Desolation (39 page)

 

“My own,” she said flatly, clearing her throat. “I don't work for
the government if that's what you're wondering.”

The cop shook his head.
“I didn't think so,” he said. “Yet... here you are.”
“Here I am,” she repeated flatly.

“In one of their vehicles,” the cop said as he studied her
expression.

“In one of their vehicles that I stole,” she said without emotion.
The cop laughed.
“An honest criminal at least...” he said.
Jerri shook her head.

“I'm no criminal,” she said with a sigh. “It was the only way to
get out of the camp.”

The cop blinked, surprised.
“Those prison camps down there...? They still exist?” he asked.

“We called them FEMA camps,” she contested weakly. “I know
it's just euphemistic bullshit. And no... the last one fell last night. There
are no more. I was the last to leave... alive.”

The cop considered her words for a minute and then nodded.

“Well kudos for making it out of there,” he finally said. “We
haven't seen any Americans for over six months. The refugees stopped
trying to come here a long time ago...”

Jerri snorted and rolled her eyes.

 

“They didn't stop trying,” she said. “They just... They just can't
make the journey.”

The cop looked at her and crossed his arms across his chest.
“It's still that bad down there, eh?” he asked.
Jerri nodded and then looked up at him.
“What now?” she asked.
“What do you mean?” he replied.
Jerri shook her head and held her hands at her side, exasperated.

“Do you send me back...? Arrest me...?” she stopped a beat and
looked at him squarely in the eyes. “Or shoot me? I saw the sign at the
border.”

“What did you expect us to say?” he asked. “Welcome? After
what they did to Toronto and Winnipeg... well... American isn't really our
friendly neighbor anymore.”

Jerri almost asked what the Americans did, but she already knew
the answer.

 

“I didn't know what they did,” she said quietly. “They didn't tell
us anything except bullshit spin stories.”

“Well,” the cop said with some slight hesitation. “I guess it's
better that way. At least that way you probably never heard what we did to
you in retaliation... did you?”

Jerri looked at him and almost asked... but he was right; she didn't
want to know. It didn't matter anymore.

 

She shook her head.

 

“So you never said... Where are you headed?” the cop asked
again.

Jerri chuckled and looked down at the steering wheel.
“I don't know,” she answered. “Regina I guess.”
“Why?” the cop asked, genuinely curious.
Jerri thought on the question for a moment and then sighed.
“I guess to see if it still exists,” she said. “If
anything
still exists.”
The cop smiled.
“It does,” he said proudly.
Jerri looked at him doubtfully.
“And the infection...?” she asked.
The cop laughed.

“They froze when the first snow came. Lucky for us they stayed
dead for good once the ice melted,” he answered with a toothy smile.

Jerri shook her head in bewilderment.
“It sounds too good to be true,” she said.
The cop stepped back and pointed at his cruiser.

“Then how about you get out of this heap and take a ride in my
car,” he said. “I'll show you myself that Regina is doing just fine.”
Jerri thought for a moment and shrugged. What did someone
who lost everything have left to lose?

 

“Fuck it,” she said as she swung her door open. She stepped
outside and walked towards the cruiser, shivering.

“I'm Butch by the way,” the cop said as he followed her.
Jerri turned towards him, teeth chattering in the cold air.
“Audra,” she said.

50

T
he heater inside the cruiser felt wonderful but the awkward
tension in the air was unbearable.
Jerri felt Butch's eyes linger on her from time to time through the
ride. She wasn't stupid; she knew he wouldn't be such a good Samaritan if
she had a penis. She kept her arms across her chest and stared out at the
countryside as they passed by.
The trees were beautiful and a rich vibrant green. They reminded
her a lot of the trees she saw in Flagstaff and soon, as they usually did, her
thoughts turned to Mitch.
He would have liked Canada.
“We have electricity you know,” Butch finally said, breaking the
awkward silence that had settled in all around them.
“That's nice,” Jerri said unenthusiastically, keeping her eyes
fixated outside.
Butch tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and tried again.
“The whole grid works from here to Saskatoon,” he continued.
“We have fully-functioning emergency services, two hospitals, schools,
and even a college. Everything works from the street lights down to the
sewage system. Best of all? It's all free! What do you think about that?”

Jerri shrugged.

 

“Sounds a lot like the camps in the early days,” she said,
unimpressed.

 

“Well,” Butch said with a smile, “I bet the camps down there
didn't have Tim Hortons.”

“Tim who?” she asked as she stared at the treeline outside.
Butch laughed.

“It's only the best coffee in the world. You like coffee much?” he
asked.

Jerri offered a polite smile.
“I think I need something a little stronger these days,” she said.
Butch laughed.

“Well we have that too,” he said. “You know... we run on a barter
system. Everyone in the city has a role to play. Do you have any skills or
such? That stuff is important.”

“I rented out cars,” she said in a quiet voice. “Guess you don't
have much need for that yet, do you?”

 

Butch chuckled.

“Don't worry,” he said with a wink as he slapped her knee. “I'll
put a good word in for you. I'll see if I can find you a nice gig. In the
meantime you can always stay with me until you get your housing
vouchers... I have enough food for two.”

Butch glanced over at her with eager anticipation.

 

“I liked renting cars though,” she said as she continued to stare
out the window. “I was good at it.”

 

Butch's expression fell flat and he reluctantly placed both hands
back on the steering wheel.

In the distance she saw a small cottage with one of those old
rustic windmills in the yard. After seeing nothing but farmland it was
different scenery.

Further in the distance she saw Regina's city lights glimmering in
the horizon.

“Well you're coming at a good time,” Butch said. “We're about to
hold elections and see who the leader for our district will be. We're trying
to restore the central government.”

Jerri stared vacantly out the window. Government was the last
thing she wanted to hear about. It just left her feeling cold. She couldn't
help but stare at the cottage as they approached.

“What's that place?” she asked as they drove past the cabin.
There was something about the place that caught her eye but she couldn't
quite place her finger on it.

Butch casually glanced at the cabin in the rear-view mirror.

“That place?” he asked. “That's the Miller's old place. It's nothing
special. They moved up north to Saskatoon months ago and it's been
vacated ever since. They were nice people though.”

It looked simple yet welcoming. A small feeling of comfort that
had been long absent began to stir.

“Stop,” Jerri said abruptly.
“Stop?” Butch asked, confused.
“The car! Stop!” Jerri said as she slapped her hands on the dash.

Butch rolled the car to a stop on the side of the road and looked
over at her in confusion.

 

“That cabin is vacant?” she asked enthusiastically.

 

“Well, last time I checked, yeah....” Butch said, unsure of what
she wanted to do. “Most people flocked to the cities...”

 

“Then it's perfect,” Jerri said as she opened the door and stepped
outside.

“Hey! Audra! What's the big idea?” Butch asked as he held his
hand out towards her. “I'm taking you to civilization, remember? Regina
has everything you need. This old shack... well it may have electricity and
running water because it's on our grid but that's all it has.”

“I've done more with less,” Jerri said with a smile. “Look, Butch,
thanks for your help but I really don't want what Regina has to offer. I
thought I did but... well... all that stuff you mentioned... it's everything I
was running away from down there. Regina is just another camp. The
thought of it just leaves me... well, cold.”

Butch frowned and glared at her.
“What do you want then, Audra?” he asked.

Jerri smiled at him and spoke openly and honestly to herself for
the first time in a long time.

 

“Freedom,” she said. “I want freedom.”

 

Butch's hands tightened around the steering wheel and he
scowled.

 

“So you're going to turn yourself into a hermit?” he asked.

“You don't understand. I never felt more alone then when I was
inside a camp with thousands of other people,” she said with a smile.
“After what I've seen and what I've done and what I've experienced.... I'm
done with the human race for a little while,” she said. “I need this...”

“Then I wish you luck,” Butch said with a frown as he turned his
attention back towards the road. “Close my door.”

 

Jerri closed his door and the cruiser sped off.

She watched the car as it disappeared down the road towards the
glimmer of Regina. After it was gone she turned and walked towards the
cabin. She walked up the steps and tried turning the knob...

It was unlocked.
She stepped inside and took a deep breath.

The air smelled like pine and held the smoky armor of an old
fireplace.

It felt warm.
It felt perfect.
She reached over and flipped a switch.
The overhead lights came on and the ceiling fan started.

Most of the furniture was still there. Whoever the Millers were,
they left in a hurry.

Jerri walked into the living room and flopped down on the sofa in
front of the fireplace. She stretched out luxuriously and found herself
smiling a genuine smile.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

 

“What do you think, babe?” Mitch asked as she sat down on the
chair next to the sofa.

 

Jerri looked over at him and smiled a loving smile.

 

“I think... I think I just want to allow myself to be happy for a
while,” she said in a softer voice she hadn't used for a long time.
“Are you?” he asked with a smile.

 

“Very,” she said as she closed her eyes once again.
Epilogue
One year later...

J
erri walked back to her cabin holding a dead hare in one hand
and a snare trap in the other. It took her a while to get the hang of it, but
she found she had a natural proficiency for creating the traps and
placement. By next season she reckoned she would be able to get deer if
she could rig a bow and arrow together.

She walked through her front yard past her rainwater collector
and smiled as she looked over at her small garden she planted in the
flowerbed. She couldn't get anything but green beans to grow but, like her
hunting, it was a skill she was improving on through trail and error.
Thankfully the harsh winter was over and the spring rains were coming so
she would get ample opportunity.

She kicked off her muddy boots by the front door and walked
inside.

She never bothered locking her front door.
There was really no need to do such things anymore.

In the year she had been there she had managed to really make
the cabin her very own. After some redecoration and rearranging it really
felt like home.

She looked over at the bookcase where the television used to be
and wondered what book she was going to read after dinner.

But that would come later.
She had work to do.

She wanted to skin and cook the hare before sunset so she had to
work fast; doing it by candlelight was tedious and a waste of wax.

The electricity, along with the running water and sewage, went
out months ago. She wasn't sure what, if anything, happened in Regina
but she really didn't care.

Even without the modern conveniences society offered, Jerri still
made do.

 

She walked into the kitchen with her hare, turned, and looked
around her cabin one more time before she started cooking.
She was smiling.

 

She was happy.