Defending My Mobster (BWWM Romance) (38 page)

I looked at the empty rum bottle lying on the floor, the half glass of rum and coke on the side table. Where had the night gone? For that matter, where had my life gone? I sat on the couch, staring into the dark drink, thinking that Alyssa was right. It had been all about me. I was worried all the time about my image and what people would say about me. I’d managed to break away from my mother, yes, but her lifestyle had followed me. And I’d made it my own.

Well, no more.

I showered and dressed, and by seven the sun was in the sky. Usually I would be at the office by now. It was strange not going. My work really had become my life. Now was the time for change. I could do it. I knew I could.

I cleared up the house, the mess I’d made last night. When it was done and every evidence of my new low was removed, I phoned my mother.

“Yes?” she answered the phone. No ‘hi honey’ or ‘I’m so glad you called’.

“I want to talk to you about Alyssa,” I said, not bothering with greetings seeing that she hadn’t.

“I have nothing to say about her,” my mom said with a cold voice.

“That’s fine, then just listen. I have a lot to say.”

I half-expected her to hang up on me, but instead she kept quiet, the line stayed open. I fumbled for the right words. I’d phoned with such good intentions, and now the sentences I’d constructed in my mind were all gone.

“I know you don’t like her,” I started. “I know it’s a big deal because of what the ladies at the committees you’re on will say, and what you think I should be doing with my life.”

“She’s black,” my mother answered. “It’s not what I wanted for you in life.”

“But it’s what
I
want,” I said. “I love her. She’s nicer than any white girl I’ve dated, and at the end of the day skin color really doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t. We all bleed red Mum.”

I waited. There was silence.

“I guess what I wanted to say was that I’m going to be with her.” If she’ll still have me. “And I’m not going to push her away because of you, or for the promise of money.”

“Well, that’s good, because you won’t get any,” she said. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

“Another thing I wanted you to know is that she told me she’s pregnant.”

“What?!” my mother cried out, but I cut her off.

“I’m planning on sticking with her, and being the child’s father the way I should. Not just because of duty, but because I love her, and if one girl in this world deserves the best life, it’s her.”

“But Nathan, you can’t..."

“Don’t even say it. Whatever it is. I can, and I want to. If you don’t want me in your life because of her, that’s fine. I’ll take it. But then your grandchild won’t be either. And that’s not fair because the baby did nothing wrong.”

There was silence again. I knew I had her on that one. One thing my mother had always been set on was family, especially grandchildren. She believed in growing as a family, loving as one.

“Did you hear?” I asked when she hadn’t said something for a while.

“I heard,” she said. Another moment of silence, and then, “I don’t know about this, Nathan. You’re my only boy, and there’s been a lot of pain and hurt in our family. After your father… well. You know. I just don’t want you hurt.”

I sighed. “If anyone’s doing the hurting, it’s me,” I said. “I’d like to visit you with Alyssa again. So you can get to know her. She’s amazing, even you will think so. And she makes me happy. Will that be okay?”

Another silence. My mother was good at drawing them out.

“Yes, I guess so,” she finally said. That was the extent of what I was going to get out of her today. But it was more than I’d hoped for. I ended the conversation, and hung up.

I checked my wristwatch. It was early enough that I could still catch Alyssa at the bus stop a block away from the office. I jumped in my car.

Morning traffic was a nightmare, but I fought it, and parked in the parking lot at eight-o-five exactly. Was I too late?

I got out of the car and ran to the road, looking up and down.

Alyssa walked towards me. I was on time.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me, her face serious, her eyes unfeeling.

“What do you want?” she asked.

I hesitated a moment. Then I ran to her, and grabbed her, hugging her tightly against me. She held perfectly still for a second, her body rigid.

“I love you,” I mumbled into her shoulder. “I’m an asshole. I’m so sorry. I love you and I don’t want to be without you.”

She pulled away from me.

“And what happens next week, when you hit another low?” she asked.

“Then I’ll have you to pull me through.” I looked down and put my hand on her stomach. “We’ll get through of it together, the three of us.”

“You can’t just hug me and think it’s all going to go away,” she said, but she was already trying not to smile, and her eyes were soft again, looking at me the way she used to.

“I know I can’t. And I’m going to make it up to you. I don’t know how yet but I am. Okay?”

“And your mom?”

“I’ve spoken to her. We’ll deal with it. But she doesn’t matter. This is what I want. You’re what I want.”

She looked over my shoulder, up at the sky, at the cars on the street. Everywhere but not at me. I opened my hand, stretched my fingers, closed it again. Squeezed a fist. She was killing me with her moment of indecision. Finally she looked at me.

“Okay,” she said. I grabbed her face and kissed her, and she laughed against my lips.

Chapter 11 - Alyssa

I was in Nate’s kitchen, fixing us supper. We’d been back together officially now for a week and a half, and he was a different person. Attentive, positive, confident. He hadn’t found another job yet, but he was looking, and he had an interview lined up for the following week.

I stirred food on the stove, when Nate reached his arms around my body in a hug from behind, and kissed my neck. I loved it when he did that. He left a trail of kisses from my shoulders up to my jaw. His hands moved slowly up my stomach, over my ribs, and onto my breasts. I tipped my head back to give him more access to my neck.

He massaged my breasts and ground his hips into my ass. His whole body was against mine.

I pulled the food of the stove and switched it off.

“I thought you were cooking,” he mumbled in my neck.

“I’m going to burn it if you distract me like this.”

He spun me around, and leaned his hips into mine, pushing me up against the counter. The heat of the stove was still behind me. I ran my hands up his arms to his shoulders, and kissed him, my tongue pushing into his mouth. He groaned softly.

When I pulled away, he took my hand and led me to the bedroom.

When he reached the bed I pushed him down on it so he sat down. I kneeled between his legs and undid his buckle, unfastening the button and opening the fly. He was hard, a thick bulge under the material of his jocks. I curled my fingers around the top, and pulled his pants away from his body. His cock straightened out, the head sticking out the top of his pants. He leaned back, lifting his hips, and I pulled his pants down. He sprang free, hard and glistening in the light of the bedroom.

I leaned forward and took him in my mouth. He was big, and I had to open wide to accommodate him. He tasted salty.

I swirled my tongue around the head of his cock, and it made small jerking movements. I closed my lips around him, and bobbed my head up and down, mimicking what he usually did inside my body.

He groaned. When I looked up at him his eyes were closed, his face a mask of pleasure.

I sucked harder, moved up and down faster. I placed my hand at the hilt of his cock, closing the part I couldn’t reach, and did a counter-action, when I pushed my mouth down, I moved my hand towards my lips. With my other hand I massaged his ball.

Nate groaned again. He got bigger and harder in my mouth. I stopped and got up, pushing him back so he lay on the bed. I pulled my shirt over my head, and pulled down my pants. My underwear went too, and I stood before him, completely naked.

“You’re beautiful,” he said. “I’m so glad I have you.”

Somewhere in my undressing he’d lost his shirt as well. I smiled at him, and got on the bed, crawling up his body. I kissed his chest, his neck, and planted my lips on his.

I lowered my hips until I felt him between my legs. With my hand I steered him to my opening. I was wet and ready for him.

I lowered myself onto him. I gasped when he pushed into me, the size of him surprising me every time, stretching me to accommodate him. I sat still for a moment, taking a moment to get used to him.

Then I started moving up and down, my body sliding his cock in and out of me. Slowly at first, and then faster, changing the speed and the angle. I pushed myself down onto his pubic bone, his cock deep inside of me. The motion of rocking back and forth rubbed my clit against his skin. My body trembled, the familiar ache spreading through my body. I rode him, bucking my hips back and forth, feeling him slide in and out. My hips went numb, and the stimulation against my clit set my body on fire.

Nate’s hands were on my hips, guiding me. I leaned down and kissed him, not stopping the motion.

The heat built in my body, and I lost it, toppling over the edge, before he did. It was hot and heavy, spreading through my body until every part of me was on fire.

I collapsed on Nathan and shuddered. My body was tight around him, clamping down. Nathan brushed hair that had fallen into my face behind my ear, and kissed me.

Then he leaned up, taking me with him, an turned me around so I was lying on my back. He got on top of me, and pushed in again, slowly. I cried out. I was tight and unyielding at first, my orgasm still raging in my body. Slowly I opened up to let him in.

He moved in and out, slowly, until I could take him again. And then faster and faster, pounding at me. He went as deep as he could, pushing all the way and pulling out almost all the way. I was still on the edge of my orgasm, and it rocked through my again. My body squeezed down on him, and it was enough to send him over the edge, too. He erupted inside of me, pumping hot liquid into me, riding out the wave of ecstasy with me.

Eventually he pulled out, and collapsed next to me, panting. I stretched and curled my body, feeling the after effects of his orgasm, and mine. He wrapped his arm around my body and nuzzled my neck.

“You’re amazing,” he said. I smiled. I loved it that he thought I was a goddess.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said, and it wasn’t weird or awkward or staged. I put my hands on my stomach. Soon it wouldn’t be so flat anymore.

“You know, I’m not going to be attractive for very long,” I said.

He picked up his head and looked at me, frowning. Then he looked down at my stomach where my hands were.

“I think you’re going to be beautiful,” he said.

I closed my eyes. It was a long journey ahead, but one we could walk together.

The End

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