Deserted (12 page)

Kay
sighed. “But then why hasn’t anybody bothered to look? Maybe no one leaves for
a reason.”

“Of
course they don’t. Why would they?” I shook my head. “Look at them, Kay. They
live their lives through somebody else’s means. So long as we have a Provider, things
will never change. Why bother searching the wasteland for answers or supplies
when you could just do nothing all day and let someone else
take
care of you?”

“Well…it’s
not like we asked for a Provider.”

“No, but
we didn’t exactly decline it, either.”

“What
did you expect them to do? Starve to death instead of accepting help?” Kay shot
me a sideways glance as he spoke.

“It’s
not ours to take, Kay.” I reiterated my standpoint,
then
sighed briefly. “Maybe they should have asked questions or offered something in
exchange. Not just accept handouts.”

“Maybe
they did.” Kay mumbled. “I mean, it’s been what – sixteen-
ish
years since the Reckoning? The Provider was here long before we were.”

“Not
really.” I replied. “But even still, all you have to do is look around to know
the truth. Nobody does anything. There’s no ambition here. They didn’t even try
to form a search party...” My voice lowered and I decided to drop the topic. I
didn’t want to talk about my dad.

Kay
slowly nodded. “I know.” His voice was soft as he spoke to me. “I thought that
people were just too scared of the wasteland. With no way to defend ourselves
out there, it would be a deathtrap. But…you may be right.”

“They
could have asked for weapons from the Provider.
Tools.
Gear.
Hell, maybe even a map! Of all the things in the
world to ask for, everyone requests fancy jewelry or nice clothes instead.”

“You
really think the Provider would have given us those things?”

I
shrugged. “I don’t know. But has anyone ever bothered to ask?”

He
nodded and smiled briefly. “You make a good point.”

“I
always make good points.” I grinned in response and it wasn’t long before we
both started laughing. It had been a sour day for both of us and I was tired of
feeling angry all the time. What good would
complaining
do? It wouldn’t change the way of the townspeople. It wouldn’t save my mother.
It wouldn’t give me my father back. I could only change myself – and that’s
what I planned to do.

“I can’t
live this way.” I said finally. “Everyone else can stay here in blissful
ignorance if they want to, but I’m getting out of here someday. I can’t imagine
doing nothing the rest of my life.” I had said it without really thinking. I
just knew in my heart that I couldn’t stay here but the thought of actually
leaving had never entered my thoughts before.

Kay had
stared hard at me as I stretched my legs out; I was finding the sand to become
more and more uncomfortable as the night wore on. “So you’re serious, then?” He
said after some thought.

“
Mhm
.”

“I know
we talked about it before but I was never really sure that you meant it…” He
started slowly, “but I can see it in your face more now than I ever did in
daylight.” He had started to smile at me. “So let’s do it then. We will find…”
he faltered momentarily, “…everything we’re looking for.”

I know
he wanted to mention my father but didn’t out of respect for my feelings.
Dancing around the word didn’t exactly make me
not
think of him, though.
“We will.” I returned a feeble smile to Kay, “
nothing
is going to stop us.”

I had
closed my eyes and envisioned that night; a night like many that Kay and I
shared. I feel hopeful for tomorrow, now;
Ponika
and
I will eat our fill in the morning and start our search again with a renewed vigor.
For now, I’m going to close this out and finally sleep while memories of Kay
are still fresh on my mind.

It’s
been a few days since my last entry…and the last time we had shelter. The best
Ponika
and I could do were spotty naps here and there in
the sand, but we were never comfortable enough to fully sleep. We often
wandered through the night, and tonight
was
no
different. I was dragging my lazy feet through mounds of sand as I left one
comforting hand on
Ponika’s
back. He was exhausted –
his slowed gait and drooping head was all I needed to know that I should get to
walking and not burden him with my weight. I had found no place to stay
tonight, like most others, and I hoped that I could press on until sunrise or
shelter; whichever came first. My eyes were heavy and glossed over as I slogged
wearily onwards – I so wanted to give up already…collapse into the soft sand
and hope nothing would stumble upon my body. Having no protection from the
blazing heat of the morning wouldn’t do me any favours, though. Still, the idea
of tossing
myself
head-first into the sand was a
tempting one, but always fleeting in the end. One foot would find its way in
front of the other, without fail, seemingly unable to stop. Giving up – or
giving
in
– never felt like an option.

           
My head either hung low, barely registering my own footsteps, or swung wide to
the sky, watching the stars – anything to keep the dull vision of nothingness
around me from putting me to sleep. In a strange twist of thankfulness, a
powerful odour had started to assault my nose, clearing the drowsiness I had
struggled with all night. I scrunched my face up at its stench and looked
wildly around me, pulling my bandana tighter against my face.
Ponika
, too, had smelt it as his pace lessened and he had
raised his head.

           
“What is that?” I suddenly found myself
squinting
my
watery eyes at the strange aroma. It was acrid and burned every orifice, giving
me a sudden urge to cough – as though that would fix anything.

           
“Just like Salvation…” I had slowly started when something appeared on the
horizon. Tears had streamed down my face as I blinked rapidly, trying to focus
my vision.

           
As we neared the shadowy obstruct ahead,
Ponika
faltered. His ears rotated rapidly and he now appeared just as alert as I was.
It was a building up ahead; one that was once surrounded by a barbed-wire fence
judging by the few strands that still poked up from the sands. My stomach
churned slightly by the time we arrived at its broken gate but otherwise my
discomfort level was rather minimal – much less than my similar encounter in
Salvation. I drudged through the thick sand at the gate and made my way towards
the large building’s lone, innocuous door until I realized that
Ponika
was no longer following me.

           
I turned to look at him. “What!” I exclaimed, throwing my hands up but my
horse’s attention was on everything
but
me. The yelling hurt my throat –
caused the acrid aura in the air to scorch my mouth as it entered through my
parted lips. I would have to keep this brief.

           
I knew what
Ponika
was thinking: anything that
smelled this bad couldn’t be good. But what was I to do? Leave? What if Kay lay
behind that door? Or my father, trapped somewhere inside?
Perhaps
a clue, at least…a hope to follow.
I truly doubted I would be the only
wanderer of the wasteland to find this place – surely there’d be something
inside. I glanced briefly at the ground as I contemplated my options. “I have
to!” I finally called towards my horse, hoping that he could understand that I
wasn’t ignoring his warning signs.

           
My throat now ached as I journeyed again towards the door. I pulled out my
water bottle and took a few sips, then recoiled in surprise when the cool
liquid caused my mouth to flame-up in a fiery pain. Instinctively I clasped my
lips shut tight and gently tongued the sores around my gums. They felt raw – my
whole throat did. If water didn’t help then there was only one thing I could do
– make this
quick
. With my hand firmly planted on the doorknob, I
glanced back at
Ponika
, who now watched me with a
steady gaze. I silently wished him well – if anything should happen to me, I
hoped that my horse would find safety. With a pull much stronger than necessary
I whipped the door open and with my other hand wrapped around the hilt of my
dagger I stepped inside the dark building, its door creaking shut behind me.

           
Again – why didn’t I bring a lantern? Why was I so convinced that this would be
a short and easy outing? Like both men would just be sitting outside the
Meeting Place, waving me down with goofy smiles and everything would be
hunky-dory. How could I be so inadequately prepared? I had always thought I was
smarter than that.

           
My first order of business was removing the blinds that hung haphazardly before
the window on my left. They were crusted with dust and I stifled a cough as
their yellow-stained pieces fell apart on their descent. The light of the moon
seeped in and exposed the expanse of a corridor I had found myself in, causing
me to yelp in surprise when I saw what lay at my feet.

Bones –
some still draped in the ragged coats that once clung to their skin. I felt an
uneasy knot form in the pit of my stomach and my hand immediately grasped the
door handle behind me. The urge to flee was powerful, but I stood my ground,
releasing my grip as I tried to reassure myself.
‘It’s been twenty years
since the Reckoning…of course people died. These bones are of no threat to
you.’
I slowly made my way forward but a lingering thought nagged at me.
Why did they die so close to the door?

           
I removed more blinds as I made my way forward, revealing more bones and scraps
of clothing along the hall. It wasn’t until I rounded the corner ahead that
things started to change. A door lay open on my right, its frame busted and
barely standing. The floor was littered with items next to an overturned box –
lab coats, stationery and empty vials spilled from it. The inside of the room
was too dark to see into but the awful odour from outside seemed to mingle
inside the small space, causing a sour and rotted stench to waft in the air.
Pulling my bandana even tighter around my face, I continued on down the
hallway, glancing into the open rooms that revealed themselves suddenly in the
darkness. They all appeared mostly the same - broken tables, shelves, scattered
clothing – and the occasional cylindrical vial that lay shattered upon the
floor. Every so often, though, the hallway would flicker in artificial light
from the room next to it – an overhead light would dangle precariously from its
few exposed and intact wires. Most of these lights appeared lifeless but sparks
would suddenly jut outward, their sound and sight causing me to jump in
surprise. The rooms only grew more rancid as the corridor continued, convincing
me that there must not be anything worth salvaging in the rooms that opened up
to me. There was no sign of life, either – past or otherwise, unless you
counted the poor, yellowed skeletons that continued to litter the floor around
me.

           
Strangely, I found my arms becoming quite warm to the touch as I walked, and
rather sore. I must have gotten sunburnt, although the skin that ached did not
appear to be tanned in any way. The realization made me nervous, though I
didn’t really know why. Something just…didn’t feel right about it. I quickened
my pace.

As I
journeyed towards the end of this seemingly never-ending corridor, I noticed
that the building wasn’t quite as large as I had assumed it to be from the
outside. Most of the space was taken up by large storage rooms that I passed
every so often; decrepit ones that glowed in a soft, pulsing green. I couldn’t
put my finger on the hue, to realize just what it came from, but I knew it
wasn’t something I wanted to be a part of; these rooms made me queasy and
forced my hair to stand on end. I hurried past these doors, their filth inside
lighting up briefly from the glowing object, casting elongated shadows towards
my feet. I was growing steadily uneasy, and rightfully so. As I turned another
corner in the hallway I came crashing into a large blockade of twisted metal
and dirt. A slim shaft of moonlight escaped through a crack in the ceiling
here, but I no longer needed it to see. Through gaps in the rubble another
pulsating light greeted me – and then another. In fact, the entire other side
of the building appeared to be aglow. I shielded my eyes as they started to
sting incessantly and I backed up, feeling my stomach start to heave. I wanted
out. Seeing an open, semi-lit room on my left, I decided to search for a closer
exit.

This
room was much larger than the others, although not as deep. The floor was clear
of debris and most objects on the tables were in their rightful positions. It
almost appeared to be a large office or meeting room of sorts. Stray strands of
light meandered through the boarded up window that encompassed the wall ahead
and I followed their trail with my eyes until I noticed a large computer
station that lay directly on my right. I stared at its wonder – monitors the
size of the entire wall and keyboards of every shape and size scattered around
the large system. As I took this all in, I started to realize that my nausea
had faded slightly; I felt better in this room than the hallway.