Desire Me Always (4 page)

“Just the sight of your bare shoulder has the ability to bring me to my knees. I want to worship ever part of you.”

The rawness of his declaration, a small admission to his weakness toward her, made her knees weak. She wanted nothing other than to surrender to his every wish and let him do as he pleased.

“Nick. Please . . . make me yours.”

“You are mine. Have I not demonstrated that night after night?”

“Yes, but not as your wife. Make me your wife in truth. Consummate our marriage.”

“I have every intention.”

Nick's hand cupped her mons and then rubbed her there, making her juices flow again. Amelia reached behind her and pressed her hand against his erection.

She squeezed him. “Take me.”

Nick sucked her earlobe into his mouth, nibbling gently at the sensitive skin.

“You have the ability to make me lose all sense of direction.” He spun her around so they faced each other. “Release me, if that's what you desire in this moment.”

Amelia didn't take a moment to think otherwise; she pushed down his trousers as fast as her fingers could work on the ties and buttons, and then he was springing free, a heavy weight in her hand.

She licked her lips, looking down at the bead of pre-come that emitted from the tip. “Do you want me to suck it?”

He was backing her up even as she asked. “Later, yes. Right now, I want to fuck you until you don't care who hears your screams.”

Her knees hit the back of the bed, and she was forced to lean back as Nick came over her. He had her by the hips and tossed her onto the mattress before pulling his trousers completely off.

Her gaze stuck on his cockstand before traveling upward over the roped ridges that carved the muscles on his stomach and all the way up to his chest. He was like a marble stature, gloriously beautiful and dangerous all at once.

Looking at him thus, she wanted to trace every line of sinew with her tongue. “You truly are a sight to behold.”

He cocked one brow. “As are you, my lovely wife.”

He knocked her knees wider apart and shoved her underclothes higher up her thighs, exposing her to his view.

As Amelia sat up, she hiked the material up to the lower edge of her corset, letting him get a good view of what she was offering him. She reached out to him and rubbed her hand through the spattering of hair on his chest. Her fingers circled his small tan areolas. Nick hissed in a breath and stared at her with nothing short of hunger in his gaze.

He took his time crawling over her body; his gaze flicked down to where she chewed on her lower lip. Amelia looked between their bodies, seeing all that virility hanging between them, teasing her. She swallowed back the desperation building in her. How could she show him patience when what she wanted was so near?

“Take me.” Her voice wasn't her own; it was sultry, sexy, an erotic demand that he own her. “Take me . . . now.”

He fisted his hand around the root of his cock and brought it to her entrance . . . torturously slow.

“I've waited for this all day,” he said and then slammed deep inside her.

Amelia's back arched off the bed, her whole body opening like a flower to a bee, pulling him in deeper as her arms wrapped around his shoulders, and her pelvis tilted upward in supplication. The scruff of his beard abraded her neck, yet his lips were soft along her collarbone as he licked the sweat from her skin.

With one hand sinking into her hair at her nape to hold her tight, Nick pulled back only to thrust deeper. The air left her lungs with each slam of his body into hers. Neck arched, body bowed, she gave him free rein over their pleasure as he plowed into her until they could scarcely catch a breath between them.

Their teeth clanked as their tongues tangled in a kiss that consumed their cries of rapture. Amelia was lost to him. Lost to herself. All she knew, as they drew closer to their peak, was that when they were in each other's arms, everything was perfect and right between them.

Her nails carved crescent moons into the scarred flesh of his back. Nick's hand gripped the back of her head tighter, angling it just so that he could thrust his tongue as deep into her mouth as his cock plundered into her core. She was breathless and had no choice but to relinquish the last vestiges of control to him.

He let her go only to reach between their bodies and flick his thumb across her clitoris, his gaze rapt. He was waiting for her pleasure to rise before giving himself completely over to her. Waiting for her completion, and she wanted to give it to him but was locked in the perfectness of the moment.

Amelia strained toward that precipice of pleasure so profound she knew it would render her immobile for what remained of their afternoon. Still, she stretched closer to the bliss he so freely wanted her to have. He stared down at her, his lips red from their violent kisses in their attempt to devour each other. When her eyes caught on his sharp gaze, so filled with satiation and desire, she crashed through the barrier of her desire.

Amelia thrashed beneath him, her body desperate to move, to ride out the eroticism of the moment as he fucked her like a man bent on one end, now that she was taken care of. She fairly vibrated around him as he took her over and over again, her body unfurling in a need so great she thought she might die from the pleasure, and then he let go with a shout as he stilled inside her, his seed spilling hot and deep.

Their breaths mingled and teased as their kisses gentled, and he took the weight of his body on his arms, resting on either side of her.

Nick brushed the hair back from her forehead. “Are you all right?”

She nodded and gave him a sultry smile as she arched her back and stretched out like an indulgent cat beneath him. He palmed her thigh in languid strokes, just as reluctant to pull out of her as she was for him to break the perfect moment that had exploded between them.

Amelia trailed her index finger down the side of his jaw, scratching her nail through the neat beard she so loved on him and despised on all other men. The scruff added a certain animalistic quality to him.

She dipped her finger into his mouth, which he sucked and nibbled.

“I could perhaps agree to stay in bed for the rest of the day,” she said.

The smile he wore made his expression go from intense to playful in a second. He flipped them around—she straddling his thighs; he still buried deep inside her and as firm as ever.

“That's a promise I can make,” he said.

“I like when you make good on your promises.”

“I always do.”

“I know.” Amelia lowered her mouth to his and let him distract her into the wee morning hours.

“D
id you ever imagine you would marry?” Landon asked Nick as they stared down the ridge toward the manor house and the surrounding lands of Highgate.

“Not before Amelia came into my life.”

“My sentiments exactly before I met Meredith.”

Nick well recalled when Landon had met his wife and always had thought such a union so perfectly made would be impossible for him. How wrong he had been.

Nick turned his gaze up to the gray sky, hoping they wouldn't get caught in a downpour. Today he should feel on top of the world, having only the day before married the woman he loved, but something held him back from that idyllic feeling.

Shauley's waiting in the wings to cause more problems was likely part of the reason he felt reserved about his good luck. Here, he sat atop his horse, a man staring down at the land he'd wanted to possess for as long as he could remember. So why hadn't purchasing this land and the manor helped to bury his past as he thought it would?

The wind rolled around them, a reminder that nature was in control of unleashing a storm at any moment.

“So this is Caldon Manor,” his friend mused. While they'd been here a week, and Landon had helped in the search effort for Amelia, they had not made their way out to the manor in the light of day to assess the property. Nick hadn't wanted to leave Amelia's side since the incident.

“Indeed. It is.”

“You could have found a hundred different manor houses to convert. I daresay you could have found something in better shape too. Why this one?”

Was there a hint of skepticism in his friend's comment?

“I go back a long way with this property. It has . . . nostalgic value.”

Landon cocked one eyebrow as he stared at Nick in disbelief. “Care to elaborate on this secret past of yours?”

“Not particularly.” Nick squeezed his thighs around his mount, pushing the gelding closer to the old house. The sight of it still haunted him to this day. His past had started here, created the man he'd become, but his obsession in owning this house had nearly cost him Amelia. And that was unacceptable to him.

Landon wasn't far behind as Nick took his horse to a trot. They had a few hours to themselves before breakfast was served.

Caldon Manor loomed before them as they slowed their horses.

“It might be better to tear down the heap of rubble,” Landon pointed out.

“True. But my sister has her sights set on fixing up this place to its former grandeur for her school.”

And he had plans on making the town a better place while he was at it. There was so much hatred and darkness ingrained in the town that it practically seeped through his bones. That gloomy ugliness needed to change.

“How many acres surround this place?”

“Forty. It will be enough land to build houses for the families that don't take up residence in the strip of properties you are acquiring from this purchase.”

Landon grunted as he led his horse toward the back of the property. Nick followed, looking at the house in a new light. He could scarcely believe it was his. Having purchased it with such ease made the whole ordeal seem anticlimactic to his goals.

They walked past a roughly made wooden fence that didn't look a day less than fifty years, surrounding an old vegetable patch full of weeds and rocks. The fence trailed farther, to the edge of the wood that lined the property. Nick's hand's tightened on the reins when he spied an old man hunched over in his dark brown robes, walking with a cane and carrying a basket laden with whatever he'd foraged for in the wood.

“It appears you have a neighbor,” Landon said absently.

Nick didn't respond; he wasn't sure how to when he was staring at someone from his past, at one of the men who could have been his advocate instead of silently hanging back in the pews, letting evil happen in all parts of the school Nick had attended as a boy.

The old man was but a fraction of the man he'd once been, frail and weak as he leaned heavily upon his cane, and walking with a limp along an old worn-down path lined with stones. The old man hadn't noticed Landon or Nick as he walked deeper into the wood to whatever hellhole he called home these days.

Confront him, or let him be for now?

Nick dug his heels into the animal's sides. Realizing what he'd done, he eased up on the horse.

“It seems I do,” he finally said. And he sure as hell couldn't go after the old man. Such forwardness would require revealing something of himself to Landon. The old monk was safe from Nick's wrath. Besides, that particular broken soul wasn't the sole person responsible for Nick's damaged past. That accomplishment was with the old vicar who headed up the all-boys school Nick attended when he was no more than eleven.

“I'll be sure to introduce myself another day,” Nick said, realizing he was lost in his thoughts. He focused on the dilapidated manor house. The only way to describe it was broken. Something Nick could relate to within himself.

Landon didn't seem to care either way if they made friends with the locals this morning, so Nick further steered his friend away from thoughts of the monk.

“We've been gone too long. My new bride will wonder where I am.”

“My wife as well.” Landon patted the side of his horse and gave the house one last look.

“I've wanted this chunk of land for so long, it's odd that I don't feel an ounce of relief now that I own it.”

“I find it's the things we are denied that we want most. And once we've succeeded in that goal, we wonder what our purpose was for wanting that end result so badly.”

Nick felt no stirring of emotion when he studied the pitted, worn stone structure. Now that the first part of his goal had been obtained, his original goal seemed unfulfilled. The house was merely an object, not the source of his hatred toward this place. The vicar would be dealt with soon enough. Though Nick hoped he didn't feel the same lack of accomplishment after ruining what was left of the vicar's life.

“At any rate, you said it best. You have a new bride to get back to, and I have a wife to spoil,” Landon said, drawing Nick's attention back to the here and now.

“Let's get back, then.”

Landon rode up beside Nick and looked over his shoulder at Caldon Manor. “I still believe it would be better served razed. Less work to build something new.”

Nick didn't look back at the old house; what he did know was that he wasn't so eager to erase any part of his past, and tearing the house down irrevocably seemed wrong. His past could not be wiped clean. The house would remain standing as a reminder that he had to keep fighting for all those children in future generations who were helpless to men like the vicar.

“I'm afraid Sera's heart is set on complete restoration. She wants a grand manor house for her school. She said she doesn't want the place to feel institutional. I agree that a house is more fitting for children.” Nick had convinced her to take on the task of schoolmistress, with a grand manor as an enticement to the children's parents. “The way Sera's eyes lit up when I told her about this place . . . it's something I cannot take away from her.”

He shouldn't lay his reasoning on his sister's shoulders, but his rationalization for everything was no one's business but his own.

“I'll never understand the logic of women.” Landon shook his head.

Nick laughed.

Silence fell upon them for a spell, and all Nick could think was that he sure as hell couldn't figure out what went on in a woman's mind, but still, he wanted to get back to Amelia.

“It's the mystery that keeps us going back to them,” Nick said, eager to be back in bed with his bride before breakfast could be served.

“Never did I hear truer words,” his friend agreed.

With a challenging look at each other, they raced their horses back to the inn.

A few hours in her company would wipe away the memories that had invaded Nick's thoughts during his run with Landon. It wasn't just the mystery of how she made him feel that kept him coming back; it was her beauty, her kindness . . . her love.

A
melia had been awake for at least fifteen minutes but was too tired to even contemplate getting out of bed. She threw off her blanket to dispel the haze of warmth that grew increasingly overwhelming. The sun had only cracked through the curtains in their room, indicating just how early it was. Why was she even awake?

And where in the world could Nick have gone at this hour?

After the events of yesterday and their exertions late into the night, the thought of rising before the birds drew out a groan and had her hiding her head beneath a pillow to block out the morning light. She buried her head deeper into the down pillow, wishing sleep would drag her back under, but the longer she lay there without her husband, the odder she felt in not rising to greet the day and all it had to offer as a married woman.

Amelia couldn't hold back the smile at that thought.

Before she rose from the bed, the bedchamber door creaked open. She lifted the corner of the pillow with a yawn impossible to stifle.

“Goodness,” she said, covering her mouth too late. “Good morning.” She forced herself to sit up and took one look at the haunted look on Nick's face and pinched her lips shut.

So the honeymoon was over. He'd reverted back to his closed-off self.

What had changed between last night and this morning?

Had she slept through another of his nightmares? No, that simply wasn't possible.

“Nick?” Her voice was quiet, questioning.

“I need you.” The starkness of his voice, the command in his declaration had her mouth snapping shut. She brushed her hand through the mess of curls that hung around her shoulders.

Nick stalked toward her, dropping his jacket to the floor without a care, unbuttoning his waistcoat and pulling his shirt over his head. He was divested from all his clothes before he even reached the bed.

“What has happened?” She knew she shouldn't ask, but the hope that he would share with her what troubled his thoughts came to the forefront and unleashed her tongue.

“Nothing that needs worrying.”

Except for everything he always seemed to keep quiet about.

“We are man and wife,” she said. “What do we have to hide from each other?”

“You have all of me.”

Amelia placed her feet on the floor, spreading her knees wide to make room for him to stand between them. He leaned over her, his mouth hovering a few inches from her own.

“Do I?” she whispered.

“You do.” He kissed her gently, tempting her to take more, and she did. “Your hunger for me makes me want to take you and fuck us both into sweet oblivion.”

“Sweet platitudes will only get you so far,” she teased him right back. Though hurt stabbed her heart at little that he kept secrets from her at all.

“Then we will worry about the state of us when we've hit that plateau.”

She tried not to let the disappointment of his comment add to the insecurities she had, but it was no use. She felt further away from him than she had before they were married. And that didn't seem right. No. She knew, in her heart, that it wasn't right.

Needing to distract her thoughts, Amelia wrapped her hands around his arms and lowered her head in a different kind of surrender. When they made love, their connection seemed deeper.

While it might not be right in the grand scheme of their marriage, she couldn't refuse his need any more than she could deny her love for him and her willingness to do anything that might chase away his demons. Wasn't keeping her husband's troubles at bay part of holy matrimony?

She shoved her worries out of her mind and lifted enough from the bed that she could remove her chemise. She tossed it away and sat before her husband, naked as the day she was born.

Leaning back on her hands, she looked up at Nick with a wicked grin. “However shall we occupy ourselves, husband?”

His mouth was fierce as it landed upon hers, his lips melding at first and then stealing her breath away before she could temper the severity of his desire. Not that she wanted to mute his need. Not when she craved him in any way she could have him.

Did that make her a weak person? She couldn't say.

What mattered was that
he
needed her.

He'd come to her when his thoughts were troubled. He came to her when he didn't want to be around others. While all that should be good for something, it was hard to ignore the fact that he was still locking her out in some ways.

N
ick couldn't say what had come over him the moment Amelia stripped away her chemise. The base desire that had been building inside him on the ride back to the inn, one that lent to his need for control, took over his thoughts.

It came down to how he felt when he was with her and the vivacity he always saw in his new bride. He wanted to take that precious quality into him and wash away everything that tainted the man he was.

Amelia was willing to hand over the reins whenever he asked, give him absolute control when that was the only thing that allowed him to put distance between the reality of now and the nightmares that took him over when his past reared its ugly head.

His lips tugged at hers, fierce, desperate. The taste and warmth of her mouth had his cock raging hard. He ripped his lips away from hers, wanting only to bury himself between her thighs, yet wanting to keep a modicum of control on his emotions.

When she looked at him with accepting blue eyes, there was no mistaking the ardor clouding them and mirroring how he felt.

He fisted his hand around the base of his rod, the tip already wet with pre-come, and brushed over her ruby-red, kiss-swollen lips. She flicked her tongue against the head, and a groan passed his lips. His need was so great he felt semen boiling up from his balls and ready to flood her mouth, and he pushed past the opening of her mouth, fucking it shallowly. She took him eagerly and sucked him in deeper. He nearly lost control then, but stilled and regained that perfect equilibrium that gave him power over his emotions and his body.