Demons Don’t Dream (32 page)

"Okay. So Jenny and I will head in just as if we are surprised by all of this, and let the invisible giant drive us into the cave. One thing you can do for me, Jenny, if you will: you lead the way into the cave, so that Pewter sees you first. I want him to think it's Kim, until the last moment."

"You do have a plan," she said appreciatively.

"I do. It may not work, but I'll give it the old college try." He turned to Sherlock. "If I lose, I won't come out of that cave. But if Jenny calls the Demon Game Master, and explains how you got stranded here because of the Player, maybe he'll tell you where to go. A place for your Wave, I mean. It's worth a shot."

"Don't worry about that," Sherlock said. “I’m coming in with you. I want to see this dread machine."

Somehow Dug wasn't surprised. Sherlock hadn't backed off from anything yet "Okay. If you want to follow Jenny in, it'll really surprise the machine. Then I'll appear, and try to polish him off with my sneak play."

"It's sure got me fooled," Sherlock said. "You've just been really sick, and you still don't seem all the way recovered despite that healing water, yet you're eager to get back into the fray."

"Maybe I'm just a crazy teenager," Dug said, smiling.

"Crazy like a fox, maybe."

"Foxes aren't crazy," Jenny protested, "They're pretty smart Like wolves," She looked momentarily pensive.

No one commented. They walked out into the path leading by the cave.

Soon there was a shuddering of the ground. Trees crashed in the distance. "Hey, there's a meteor crashing!" Sherlock said.

"No, that's just the giant. I think he won't actually step on us. Remember to spook when he gets close."

There was another crash, and a giant footprint appeared. "No problem!" Sherlock said.

They spooked. They ran down the path, away from the approaching giant steps. The mouth of the cave appeared, and they scooted into it just ahead of the last footprint. So far so good.

Jenny ran ahead, toward the dim light of the interior chamber. Sherlock followed. "Good thing we found this cave," he called. "That monster almost squished us."

"It's Com-Pewter's cave!" Jenny cried. "Quick, we must get out of it!"

There was a pause. Then she spoke again. "No, we must go on inside."

Dug, hanging back, smiled. Pewter had written a change on his screen.

"I don't like the look of this," Sherlock said. Then: "But maybe it's okay."

Dug moved quietly toward Pewter's chamber, where the two were now standing.

"But Sherlock's not the Player!" Jenny protested. "He's just a fellow traveler."

Dug saw a big question mark on the screen. Pewter had been caught by surprise! He had assumed that Jenny was escorting a Player, and that Sherlock was that player. Exactly as Dug had hoped. The evil machine's circuits had to be in turmoil. Now was his chance.

He strode boldly forward. "No, I am the Player," he said. "I have come to stop your clock, you crock of refuse."

The screen flickered. DUG MUNDANE! ERROR!

"No error, capacitor face. I fought my way back, just so I could settle your metallic hash."

YOU COULD NOT HAVE. NOT WITH YOUR COMPANION.

"Well, I did! And I changed Companions along the way. Which you didn't anticipate, did you, screen-for-brains?"

CHANGE PROGRAM. ADAPT FOR SMART-POSTERIOR MUNDANE TEEN. RECOMPILE. The screen went black while the recompilation proceeded.

Dug didn't give it the change to complete its operation. "And here's how I'm going to do it, you nutty and bolty contraption. On my return route I picked up the Germ of an Idea and here it is." He brought out the bit of fluff and dropped it on the machine.

REJECTED! the screen printed desperately.

"And a bugseed," Dug continued relentlessly. "That'll put a bug in your program, for sure."

REJECTED! The screen was flickering.

"And here's the piece of resistance," Dug said. "Pardon my French." He lifted the flower from his buttonhole. "My third offering to you, which you can't refuse, because you've already rejected my first two." He held the flower above the screen. "A New Monia posy. That will give you a virus, for sure." He dropped it

A VIRUS! NONONONOOOO ...

"Tough turnips," Dug said cruelly. "He who lives by the pun, dies by the pun. You've been infected, wirebrain. In other words, YOU LOSE."

The screen went crazy. Characters and symbols flowed across it in weird patterns. Then the words GENERAL SYSTEM FAILURE appeared. Then the letters fell from the words and collected in a pile at the bottom of the screen. The screen faded into black.

"Let's get out of here," Dug said, satisfied. "This pile of junk has nothing for us."

They walked out through the passage. Sammy was happy to show the way. "What kind of logic was that?” Sherlock inquired. "What's this rule about not rejecting three things?”

"Computers are logical but not sensible," Dug said smugly. "In Pewter's state of confusion, it seemed to make sense. But I probably could have taken him out anyway with the New Monia, just by throwing it at him. Because a virus is a virus, and that one was good and potent. You saw what it did to me."

"That flower!" Jenny exclaimed. “I should have realized!"

"That's why I made it seem like just a decoration," Dug said. "I figured if you didn't catch on, Pewter wouldn't either—until I told him. In Mundania a living virus and a computer virus are two different things, but in Xanth they have to be the same. So I punned him to death."

"That was brilliant!" Sherlock said.

Dug smiled. "Elementary."

The giant was nowhere to be seen. Of course that didn't mean anything. But he wasn't heard, either, so they proceeded along the path unmolested.

"I think you're going to do well in this game," Jenny said.

"Maybe, maybe not. I just make it a point to learn from my mistakes. My first mistake was having eyes only for Nada Naga. My second was not taking puns seriously. So I dumped Nada, and now I'm playing the game to win. But the truth is, I'm just in it for the challenge and the fun now. I think this is a great, if foolish, adventure."

"Well, your next challenge should be the Good Magician's castle," Jenny said.

"One thing nagging me," Sherlock said. "Maybe nothing."

"Nothing's nothing here," Dug said. "What's your point?"

"You mentioned Nada Naga. I can see why you found her distracting. So did I. But mere was something funny about her."

"Well, she's a princess," Jenny said. "They tend to be sort of reserved. Except for Princess Electro, who wears blue jeans."

"It's not that She's a lovely creature, and a good lady. But there was something about her. When you said how a False Companion would just have let you be sick, something nagged at me. I finally figured it out Nada would have let you go."

"No she wouldn't," Dug said. "I'll never forget how she fought to help me douse the censor-ship!"

“The what?”

"That was in my first game session. The one I wiped out on with Pewter. But that was my doing; Nada was in my corner all the way, except when I tried to sneak a peek at her panties, and even then she welcomed me back. I know she's human under the princessly mantle."

"Certainly she is," Jenny agreed. "She's a good person. She was willing to marry Prince Dolph, despite not loving him, because he loved her and her family needed the liaison with the human folk. Then she got in trouble with the gourd realm, really by accident, so now she's serving her time with the demons, in this game. Same as I am. But she always does her best, and she's always nice.'*

"I'm sure she is," Sherlock said doggedly. "I could see that myself. Maybe that's why I picked up on the wrongness. It was as if she felt guilty for something. Something relating to you, Dug. I saw it when she looked at you, when you weren't looking at her."

"She has no cause to feel guilty about me," Dug said. "I was the one who died to sneak a peek at her body. She had warned me not to, but I—" He shrugged. "I was young and foolish. She never did anything wrong."

"Of course she didn't," Jenny agreed. "She would never do anything wrong. The very notion would tear her up." Then her eyes widened. "Oh, no!" she breathed.

"Right" Sherlock took a breath. "So how would she react if she maybe got selected as a False Companion, the second time around?"

Dug was stunned. "It could be different each time, couldn't it! She could be True the first time, and False the second time. Still, it's hard to believe that she could—"

"She wouldn't exactly have a choice. She had to play by the rules of the game."

"I remember now," Jenny said. "She was the one who suggested that you exchange Companions. Could it be because she didn't want to be False to you, Dug?"

Dug's mind was spinning. Suddenly little things were clicking into place. Why had Com-Pewter been so sure that he couldn't fight his way back, with his Companion? Maybe because the evil machine had known she was False, just waiting for the perfect opportunity to wash him out Why had Nada been reserved in little ways, when she had been more open before? Her attitude had subtly changed, as if she were possessed of some secret sadness. Exactly as would be the case if she were required to turn traitor to the one she had before been pledged to help.

The more he pondered it, the more certain he became that it was true. Nada was a False Companion. She had not tried to torpedo him, because he wasn't far enough along to make it really count. Too soon, and he would just come back in another game and take another Companion, or take her again, when she wasn't False. So she would wait, hoping that he would wash out on his own. But if he didn't, and was about to win the prize, then she would arrange to betray him, making him forfeit his victory.

Now that he knew this, he could anticipate that betrayal, and reject her advice at the critical time. If she said the left fork had the prize, he could take the right fork. The key was in judging just when she was going to pull her act of betrayal. Forewarned was forearmed, but it would still be tricky.

Still, it hurt to know that she was now his secret enemy. He had given up on trying to see her panties, but had hoped to win her favor. Now that was impossible. "Brother!" he muttered. "She's like another virus, lurking to destroy the one she's with."

"Good thing you switched Companions, eh?" Sherlock said.

"I didn't switch for that reason," Dug said. "I didn't realize—" Then he got the point "Kim! Now she's got the False Companion! She's in trouble!"

"It means she'll lose," Sherlock agreed.

“Unless she can play again, and get back into it. But by that time I may have won the prize. It's not fair."

"So?" Sherlock inquired.

Dug came to his decision. "So I'm going to find her and warn her, or take back my False Companion! I'm not going to let her take the fall for me."

"You'll have trouble finding her. You'll likely have to go off the game routes."

"I know. It'll be rough. Not right to put you through that So I guess this is where we part company. I'm sorry we didn't find any good places for your folk to settle. But maybe you can go down to the Good Magician's castle and ask him. Jenny can tell you how to get there, I'm sure."

"Forget it" Sherlock said. "I'm not leaving you yet I just, wanted to be sure you'd say what I thought you'd say."

"But this is no longer the game, really," Dug protested. "If I mess up, I'm just out of it But if you get in trouble, your people will suffer. You've got more at risk than I do."

"More to gain, too. How do we know where I'll find a good place? It may be in the middle of some area you never were slated to cross. I might as well take a look at it and a party of three can travel better than a party of two."

"Especially when one gets sick," Dug agreed, relieved. "Glad to have you along, then." He turned to Jenny. "Where do you think they went, and where can we best intercept them?"

"Sammy will know," she said.

The cat jumped down. "Wait for me!" Jenny cried, dashing after him.

They were on their way.

 Kim was sweaty-hot, stinging-scratched, and worn-out fatigued. This might be a game, not quite real, but it felt distressingly real right now. Bubbles Dog did not seem much better off, though she didn't complain. "Oh, we'll just have to rest,"  Kim said.

She found a spreading tree with wide ridged roots radiating out She sat down, leaning back against the trunk, and pulled the dog into her. "What did I get you into, Bubbles?" she asked rhetorically. "You're old; you don't want to struggle through wilderness like this! Maybe I should have left you in that floating bubble."

Bubbles whined, her tail dropping low.

 Kim hugged her. "No, I couldn't have done that! You needed someone to adopt you, and I guess I needed a pet I never had a dog before. I'm glad I found you."

A huge serpent appeared. Its head changed, becoming human. "Oh, there you are," Nada said. "I thought I'd lost you."

"We're just so tired," Kim confessed. "This perpetual jungle! Are you sure there isn't some easier route to the Good Magician's castle?"