Destination Wedding ~ A Novel (15 page)

Steven! Even his name left a bad taste in Jim's mouth. How could Claire love such a plain, boring, stiff guy?
He'd never cheat on her, that's why.
But he'd also never love her the way Jim did. He'd known her forever, they shared a child, and he knew everything there was to know about Claire. Jim couldn't make the past go away. He couldn't change the fact that he'd made the biggest mistake of his life by leaving Claire, but he could do everything in his power to let her know he'd love her for the rest of his life. He just had to talk her out of marrying Steven and into loving him again.
Yeah, you idiot. Like that's going to be easy.

Jim turned in his bed and it responded with an ear piercing squeak. Jim groaned. But then he heard a small giggle.

"Hey. Are you still awake?" he whispered to Claire.

"Yeah," Claire whispered back.

"Why?" Jim asked.

"Too many thoughts in my head, I guess."

"Thoughts about what?" Jim wanted to know.

"Nothing. Just go to sleep."

Jim turned again and the bed squawked. Claire laughed again.

"That bed really is terrible, isn't it?" she asked, laughing.

"It's hell. And my back is never going to be the same after this," Jim responded.

Silence filled the room. They listened to the soft sound of the ocean through the open patio door. Finally, Claire spoke up. "Just come sleep in my bed," she said. "It's big enough, and we'll both sleep better if we don’t have to listen to that damn cot."

Jim sat up, surprised. "Really? Are you sure?"

"Yes," Claire told him. "But it's not an invitation to do anything else but sleep. You stay on your side, I'll stay on mine. Got it?"

Jim laughed as he got out of the cot and slipped into the king size bed. "Got it. Just like marriage, right?"

Claire turned and hit him on the arm, but she was laughing.

"Hey. No touching. Stay on your own side," Jim said, teasing.

They both settled in on their own side of the bed. After a few minutes, Jim rolled over, kissed Claire on the cheek, then rolled back. "Thanks," he said softly.

Jim fell asleep with a smile on his face.

Chapter Twelve

Jim awoke feeling rested after a night on a real bed. He turned to see if Claire was awake, then realized that she was already in the bathroom, taking a shower. When she came out, she was dressed in a tank top and cotton shorts with her swimsuit on underneath. Her blond hair was dry and loose, tucked behind her ears. Her skin was lightly tanned and she looked young and happy.

"I'll wait for you if you hurry and shower so we can have breakfast," Claire told Jim.

He headed for the bathroom, forming a plan in his head. He decided that today was the day. He'd tell her that he and Diane were getting divorced. Then, he'd try to slowly work his way back into her heart. It might take a long time, but he didn't care how long it took. He needed Claire back in his life, and he was willing to do anything to get her.

Claire had made the bed and was sitting up against the headboard texting on her phone by the time Jim was ready. Jim frowned. He hoped she wasn't texting Steven.

Claire put down her phone when Jim came out. "Ariana says hi."

Jim's brows rose. "Did you tell her we were sharing a room?"

"Of course," Claire told him. "She's my best friend. But I gave her explicit instructions not to tell Steven."

Jim sat on the edge of the bed. "Is Steven the jealous type?"

Claire shrugged. "I don't know, but I don't want to give him a reason to be. There's no reason to hurt his feelings by telling him we're sharing a room. Nothing's happened. We're just roommates."

Jim looked at her seriously. "Have you decided yet if you're going to marry him?"

"No, not yet. I know it's terrible to make him wait so long, but I'm really torn. I'm not sure I ever want to get married again."

Jim decided that this was his opening. "There's something I need to tell you, Claire."

Claire scooted down to the end of the bed and sat next to Jim. "What could be so serious?" she teased.

"The reason Diane didn't come along had nothing to do with feeling uncomfortable with the family. I just made that up because I was embarrassed to tell the truth." Jim took a deep breath and looked into Claire's blue eyes. "Diane and I are getting a divorce. We've been apart for the past six months."

Claire pulled back a little, away from Jim, her brows knitted in a frown. "What?"

"It just didn't work out between us," Jim said, relieved to finally be telling the truth. "It hasn't been working for months. When she told me that she was not coming on this trip for Mandy's wedding, and that she didn't want me to go either, I'd finally had enough. I wasn't going to split up my family for her. She wasn’t worth it. Frankly, I realized she wasn't worth it six months after we'd married, but I stuck with her anyway. We just weren't meant to be together."

Claire's frown deepened. "I can't believe this. You're getting divorced?"

Jim nodded. "I'm signing the final papers when I get back from this trip." Jim hadn't known how Claire would react to this news, but he hadn't anticipated her looking pained. He watched as she pulled away even farther from him, then stand and walk to the other end of the room, in front of the patio doors.

"I can't believe this," Claire said again. "You're telling me that after less than four years, you're divorcing the woman you left me for."

"We were never meant to be together," Jim said.

"Oh, really," Claire said, her tone changing from surprised to snide. "So, what you're telling me is that you broke up our marriage of twenty years for a woman who you didn't even stay married to for barely four years."

It was Jim's turn to be surprised. He'd have never guessed this conversation would turn on him this way. "No, Claire, wait a minute," he said, wanting to explain, but she raised her hands as if to ward off his words.

"No. I don't want to hear any more of this," Claire told him. "You know, when you left me, it took me a long time to get over it and forgive you. And even then, I still had trouble seeing you with that woman. But I told myself that maybe, just maybe, we weren't meant to be together and if you were happier with Diane, then I should be happy for you. But now you're telling me that you weren't happy. That you married a woman who you fell out of love with soon afterwards." Claire stopped a moment to take a breath. Tears began to roll down her cheeks. "I just can't believe that our marriage meant so little to you that you'd leave me just to marry a woman who you didn't even love enough to stay married to."

Jim stood and stepped toward Claire. "No, Claire. No. It wasn't like that. Please, listen to me…"

"No. Don’t talk to me," Claire said, sorrowfully. "Just leave me alone. I can't even talk to you. Just…leave me alone." Claire ran around Jim and headed out the door and down the stairs.

Jim just stood there in shock. He wanted to follow Claire and beg her forgiveness, but he knew she didn't want to see him right now. He dropped to the bed and stared out the open door.

"Oh, my God," he said, his heart breaking. "What have I done?"

***

Claire had run down the stairs and headed to the street in front of the lodge before she realized where she was going. She swiped the tears from her eyes as anger began to replace the heartache she felt.
How could he have left her for a woman he didn't even love? How could he have thrown away their marriage like it meant nothing to him? Had he ever loved me? Or had he only married me because I was pregnant with Mandy?
Questions spun through Claire's mind as she walked briskly downtown. Locals and tourists waved and said hello, and Claire tried to be nice and return their greetings, but it was so hard. Jim had been her first love, the father of her child, and, she had believed, her soul mate. But he'd left her, and now he revealed to her that the woman he'd left her for hadn't even been worth it.

By the time Claire made it to the coffeehouse, she'd walked off some of her initial anger. She wiped her face to make sure the tear stains didn't show, took a deep breath, and went inside to order a coffee and muffin. She'd have breakfast here, and try to work through her anger enough to get through the rest of the day.

Claire sat at the table that was partially hidden from the stairway and hoped that Jim wouldn't follow her here. She wasn't sure what she'd say to him if he did, and she certainly didn't want to make a scene here. She couldn't believe what a fool she'd been, believing that she and Jim could be friends again. Last night, when he'd kissed her, she knew she shouldn't, but it had felt so good. She'd almost wished they hadn't stopped. Now, today, she knew why he'd kissed her. He was no longer with his wife and he thought he could take advantage of Claire's kindness to him. Well, screw him. He was the last man on earth she'd ever be with again.

"Hey, Claire. Mind if I join you?"

Claire turned, startled by Glen's voice. She'd been so engrossed in her own thoughts, she hadn't heard him walk up behind her. "Yes. Of course. Sit down. Do you want something? A coffee?"

Glen sat in the seat across from Claire and shook his head. "I already had breakfast down by the pool this morning. I had a talk with Jim. Are you okay?"

Claire swallowed hard. She didn't want to cry in front of her brother over her ex-husband. "Did he tell you everything?"

"He said he told you he was divorcing Diane and you became angry with him," Glen said.

Claire's lips drew into a thin line. "Can you believe that? His marriage to her didn't even last four years. I can't believe he left me for someone he couldn't even stay married to."

Glen sat back and looked at Claire. "I can believe it," he said.

Claire frowned. "Why?"

"Because he was married to the wrong woman. It's obvious he should have stayed married to you."

Claire's mouth dropped open. "What do you mean?"

Glen leaned forward and folded his hands on the table. "It's always been obvious to me that Jim and you belong together. You were the perfect couple. His leaving you is what never made any sense. He belongs with you, Claire. Always has."

Tears threatened to fill Claire's eyes again. "He didn't want me, Glen. He's the one who left. I was there for him, and he didn’t want me. Now, I don't want him. I'll never be able to trust him again."

"Oh, Baby Sister," Glen said, his voice gentle with love. "You can say that all you want, but you know it's not true. You still have feelings for Jim. It's so obvious, and there's nothing you can do about them."

"What are you talking about?" Claire asked angrily. She couldn't believe Glen had said that. "I don’t still have feelings for Jim. I'm with Steven now. I was only being nice to Jim for Mandy's sake."

"Oh. Is that what you call it?" Glen asked with a grin.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Claire insisted. "I can barely stand being around Jim. The only reason we've been together this week is because we were stuck sharing a room and everyone else was paired off as couples. We had no choice but to do things together."

"Well, you can tell yourself whatever you want, Claire, but it won't make it true. I've watched you two this week. Your emotions have been all over the place. First you hate him, then you're sharing dessert with him. Now you hate him again. Come on, Claire. The only reason you're mad at him about divorcing Diane is because you still have feelings for him." When Claire started to protest, Glen raised his hand palm up to stop her. "No, you listen. You can't be mad at someone you don't care about. If you really didn’t have feelings for Jim, you wouldn't have cared at all that he's getting a divorce. Until you admit it, Baby Sis, you're just going to be miserable."

Claire sat quiet a moment, absorbing what Glen had said. She replayed the week in her head. She'd been nervous about spending a week on an island with Jim and Diane, and then was relieved when Diane hadn't come. She'd been angry when she found out that Jim didn't have a room and they'd have to share, but they'd managed to make it work after all. Then, Jim had coaxed her into having fun, and she had. She knew that if Steven had been here, they would never have enjoyed going bar hopping with the younger group, he'd have never talked her into going up in the lighthouse, and they wouldn't have gone parasailing. Claire had enjoyed all of those things, and it was because of Jim. And now, she was angry with him again. Glen was right. The week had been filled with emotional turmoil between her and Jim. But that didn't mean she still had feelings for him. Did it?

Claire thought back to last night and the kiss on the dunes. It had felt so warm and loving, just like when they'd been married. She'd liked feeling that way again. She loved kissing him. She'd stopped them. because at the time, she'd thought he was still married. Would she have stopped at just a kiss if she'd known otherwise?

Claire looked up at Glen, who'd been watching her as she thought it all through. "You're right about the fact that we've gone through a range of emotions since coming here. That was to be expected. Jim and I never had a chance to talk through what had gone wrong with our marriage and why he'd left. It had felt like a death to me, where I never had any closure. And yes, I'm angry because he broke up our marriage for a woman who wasn't worth it. But as far as my having feelings for Jim, I'm not sure what I feel. He can be so nice, and so frustrating, all at the same time."

Glen chuckled. "Nobody ever said life was easy."

Claire made a face at him. "You're no help at all."

Glen turned serious. "Jim told me that Steven proposed marriage to you."

Claire looked surprised. "He wasn't supposed to say anything to anyone about that."

"Are you going to marry him?"

"I don't know. I haven't decided yet," she answered honestly.

"Do you love Steven?"

"What's not to love about Steven? He's kind, thoughtful, and considerate. And he's loyal."

Glen stared hard at Claire. "A dog has all those traits, too. But you didn’t answer the question. Do you love him?"