Defy Not the Heart (27 page)

T
he eel in a savory herb sauce was still warm, as were the chicken with pine nuts and the spicy creamed rabbit. Ranulf did not touch the fare before him. Hugh did not touch it. Reina was not one to let any emotion affect her hearty appetite, but in deference to the two men on either side of her, she merely sipped her wine.

It was a silent table in comparison to the norm. Walter’s merry wit was sorely missed today. Though Reina’s ladies spoke quietly among themselves, they were subdued by the brooding atmosphere at the center of the table. Even the servants were on their best behavior, sensing the tension in the air.

But it did not continue for the duration of the meal, much to Reina’s misfortune. She had assumed Ranulf’s thoughts were solely on his father, but some small portion must have been spared for her. He rose and with a hand under her elbow, brought Reina to her feet as well. And then without a word of explanation to his father, or to her for that matter, he escorted her from the table. She would not have questioned him if their direction were not the stairwell leading up to their chamber.

“What are you doing?” Reina demanded in an anxious whisper when she could not manage to break his hold on her arm.

“I need a distraction, lady, ere I explode.”

She immediately thought of his lusty nature and cried, “Not
now!
”

“Aye, ’tis no better time, for I would not have you dreading the night. Or did you think I would forget what I promised you earlier?”

Promised? Dreading? Sweet
Jesú
, he spoke of the chastisement he felt she had earned this morn, not lovemaking. Her color receded, only to flood back with visions of what he intended to do. The way she saw it, did he punish her now, ’twas likely to be quite painful,
very
painful in fact, for he needed an outlet for the turmoil raging inside him that his father’s visit had thus far caused. But if she helped toward a reconciliation first, his emotions were like to be less turbulent, so would he not go easier on her, mayhap even just give her a severe scolding instead?

She did not try to stop him, but she did glance back at the table and silently beckoned Lord Hugh to follow. Fortunately, he was watching their departure. And just before they reached the stairwell, she saw that he had stood up. But his expression seemed uncertain. Curse and rot him, was he remembering what she had last said to him?
He
was the one who had said he would not leave here until he had settled things with Ranulf. Did he expect to find a better opportunity to get his son alone?

Reina was dragged up the stairs, not at all certain now that she would have a reprieve. A tight knot formed in her belly, the dread Ranulf had mentioned. She did not want to become acquainted with the palm of his hand, as he had once promised would happen did she provoke him, especially when that hand had been naught but gentle to her since she received that warning. Yet she did deserve some form of punish
ment. She had deliberately provoked him, as well as forced him to confront his father against his will. But,
Jesú
, she had never believed he would actually do
this
to her. Too often he had threatened her with this same consequence, but naught had ever come of it.

He did not let go of her until they were inside the bedchamber, and then only to close the door and bolt it. Reina’s trepidation increased tenfold. Common sense said it would be over with quickly, that if children could suffer this, so could she. Common sense be damned.

“Ranulf, can we not talk about this?”

“Nay,” he said flatly and crossed to the bed. He sat down on the edge of it, sideways, and patted the spot next to him. “Place yourself here, lady, and raise your skirts.”

Reina blanched. “You mean to humiliate me as well?”

“Humiliation is the foundation of this lesson. You will forget the discomfort right quickly, but the humiliation you will long remember.”

“I will also remember that you took pleasure in this!” she snapped.

“Not even a little, lady. I like this no better than you, but you have defied me one time too many. Now come here.” She remained rooted to the spot. “Do not make me come after you…”

Or it will go worse for you
, he could have finished, but did not. The warning was clear enough and she heeded it. But it had never taken so long for her to walk a few spaces. Her hands had already begun to sweat. ’Twas not so much the stinging bottom she feared, but the telling blow to her pride, and she could not think of any way to…unless…

She had reached him, and in a desperate move, slipped her arms around his neck. “Ranulf, you wanted a distraction. Make love to me instead.”

Fire leapt into his eyes, but only for a moment. His lips were a hard, straight line, unyielding. Slowly, he unwound her arms and placed them at her sides.

“I will—afterward.”

Fire leaped into her own eyes then, but of a different kind. “Curse and rot you! If you touch me afterward, I will never forgive you!”

“Meaning you will forgive me for this lesson you have earned?”

He was right and she was wrong in this instance. Of course she would forgive him. But she would not assure him of that.

“You do not have to do this now!” she cried. “At least wait until you are not so angry.”

“I am not angry with you any longer,” he replied patiently. “I even understand what you tried to do.” But then his voice hardened and she knew she was lost. “But I will not be manipulated like that, lady, and best you learn it now.”

She wondered if tears would help at this point. Likely not. He was too barbarous a lout to appreciate them.

“What if I promised to be the boring, silent, cowering wife you apparently want? I will give you no more reason to call me little general. Will that satisfy you?”

Obviously not, if his frown was any indication.
Jesú
, what had she said to bring back his anger? But she had no chance to find out. The reprieve she had hoped for came at last in the sound of a knock at the door.

With a relieved sigh, she told Ranulf, “That will be your father, and none too soon.”

His frown darkened considerably. “He would not dare.”

Reina cringed inwardly, afraid her next words were going to make her situation even worse. “I—ah—I believe I invited him.”

Ranulf came to his feet with a growl, making Reina jump back with a gasp. But he did not say anything. The look he gave her said it all, giving her no doubt that he felt she had again contrived to manipulate him.

“I—I will send him away,” she offered in a small voice.

“Nay, you will let him in,” he replied, his own tone rough but controlled. “And you will stay also. I do not intend to hunt you down when this is finished.”

She winced but complied, opening the door. For the briefest moment she thought of defying him again and fleeing. Her own curiosity put the thought aside. And she still had one hope, that Ranulf would reconcile with his father and thereby forgive her for her part in bringing it about. A small hope, but one that put her on Lord Hugh’s side again.

“Do you come in, my lord,” she said, closing the door when he did. “You can speak privately here, do you deign not to notice me. Unfortunately, I cannot leave. I am to be punished as soon as you are finished, you see.”

“Reina…” Ranulf said warningly.

“What difference if I tell him?” she retorted with a baleful glare. “I am going to scream loud enough when it happens that the whole of Clydon will know anyway.”

“Thank you for the warning,” Ranulf said low, with distinct menace. “I will be sure to gag you first.”

Hugh cleared his throat at this point, looking decidedly uncomfortable. “If this is not a good time—”

“There
is
no good time for the opening of old wounds,” Ranulf snarled. “But you are determined to see mine bleed, so have your say and be done with it.”

“Think you I like this any better than you, to learn after all these years that my father lied to me? I even realize now that he deliberately kept us apart, before I knew of you and afterward. He was still an active man when you were sent to Montfort, yet he turned over the management of all his holdings to me at that time. I was barely older then than you are now, Ranulf, nor did I know the first thing about stewardship, for I had practically lived at court with my wife up until then, thinking I had many years yet ere such responsibilities would be mine.”

Ranulf said nothing to that, and the look on his face was no indication whether it made any difference as to how he felt. Reina felt like kicking him for his silence. If he had no questions, she certainly did.

“Why would your father do what he did?”

“I cannot say, lady, and his reasons died with him several years past. Mayhap he did not know of Ranulf’s birth until much later, and then—”

“He knew,” Ranulf cut in. “My mother told him, which was why he wed her to the village smith.”

“And near half of all village babies die in the first or second year,” Reina pointed out. “Could he have
kept the knowledge from you to spare you the loss if Ranulf had not survived?”

“Lady, had I known of Ranulf from his birth, he would have been brought into the keep to raise, given every care. I simply do not know why my father would leave him to the care of villeins.”

“
Jesú
,” Reina whispered, recalling another who had given her baby to villeins with the hope it would
not
survive. She glanced at Ranulf and wondered if he was recalling the same thing, or if he had already surmised that possibility but thought it was his father who had hoped he would die. ’Twas better not to mention that, but Hugh had not finished anyway.

“And I can think of only one reason why he still kept the knowledge from me. I had another natural son, whose mother’s family was very powerful. They would not let me marry the lady. She was already betrothed. But I was forced to make her son my heir.”

“Forced?”

“The concession was wrung from me at the boy’s birth. My father was in concurrence, for ’twas either that or they would make war on us, which he could ill afford at the time.”

“But you were so young,” Reina said. “Surely they expected you to marry and have legitimate children.”

“Aye, but in either case, I was still to provide for the lady’s son. That kept them from having to do so, and unofficially allied our families, which in fact delighted my father. For that reason he may have wanted Ranulf’s existence kept from me, and from Lady Ella’s family.”

“Ella?” Reina looked sharply at Ranulf. “
Ella?
” His scowl made her burst into laughter.

Hugh did not see the jest. “Do you know the lady?” he asked Reina.

“Nay, my lord, though I am well acquainted with her namesake.” A low rumble from her husband wiped the grin from her lips. “But that has naught to do with this. Why would your father finally tell you about Ranulf?”

“I was home that summer after several years’ absence. The court was traveling, and my wife thought she was with child, so I was in no hurry to leave. Ranulf had reached an age where I would only have to see him to know he was mine.”

“So your father feared you were like to discover him for yourself, and possibly suspect that he had already known and deliberately kept it from you? Telling you and swearing he was as surprised as you would effectively put your suspicions to rest ere they even formed.”

“So I must assume.”

“But why keep you apart after you knew of him?”

“Again I can only guess, lady, that he wanted no bond to form.”

“Did you form a bond with your other son?”

“Nay.” Hugh sighed. “Ella’s family raised him and he is nothing like me. Sometimes I even wonder if he is truly mine. And yet he is closer to me than Ranulf, for Ranulf has never let me get close to him.”

“Can you blame him? As I understand it, my lord, this is only the third time in his life he has ever spoken with you. For the first nine years of his life, he thinks you do not want him. For all the years of his fostering, you never sent for him or visited. Considering that, I can see why he doubts your sincerity. I doubt it myself.”

She got a frown from both of them this time. Well, that was just too bad. She did not hear Ranulf asking his own questions. And she had yet to hear anything to truly support what Hugh had told her earlier. If he really cared about this son of his, he would have ended their estrangement years ago.

“I happen to know, lady, that Clydon has been under your control these past several years,” Hugh said defensively. “Tell me how often you found the time to travel for your own pleasure.”

She had the grace to blush. “In truth, not once.”

“Neither did I. My father had never been one to delegate his power to others, and in those first years that I took over his duties, I had not yet found men I trusted enough to share the burden with. I think now that he had a lot to do with that, but I have no proof. But I do know that he discouraged me from interfering with Ranulf’s training. And since I was being given regular reports on his progress, and was kept so busy anyway…but that is no excuse. I was wrong, and readily admit it. I should never have let so much time pass before seeing him again, nor left communication to letters.”

“What letters?” Ranulf finally broke his silence to demand. “I received but two from you, and those after I had left Montfort.”

“Nay, you must have had others. I wrote to you at least a half-dozen times each year the entire time you were at Montfort. I did not expect replies. I knew how grueling a squire’s training could be from my own experience. I simply wanted you to know you were not forgotten.”

Reina nearly cried out at the look of anguish on her
husband’s face as he shouted, “I tell you I had no letters from you there!”

Hugh was also shaken by Ranulf’s obvious pain. “Then my father must have intercepted them.”

“Or Lord Montfort,” Reina said quietly. “Did you not say he was a friend of your father’s?”

Hugh did not answer or look at her. He stepped closer to Ranulf. Reina had the feeling he desperately wanted to embrace him. She wanted to herself. But Ranulf had his emotions under control again, and his expression did not invite any overtures of that sort just then.