Desperately Seeking Dad (16 page)

She turned, leaning back in the seat, relief flooding her. God had been in control. Even though she hadn't trusted, even though she'd been trying to do it all herself, God had been in control.

“I haven't been trusting You, have I?”

Helen would probably smile at the question. Wise Helen had seen what Anne needed. Believing wasn't enough. She had to trust, too.

She brushed her hair back from her forehead. “I'll try, Lord. I'll try.”

She couldn't have a relationship with God unless she could trust. She couldn't have a relationship with another person unless she could trust.

She looked back over the last twenty-four hours. She'd told herself she loved Mitch, but she hadn't trusted him enough to give him a chance to explain. Maybe things could never be right between them; maybe there were too many barriers. But whatever happened, she couldn't run away. She had to give him a chance.

Something else was crystal clear in her mind. Unless Mitch could open up, unless he could find a way to deal with the family problems that haunted him, they didn't stand a chance.

Her heart turned to lead. Dealing with that pain might be more than Mitch was able to do. But she'd learned something in these difficult weeks. Having a relationship built on trust, based on openness, really was possible.

She'd never believed that before, but now she knew it. And she couldn't settle for less.

Slowly, carefully, she put the car in gear and started back toward Bedford Creek.

“L
ook, just stay by the phone for me, okay?” Mitch frowned at Wanda. “I've asked half the town to call me if they spot Link. Someone's bound to see him.”

“All right, all right.” Wanda dropped the purse she'd picked up, preparing to going home. “But you owe me for this one.”

He owed a lot of people—Anne most of all. But she was gone. He looked bleakly down the years he would be missing her. Why couldn't she have given him a few minutes' grace? That was all he'd wanted. Now—

He heard the door, spun around, and his breath caught in his throat. Anne stood there, holding the baby. He'd never seen a sweeter sight in his life.

She was pale, and she clutched Emilie too tightly. The baby wiggled restlessly.

“What's wrong?” He took a step toward her, battling pain, grief, regret. Something was wrong besides the obvious, but whatever it was, she probably wouldn't accept help from him. The only thing he had left to offer her was Link's signature on that form.

She shook her head. “Nothing. We're all right. We just… I decided we needed to come back.”

“I'm glad you did.” Easy, don't push. “I'm trying to find Link, so I can—”

The telephone rang, and he nearly leaped across the desk. Wanda said a few words, then hung up and turned to him. He could read the message on her face. Someone had spotted Link.

“Behind Grace Church. His truck's parked there.”

Adrenaline pumped through his veins. Something positive to do, thank heaven. He turned to Anne.

“You wait here with Wanda. I'll find Link and bring him back.”

But she was already shaking her head. “We'll go with you.”

The last thing he wanted was Anne observing an ugly scene. “That's not a good idea. I'll do better with him alone.”

“I'm going.” Her mouth set stubbornly, she turned toward the door.

“Anne…”

Frustrated, he shook his head. He didn't want her
there when he confronted his brother. But it didn't look as if he had a choice.

If he'd picked the worst place in the world to confront his brother, this would be it, Mitch thought as he pulled up to Grace Church Cemetery. His throat tightened. Link was on one knee in front of a double headstone, carefully clearing away the dried leaves that littered it. He looked very young, kneeling there in the brown grass in front of their parents' graves.

Mitch and Anne's footsteps grated on a patch of gravel. Link swung around, his face hardening when he saw them. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you.” Mitch stared down at his parents' headstone. “Guess I should have thought sooner to look here.”

“Why would you?” Link stood, fists clenching. “Not a place you spend much time, is it?”

“I guess not.” He stared down at the epitaph. At his father's name. His father hadn't come back until it was too late to say the things that needed to be said between them. Maybe he could keep from making the same mistake with Link. “Look, we need to talk.”

Link shrugged, his face cold. “I've got nothing to say.”

“Fine, just listen, then.” He couldn't let himself think about Anne, standing so silently beside him.

“Sorry, don't have time.” Link spun, but Mitch grabbed his arm.

“Make time, Link. This is important.”

“To you?” His expression made it clear that didn't weigh with him.

“To this baby girl.” He jerked his head toward Emilie, his eyes never leaving Link's face. “She deserves a chance in life.”

Link's gaze swiveled to Anne and the pink snow-suited bundle she carried. “Tina's baby.” Link said it with certainty.

“That's right. How did you know?”

He shrugged. “Wasn't hard to figure out, once I knew part of it. Why else would Anne and the baby be in Bedford Creek?”

“Listen to me, Link.” His throat was so tight that he had to force the words out. “When Tina knew she wasn't going to make it, she wanted Anne to adopt her baby. She wanted to give her a chance at a good future.”

“Okay, I'm giving her that chance, too.” Link's gaze slid away from the baby. “I'm getting out of here. That's the best thing I can do for her.” He nodded toward the headstone. “After all, that's what he did for us. Like father, like son, right? He just should have done it sooner.”

The bitterness in his brother's voice seeped into Mitch's heart. He was used to it in himself. He'd never guessed it ran so deeply in Link. He felt a
sudden revulsion. It wasn't doing either one of them any good.

“Don't, Link. Don't think that about yourself.”

“Why not? It's true, isn't it?”

Conviction pounded through his veins. He knew, now, what he had to do. What they both had to do, if only it wasn't too late.

“What he did doesn't matter anymore. At least, it only matters if we let it.” He reached toward his brother. “Don't you see what we're doing? We're still letting him control our lives.”

“Not you. Not Mr. Upright Citizen. Your life is as different as it can be from his.”

“Don't you get it?” Mitch caught his brother's arm. He had to make him see. “I'm doing everything I can to be different from him. You're doing everything you can to be like him. That means we're both still letting him run our lives.”

For a moment Link stared at him, dark eyes unreadable. “Yeah, well, there's not much we can do about that, is there?”

“We can stop.” The conviction settled into his soul, so strong he didn't even mind the fact that Anne was hearing all of this. “We can forgive him.”

He hadn't known it was true until he'd said it. A sense of release slid through him. All this time, trying to be the opposite of everything his father stood for, he'd still been holding on to his resentment. Letting it control his life.

Link jerked free of him. “I can't!” A shadow crossed his face. “And what difference would it make if I could? He's gone.”

“It won't make a difference to him. Just to us.”

He put his hand on Link's shoulder, feeling his brother tense at his touch. It drove a knife through his heart. He never should have let things get so bad between them. Link was the only family he had in the world, probably the only family he ever would have.

They stood side by side, looking down at their parents' graves. “Let it go, Link. Let them go.”

“Not what you'd call a perfect set of parents, were they?” Bitterness still laced Link's words.

“No, I guess they weren't. But that doesn't mean we have to repeat their mistakes.” His hand tightened on his brother's shoulder. “I haven't exactly been a perfect big brother, either. Maybe I can do better, if you give me a shot at it.”

Mitch felt the tension begin to seep out of Link. “So…if I were trying to do better than they did…” He choked, but went on. “What would I do about this baby?”

That one Mitch knew the answer to. “Sign the papers so Anne can adopt.” He looked at her, seeing the way she cradled the baby close, as if defying anyone to take her away. “Nobody could possibly be a better parent to that little girl than she will be.”

Link looked at Anne and the baby, not speaking. Then he let out a long breath. “Okay. Let's do it.”

Mitch's eyes stung with unshed tears. He nodded. “Follow us back to the office. We can take care of it there.”

A few minutes later Link stood by the desk in Mitch's office. His hands clenched into two tight fists. “I'm ready.”

Anne looked shell-shocked, as if she couldn't handle much more. “Are you sure?”

Link took a step forward and touched Emilie's soft curls. An emotion—sadness?—crossed his face. Then he nodded.

“I'm sure. She belongs with the mother who loves her.” His voice roughened. “I guess Tina knew that. I won't interfere.”

Mitch tried to swallow the lump in his throat. This had been a long time coming, but he finally was getting to see his little brother step up and do the right thing, instead of running away. Maybe there was hope for Link…hope for both of them.

Anne juggled the baby as she fumbled with the catch to her bag.

“Let me take her.” Mitch reached out, and Emilie came eagerly into his arms.

For a moment he thought Anne would snatch the baby back, but then she nodded.

Give me a chance, Anne. Give us a chance.
He wanted to say it, but he couldn't.

Anne unfolded the paper slowly, then held it out to Link.

He took it to Mitch's desk, leaned over to read it.
A muscle worked in his jaw, the only outward sign of his feelings. He reached for a pen and scrawled his signature in a quick slash across the bottom of the page.

Anne's breath escaped in an audible sigh. She had to be thinking that it was over, that Emilie was safe at last.

Link handed the paper to her, and she folded it quickly.

“That's that, then.” Link tried to smile, but it didn't quite work. “You don't need to worry I'll cause problems. I won't.”

Mitch's heart hurt for Link. His little brother had finally started to grow up, but it was a painful process.

“What are you going to do?”

Link shrugged. “Think I'll take on that job in Alaska I told you about.” He aimed a light punch at Mitch's arm. “Who knows? Next time I come back, I might have turned into a responsible citizen. Like my big brother.”

“Stranger things have happened.”

Link glanced from him to Anne. “Looks to me like you could stand to talk things out.”

Mitch, cradling Emilie in his arms, nodded.
If Anne will talk to me, that is.

Link crossed to the door, then looked at them. “You know, I'm not cut out to be a father.” He paused. “But I think I could be a darn good uncle, if the position opens up.”

He closed the door before either of them could respond.

Anne looked at her baby…hers now, for good. The three of them were alone here, just as they'd been that first day when she came to break the news to Mitch. Emilie was perfectly happy in Mitch's arms.

“We do need to talk.” Mitch's voice was a low rumble.

She nodded. “I guess that's why I came back. I couldn't…”

How could she say it? The words didn't seem to exist to explain the tangled emotions she felt at the sight of him.

Mitch looked at Emilie's face, as if trying to discern some resemblance to his brother. “I really didn't think it could be Link. I was so sure he wasn't in town when Tina was here. Sure that was one thing I couldn't blame on him.”

“I know.” She hesitated, feeling her way. They had to get this out between them. “But I don't know why you didn't tell me when you found out.”

Because you couldn't trust me? Just like I couldn't trust you?

He shook his head. “How can I make you understand? The truth just hit me like a sledgehammer. All I could think was that it proved the Donovans were just as bad as everyone always said.”

She saw the anguish in his face as he said the words, and it reached out and gripped her heart, too.

“I wouldn't have thought that. I don't think it now. Link was wrong, but at least he's starting to face up to it.”

“Maybe he'd have faced it sooner if I hadn't blown up at him.” He touched Emilie's hand, and she latched onto his finger. “Anne, you have to know I never intended to hurt you and Emilie. I just wanted a chance to find Link and clear things up with him before I told you. That's all. I would have told you today.” He looked at her, dark eyes intense. “I wish you could believe that.”

Her heart started to pound. He wanted to know she trusted him. Was that so much to ask?

“You…you and Link have made a start at working things out.” That wasn't what she wanted to say. Why was it so hard to tell him what she felt?

He nodded. “The truth is, I let my feelings about my father color everything else in my life. My relationship with my brother, my career, even my relationship with you. I finally saw I had to forgive him, if I wanted any kind of a future.” He looked at her, his dark eyes steady. “What about you, Anne? Are you ready to put the past to rest so we can move on?”

That was the question she'd started to face out on that road. She'd let her relationship with her parents govern her relationship with God, just as Mitch had.
She hadn't even recognized she was doing it. It was time for both of them to stop.

She looked at Mitch holding her child, and her heart swelled. “I'd like to try.”

The love in his eyes took her breath away. “We've got a few hurdles to get over. But God's not finished with us yet.” He took a step toward her. “I love you, Anne. I want to try and make this work. Will you stay? Will you marry me?”

If she didn't take this chance, she knew she'd miss the best God had to offer her. She moved forward, letting Mitch's arms enfold both of them. “We'll stay.”