Deep Surrendering (Episode Two) (6 page)

When I arrived, I unpacked everything and spread my stuff out on one of the tables. I always liked coming earlier on Saturday because it was usually a quiet time.

After working for a few hours, I got up and stretched and wished I’d thought to bring coffee with me. I could go down to the coffee shop next door but that would require packing up all my stuff to take it with me.

So I powered through until my eyes were heavy and itchy, and I couldn’t read another word. Blinking, I looked up and realized it was dark outside. I checked my phone and realized it was a lot later than I thought. Way past dinner.

As soon as I realized the time, my stomach awakened like a slumbering beast that had been poked in the eye and roared its displeasure at me for not feeding it. I threw all my stuff back in my suitcase and checked my phone. I had one missed text from Fin, but I didn’t read that one first because I had a missed call from my mother that distracted me.

This couldn’t be good. I had next to no contact with my parents now, just to save my own sanity. Talking with them eventually led to an argument, and then I would be really upset for days. So the only thing to do was cut off contact with them completely. It hurt, but it was for the best.

I waited until I’d gotten back to my apartment to call her. Home territory, with all my things around me. My safe place.

I settled on the couch with a cup of tea and called her back.

“Hi, Mom.”

“I called you several hours ago, Marisol.” Great. We’d barely started talking and already my mother was angry with me. This was going to be fun.

“I know. I was at the library doing work and I had my phone turned off. Is something wrong?”

She sighed as if I was being the most difficult person ever, and I wondered why I had actually returned her call. “I’m calling because I haven’t heard from you in weeks and I wanted to make sure you were still alive.”

“I’m alive. How are you?” I couldn’t help but bait her.

“There’s no need to speak to me like that, Marisol. You’re my only child, and I worry.”

I was glad she couldn’t see me rolling my eyes. I’d definitely get reprimanded for that. “I know. I’m sorry.” I was required to apologize at least ten times during every conversation we had. Probably more for this one in particular.

She sniffed on the other end and muttered under her breath to someone. Knowing her, she was probably either out to dinner, at a dinner party, or hosting one herself. The woman couldn’t go one day without some sort of fancy function. Hell, the woman made ordering groceries a grand affair.

I waited as she said something else and then came back on the line. “Your father wants to speak with you.”

I’d choose speaking with him over talking to Mom any day.

“Hi, Mari,” he said, his voice tired but cheerful. It was a wonder he could still be cheerful. Mom should have beaten it out of him years ago.

“Hi, Dad. How are you?” Since Mom hadn’t bothered with the small talk.

“I’m well, how are you doing? We were getting a little worried since we hadn’t heard from you. How’s school?”

“It’s good. Busy, but good. How’s work?” Dad worked for one of the top financial advisors in Boston, but compared to Mom, he might as well have been a coal miner. Her money was old and there was plenty of it.

“Oh, your mother is motioning to me. Good to talk to you, Mari. Call us more often and come visit.”

“It was good to talk to you, too. I will.” The second thing I said was a lie.

Mom came back on the line, and I hoped I could wrap this up quickly because I couldn’t really fake an emergency, and forced chitchat with my mother wasn’t really how I wanted to spend my night. I wished I was out at the bar with Chloe, Sloane, and Rory, but they’d all bailed on me tonight. Well, Rory hadn’t answered my text, Chloe had some vague excuse, and Sloane was working. So I was flying solo.

“You can’t just do this, Marisol. We need to hear from you, know what you’re up to. I don’t understand why you’re so stubborn.”

Uh, because you made me that way? I swallowed all my bitter responses and just apologized. Again. I used to have more patience with her, but years of her criticizing everything I did and never showing me a shred of affection had worn me down.

“Don’t just say the words. I want you to mean it. People have been asking me what you’re up to and I don’t know what to tell them anymore. Oh, I also mailed you an invitation to a party we’re throwing. I expect you to be in attendance.” She didn’t need to add “or else.” It was implied.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“Marisol.” I hated the way she said my name. It made me hate my name and wish it wasn’t mine.

“I’ll be there. Okay, I have to go. Something’s burning in the oven. Bye.” I hung up before she could say anything else.

The first thing I did after tossing my phone on the coffee table was head to the kitchen to find something sweet and pour myself a glass of wine. Or five. My mother always drove me to drink.

I was just opening a new bottle of cheap red when my phone went off again. If it was my mother, I was going to lose it.

My heart skipped a beat when I realized it was Fin.

“Hello?” I tried to make my voice low and sexy. I hoped it sounded good.

“Hello, Marisol. I was hoping I could request the pleasure of your company this evening.” Oh, he sure as hell could.

“Well, I don’t know. I’ve got plans . . .” I was teasing, but I also didn’t want him to know how lame my plans actually were.

“That’s such a shame. I was hoping I could pick you up and bring you back to my place for a little while. Maybe have a late dinner? Or dessert, if you’ve already eaten?”

I was still starving from my studying marathon. “Dinner would be perfect. And dessert. If that doesn’t make me look too greedy.”

“I would never say that about you.” His voice made every word seductive. “So can I pick you up in half an hour?” That was going to require me to get ready REALLY fast. But I didn’t care. I wanted to see him more than I wanted more time to mess with my hair.

“Absolutely.”

“See you soon, Mari.” I hung up and squealed in glee before rushing to my bedroom to get dressed.

I was barely ready by the time Fin knocked on my door, but I had the feeling clothes weren’t going to be a big part of this evening.

“Hi,” I said, blushing at the sight of him. It was a reflex.

“Hello, gorgeous,” he said, handing me another bouquet of lilacs. The endearment made me want to giggle, but I just smiled.

The lilacs did remind me of the last time he’d brought them, but beyond that were the happy memories the smell and sight of them elicited. I put them in the bottle with water and reminded myself, again, to buy a vase.

Fin waited patiently for me to take care of the flowers.

“Ready to go?” I asked. I grabbed my purse, and he took my arm as we walked toward the elevator, which was actually working this week. So far.

I found myself at a loss for words.

“So what did you to today?” he asked.

“Nothing exciting. Had brunch with Chloe, went to the library, talked to my mother.” I hadn’t meant to tell him about the last part. It just sort of came out.

“Oh. How did that go? You said you didn’t really get along.”

“It went much better than the last time we talked. I only had to apologize twice for not measuring up to her standards.”

“Ouch,” he said, squeezing my arm in sympathy as the crappy elevator came to a stop on the first floor. “But I hope this has improved your day.”

“Just a little bit.” I leaned into him as we walked outside. As I expected, Carl was waiting next to the shiny black Town Car.

“Nice to see you again, Miss Everly,” he said, greeting me with a smile as he held the door open for me to slide in. Fin was right behind me, and I scooted close to him, and he put his arm around me.

“Nice to see you too, Carl.” He just tipped his cap at me, which made me want to laugh again. I was apparently in a giggly mood and I hadn’t even had that much wine.

“Home, Carl,” Fin said, which finally hit my giggle button.

“What’s so funny?” he said.

“I’m sorry. You saying, ‘home, Carl’ was just funny. I couldn’t help it. Sorry. I’m in a weird mood tonight.” His fingers stroked my shoulder.

“Well, that could work in my favor. Weird moods are my forte.” I glanced at Carl, but like any good hired help, he pretended to be furniture that had no ears.

“Are they?” I said, looking at him. His hand moved from my shoulder down my arm, and his other hand started making its way to my lap. Oh.

“Stop it,” I muttered, casting another glance at Carl. There was no way I was going to let him feel me up with someone else only feet away.

“Make me,” he said, sliding his hand down the front of my jeans and making me gasp.

Carl just kept driving and humming softly to himself. My intuition told me this wasn’t the first time activity like this had occurred in this car.

I thought about slapping his hand away. I thought about moving across the seat to the window. But I did neither of those things.

I was stressed from dealing with my mother and from all the studying, and I wanted a release. So I let my head fall back and closed my eyes as Fin stroked the front of my jeans. Even through the layer of thick fabric, I could feel the warmth on my most sensitive of places. He shifted so he could get a better angle and increased both the pressure and speed of his movements. Almost against my will, my hands drifted upward, pinching my nipples, and I bit my lip to conceal a moan.

Car horns and squealing brakes sounded around us, but I was wrapped in a cloud of pleasure with Fin.

“You like it when I touch you, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I whispered. My hips started grinding into his hand, pushing and wanting more.

“Good,” he said, and withdrew his hand. My eyes snapped open and I stared at him in shock. He just had a grin on his face as he stretched his arms up and touched the ceiling of the car.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I didn’t keep my voice down. Carl coughed in the front seat and I swore I saw him and Fin exchange a look in the rearview mirror.

“Oh, did you want me to continue?” He was asking for a slap in the face. Well, two could play at that game.

“No, not really,” I said, moving away from him and shifting so I was staring out the window. I couldn’t do anything about my breathing and the fact that I was so turned on, but I could try to hide it. I could feel Fin staring at me from across the seat, and then I heard him chuckle.

We were playing a game. Teasing each other. I’d never played like this with someone before. It got my blood running and left me in a constant state of being turned on.

This was singlehandedly the best and worst relationship I’d ever been in.

When we got to his place, Fin stepped out of the car without another word to me. Carl helped me out with an impassive look on his face. Good man. I wanted to give him a tip.

And then I looked up at the building. Of course Fin would be living in one of the most expensive buildings in Boston. OF COURSE. The lights in the windows winked down at me with superiority. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY, MARISOL, they said.