the fuck did this motherfucker think he was? I broke free of Mrs. Ramsey’s arms and raced to the door. It was high time I had a conversation with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and it would be best not to have this conversation in front of his parents.
“Verónica, where are you going? Oh God, you didn’t know about that either? Me and my big mouth. Honey, I am so sorry. Seems like I’m doing more harm than good.” Mrs. Ramsey was also crying. She knew she said more than she should have. Whatever the case, it had nothing to do with me.
“I need to have a conversation with your son. In fact, I think it’s long overdue.”
“You shouldn’t be out there driving when you’re this emotional. Why don’t you wait until you’ve had a chance to calm down?”
“No, I need to go now. It won’t take me long to say what I have to say.” I slammed the door behind me as I fished around in my purse for my keys. At a time when things were finally falling into place for us, I learned this. This explained the changes I’d noticed in Moses’ behavior. I reached in my purse for my cell phone to call my sister. I was hoping that she would be my voice of reason, especially since she was the most cynical person I knew. She would give me her honest opinion whether I asked for it or not, but she didn’t answer her phone. It went straight to voice mail. I tried to sit still for a minute so she wouldn’t be able to tell I’d been crying from the sound of my voice.
A little voice in the back of my mind urged me to go back in the house. If Moses had felt strongly enough to want to kill me, what would his mother do to my son, who was incapable of defending himself? I gave her a smoldering look when I walked back through the door. “Are you going to be okay with my son or should I take him with me?”
“Verónica, you are blowing this out of proportion. Moses loves you very much and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize what you have together.”
“I wasn’t speaking of Moses, I was speaking of you. You saw fit to keep this horrid secret, so now I have to question your motives as well.” A look that could only be described as indignation crossed her face, but if anyone should have been indignant, it should’ve been me.
Her mouth fell open and snapped shut again. She repeated this several times before she was able to get the words out she wanted to say. “I know you’re upset and that’s completely understandable, but this also sounds much worse than it is. He really does love you; and, yeah, he had a fucked-up way of showing it because he wasn’t thinking straight. None of you were.”
She made a valid point, and if I allowed myself to sit back and think about it, I’d probably even agree with her, but right now I was filled with a blinding rage. I remembered all of the sleepless nights I suffered through trying to figure out why Moses was so distant toward me. It tore my heart out every time he walked past our son and never picked him up or offered to play with him. The whole time I thought it was me, and it pissed me off to learn that he was the one with the problem.