Authors: Linda Kage
"No yams for you," she said determinedly.
Ellie was so busy watching them wrestle for the yams, she didn't even notice Boston's arrival until he settled into the chair next to her and said, "I bet Olivia will let me eat her yams." He sent Cameron a taunting smirk as he scooped up a spoonful and filled his mouth.
Suddenly, Cameron was so busy glaring at Boston and calling him a dirty name, he forgot to protect his food. Olivia extracted his pile of yams in one swoop.
As he tried to sweet talk her into giving them back, assuring her he'd love her dish, Boston winked at Ellie and they shared a grin.
Across from them, Cheyenne lifted her eyebrows. "You know, you two don't act like any exes I've ever seen. Are you getting back together or what?"
Everyone at the table—even the arguing Cameron and Olivia—fell quiet and glanced questioningly toward Ellie. Next 232
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to her, Boston coughed into his fist. Then he pounded on his chest before reaching for his glass to take a long drink.
Ellie wasn't sure how to respond.
Helena, however rolled her eyes as she patted Ellie's hand.
"Don't pay my baby sister any mind. She thinks everyone is destined to end up with their first love. She met her husband when she was sixteen. They married four years later and are still disgustingly sweet with each other."
"We are not," Cheyenne grumbled, sending an insulted glare her sister's way. "I'm sitting clear across the room from him right now, aren't I?"
"Oooh," Helena said, shaking her voice and rolling her eyes to show off her sarcasm as she added, "I'm so impressed."
Cheyenne turned away from her and focused on Ellie. "I'm just saying...wouldn't it be something if you two got back together?"
Ellie blinked. It was just too dangerous to think about Boston that way. He still had a little too much pull on her heartstrings to let herself think such things.
"Sorry, Cheyenne," Boston said, sounding sympathetic. "I don't think that's going to happen."
For a moment, no one spoke. Both Helena and Cheyenne and even Cameron and Olivia sent a worried look Ellie's way as if afraid Boston had just insulted her. But she merely nodded, adamantly backing his declaration.
"So, curious minds want to know," Helena asked as she bit into a mouthful of stuffing. "Why'd you two ever break up in the first place?"
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Boston and Ellie whipped their gazes her way, nailing her with similar expressions of horror.
Then, at the same moment Boston started to say, "That's none of your—" Ellie blurted out, "He cheated on me."
With her words still echoing through the air, every person at the table stopped eating and gaped directly at Boston.
Beside her, Boston tensed and slid an inch lower in his chair.
"Oh my
God
, Boston," Helena hissed. "You didn't."
"How could you?" Cheyenne whispered, staring at him like he was the very devil, all the while lifting her hands to cover her mouth.
Cringing because she hadn't meant to oust him, Ellie glanced anxiously his way. Boston's face had drained of color, and he looked guiltier than she'd ever seen him look before.
It stung that he was more ashamed for his family to find out the truth than he'd been when she'd discovered his indiscretion.
"Holy hell, Bos," Cameron breathed. "I can't believe it."
"You didn't really cheat on her, did you?" Olivia whispered, her blue eyes wide and hopeful.
Experiencing the strange need to defend him since it had been her big mouth that put him on the spot, Ellie lifted her hand and said, "But that was a long time ago. We've already hashed it out and—"
"I don't care if it was a hundred years ago," Helena interrupted loudly. "Boston Robert Kincaid, you should be ashamed of yourself. How could you have sex with another women when—"
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"Will you shut up," Boston hissed, slinking even further in his seat. "Mom and Dad are only ten feet away. Do you want them to hear—"
"Yes, actually, I do," Helena cut in. "You had sex—"
"Shh," Boston gritted out. "They do
not
need to know, and besides, I didn't have sex with her."
Ellie whirled toward him. "Yes, you did."
He blew out a long, slow, steadying breath before lifting his gaze Ellie's way. "No. I didn't."
"But—"
"Ellie," he cut in irritably. "I was there. You weren't. So, you don't know. There was no sex involved. Okay?"
"Then what exactly did you do with this other woman?"
Helena wanted to know.
Sending a look to kill his sister's way, Boston growled,
"None of your damn business. Only Ellie has the right to ask me that."
Four pair of eyes turned expectantly Ellie's way. She jumped. "I'm not going to ask," she yelped. "I don't want to know. It doesn't matter now, anyway. It happened a long time ago."
"Please, Ellie," Cheyenne started. "I'm curious."
"Stop it," Boston hissed. "We are not going to talk about this. Next topic, please."
"But—"
"Cheyenne," he growled.
Annoyed at him for snapping at his own sister, Ellie straightened her spine. "I changed my mind. I want to know."
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"Ha!" Cheyenne taunted as Boston turned to send Ellie an incredulous look.
"I thought it was a long time ago," he said. "Water under the bridge and all that."
Ellie shrugged. "So I'm curious. Sue me."
Boston filled his cheeks with air and then blew out a breath. After taking a moment to run a hand through his hair, he got to his feet. "If you want to know, fine, I'll tell you. But not here. Not in front of these snoopy—"
"Oh, come on," Helena argued. "We'll just get her to tell us what you said."
But Boston zapped a killer look her way. "Butt out. This isn't your affair."
"Well, obviously," she snorted. "It was yours."
Sighing, Boston turned back to Ellie. When he held a hand down to her, she glanced up at his face and studied his silent, probing stare. An echo of all the pain and heartbreak this man had ever given her shimmered through her. She knew she was damning herself for going with him, but she did it anyway.
"Okay," she murmured, ignoring his hand and rising to her feet. "I'll listen to your story."
"Go, Ellie," Cheyenne cheered. "Make him get on hands and knees and beg for forgiveness."
Both Boston and Ellie frowned cantankerously at his sister.
Then Boston turned away, and Ellie found herself helpless to follow. He weaved through the crowds, and Ellie was all too aware of all the people watching her and Boston as they exited a side doorway together.
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"Everyone is watching us," she murmured.
"Yeah, well, this was your idea." He kept a steady stalk down the quiet hall before he turned abruptly and disappeared through a doorway.
Ellie followed. She found herself in a study with a desk holding a computer in the center and shelves lining the walls.
Behind her, Boston shut the door with a click.
She jumped.
"So, what do you want to know?" he asked, coming straight to the point.
Turning slowly, she found all the courage she'd had at the table—where she'd been surrounded by his loud family—was gone. "Look, Boston," she said. "It's okay. I don't—"
"No, you want to know the truth," he bit out. "So, I'm telling you the truth. Just tell me where to start?"
She pressed a hand to her chest. "Fine then. I want to know exactly what you did with Heather Grimaldi?"
There. It was asked. She could wish the question away all she wanted. But it didn't matter. It was out there now, and he'd heard it perfectly.
Blowing out a breath, he gingerly stepped closer until he was only two feet away. "Do you
really
want to know?"
She took a second to think about it.
Did
she really want to know? It wouldn't change anything. What happened had already happened.
But, damn it, she just wanted to know.
"Did you have sex with her or not?"
His smile was slow and relieved. "I did not," he said, looking all too pleased to report it.
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Ellie shook her head, suddenly lost. "Then why'd you tell me you did?"
He frowned. "I never told you that."
"Yes, you—"
"No! I didn't."
"Boston, you confessed to being unfaithful."
He sighed and ground the palms of his hand into his eye sockets. "I went back to her apartment with her," he admitted. "I kissed her and took her shirt off. I fully intended to have sex with her. Isn't that unfaithful enough for you?"
Ellie's jaw dropped. Okay, so he'd still done stuff. But all this time, she'd thought he'd put his penis inside another woman. She'd thought...
"So, why did she stop you?" she asked. "She find out you were already involved with someone else?"
He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Oh, she knew about you, all right. But she wasn't the one to stop. I was."
"You..." Ellie suddenly found it way too hard to breathe.
"Why?"
"You really want the whole story?"
"If you don't mind."
He shrugged. "Hey, it was a long time ago. What would spilling the truth hurt now?"
Ellie was quiet. For a minute, he was too.
Then he cleared his throat and started. "You were working that night. One of my friends was having his twenty-first birthday and bugged and badgered me to stop by this party he was throwing. I didn't really want to go, but I knew I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't. So, I showed up and was 238
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ready to leave the minute I arrived. As I was looking for my buddy to wish him a happy birthday,
she
spotted me and approached. When she started flirting, I told her I was seeing someone else, but she kind of shrugged like it didn't bother her. So, I turned her down again."
"That's not all," Ellie said, making it a statement rather than a question.
For her interruption, she got a dirty look. "I'm not done,"
he said. Then he closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair. "As she was walking away, it hit me what I'd just done.
And I don't know...it rattled me that I could turn down a good-looking woman so easily. I hadn't realized I'd gotten quite that attached to you until then. So, I started to think stupid stuff like, 'You know what? Ellie doesn't have exclusive rights to me. I never made her any promises.'"
Sending her a quick, ironic smile, he added, "It pissed me off that you'd been able to gain so much power over me without me even being aware of it. I didn't like it. I hadn't planned on getting serious with you. In fact, I'd told myself from the very start of our...whatever...I'd convinced myself it wasn't going to last. I was leaving for Yale at the end of the year, and I wasn't going to have any kind of ties holding me back."
"So you did plan on breaking up with me all along?" Ellie asked.
Boston sighed. "Yes...no...I don't know. Damn it, Ellie. All I know is that I wasn't planning on feeling what I felt. I didn't want you to be important to me."
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Not sure what to think of this confession, Ellie turned away and briskly rubbed her arms up and down. "So, how did you end up at her apartment with her shirt off?"
"I went after her," he admitted. "After realizing how far gone I was over you, I freaked out. I completely denied how deeply I'd fallen for you and, to prove to myself that I didn't care so much for you, I pursued her until I got her back to her place. I had every intention of cheating on you. I actually wanted to, if for no other reason than to say I
could
."
"So, what happened?" Ellie asked in a whisper. She wrapped her arms around her waist. It felt so fresh all of a sudden. Like she'd just walked into history class and heard Heather two seats over, bragging to her friends about tempting the hot Boston Kincaid back to her apartment.
"I couldn't do it," he said. He looked so beaten and defeated, she almost felt sorry for him. His voice cracked as he continued. "I had her shirt off and I wanted to get rid of her bra next, but...I don't know. It felt wrong. It just...it wasn't you."
He lifted his eyes to hers and looked so sincerely regretful her stomach began to burn.
"As soon as I thought about how it was so much better with you, I realized what I was doing, how I was comparing, and I stopped. I booked it out of there and went straight home. When you came by the next day, I couldn't even look at you. I felt so...shitty. And I resented you for that. You weren't supposed to have any kind of control over me. You weren't supposed to make me feel anything I didn't want to 240
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feel. You weren't supposed to matter." He sighed and rubbed at a spot on the center of his forehead.
"So, that's what happened," she stated softly.
Turning away, she pressed a hand to her own forehead as the memories flashed through her...of his belligerent attitude when she'd finally confronted him and his cold flashing eyes as he'd spat back, "
God, El. I never made you any promises.
What made you think this thing between us was exclusive
?"
"I'm so sorry, Ellie," the adult Boston whispered. "I think...I think I acted like such an ass when you found out about her because I
wanted
you to break up with me. I was so confused. I just wasn't ready yet. We'd become a lot more serious than I was prepared to handle at that time. I took the coward's way out and made sure I was awful enough you'd dump me."
"I see," she murmured, knowing exactly what he meant when he'd said,
I resented you for having that much control
over me,
because he had that exact kind of control over her right now. She didn't want to be affected by his story...but she was.