‘How can we be allowed to love each other, with two such men standing between us?’ he asked softly, and finally, after so many years of holding it all in, it was the hurt in this man’s voice that broke her, and Ria del Torr began to cry.
‘You’re letting them stand between us,’ she told him softly through the tears.
‘Maybe,’ he said heavily. ‘But perhaps that’s simply because I know the truth—I understand that you cannot do this.’
‘Adon—’
He shook his head. ‘We’ve both known it all along. You’ve suffered too much. It’s too hard for you, so you fight me with every breath. And I don’t have time for games. Maybe when this is over, but not now, Ria.’
Ria felt her legs begin to shake. The mist was around her again—that same, slow-moving mist that made everything harder to understand. Maybe it was a sort of blanket. A numbing blanket that might actually help her through this. Maybe she should embrace it.
‘I don’t want you to try and find me—it is far too dangerous at the moment,’ he said, then ran a hand through his hair, a mannerism she had begun to recognise. Just then his men thundered past, kicking clouds of dust behind them. They stopped to wait for him nearby. A vague kind of fear descended upon her as without another word, Adon Bayard put his cap on his head and, with his knights, galloped through the protectors and out onto the dark plains.
Ria stood for a long time, until the two moons had nearly dissapeared over the horizon. He had left her there, on her own, because she was too damaged. He didn’t think she knew how to love. What did that mean for her? What did that mean she was?
‘Did I have any children?’ Mia asked.
‘No. You were never married either.’
‘Did I have a boyfriend or anything?’
There was a slight hesitation. ‘Not as far as I know.’ Tye shrugged. Mia was interrogating him as they stood on the balcony. It was a bit like putting a puzzle together, but having to search around for the pieces before she could even begin.
‘So you were the person that knew the most about me?’
‘I don’t know, Mia. I am not so arrogant as to presume that you told me everything, nor that I was perceptive enough to see every working of your mind. But ... we knew each other well. I would be surprised if there was much you kept from me.’
Mia nodded. That seemed slightly depressing to her—didn’t she have any friends aside from her servant? ‘Am I the same now as I used to be?’ she asked curiously.
Tye smiled. ‘There are parts of you that are the same, and parts that are new. You are much younger. And less sure of yourself. But knowledge and majesty will come to you. I think it’s nice that you’ve regained your innocence.’
Mia thought her next question was the most important, the question that would explain the most about who Nayana really was. ‘What did I want, Tye?’
‘A city of equals,’ he said without hesitation, ‘where all people could live together happily.’
She nodded, but couldn’t help looking at him more closely. ‘Yes, I get that bit. But Tye ... what did I want, for me? Deep down, what did I want out of my own life?’
Tye frowned, meeting her eyes. ‘I don’t understand.’
She smiled, a little sadly. ‘I guess that’s the answer.’ Before he could say anything more, feeling a bit silly for asking the question aloud, Mia changed the subject.
‘I need to contact my friends,’ she said. ‘I haven’t spoken to them for days.’
‘I will have a message sent out straight away.’
‘No need,’ she grinned. ‘I have a much cooler way to talk to them. I can’t believe I forgot to tell you about this. Just wait a sec. They’re pretty far away so I’ll have to focus.’
Tye looked confused but didn’t say a word, so Mia shut her eyes and reached out to Anna. She could feel herself being drained instantly—the huge distance was taking its toll before she’d even made contact.
Anna?
I’m here. Are you ok?
Yeah, I’m fine but I need you to come and visit me.
I’d love to, sweetie, but I can’t—I’m headed to Cynis Witron to find Jane.
Mia whined in disappointment.
But I seriously need to talk to you—so much has happened!
What is it?
I can’t even begin to tell you right now ... I’m too weak ... I didn’t realise this would take so much out of me.
But as soon as she had spoken, Mia felt a sudden strengthening of her link with Anna, and knew she’d be able to speak all day if she wanted.
What is that?
she asked, trying to feel where all the extra energy was coming from.
I don’t know.
It’s me,
said a third voice, and Mia was shocked to realise the strength and clarity of Jane’s voice in her mind.
How are you doing that?
Dunno. I just am.
Christ, J. You must have some serious strength if you can connect to both of us this clearly,
Anna said.
If you think this is good, then you should see what I did yesterday,
Jane replied wryly.
Will
you
come and visit me, Janie?
Mia asked.
I’m freaking out!
I can’t right now, Mia. I’m in the Elvish city, trying to help them figure out what to do about the Valkyries.
You’ve been there for ages though! We don’t have any Valkyries here, so it’s safer here anyway!
Jane laughed a little.
Mia, I can’t. The Elves have a kind of magic that the Valkyries can’t get through—you know the dream protectors? Well I’m thinking it might give us a clue as to how to beat them on a larger scale, instead of just repelling them.
It’s a good idea, J. I’ll be there very soon to help you,
Anna promised. There was a kind of ripple in the mind-link, and Mia realised it was Anna’s sly laugh.
Is it the only reason you’re in the Elvish city? I know of a certain prince who just happens to be alive again...
Mia grinned.
Oh my god I can’t believe I forgot about that, I’m
so
in need of some girl talk! Janie—you aren’t really going out with that guy are you? He is
so gorgeous
I can’t even believe it! I think I would actually die if he looked at me with those grey eyes!
There was a silence, and Mia had the feeling it was not a comfortable one.
I’m not going out with him, Mia,
Jane said softly.
And he is not the reason I’m here. Far from it.
Oh no! Did you two have another fight?
Anna asked quickly.
You’ll be fine—you fight more than any other couple I’ve ever met.
No. Look, can we not talk about it?
Jane asked shortly. If Mia had been able to, she would have shot Anna a quizzical look.
Okay, sure, sorry,
Anna said.
Are you okay though?
I’m fine,
Jane sighed.
I just miss you guys. I can’t wait to see you, An.
All of a sudden Mia felt depressed. Her friends were going to be together, and she was stuck all the way out here on her own. Besides which, they clearly couldn’t help her out of this mess she’d gotten herself into—they had their own to take care of.
It’s not a mess, Mia,
Jane said gently, shocking her at how clearly she could read Mia’s private thoughts.
You’re going to be fine. You were born to do this. I couldn’t think of a more perfect role for you.
How do you even know what’s going on?
I’m reading it out of your thoughts now.
Mia blinked, stunned. She had no idea how to even go about reading someone’s mind. All she got from her friends was what they chose to share with her.
It’s easy,
Jane said with a laugh.
I’ll teach you one day.
I still don’t know what you’re talking about, Mia,
Anna complained.
Okay, well prepare to be shocked. You might actually wet your pants, so have a change of undies handy—
Mia!
All right, all right—I am—wait for it—the reincarnation of an ancient queen of a banished city.
There was a moment of silence. Mia started giggling uncontrollably, and soon Jane joined her, while Anna bombarded her with questions.
Eventually, once they’d covered the topic as much as they could, the girls moved onto their boys.
How are they?
Mia asked, feeling a stab of longing.
I haven’t had time to contact them at all recently.
There was a clear hesitation from both the other girls and Mia’s heart clenched in panic. She realised that she’d barely thought of Jack since arriving here.
I’m not sure,
Anna replied slowly
. Luca is in Cynis Witron on what he says is business for the king, but I’m not certain I believe him. Harry is in the most dangerous watch-tower outside Amalia, trying to help defend the city, and...
Anna—what is it?
Mia snapped.
Is something wrong with Jack?
No,
she replied after a moment.
He’s fine. He just misses you.
Jesus,
Mia said.
Don’t do that to me.
Jane sighed.
I’m going to check on Luca, I think. There’s definitely something wrong with him. Are you sure you can’t guess what it is?
I wish I could,
Anna assured them.
God knows I’ve tried. It started just after the war—all he used to talk about was how bad the world was, and how much pain everyone was in. Then he stopped talking altogether. And what about Harry?
Okay, one boy at a time,
Jane replied.
He’s fighting for his people, and it’s his right to do that. It’s really brave, actually. And as for you, Mia, we’ll try to visit you as soon as possible. For now, be strong, and be sure of yourself. You could do that job in your sleep.
When they were finally gone Mia didn’t feel the least bit weary.
‘Are you all right, highness?’ Tye asked quickly.
‘Yes, actually, I’m fine,’ she replied cheerfully.
Mia turned back to the view of the city. New vigour
had come to her, and she felt as though she could do anything. She could enjoy the fact that she had made this city what it was. Too bad she couldn’t remember doing it.
Her momentary happiness was tempered by a realisation. She hadn’t thought about Jack in days, until just now when someone else mentioned him. What did that mean? Once upon a time she’d thought she’d be in love with him forever. But that feeling had waned. Was she really that fickle? Were her emotions that fleeting? Would she ever find someone she could love properly? Or was she incapable of that?
‘Can I ask you to explain the connection you have with your friends?’ Tye asked politely, interrupting her deliberations.
‘I don’t know what it is exactly,’ she said. ‘Like everything else, I just seemed to have it thrust upon me. It happened when my friends bound together to defeat Leostrial.’
‘And Leostrial is ... the tyrant, yes?’
Mia smiled. ‘I forget you’ve been gone over a thousand years.’
‘I do not,’ he murmured softly and she looked sideways at him. He shook his head. ‘Forgive me. I meant nothing by the words.’
‘Tye ... you don’t always have to be so polite,’ she told him. ‘You can say what you think. I won’t be offended. I need honesty more than I need manners from you.’
He nodded slowly. ‘Yes, of course. You asked the same thing of me when you were Nayana.’
‘Good. Just act towards me as you acted towards her.’
He looked at her sharply. He seemed to be about to say something, then closed his mouth and looked away again.
‘Is there something you aren’t telling me, Tye?’ she asked.
‘Why would you think that, highness?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Because you’re holding it back. I’d prefer the whole truth. Stop watching your words.’
He frowned. Again there was another long hesitation, only confirming what she had been thinking, but infuriatingly he said only, ‘I hide nothing, majesty.’
Jack knocked on the High Queen’s door and entered when a servant bid him to.
‘Greetings, Jack,’ Elixia said, smiling as she stood behind her desk. Her expression faltered as she noticed how weary he looked. This was their third session in as many days, but he could hardly remember the last two since he’d been so tired.
‘Sit down,’ she told him, showing him to a couch and sitting down next to him as he sank into it gratefully.
‘I take it our strategies haven’t been working?’ she asked and he shook his head mutely. In fact he couldn’t even remember their strategies. Elixia motioned for a goblet to be brought to Jack.
‘It’s a stimulant to wake you up so we can start your training.’
‘Oh, thank god,’ he muttered, gulping down the warm liquid. Miraculously, the drink seemed to work instantly, lifting a great weight off his body and mind. For the first time in days, and he seemed to be able to think clearly.
‘Ah,’ he sighed. ‘That feels better.’
‘Welcome back,’ Elixia smiled.
‘Why didn’t you give me that two days ago?’ Now that he was awake, the question made him kind of angry.
‘I wanted to see if your exhaustion could outweigh your fear,’ she told him. ‘Clearly, it hasn’t. Let’s get
started then. I’ll go over everything again because you clearly haven’t heard a word I said. As you know, Valkyries prey on weakness. They seek your deepest fears, your secret, private insecurities, and they magnify them a thousand times in your nightmares. They wear you down, and then when you are at your weakest, when you have nothing left, no strength, no courage, they will claim you for their own and take you to the underworld.’
Jack stared at her. ‘Don’t worry about sugar coating it or anything,’ he muttered. He’d never truly understood the horror of what he’d been told. Until he’d experienced first-hand a Valkyrie nightmare.
And now Jack was one of the few people alive to tell the tale. He’d never been so terrified in his whole life as he was now, just thinking about the dreams that wreaked havoc through his body and soul. He couldn’t bear the thought of going to sleep again.
‘So,’ the queen went on. ‘You have to fight back.’
‘How the hell am I supposed to do that?’ he spluttered.
‘Well, firstly, Jack, you have to realise that this is
your
mind.
Your
nightmare. You can control it—you can make it what you please. Once you understand that, you’ll be able to start fighting for your own freedom.’
He stared at her, uncomprehending. Obviously it was his dream. That didn’t mean he could just decide what happened in it. That’s not how dreams worked—didn’t she know that? Jack needed scientists and doctors instead of motivating speeches.
‘You don’t believe me,’ she said calmly. ‘But in order for this to work you’re going to have to.’
He nodded, unconvinced. ‘Okay. So what do I do?’
Elixia pulled out a big piece of parchment and a quill, and motioned for him to move closer.
‘Firstly, I want you to draw your nightmares.’
‘Why?’
‘We’re going to try something I call ‘imagery rehearsal’,’ she explained. ‘We need to get you to a state where you can change your nightmares. So you’re going to go over every aspect of this dream, face every moment of it, even though it will be frightening, because this will allow you to consciously change the dream and be ready for when you next sleep.’
He looked at her, one eyebrow raised.
She levelled her gaze on his, her green eyes flashing. ‘Jack,’ she said softly. ‘I don’t care how sick you are. If you are going to let your scepticism rule you, you are damaging any possible chance we have of this working, and I won’t bother wasting any more of my time trying to help you. Understood?’
Carefully he swallowed and nodded. ‘Yes, your majesty.’
‘Good. Now start drawing.’