Demon Storm: Belador book 5 (26 page)

“If only we could talk to him,” Kai said with a deep sadness, “We’d know how to help him.”

Evalle had a momentary urge to reach for Kai’s hands to comfort the spirit guide, but she wasn’t sure touching was allowed in this realm. Storm was the one who had taught Evalle that touch could be comforting instead of painful.

She shook that off and said, “When I traveled the first time to Mitnal and found him, Storm was in human form. He told me then that once he turned into his jaguar then failed to shift right back that his demon blood from Nadina would take over. He wouldn’t be able to return to his human self. That he would be gone ... forever. He’s been jaguar for the past hour I know of and I have no idea how long before that.”

The pain of saying those words crushed her heart.

How can I live without Storm in my world?

“If that is the case, Evalle, then you can
not
leave him this way. Storm would never want to remain a demon. You must free him.”

That took a moment to sink in. “You want me to
kill
Storm?” Evalle fought against the bile climbing her throat. “I can’t do that.”

“Would you want to remain a demon forever? Would you rather those with VIPER or some other being found Storm and committed worse upon him?”

“What could be worse?”

“There are others more powerful than Nadina who would take control of someone with Storm’s powers.”

Like Adrianna, but Evalle couldn’t see the Sterling witch as a threat to Storm. “I won’t let that happen.”

Kai’s lips softened with understanding. “You must realize now that Storm most likely fought that demon for you because once you killed Nadina you took control of Storm. You became his new master.”

Thanks for destroying what hope I’d clung to that his fighting the demon had been a tiny sign he still cared
. Evalle couldn’t even consider the idea of being anyone’s master. She started thinking out loud. “I’ll keep him safe. I’ll take him to my underground apartment and–”

“No,” Kai said, cutting her off. “That’s no different than putting him in a cage and you would never be able to have anyone around him. Not even your little gargoyle.”

How did Kai know about Feenix? “Storm wouldn’t–”

“
Storm
would never harm that gargoyle, but the demon sleeping in Storm’s house isn’t the man you knew, if what you’ve told me is true.”

Everything was falling apart.

Kill Storm? Watch the life slide out of his body?

A scream started building inside and Evalle wasn’t sure if she could hold it back. She couldn’t do it. Save Storm by killing him? She’d sooner harm Tzader or Quinn.

And if she couldn’t save Storm then there was no hope of bringing Brina or Lanna back, which would destroy Tzader and cripple Quinn. If the warrior queen didn’t return to the castle, all the Beladors faced destruction in a war with the Medb.

Casualties kept piling up around Evalle’s feet, because she was failing everyone who depended on her.

Kai said, “I am sorry that I have nothing to offer you for your tribe or your Belador queen. If you cannot bring Storm back to his human body, you owe it to him to not leave him as he is.”

Kai’s face swirled into a blur along with the scenery, then everything faded.

Evalle sat there numb from pain overload. Tears ran down her face. Give her a legion of demons to kill and she’d face them to protect Storm, Tzader, Quinn ... all her Beladors, but she’d rather use her blade to cut out her own heart than touch Storm with deadly intent.

The scream crawled higher up her throat.

Allowing it to escape would be admitting defeat, but she felt defeated. She covered her face and sobbed. How could she finally have found her place with the Beladors and a man who loved her only to face watching her world shatter around her?

A jaguar roared.

She clamped her hands over her ears to dull the sound of fury.

She’d always loved how beautiful Storm was in jaguar form, but right now the longer he remained as an animal just drove home the fact that her Storm was gone.

He roared again.

She jumped up and ran into the living room, screaming at him. “
Stop it! Stop being a jaguar.
You are better than this Storm.” Her voice cracked and tears streamed down her face. “You are
not
a demon.” 

He studied her as one would a piece of furniture. No recognition in those eyes. Sitting up like a well-mannered house cat that happened to weigh as much as the sofa, he continued to watch her meltdown without any reaction.

She swiped at her tears, but the damned things kept leaking out. Would they ever end? She’d never been one to cry, but she’d never lost something as precious as Storm and his love.

She whispered in a voice too tired to hold back anything. “I’m sorry about your soul. I’m so, so sorry. I know you’re in there. Why aren’t you trying to come back? Just do it and I’ll do anything to fix this.”

You owe it to him to not leave Storm as a demon
.

Kai’s words scraped through Evalle’s mind with the jagged edge of broken glass.

Would Storm do that for Evalle if she’d been turned into a demon?

No, he’d fight with his last breath to save her. He’d always known how to get through to her. He’d laid siege to her heart that had never had a chance against his love.

That truth drove her to stiffen her resolve. She would give him no less than he would do for her.

If only she knew how to reach him.

She needed a shower to clear her mind. She would not quit without a fight. What she wouldn’t give to go back to the last time they were in the bedroom together and he’d carried her to the shower.

After he’d loved her for hours.

Storm was a sexual man who couldn’t keep his hands off her once he’d broken through her emotional walls. A fierce lover.

An idea burrowed into her thoughts.

She took in Storm’s jaguar face and wondered if she could force a change by dangling something he wanted in front of him.

She had no idea how to act sexy and felt stupid trying this, but if it caused him to shift back to human she’d dance naked through VIPER. She unhooked the robe and let it puddle at her feet, leaving her as naked as the day she was born.

Still no flicker of interest.

Seriously? There went what little ego she possessed.

Maybe she should try that in the middle of a room full of men. Would that get his attention?

Kai had to be shaking her head and muttering about Evalle being delusional or in denial.

His spirit guide was probably right, but Evalle was just as possessive of Storm as he was of her. He’d once made it clear that she belonged to him and that worked both ways. She could be just as stubborn as he was.

Reaching for the robe to carry to the shower, she stopped.

Storm
did
have a possessive streak a mile wide.

He hadn’t liked finding her and Tristan together in the jungle one bit, but he’d been downright hostile over the idea of Isak coming around her.

Would Storm just let his
mate
walk away to be with someone else?

The idea scrambling through her mind couldn’t be any more humiliating than what she’d just done. But it might get her killed.

At this point, that would be an improvement over living with Storm’s indifference.

Determined more than ever to break through his thick skull, she tried her best to deliver her lines with a flippant tone. “You know what, Storm? Fine, if that’s it between us, then that’s it. I accept your decision to end our relationship.”

Storm stretched his neck and rolled to his side again, yawning.

Fuck!
She snatched up her robe and strode out of the room, but not before she yelled over her shoulder, “Isak will sure as hell be
thrilled
you’ve tossed in the towel. All I have to do is call him. At least he’ll
talk
to me.” 

She threw the robe in a corner when she reached the supersized bathroom, one of the best upgrades to the sixty-year-old house. She wrenched on the water jets inside the glass shower, stepped under the scalding heat and leaned forward against the tile, allowing the water to run down her back.

Her shoulders shook with tremors, but she would not shed another tear.

She might shed some blood, though, if that’s what it took to get through to him. He’d bitten her when she’d been in gryphon form and backed off. In that one instant, she wanted to believe that he’d recognized her blood as his mate.

As someone he would not harm.

But how could she get them back to that point of recognition without attacking him?
Hard to convince someone you love him when you’re drawing blood.

“I can do this,” she coached herself, because talking allowed her to avoid thinking about how to accomplish an impossible task. “I can do this. I just need a shower so I can think then I’ll–”

A roar boomed inside the bathroom.

Fear skated across Evalle’s naked skin.

T
he shower door was wrenched open.

Evalle flipped around, her back against the tile and water coming from all directions, splattering Storm’s beautiful teak-colored skin.

On Storm’s
human
body.

Hallelujah!

But the celebration music shriveled in her mind when she looked up to see red demon eyes. Words clogged in her throat.

His hands hung tense at the sides of his naked body. Claws extended from his fingers then retracted.

O-
kay
. She swallowed and said, “You changed to your human form. That’s a ... good sign.”

“You will not go to Isak.”

Foolish or not, her heart did a backflip at the threat in his voice. She’d normally get in his face to tell him that he had no say over her actions, but now was the time to keep everything as calm as possible.

She nodded. “If you say so.”

“Ever,” he demanded.

“Ever.”

He spun away to step out of the shower.

What the hell? How was she supposed to move forward from this? “Storm, talk to me.”

He paused. Muscles rippled across his beautiful back and his biceps flexed once. “Now is not a good time.”

Bullshit. “Later is going to be much worse. If you’re mad at me, then say so. But I’ve been terrified that you’d never make it back to human form. You walk in here, demand your way and walk out. If you’re done with me ...”  She fought to get the words out. “Done with
us
. Then say so, but–”  What could she say? “Please don’t do this.”

Now that he’d shifted, Evalle should be thinking about going to Treoir, but she couldn’t bring herself to say the Beladors needed him right now.

Storm had always done everything
for
her. He needed her right now, whether he realized it or not. She would take care of him first, then the rest.

He still didn’t turn around when he ordered, “Stay away from me.”

His words cut so deep she should be spewing blood. Pain and fear were a bad combination for her. It brought out her own aggression and anger, much easier emotions for her to deal with. “That’s pretty fucking clear, Storm. Fine. Go. I can accept you being a demon, but you can’t even talk to me. Coward.”

A blur of motion was the only warning she got before Storm had her pinned with her back against the tile and her arms shoved over her head.

He leaned into her. A feral sound rumbled deep in his throat.

Those red eyes were an inch from her face, warning her.

His strength had been undeniable before, but now she could feel the explosive power he had barely tethered. She might be able to stop him from killing her, but only if she could bring herself to use deadly force.

With him growling, she hoped whatever she said or did would not push him back into shifting, but they couldn’t go on like this. She lifted her chin. “You don’t scare me.”

The growl picked up volume.

What was he thinking? Feeling?

She wanted to stroke his head and kiss him, to show him that together they could do whatever it took to save him from being a demon forever. She repeated the only words she knew. “Come back to me, Storm. I refuse to quit on you.”

“You just won’t listen, will you?” Each word came out hard and biting. “I. Am. Not. Storm. Not the one you remember. I’ve gone all the way to demon.”

She shook her head with stubborn determination. “You might have been forced into becoming a demon, but your Navajo blood still flows through your body, strong and just as demanding as the Ashaninka blood. Use what you inherited to fight back.”

“If my Navajo blood was true, my eyes would still be yellow as a jaguar and brown as a man.”

He had a point, but he was talking and that had to be positive, right?

She lifted her stubborn chin at him. “Red, yellow, brown. Eyes do not dictate who you are.”

“Not if you have a soul.”

I should have seen that coming.
She’d flinched at the bull’s eye shot and might as well deal with it now. “I wish there had been another way, but Nadina was going to kill you.”

“You should have let her.” 

Hearing the disappointment in his voice was almost as heartbreaking as his order to stay away from him. Evalle would nurse her broken heart later. “Well, I
didn’t
allow you to die and if that was the wrong decision I can live with it.”

“You think so?” he asked, a sarcasm she’d never heard directed at her.

“I know so.”

“In that case, you’re now the proud owner of a demon.” He backed off and turned once more to leave.

Evalle took a step and put her hands on his shoulders. She leaned against his back, inhaling his scent.

His body shook hard once. His voice was tight and raw. “Stay away from me. Don’t you get that I have no control?”

Did that mean he wanted to touch her, but was afraid of what he’d do? The fact that he’d warned her had to mean there was a glimmer of the Storm that she knew still inside.

She turned her face to kiss the wet skin on his back.

He sucked in a breath and growled. “
Evalle!
”