Deep Rising (An Outside the Lines Novel) (Entangled Select) (14 page)

“We’re going to be battered up and uncomfortable for a while.” The most charming smile curved his sexy mouth. “Probably grouchy, moody, and miserable too. What do you say?”

“Sounds like fun.”

Chapter Seventeen

September 28 - 3:34 pm

Washington State

They’d stayed in Hawaii for two weeks.

With an open check from the US government, the hospital administrators had shown a distasteful eagerness to see to his and Lana’s needs. While he had appreciated the battery of tests and the significant attention the doctors and staff had lavished on them, he wondered if it stemmed from a genuine need to help them heal, or if their benevolence arose from more pecuniary motivations.

After leaving the hospital, the Company house near Kilauea had been made available to them, but Jared had opted to return Lana to her home. She slept in her bedroom, he in the spare.

He’d never been married, never done the long-term dating thing. Oh, there had been women, a long and steady stream of them. But lazy afternoons and hanging around the house had never been part of the equation.

“Some classic Arnold Schwarzenegger or Bruce Lee?” Lana asked him, interrupting his thoughts.

Jared stared at the old television while Lana flipped back and forth between the selections. No chick flicks for his girl. She preferred action. Although he still couldn’t fathom her obsession with horror movies. For a woman who lived alone in a cabin in the woods, he’d expected her to be a little wary about slasher flicks.

“Okay, you hesitated too long.” She switched to some reality TV show. There was a lot of hair-pulling and bleeped-out swearing. Enough was enough.

He lunged off the couch and grabbed Lana around the waist when she jumped up to evade him. She squirmed and giggled as he sat back down and wrestled her for the remote. He made sure not to jostle her arm, and likewise, she stayed clear of his left leg. He tickled her side and she laughed and pleaded for mercy.

When he stilled his hands, she offered him the television controller. He grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and tucked it around her shoulders. She settled against him, leaning against his chest. He slung an arm around her. “Watch whatever you like, honey.”

“You know I’m only going to fall asleep anyway,” she said.

Which was true. It was adorable, really. When he held her tucked against him, she’d sleep. He suspected she was suffering from some PTSD because he’d hear her pacing around the cabin in the middle of the night. But in his arms, she felt safe enough to rest. He took pride in that. The first nights had been the hardest, but she was getting better. Jared figured in a few more weeks, she’d be back to normal.

If only the same could be said of him.

He was so attuned to this woman, so attracted to her, his every thought and action seemed to revolve around her needs. And it wasn’t a bad thing. No sir. Just now, with her warm and soft and tucked beside him, he felt…peace.

He felt a number of other things too. But he wouldn’t place the demands of his body before hers. Sure, he wanted to kiss her, to touch her. To do a whole hell of a lot more…

She isn’t ready.

Yeah. He knew that. Oddly enough, he found he wanted this intimacy, this cuddling and closeness and…comfort.

There had been a connection between them from the start, and now they could actually explore it. He didn’t know what the future held for either of them, but for the first time in as long as he could remember, he felt hopeful.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head too lightly for her to feel and held her while she slept.

October 14 - 12:52 pm

Jared lounged on the porch cradling a cup of coffee. A fire burned in the woodstove and the leaves dropped from the trees like a rusty rain. The clouds over Mount Rainier had dumped a foot of snow already, or so the forecasters claimed. Jared figured they’d see a couple of inches in the valley before the cold front moved through.

His leg had nearly healed. It ached and there would be a lot of scar tissue, but he could walk now with the assistance of a cane, and it wouldn’t be long before he would be able to dispense with that and the plaster cast too. Lana joined him on the path to recovery. Just this morning he’d noted the color in her cheeks and the return of that subtle luminosity to her skin. Her arm had mended nicely, and while it would never be as good as new, she would, in time, regain all movement and hopefully all sensation. She was sleeping better now, almost soundly through the night. Although most days they’d carve out an hour in the afternoon to nap on the porch or in front of the main fireplace.

They had shared chores, taken short walks through the woods, talked about their childhoods, watched old movies on an old TV.

It was the most relaxing time in his life.

“Need a refill?” Lana asked, holding the coffeepot. She stepped onto the porch.

“No.”

“Want something stronger?”

“Is there a reason for it?”

“I spoke with my parents.”

“And?”

“They’re devastated to learn about Sergei’s ‘boating accident.’ They, uh, asked me to call Paul. My brother didn’t take the news well, either.”

In the weeks since the attack on Kilauea, Jared had regularly corresponded with Gordon Quaid. Gordon had mentioned releasing Sergei’s remains, and if he had, then the autopsy had been completed. The cover story and COD or cause of death, on the autopsy report had been provided by the CIA.

Lana’s terroristic, maniacal brother had attempted to kill her—and millions of other innocent people—but her parents didn’t know this. It followed that her parents would experience genuine grief, and Lana, being empathic, would share their pain.

He noted the glass bottle in her left hand.

“Sure, darlin’,” he said. “Pour us a drink.”

She passed him the bottle of scotch and accepted his coffee mug. Disappearing inside, she went to procure ice and glasses.

When she sat beside him in the adjacent recliner, he clinked his glass against hers. The liquid in her glass was clear, vodka presumably. He rested one hand on her knee. She didn’t tense beneath him, but rather moved closer so he could wrap his arm around her shoulders. It had been like this ever since the hospital. They held hands when they walked. Snuggled next to each other on the couch. Touched each other a lot while doing the dishes or cooking. He hadn’t kissed her. He’d meant what he said about caring for her, and part of that care included giving her mind and body time to heal. When—if—she was ready, they could take their relationship to the next level. Provided the waiting didn’t kill him first…

“Aside from your parents grieving, how are you?” he asked.

She took a sip and snuggled closer. There was that lilac smell again. He lowered his head closer to her hair and breathed in her scent.

“So far as Sergei goes,” she said, “I don’t feel anything. Someone shooting at you tends to eliminate any residual emotion.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “It does.” He swirled the scotch, staring into the glass. “I spoke with my mother today.”

“Ah, it must be family ties day. How are the kids?”

“They’re coping, but I’m needed there.”

“Um, Jared, I hate to ask and conjure more bad memories, but you mentioned Julia dying in a car accident. Did her husband die too? I can’t begin to think what those poor kids must be going through, losing both their parents.”

“Is her husband dead, you ask?” Jared didn’t bother to cloak his anger. Anger he was well accustomed to dealing with. The cavernous void inside his chest that grew a little deeper every time he thought about his sister in a cold grave,
that
would take a great deal longer to come to terms with—if he ever could. “No, he isn’t. Unfortunately.”

“I shouldn’t have brought it up. It really isn’t my business.”

Jared trailed his hand over her hair, silencing her with the gesture. “After all we’ve been through together, how can you say such a thing?”

Lana bit her lip.

She did that sometimes, when she was nervous. This woman was so strong and capable that when she showed any hint of vulnerability he wanted to drag her across his lap and hold her close. He twirled a lock of her hair, studied the heavy curl for a moment, and then leaned back in his chair. He reached for his drink. “My sister married the high school football hero, a local hell-raiser, Brett Walters. Anyway, when Brett’s NFL career didn’t pan out, he came home and took solace in a bottle. When that didn’t help, he got mean. I didn’t hear about it until after he got sentenced to jail, but Mama worried that he had raised his hand to my sister.”

“Oh, Jared.”

He sipped his drink. “They couldn’t charge him with vehicular manslaughter. He got knocked unconscious in the accident, and by the time the authorities discovered the crash, he’d slept off the worst of his drunken haze. They didn’t have enough to lock him away for any extended time. Pity.”

“Did you…”

He watched her swallow her question with another hasty sip.

“Did I beat the living shit out of him? No. I never had the opportunity. Come to think of it I probably should look up the ol’ boy when he gets out next month.”

“You wouldn’t, um…”

“What, Lana? Kill him?”

“I’m sorry, I meant—”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jared interrupted her. “For heaven’s sake, I’m not a murderer! It might be hard for you to understand as a civilian, but war is justifiable, not all the time, but when people fight to protect themselves or for the greater good, or freedom and justice, it’s…different. I’m not saying it’s right. But I can say—with certainty—that my actions have saved lives. That has to count for something.”

He hadn’t meant to say so much, or to try to make excuses for his actions, but sometimes the guilt ate at him until he feared there wouldn’t be anything left. If Lana were to start judging him…

She smiled slowly. “It
does
count for something, Jared. It means everything. You’re a good man.”

Good? Now that was just hogwash. “I seriously doubt Brett will come around,” he finally said. “Speaking of ex-husbands, what’s the deal with yours? What’s his name, Jim?”

“James,” she automatically corrected him. “If I so much as abbreviated his name he got angry.”

“Sounds like a dick.”

“As a matter of fact he was.” Lana pivoted to face him directly. “He’s a geologist. Quite brilliant actually. A real academic.”

“Let me guess, he loved to listen to himself talk?”

“You have no idea. At first, I entertained all of his conversations but after a while he would just drone on and on, stubbornly repeating trite points or formulating intricate arguments that completely missed their mark. And the man could debate about anything! One laundry detergent versus another, the proper amount of lumbar support a chair should have, the best brand of mineral water…”

“Sounds annoying.”

“It was. But that isn’t what put the nail in the coffin. We wanted different things. In hindsight, I think he made promises because it was what he thought I needed to hear.”

“What kind of promises?”

“Oh, you know. The two-point-five-kids, white-picket-fence kind. When he never wanted anything of the sort.”

“Ouch. That still isn’t an excuse for lying outright.”

“No,” she agreed. “It isn’t. But I don’t think it was meant maliciously. I think he just figured—in his arrogance—that he’d eventually make me see the error of my ways.”

“And what, pray tell, were you so wrong about?”

She sipped her drink and avoided his gaze. “In his words, ‘wanting to start a family.’”

Jared felt some of the tightness in his chest loosen at that proclamation. “And what’s so wrong with that?”

“Nothing. But it wasn’t what he envisioned. James loved our lifestyle. He didn’t mind the traveling or that we were apart for months at a clip.” She met him with a rueful grin. “Probably because that freed him to bang whatever touring lecturer was in the vicinity.”

“Idiot.” He set his drink on the table and clasped her hands. “He was a fool, Lana, on many levels.”

“I should’ve seen from the start he wouldn’t be faithful.”

“Live and learn.”

“So they say. My family helped me through the worst of it. They were very supportive. In light of everything with”—she hesitated for a moment—“Sergei…you probably think my family is crazy. But growing up, it really wasn’t that way. We’ve always been this nuclear unit. My parents love each other so much, you’d think they were newlyweds.”

“And you wanted the same kind of marriage. It’s good that you’re divorced, Lana. You shouldn’t settle for less.”

She shrugged. “It’s been a few years. Honestly, I’m not even mad anymore. I figure you have to care to have the energy to be mad. He isn’t worth that.”

“No,” Jared agreed. “He isn’t.”

“Hey, you mentioned speaking to your mother, but you didn’t say how she was holding up…”

“She has her hands full. My sister helped on the ranch, kept the books. Between the horses, household, and three young kids, Mama’s running on empty. My mother is successfully juggling all the hats for now, but she’s in her sixties and she doesn’t need that kind of stress.”

The silence dragged between them for a long while.

“When will you leave?” she asked quietly.

“It depends on you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I spoke to my boss an hour ago. I’m out. Officially.” He set his glass on the table. “How soon can you pack?”

“What? Why?”

“Because I’d like you to come with me.”

“Isn’t this a bit sudden?” she choked.

“We can work out the details along the way. I don’t expect you to give up your job. I won’t push or ask anything more than you’re willing to do. And I won’t make promises I can’t keep. But I’d like more time with you, Lana. I’ll take all the time you’ll give me.”

Her cheeks flushed and her mouth made a popping sound as it opened. “R-really? You mean it?”

“I damn sure do. I’ve been attracted to you from the start. When I thought you were guilty, I still wanted you.” He watched her eyes, noting the way light reflected off the peridot irises. “You’re so beautiful and brilliant and…,” he whispered. Watching her brow crease, he assumed she was unaccustomed to flattery. She’d have to get used to it, because he tended to speak his mind. “I want you, Lana. I’m fairly shaking with the need to touch you.”