Deliciously Sinful (20 page)

W
ell, that was fast.” Mary held open the porch door, and Phoebe stepped inside the house. It was just as she’d always remembered it inside. It was an old Victorian that had been updated but still held its original charm. Bright light shone through large windows covered in lace curtains. Old worn carpets were placed sporadically over the original wood flooring. Framed pictures, filled with images of familiar faces, were scattered on nearly every available surface space.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Phoebe said.

“Of course not! In fact, I was thinking it would be a lovely time for an afternoon glass of wine. What do you think?” Mary’s eyes glittered. “Care to join me on the porch?”

“I’d like nothing more.”

Moments later they were relaxing under an arbor covered in fragrant climbing jasmine. Mary had set two comfortable chairs in the shade and brought out a bottle of wine and two glasses. Silently, the women sat there sipping wine. Listening to the hummingbirds, the bees buzzing around the lavender, the tinkle of the wind chime when a slight breeze tickled the air.

Suddenly Phoebe turned to Mary. “Do you think I entered the contest for selfish reasons?”

Mary sipped her wine. “I don’t know, honey. Did you?”

“I didn’t think so…”

“But?”

“I really wanted to prove something. To prove that I was capable of carrying on the legacy of the restaurant.”

“And you think winning a cook-off proves that?”

Phoebe sheepishly brought her wineglass to her lips. “Um…well, I kinda did.”

“So why are you questioning yourself?”

“Because I was so pissed when Nick won!” Phoebe lowered her voice. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

Mary laughed. “Honey, you never have to censor yourself around me.”

“Thanks.” Phoebe pushed a curl behind her ear. “It’s just that I wanted to win this so badly, and Nick knew that. And he entered anyway.”

“And beat you.”

“Yes, and beat me.” It played like a movie in her mind. She kept watching him go up to that podium and take the trophy. The trophy that should have been hers.

“You’re so like your mother,” Mary said.

Phoebe’s heart skipped. It always did when the subject of her mom came up. “What do you mean?”

Mary gently smiled. “She was so independent and a perfectionist. Just like you.”

“Thank you,” Phoebe mumbled. She didn’t know if Mary was giving her a compliment or not.

“She’d be proud of you, dear.”

Phoebe glanced at Mary. “I highly doubt it. I just lost the contest for the first time in over a decade!”

“Do you really think she’d care about any of that?”

Phoebe opened her mouth, but no words came out. Instead she took a sip of wine. Would her mother have truly cared? Would her aunt and uncle have shunned her for losing?

Of course they wouldn’t have.

“They’d all be proud of how hard you work, and the successes you’ve accomplished.”

For some reason Phoebe’s eyes stung, and she simply nodded.

“Phoebe, let me ask you this. Why does it matter who actually cooked the damn brownies?”

“Because it’s my family recipe!”

“But the café’s always entered them.”

“I know, but…”

“This has nothing to do with any brownies, Phoebe.”

“It doesn’t?” Phoebe sipped more of the fruity red wine. As usual, Mary had selected an excellent bottle from a local winery.

“No, it has to do with you being in control.”

“But I am.”

“That’s your choice. Furthermore, caring what people think about you is your choice, too.”

“Wow. Is this Beat Up Phoebe Day?”

“I don’t know, honey. Is it? Or is it Phoebe’s self-realization day?”

“I only care what people think because our family has been such a big part of this community for so long.”

“That’s respectable, Phoebe. But sometimes you have to remember that you have your own life to lead as well. And spending all your time trying to control everyone else’s isn’t going to help you at all.”

“Why does everyone call me a control freak?” With a harrumph, Phoebe lifted the wine bottle and refilled her glass.

“You’ve been through a lot of loss in your life, Phoebe, and survived with a smile.”

Phoebe felt her cheeks warm. “Th-thank you.” She hadn’t been given such a nice compliment in a long time.

“But just make sure you don’t use it as a crutch to forget about yourself. And your own wants and needs.”

“But what about Nick? You don’t think I should be mad at him for taking the trophy away from me?”

“I think he should have told you. But don’t just assume his intentions were all bad. At least try talking to him about it.”

“Ha! Trying to talk to him is like trying to talk to…to…I don’t know, but it’s not easy.”

“Who ever gave you the impression that men were good at communication?”

“Cheers to that!” Phoebe raised her wineglass and toasted Mary.

The next day, Phoebe needed to be at the farm. Her soul was craving the dirt and her plants. Kneeling, she felt a cold breeze raise gooseflesh on her arms and suppressed a shiver. She hoped the chilly air wasn’t an indication of frost. Although it was early June, late spring storms weren’t unheard of. So Phoebe prayed to the gods of farming that the warm weather would continue.

Funny how one day could change so much. Yesterday the sun had been promising the warmth of summer; today she wished she’d brought a windbreaker out with her.

And, of course, she didn’t know what to think about Nick. And the things Jesse and Mary had said. Phoebe hadn’t spoken with Nick since she’d run away from him yesterday, and she was glad she’d taken the time to think. Why did it matter if it wasn’t her own name on that stupid trophy? Why did she need the credit? The more she thought about it, the more she believed Jesse, and she wanted to trust Nick. Hadn’t she just been thinking about how far he’d come since that day he’d arrived? The more she thought about it, the more she doubted his plan had been a nefarious one.

What if he had done it just out of the goodness of his heart? What if he had truly changed into a good person? What if the happiness she felt when she was with him could actually be something…more?

She wanted to be less of a control freak, but when it came to her feelings for Nick, she simply couldn’t help it; she just couldn’t free-fall with Nick any longer. Not after the past day when she’d had so many revelations about herself.

She didn’t need to be a control freak.

She could trust other people.

Nick had continued the cook-off legacy on behalf of the café.

Did she mention she could trust other people?

Just the thought made her shoulders feel lighter. The café, obviously, needed her less and less. She was delegating, and now her farming business could receive even more of her attention.

And this was where she really wanted to be. In the dirt.

Her plots were already showcasing their first crops. She pulled a piece of asparagus from the dirt and tossed it into an already-full basket. Every vegetable she pulled from the earth added to the sense of satisfaction settling deep within her. The sun was warm on her back; her hands were dirty. The crops were doing well.

Perfection.

Except for that chilly breeze. She glanced to the north. The wind was just a bit too cold, a bit too sharp. Maybe she was being overly sensitive, but someone had told her a long time ago that she’d developed a farmer’s intuition when it came to the weather, and so Phoebe gazed at her crops and once more said a little prayer.

All her newly found free time had allowed her to focus the majority of her attention on her organic farming business, and it seemed every day her business grew a bit more. It seemed every day she had a new customer placing an order. She would need to hire more help.

Even now, despite the enjoyment she obtained from pulling the vegetables out of the ground, she felt the pressure of filling an order. The restaurant in Berkeley had been requesting more and more of her produce, and she needed to get a box ready for shipment by 5:00, which was only an hour away.

“Hey, Pheebs. Need a hand?”

She looked up to see Bear standing a few feet away. She hadn’t seen him since that night at the bar. Typically, here he was again. No warning, no notification. It was like he had a transport machine.

“Bear. How are you?” She felt her neck turning red. Oddly, she wanted to tell him about her feelings for Nick. She wasn’t sure why, but if Bear wanted to make another advance at her, it would feel like she was betraying Nick if she didn’t say anything to Bear.

He walked inside the garden and crouched next to her. “Good. It’s good to be home, and to see you.”

She smiled uncertainly. “Yes, it is.”

“You look like you could use a hand.”

Her first instinct was to say no, but she realized she could, in fact, use a bit of help. She nodded. “That would be great. Thank you.”

As an agricultural specialist for the Food Core, Bear didn’t need any lessons on the basics of pulling vegetables. They settled into a rhythm that was easy and efficient.

He glanced at her. “So, how are things? Really?”

Pulling weeds with Bear, Phoebe realized they’d always been friends more than anything. She’d idealized him into some sort of perfect man and was happy while they were engaged. But when they called it off, she really hadn’t been that upset. And now that she could compare her feelings about Nick, she realized what she’d felt during their engagement really hadn’t been love at all.

She smiled at Bear. “Really good, actually.”

“And Nick? He’s still working out as your chef?”

“Yeah. About that. I’m so sorry he was rude to you that night.”

“No biggie. The guy obviously has some anger-management issues.”

She laughed. “Yes. Sometimes he does.”

Bear’s voice turned serious. “But he treats you well?”

She threw a spear of asparagus into the basket. “What do you mean?”

“You know. Does he treat you well? I was a bit worried about you after that night. I wouldn’t want to see you dating some asshole. You deserve better.”

“Oh. I-I’m not dating Nick. He just works for me.” But the words faltered on her tongue.

He cocked a brow. “Really?”

“You don’t believe me?”

“It just seemed like you two have something going on.”

“We don’t. We do—I mean, I don’t know.” Other than the cook-off incident (which Phoebe was now realizing she was going to have to eat crow and apologize about), things with Nick had been going well since that night at the bar. They’d certainly wasted no opportunities to have sex. But that was as far as it went. Now, she wanted to bring it up. To discuss things with him. But just the thought—the fear of being rejected by him—made her heart clench with pain.

“Honestly, Bear. I’m not sure what to think.”

“Do you like him?”

She paused. “I really don’t know anymore. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes I want to punch him in the nose.”

He laughed. “I know what you mean. Okay, let’s switch subjects then. How are things working out at the café? He’s doing a good job?”

“He is. I had a lot of doubts at first, but he seems to have settled in. Settled down.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“It’s just that I never thought I’d see the day Phoebe Mayle would give up control over anything.”

“Shut up! I’m not that bad. Am I?”

“Sometimes.”

She shrugged. “Well, I guess I’m learning. Hiring Nick was a good thing.”

“I’m glad, Phoebe. You know I’ve always cared about you. You’re one of my favorite people in the world. I want to see you happy.”

“Thanks, Bear. That means a lot.” Just then she felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out and flipped it open.

“Hi, Jess. What’s up?”

Her niece’s tone of voice was frantic. “Nick hasn’t shown up.”

Phoebe’s blood went cold. “What? It’s past four.”

“I know,” Jesse said. “He’s not here. I’ve tried his phone like a million times, and he’s not answering.”

Phoebe pushed herself to her feet. “Damn him.”

“What do I do?”

“Start prepping. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Bear stood next to her. “What’s wrong?”

“I guess I spoke too soon. Looks like I have a missing chef on my hands.”

Bear immediately assumed the take-charge attitude that made him so successful in his travels. “What can I do?”

She bit her lip. “I hate to ask…”

“Then don’t ask. Tell me.”

She hesitated only a second. She didn’t really have a choice.

See what happens when you depend on others?

She couldn’t think about that now. Instead she took an invoice out of her pocket. “Thank God you’re here, Bear.”

“I’m glad I can help.”

She handed him the invoice. “I just need this order filled. Everything’s listed. I have almost all the vegetables pulled; they just have to be boxed and shipped. UPS will be here at five.”

He took the piece of paper and gave it a glance. “No problem. I promise to take care of it. Go deal with the café.”

She gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. But she frowned as she jogged to her car. Where was Nick? She didn’t want to think he’d bailed on them, not now, when she’d just started to trust him.

But tidbits of conversation came floating back to her…
He’s here to get his life back in order
…Was that what he’d done? Had all her conclusions about how Nick had changed, had become so much better than when he’d first arrived, actually meant he’d only accomplished what he needed to do?

The thought made her stomach turn.

That couldn’t be true. She was jumping to conclusions again, being nonsensical. Just like when Nick had won the cook-off. She’d assumed his plan had been diabolical, to show her up and beat her, but he’d really just been playing on her team.

So he was late. For the first time ever. That didn’t mean he’d ditched them. In fact, the more she thought about it, she started to worry about him. She hoped he was okay.

Just as she was starting her car, her cell phone rang again. It was Jesse, probably calling to tell her Nick had shown up.