Denial (39 page)

The injury tempers my arousal, giving me an opportunity to fuck her as hard as I can and she comes again, then I back off because I might hurt her like I did before. I can make up for it by playing with her nipples, and she loves it. Satisfying her defines my own satisfaction now. I try to change positions, but she protests pathetically and struggles to stay in my arms, so I relent. This is exactly where I want to be anyway. It’s so much better when I can look at her face.

I am going to keep making you come until you’re so relaxed you can’t hold on to me
. A thin line of blood trickles out of the bite down my bicep and chest, but she’s so out of it she doesn’t even notice and can’t care. It’s a good thing her hair is so ridiculously thick because I’m sure I pulled a lot of it out. She bit me, and she likes it when I bite her, even though I would never break the skin, never on purpose anyway, and I’d like to think that I’m not capable of it at all.

I love it when Maya is limp in my arms like this even though I long to feel her hands on me. She’s completely mine now. My lips claim her throat, her neck, her shoulders, and that beautiful clavicle that I can’t get enough of. Every piece of skin that abomination of a collar ever fucking touched. In this moment, it’s mine, just like the rest of her. This is
my
fucking mouth and
my
fucking pussy. My eyes that can’t stay open, my fingers that can’t grab a hold of anything, my legs that have gone limp around me, and my perfect tits bouncing as I pound
my
fucking body. This ass in my hands is mine, and I’ll claim that soon because she’s almost ready.

I kiss her below the ear, that spot is totally mine, she even told me, along with my place in her hair.
Every screech and moan, every shudder, every fucking orgasm, and every last drop that pours out of her, and it has only ever poured out for me. It’s all mine for this beautiful fleeting moment. If I get my way, if I somehow become the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, the rest of her will be mine too, she will feel what I do every time she looks at me. And there will be nothing fleeting about it because this is eternal.

Her eyes flicker open. Shit. She might have seen that bite. I pull her head back as she screams my name so she can’t look at it. Another orgasm ripples through her body, the most perfect body in the world and it always will be because it houses
her
. And just in case this is the last time I’m privileged enough to visit this temple, I thrust just a little too hard, and suck this nipple using just a little too much pressure. I want her to feel my presence tomorrow if this is all I’m going to get. Because I am going to feel hers for the rest of my life, and now that I’ve done this, it might be very short.

One of her perfect little fingers grazes my hipbone and I collapse, implode, whatever it is that happens when I disappear and the only thing that matters is holding her, the warmth of her neck against my face and the scent of her skin as I release inside of her as deep as I can. I can’t hold back anymore, so I pull her into me and scream out a sob into her neck. She comes to life in my arms, cradling my head, whispering my name into my ear as this goes on and on, longer than it ever has, longer than I thought was physically possible. Even after it’s over, I can’t let her go, I can’t stop shaking, and I have no chance in hell at fighting these tears anymore, so I finally allow them to pour out of me onto her. And she lets me, kissing my neck, my shredded shoulder.

I only lose it for a few seconds, but that’s all it takes for me to feel too ashamed to look at her. Maya doesn’t seem offended though, because as soon as I’m out of her, she’s on that bite in a flash. So much for relaxing her enough to pass out.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” she laments. I can’t have that so I pull her face to mine and kiss her. She pulls away, and I take her back until she gives up and lets me keep her mouth.

“Stop it,” I say sternly when I hear her curse herself again.

“Isaac, this is really bad.”

It’s not. It feels like I fought with a zombie and lost, but it’s this perfect oval of her tiny mouth, just her front teeth and fangs, not even two inches long and half as wide. I find my shirt, which thankfully is black, and pull it over my head. Maya rolls her eyes at me and tries to pull it off, so I grab her wrists, making her gasp.

“I said fucking stop it.”

“Isaac…” her lips tremble. Goddammit. Just when I think I’ve gotten a little control, she shows me who really does and who always will.

“Fine.” I pull my shirt back off and let her do her thing.

“I’m so sorry,” she sobs. Fuck. She grabs my shirt out of my hand while I’m distracted and tucks it under her knees. What the fuck? I try to stop myself from smiling, but it’s impossible. She thinks she’s just so fucking clever, and she’s right.

“Maya, it’s okay.”

“This is not okay, Isaac,” she snaps. That tone should make me angry but it doesn’t. She’s done enough and it’s not bleeding anymore. I pull her hands away and kiss every finger. Shit. She is really upset, so I bring her into my lap.

“Hey,” I whisper, rocking her back and forth. “Baby, stop crying. Please. It’s fucking killing me.” She’s trying and failing. “Talk to me, Maya.”

“It just scares me.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, it scares me that I do that. And that I don’t remember it.”

“Well, it doesn’t scare me.”

She emerges from my neck and I lick every tear and kiss her until I almost get a giggle. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I guess I can’t blame her for pressing me on this one, but I don’t think I’ll be so tolerant of this constant second-guessing in the future. She left my shirt exposed when I moved her, so I grab for it, but not before she does. Now this is about to turn in to a tug of war.
“Maya, it’s not even that bad.” That face is so full of defiance. I can’t get enough of it. “I promise. I’m just a bleeder, I always have been.”

She stares at me, her eyes dropping for a second to my crotch before she crawls back into my lap and kisses me. Who am I kidding? I’ll tolerate everything she throws at me and then some, but if I can somehow manage to convince her that I won’t, maybe I’ll gain a little ground here. Yet I drop my half of the shirt, unable to pull it out of her hands even though it would be easy. Her lips spread into a triumphant grin. She is going to win every single fucking battle, I can already tell.

Everything goes black for a split second as she pulls it over my head. My arms get tangled up as I take this opportunity to conceal the way she wounded me so it stops wounding her. They want to be back around her so bad I thrash in frustration. Giggling, that perfect sound, she tries to pull my sleeve out of itself so that my arm can finish its journey, but I can’t move because our eyes meet and it floors me. I lean forward and kiss her, my hands bound by this stupid shirt, concentrating the sensation in my mouth because I can’t touch her.

My arms don’t go along with that for long, freeing themselves so they can hold her. We have one mouth that can’t be separated for a while as she sinks into my chest. When she wraps her fingers around my inappropriate desire, I pull back.

“Not again, Maya.” And I’m not yielding on this. Hopefully. She groans and grabs me harder. I need to get some pants on. Fast. “Seriously.” I circle her wrists in my fingers and pin them against my chest. It makes her gasp and pant, her arousal so obvious that it drives mine higher. Fuck. But her eyes are swollen and the tiny capillaries around them are broken. To say she’s had a rough night would be an understatement. She needs to sleep.

“Isaac…” I stiffen up down there and liquefy inside. She knows exactly what she’s doing. So fucking clever.

“I can’t. I’ll hurt myself again.” I can be clever too.

Her eyes widen with concern, making mine burn a little. “Oh. Sorry.” She’s disappointed. Fuck. She wins again.

“I can lick you.”
Until you pass out and get some sleep
.

“No, that’s okay.”

Her arms seize me by the neck. I think she wants to stay close to me, and as much as I keep trying not to get my hopes up, they already are. There’s nothing I can do about it now. I keep her against me for a minute and almost forget my quest for pants until she grabs me again and groans.
Maya, Maya, Maya. You are going to kill me
. “I’m getting dressed.”

I pull her wandering hand away and can’t choose which finger to kiss, so I kiss them all before I shift out from under her. She whines and grumbles. It’s so fucking adorable. I get my pants on and briefly ponder if I should tuck my shirt into them, but that might be taking it a little too far, plus I’ll look like a nerd.

“I want snuggly clothes, too.” She sounds like a brat and that is so hot. There was a hint of her native tongue in there too, making it even hotter.

“Okay. We’ll sleep in the other room.”
Because you squirted all over this one
.

I get up and grab her hand, but she’s hesitant to follow me. Actually, I probably should go in there first and look around for any triggers that might remind her of earlier in the day. Like that fucking collar on the floor that I’m going to burn one of these days.

“Come with me, but stay in the hallway for a minute. I’ll clean up and grab you some pajamas, then you can come in.” She doesn’t want to tell my no with words, so her face does it for her. “Hey.” I lean into her and kiss her forehead. “Don’t be afraid of that room. You remember what we did in there, right? That was more important than tonight.”
For me anyway
.

She nods and smiles, kissing my chest, making me curse the necessity of this shirt. “Yeah,” she squeaks.

I leave her in the hallway, scrambling to usher away everything that might upset her as quickly as possible, grabbing Luke’s collar, that pillow she was holding, and searching until I find the photo album so I can tuck it all away in the closet. Then I dig through the bag she never really unpacked for something comfortable, hopefully those yoga pants that made her ass look fantastic and the shirt I got for her because it was really soft.

This stupid bag is full of lingerie that I wish I could say I’d love to see her in, but all of it is tainted by him and leaves an oily slick on my fingers. There’s nothing else in here, so I move to the dresser and find the very few articles of actual clothing she has brought folded up in the drawer.

“Alright, you can come in here,” I urge, after I shove that bag of bullshit into the closet where it belongs.

She saunters through the door, yawning, wearing nothing but that massive hair. It’s so beautiful, she is so fucking beautiful, I could stare at her forever. But I hand her the sof
t-shirt and ass pants and watch while she climbs into them. She’s even more adorable dressed up and now that her naked body isn’t talking to my traitorous cock, I can appreciate how great it is to have torso full of flipping and flopping mashed up organs.

“So now we get to stay together every night?” she asks, flopping on the bed, that native tongue affecting my heart even more than it affects my dick.

I can’t crawl next to her fast enough. “Yeah, we can.”

She’s so tired her eyelids won’t open and she’s trying, so I kiss them to keep them shut. Mumbling my name, she snuggles up to my chest as I hold her, completely unraveling me to my core. This is amazing and I don’t think I can live without it now that I’ve had it. One taste just isn’t going to be enough.

As tempting as it is to stay awake to watch her sleep, I force my eyes shut and inhale her scent through her hair. The faster I fall asleep, the more energy I’ll have to take care of her in the morning. She might be a train wreck again. She might want to leave. But she’s here right now, peaceful in my arms, and since it might be the last time, I try to enjoy it as much as I can with this doubt hovering over me.
Please be here when I wake up. Please.

She isn’t. It’s one of those nights where I close my eyes and it feels like they open a few seconds later, but light has replaced darkness outside of the windows. I’m in the same position I was when I fell asleep, but there’s nothing in my arms.

I panic, jumping out of the bed so quickly that my feet get tangled in the covers, nearly making me fall. But I have no time for that, so I recover just as fast, tumble into the hallway, and start running. This is not happening. She wouldn’t have left me, not without saying anything, she just wouldn’t do that.

It’s a short hall, but it takes forever to get to the end, my feet catching painfully on the end of the large rug as I finally make it into the living room. It’s empty, but when I look over into the kitchen Maya is standing near the stove, bringing a brownie up to her lips. I watch her as she savors it slowly with eyes closed. My racing heart slows and sputters. For a brief moment, I don’t have to worry about what’s going to happen next and everything I need to say to her. I can just watch her enjoying a forbidden indulgence before I go join her.

3
1

This is amazing. It’s like a chocolate explosion, sweet, soft, and gooey. What is it about doing something you’re not supposed to that makes it that much better? My body starts to tingle and I know that Isaac is watching at me without even opening my eyes, though it could have something to do with listening to him tumbling down the hallway.