Denouement (9 page)

“She was awake a few minutes before you got here. They
had to sedate her, because she went bonkers. She was hysterical. Then the
doctor started telling me about this procedure.” Jessie crouched on the floor.
“Dear God, why is this
happening.
”

“Did you call Chris?” Tobias had to ask. He didn’t
know whether or not Marietta would want to see him when she woke up. She needed
someone who would be her strength and at that moment Jessie wasn’t a stellar
candidate.

“I tried, but he’s in some jungle somewhere. But I
already talked to McKay, he said he’ll try and help us reach him.” Jessie eased
back on the wall and sighed. “I just want to close my eyes and wake up at home.
You can’t leave again because I don’t know how to handle this.”

“I can’t leave her now.”

“You can’t leave her ever.” It sounded more like a
warning than a request.

There was something that didn’t register with Tobias.
The last time he and Marietta were together was six months ago, she should have
known she was pregnant. Or were they trying to keep it a secret from him.
“Jessie how could she not know?
She must have been at least
six months along. She should have been showing.”

Jessie stood up and flipped through her phone. She
showed him a picture of her and Marietta. “This was taken yesterday. She hasn’t
put on a pound, no morning sickness, no cravings, nothing.”

Tobias didn’t understand
,
Marietta was just as skinny as the last time they’d parted. “Are you sure the
baby is mine?” He wanted to kick himself as soon as the words left his lips.

“She slept with you nine years after Chris. She is in
love with you and six months would have been nothing. Besides she was so
excited to see you tomorrow.”

“She knew I was in the movie?” he asked.

“It’s Marietta. She approves everyone who works on her
set.” A smile flickered on Jessie’s face before she was tearing up again.

Chapter Six

Tobias sat next to Marietta’s bed watching her as she
slept. Each time she tried to turn she whimpered in pain and it cut right
through him. Tobias didn’t know how much more of this he could take. He thought
about leaving when Marietta started crying in her sleep. At first he thought
she was awake, but he called her name a couple of times and she didn’t respond.
He thought about getting into bed with her and holding her. He wanted to
comfort her but he was terrified he would only end up hurting her. So, he sat
by her side and held her hand, his teeth grinding each time she moaned in pain.

Marietta woke up with a start. She was staring into
his
cold eyes, then a wave of pain washed through her, both from her memory and
physically. She opened her eyes and met Jessie’s warm ones staring back at her.
Marietta smiled but when she tried to lift her hand she couldn’t. Shifting her
gaze, she saw her hand trapped in Tobias’ grip.

“How long has he been here?” Marietta looked at him,
her eyes heavy with sleep. She felt so tired for a second she didn’t think she
was awake. But the pain in her back and her abdomen brought her back to
reality. Her heart hurt too. She was shattered and staring into Tobias’ face
wasn’t easing her pain. A tear trickled down her cheek as guilt slammed into
her, how was she going to explain this one?

“He arrived a few minutes after they sedated you. He’s
been here throughout, no bathroom or snack breaks. He just sat there holding
your hand and staring at you.” Jessie stretched her aching body. The sofa
hadn’t been comfortable but it was the only place she could sleep without being
disturbed by the hospital staff, “I, on the other hand had to get a burger.”

Marietta laughed but winced in pain, “Please don’t
make me laugh.”

Jessie held onto to Marietta’s hand, the smile on her
lips gone and the laughter in her eyes replaced by deep concern, “I was scared
for a minute there.
Especially when… when, they asked me what
to do about the baby.
I’m just glad he came when he did.”

“So he knows?” She took a deep breath that seemed to
tremble out of her when she exhaled. “What did he say?”

“I think he still can’t believe it. It might be the
shock or the fact that you are as skinny as a pencil.”

A knot of nerves formed in Marietta’s throat. Her
heart froze in her
chest,
she bit her lip then asked,
“He doesn’t think the baby is his?”

“Can you blame him?”

“I don’t think I can.” Marietta smoothed her hand over
her belly. She still couldn’t believe that she had been walking around all this
while not knowing there was a life growing inside of her. Now that the baby was
no longer there she had this strange edgy feeling of emptiness and loss.

*
* * *

Deep in his sleep Tobias could hear voices. He
shrugged them off until he swore he could hear Marietta’s voice. He opened his
eyes and lifted his head, but he saw Jessie. Then he heard Marietta’s voice. He
whipped his head around and met her gaze. She looked exhausted and in physical
pain. But the look in her eye that Marietta tried to cover with a withering
smile, the pain of loss tore right through him. He rose and put his forehead
against hers. Her skin was warm, warmer than it should be, like she was getting
a fever. But it was the slight tremor that made him pull back and stare
squarely into her face.

Should he say something? Should he give her a hug?
Should he bring up the baby? He didn’t want to say anything about that until
the doctor came and briefed both of them. The previous night he was too on edge
to listen to the doctor. He remembered feeling like the only thing he wanted
and needed was to be close to Marietta. So, without a word he pressed a kiss to
her lips and lifted his lips in a grin.

“You scared me,” he whispered against her lips.

Tobias leaned into her palm as she cupped his face,
turning ever so slightly to kiss into it. A chill shot through him when he
remembered how motionless she was and how she whimpered in pain. Now she lay in
an elevated bed smiling at him, but there was no laughter in her eyes.

Before she could say anything the nurse walked in with
a tray in her hands. She asked them to leave but Tobias refused. He knew that
the nurse was going to clean her surgical wound. He had an idea of how it would
look so he didn’t think it was something he had to run away from. But knowing
and putting on a façade of bravery didn’t stop his stomach from churning.

“She feels a bit warm,” he put in.

The nurse touched Marietta’s forehead and nodded.
“It’s nothing to be worried about but I’ll let the doctor know. Are you sure
you don’t want to step outside?” The nurse gave a final warning before she tore
off the bandage.

Tobias held his own until the second he heard Marietta
cry out in pain. “I think I will wait outside.”

He heard Marietta chuckle as he ducked out.

“Couldn’t take it huh?”

“I’ll just go and get cleaned up. I’ll be back in a
second.” Tobias rushed off.

Tobias returned a few minutes later. He had managed to
get a clean shirt, a tooth brush and some tooth paste from the hospital shop.
He got to Marietta’s room and hovered for a while. He knew the second he walked
in they would have to talk about the baby and he wasn’t too sure how to handle
that topic. There was a lot of doubt in his mind, not because he didn’t trust
Marietta but because he didn’t want to believe he had just lost a child. Tobias
soon realized a small crowd of nurses were beginning to form around him. He
gave them a polite nod then walked into the room.

Their eyes met and for a few seconds they just looked
at each other. He skimmed his gaze over her, there was no physical evidence of
the trauma she had just faced, but her eyes said it all.

“You are a
wuss
,” she
teased, holding her hand out to him.

Tobias closed the gap between them with three large
strides. He held her hand in his and rubbed a kiss against her soft skin. “I
just can’t bear to see you in pain.” He cringed when the memories of the
previous night flooded through his mind.

“What is it?” A frown formed on her lips.

“It’s nothing. I’m just glad you are okay.” He debated
whether he should let her bring up the baby or if he
shouldintroduce
the topic.

But the doctor walked in with the same subject in his
mind. Tobias sat on the bed with Marietta his arm around her shoulder as he
gathered her up against his side. It was as if he was bracing himself and her
too for the impact they were about to get. He willed himself to be brazen, if
not for himself then for Marietta who was now trembling at his side.

“You are healing quite nicely. The nurse told me about
your worries, but it’s normal at this stage.” He cleared his throat realizing
that there was no graceful way to introduce the next subject. “You were around
twenty-five to twenty-seven weeks along. It’s common for women not to show. It
just means that the placenta was in an abnormal position. He might have also
been hiding under your rib cage. The reason you didn’t feel him kick might be
the extra cushion the placenta had formed. ” He sighed. “We are not quite sure,
but the doctors on this case think that he died on impact when the ladder
landed on your back, or soon after your water broke. His heart just stopped
beating.”

“His heart?”
Tobias heard
Marietta whisper. “You keep saying ‘he.’”

“It was a boy.” The doctor nodded.

Marietta burst into a storm of tears and Tobias held
her even tighter as he tried to keep his own emotions at bay. “What are you
going to do with him?”

“That depends on you.” Tobias noticed the doctors flickering
gaze of concern towards Marietta. He had no doubt that the doctor was thinking
about sedating her once more.

“Can we take him and bury him.” Tobias asked.

“Sure.” The doctor gave Marietta a final glance then
left.

“It’s my fault. I should have known. I didn’t know I
swear.”

Tobias didn’t respond to anything she said. He just
held her tighter and rocked her. He was sure that she had cried for a solid
hour. He didn’t dare leave her side, but when Jessie returned he thought he
could get a moment to himself.

“Could you sit with her?” his voice trembled out.

“Sure.” Her voice was as low as his, “Peter, McKenzie
and your parents are here.”

Tobias gave an exasperated sigh, “Fine, call me when
she wakes up. I’ll just be outside.”

Tobias stepped out and all the strength he had when he
was with Marietta escaped him. His emotions sent him to his knees. He leaned
back on the wall, buried his face in his hands and cried. He felt as if his
soul was being ripped out. Not caring who was watching he let the pain that
squeezed his heart sound out through his lips. His mother’s arms were around
him as he watched his father’s lips move. He could hear Peter’s and McKenzie’s
voices but he couldn’t hear what they were saying. The only thing he heard were
Marietta’s heart wrenching cries and he felt useless and powerless.

“She’s a strong girl.” Tobias finally heard McKenzie
say.

But before he had time to register everything else
everyone was saying, Jessie crouched at his side, “She’s awake, and she’s… I
don’t know what she is. She’s not crying but I can see the tears in her eyes.
She’s just staring out the window with this blank expression on her face. I
can’t… I can’t—,”

“It’s fine.” Tobias said as he wiped the tears off his
face, trying to scrub the few seconds of crying he had managed to get in. He
stood up with the help of a million other hands. It was a good thing they all
had their hands on him because he rocked back unsteadily as if he was about to
fall.

“You should have a seat.” Edward Spencer, his father
said.

Tobias stared at him and thought of how he had always
tried to get away from his father’s shadow. But at that moment all he wanted
was his father to hold him. He stepped into his father’s embrace and resigned
himself to the fact that he would never be able to hold his son the same way
his father was holding him.

“It was a boy,” he whispered.

“You need to be strong.” His mother, Elizabeth, said.
“You need to be strong for her. You need to eat something.”

“I can’t. I have to go back inside.” Tobias shook his
shoulders as if to bring his body back to life. “Were you able to reach Chris?”

“Yes, this morning. He’s coming as soon as he can.”
McKenzie answered.

“I know you all want to see her but I don’t know if
she’s going to be up for it.
Maybe later?”
Tobias’
voice cracked with emotion as he walked away from his family.

“I’ll take care of the arrangements,” he heard his
father say.

When he got back in the room he watched Marietta and,
apart from her rising and falling chest, she didn’t move. Her eyes darted
towards him for a second but she quickly looked away. She was trying to hide from
him, but he wouldn’t let her. He climbed into bed with her and gently pulled
her into his side.

“You want to cry?” he asked and she shook her head,
“What do you want to do?” She didn’t answer so he went on, “Do you want to talk
to anyone?”

*
* * *

Marietta shook her head. She had been handling her
losses on her own. She didn’t need to bounce how she felt off anyone. She could
handle it on her own. But it was a lot easier having Tobias with her, together
they could soak in the emotional overload and somehow get each other to the
other side.

“Jessie told me your parents are here, Peter and McKay
too,” she finally said.

“They wanted to see you, but I told them to wait.” He
kissed the back of her neck and combed his fingers into her tight bun.

“
It’s
fine, I’ll see them.”
She felt him begin to shift and grabbed his hand, “Don’t leave okay?”

“I’ll be right here.” Tobias opened the door for the
writing group but only let them in after a stern instruction. “Five minutes
only and no one brings up the baby.”

Marietta stiffened a smile. He was looking out for
her. She knew that he probably thought she wouldn’t be able to hear him, but
she was glad she had.

She sat up and tried to look like she wasn’t at the
edge of death, though that was how she felt. When Tobias moved to her side and
took her hand she felt like the air of strength that she was assuming might
just hold up.

****

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Elizabeth said.

Elizabeth’s English accent had survived any American
dilution although she had lived in the country for over twenty six years.
Marietta thought back to Tobias’ casting and what her co-casting director had
said and giggled. ‘He is the best collaboration that Britain and America have
ever made.’

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Marietta reciprocated the
smile Edward gave her and thought that was what a true father looked like. She
blinked back the tears that blossomed in her eyes. Emotionally, it wasn’t a
good day for her.

“Hey, kid, how are you feeling?” McKenzie cut in.

“Better than you are, old man,” she teased back.
“Don’t think just because I’m in this bed that I’m going to let you ruin my
movie.”

“That reminds me, the studio called, they want to push
back the production a month. Give you time to recuperate.” Jessie put in.

“Call them back. It will start when it was scheduled
to start,” she instructed.

“Sweetheart—”

She heard Tobias say but cut him off.

That was when it hit her. How inconsiderate of her.
Tobias was playing the male lead and he too had just lost a child. “I’m sorry
do you need some time?”