One evening, she came home from a visit with her parents to find Gabe waiting for her with his bags packed. He’d decided to take the job even though he knew she was against it. Her feelings obviously hadn’t been important to him. The small string that had been holding their marriage together snapped.
Sighing, she doodled on her sketchpad, needing to focus on her work. She didn’t know what was more disturbing—remembering the bad times…or the good.
She didn’t
want
to remember the good times. Remembering the good times could lead her to doing something really stupid. Like agreeing to go away with him for the weekend. If she did that, then she might do something even more stupid. Like sleep with him.
Or fall in love with him again.
****
“The client would like to see some ideas by next Friday,” Jody Woods said a couple of hours later, shuffling the papers on her desk into a neat pile. “Will that work for you? I know you’re wrapping up the Appleton project.”
“Hmm? Friday. Oh. Yes, that’s fine,” Louisa said.
Jody set down her notes and took off her glasses, her stack of gold bracelets jangling. “What’s going on?”
Louisa stared back at her from across Jody’s large desk.
“You’ve been preoccupied like this for about two weeks now,” her boss remarked. “Is everything okay with you and Evan?”
“Yes, of course,” Louisa said. “Everything’s fine. Great.”
Jody’s eyes narrowed a fraction, and she cocked her head. “You’re in a fight, aren’t you? It’s about your ex-husband, isn’t it? The fact that he’s in town.”
Louisa’s face burned. “Well…”
Jody reached across the desk, splaying her fingers against the polished surface, as if to offer comfort. “Evan told me how the guy showed up so unexpectedly at your brother’s wedding, and how devastated you were to see him.”
Devastated? No, that wasn’t
quite
what she’d felt.
Jody continued. “Evan was pretty upset himself. I mean, he knows he has nothing to worry about with you and-and
Gabe
, is it? But still, he wasn’t too happy, as I’m sure you know.”
“No, he wasn’t,” Louisa answered, unable to meet Jody’s eyes. She toyed with her engagement ring, spinning it around and around her finger.
“Hey, I told Evan that you were far too intelligent to be attracted to a troubled artist type like your ex-husband.”
“Gabe isn’t a
troubled artist
,” Louisa blurted in his defense.
Jody’s expression made Louisa wish she’d kept her mouth shut. The compassion on the woman’s face disappeared so quickly, Louisa wondered if it had ever been there at all.
“Look, Louisa,” Jody said, her tone brusque. “I know it’s hard to leave our personal lives at home, but when you’re here, I really need your 100 percent attention.”
“Are you saying my work has been unsatisfactory?” A warning siren echoed in Louisa’s head.
Jody hesitated. “No, but it hasn’t been as good as I’ve come to expect from you. And if you want to take over as AD after Abby leaves, which I know you do, you might want to get your priorities straight.”
Louisa’s stomach clenched as if she’d just been kicked in the solar plexus. She forced a light, teasing tone to her voice as she asked, “Is that a threat?”
Although she smiled, Jody’s blue eyes shone cold. “Not a threat. Just a strong suggestion.”
****
Later that night, Louisa snatched up the phone on the first ring. It was almost midnight. “Hello?” Calls this time of night were never good news.
“You’re up late,” came the scratchy voice.
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Gram. What are you doing? Is everything okay?”
“I couldn’t sleep, so I headed to the kitchen to find something really fattening to eat. Grandmothers are supposed to be squishy, not skin and bones.” She chewed into the receiver a few moments. “Saw your light on and thought we could meet at the garden bench and chow down together.”
Louisa set down her drafting pencil and rubbed her eyes. She’d skipped dinner tonight, having been too worked up from her conversation with Jody. “Sure, Gram. I’ll meet you outside.”
A few minutes later, Louisa sat on the bench beneath the maple tree, a zippered sweatshirt pulled over her T-shirt. The night was cool, but not uncomfortable. A slight breeze ruffled the large leaves overhead. She didn’t have to wait long before the back door of the main house opened, and Gram shuffled onto the porch, holding something in her arms.
Louisa met her on the gravel path. She saw what Gram held, and her eyes widened. “Mother’s Godiva chocolates? She’ll kill you.”
Gram waved a gnarled hand in the darkness. “I’ll hide the empty box in the back of the pantry. By the time she finds it, I’ll be dead and gone. She’ll blame you.”
“Gee thanks, Gram.” She helped her grandmother to the bench, then they dug into the candy. “Yum. The scolding will be worth it.”
After they’d eaten almost half the box, Gram asked, “What are you doing up so late? Working?”
Louisa nodded. “Yeah.”
“What’s on your mind, Lou-lou?” Gram asked softly.
Louisa wasn’t surprised her grandmother picked up on her mood. She’d always seemed to know her better than anyone else. Except Gabe. “It’s been one hell of a shitty week.”
“Gabe?”
Louisa nodded again.
“A little confused, are we?”
“Oh, Gram! Ever since he came back, everything’s been going wrong. Sarah and Arty separated, my job’s in jeopardy, Evan and I are—”
Gram held up a hand. “Whoa! Back up a step. You’re having trouble at work?”
Louisa hissed a loud breath. “You know Evan’s older sister is my boss.” At Gram’s nod, she said, “Well, I think Jody got the wrong idea about me and Gabe. She basically told me I’d lose my chance at that promotion if I pursued a relationship with him. It makes me wonder if my past promotions were due to my talent or Evan.” The thought made her cringe.
“You’re a very talented artist.”
Louisa gave her a quick hug. “You’re my grandmother. You’re supposed to say that.”
Gram reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I believe in you, Lou-lou. Whatever happens, you’ll come out okay. You always do.”
Louisa kissed the old woman’s cheek. “Thanks, Gram.”
“Okay. On to the second thing you said. Refresh my old memory. Something about Evan. Don’t tell me you two are calling it quits?” Hope colored her words.
“I thought you liked Evan.”
Gram popped another chocolate into her mouth. “I do, I do. But he’s the perfect Rhodes husband. You’ll become a clone of your mother if you marry him. Don’t get me wrong. I love my daughter, but you never knew her like I did. Before she married your father, she was very much like you. You just see her as an elegant, proper, materialistic B-word.” Gram waved a hand at Louisa’s stunned expression. “Well, she is. But she didn’t used to be like that. She was light-hearted, carefree—”
“We are talking about my mother, aren’t we?”
Gram nodded. “She wanted to be a dancer. Did you know that?”
Louisa shook her head.
“She planned to pursue that, but then she met Arthur, and her whole life did an about-face.” Gram sighed. “All of a sudden, politics and appearance were everything. No time for something as
frivolous
as dancing. Even though dancing was her passion.”
Gram ate two more chocolates. “Now, I don’t want you to think I don’t love your father. I do, but…” She cleared her throat. It took a while. “I see a lot of parallels between your relationship with Evan and your mom’s with Arthur. With Gabe, you always had spunk and a zest for life that I just don’t see when you’re with Mr. Payne.
“It’s been the same with Beverly. Before your dad, there was this nice boy she was dating. George, I think his name was. Handsome young man. The way he would look at Beverly when he thought no one was looking…Almost brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. Makes me remember my dear old Martin.”
She sniffled and pulled an ancient handkerchief from her sleeve. “But George was
just
a stock boy at the corner grocer with dreams no grander than being manager of that store someday. Didn’t have a prayer when Arthur Rhodes came knocking. Swept your mom off her feet, your dad did. I hate to even say this, but I pushed your parents together. Thought Arthur would offer her a better future than ol’ Georgie. Sometimes I wonder if she would have chosen your father had I not been so persistent.” She sighed and squeezed Louisa’s hand. “But then, we wouldn’t have you and Arty, would we?”
“Mother must not have loved that other guy, then.”
“Mmm.”
Louisa grabbed a chocolate. “What’s all this have to do with me?”
Gram turned and stared her square in the eyes. “Your mother married her Evan.”
Louisa stopped chewing, the smooth confection suddenly tasteless. She forced herself to swallow it.
Gram turned the candy box upside down and nothing came out. “Well, we made fast work of these. Time for bed.” With obvious effort, she stood. “G’night, missie.”
Louisa stayed on that bench long after Gram had gone.
****
“We both know this goes deeper than wanting to help your brother and Sarah.” Evan paused in his pacing to stare at Louisa, hands on his hips. The grandfather clock in the entry hall loudly chimed the hour. After the eighth toll sounded, the ringing echo reverberating softly throughout the penthouse, he said, “Are you still in love with Gabe, is that what you’re trying to tell me?”
“No, Evan!” The cushions of the soft leather couch creaked as she rose and crossed the room to stand in front of him. “I-I think I’m just confused.”
“You’re confused,” he repeated with a scowl. He spun away from her and strode to the window to stare out at the Seattle skyline. “Boy, that says a lot for our relationship, doesn’t it?”
What could she say to that? She crossed her arms over her chest, rubbing her hands up and down her sleeves. Finally, she walked up behind him, her low heels clicking on the hardwood floor, and touched his shoulder. He tensed but didn’t pull away. “Evan. I just wanted to be up front with you about what’s going on.”
He breathed in deeply through his nose, his nostrils flaring. “I think it’s pretty clear you’re having doubts about our relationship.”
“But I’m not!” she blurted. At his dubious look, she amended, “At least I wasn’t before Gabriel came back. He just has this way of getting me all confused about what I do and don’t feel. About what I do and don’t want.” She slid her hand from Evan’s shoulder and skirted around him to stare out the window. The penthouse was on the thirty-second floor of a high-rise apartment building. Every window held breathtaking views of Seattle and its surrounding waters. The bright cityscape reflected in Lake Union below. Normally, she was entranced by the views, but right now, she might as well have been looking at a dingy alleyway for all the pleasure it brought her.
She blew out a long breath and turned to Evan. “Don’t you see? I can’t marry you in good faith until Gabriel and I get everything out in the open.”
Evan rolled his eyes and wouldn’t meet her stare directly. “This is why you haven’t spent the night here for a while, isn’t it? Because you still carry some kind of torch for that scoundrel.”
If this wasn’t such a serious conversation, Louisa might have been tempted to smile at his description of Gabe. “Oh, Evan. Gabe has nothing to do with that.” Well, maybe he did. Okay,
yes
. “I’ve just been so busy.” Busy thinking about Gabe. “And I haven’t been sleeping well.” Because she’d been thinking about Gabe. And dreaming about him. She cleared her throat. “I guess I just haven’t, ah, been in the mood.”
Evan scowled. “So what’s his ulterior motive?”
“I told you. To help Arty and Sarah.” She couldn’t meet his gaze, because she knew all too well what Gabe’s other motive was.
Her
. Unwanted excitement rippled across her skin at the thought.
“You’re going to do this, aren’t you?” Evan interrupted, another frown darkening his features. “You’re going away with him, aren’t you?”
“You make it sound like a romantic getaway, which it wouldn’t be.”
“Are you sure about that, Louisa?”
She looked away, not sure of anything anymore.
“Well, that’s great. That’s just great.” Hurt and anger etched his face. The fine lines around his blue eyes deepened, making him look older than his forty-four years. He shoved his fingers through the silvery hair at his temples. “I don’t understand how you could even consider this after everything he put you through. Have you forgotten how he treated you, how he abandoned you? You’re just setting yourself up for another big fall.”
Louisa ran a finger along the polished wooden sill, focusing on the slight smudge her skin made on the shiny surface. A faint scent of lemon oil hung in the air. The housekeeper must have been here today.
“I’m not setting myself up for anything, and of course I haven’t forgotten how he left me,” she said quietly. “But he and I have never really talked about it. Things just happened so fast back then, and we were so at odds with each other that we never—” She drew a long breath into her lungs then looked at Evan. “He wasn’t the only one at fault, Evan. You know the old saying,
it takes two…
” She shrugged.
He snorted and looked away. He rested his chin against his fist, elbow supported by his crossed arms. “Do your parents know?”
“No. There’s nothing for them to know.”
That seemed to placate him a bit. After a moment, he uncrossed his arms, letting them fall limply to his sides. “I guess I know where this is headed.” When she didn’t respond, he added, “I suppose you’ll be giving me back the ring?”
She clutched her ringed hand to her chest, the prongs digging into the fleshy pad of her palm. “Evan, no! We’re not breaking up. It’s not over between us. That’s not what this about. That’s not what I want.”