Destine (The Watcher's Trilogy) (25 page)

As I reached for the doorknob I heard Gabriel say, “I’m sorry.
”

I spun around to face him. “For what?
” I snapped
.
It occurred to me that I wanted out of this house because I didn’t want to deal wit
h the
mood he was in
.
He was feeling sorry for himself, and if anyone should be feeling sorry for
themselves
it was me
.
I should be at home doing homework, talking on the phone to a best friend not infatuated with the Antichrist
, with a normal mother down
stairs, and plans to go shopping on Saturday
.
Not worrying about every stranger I ran into being a horseman of the apocalypse
.

“I let you dow
n, I was no help at all tonight.
I may as well not even been there,” was his answer
.

I took a deep b
reath and calmed my sudden rage.
“Listen Gabriel, you knew that I had to do this
.
You said it
yourself, you’re here to guide
me but
it’s
my destiny to do this
on my own.
”

“It
’
s just so frustrating
.
I
want to protect you, I wan
t to save you
from all of this.” H
e was staring at his hands
lying
in his lap
.

I walked back over to the sofa
and knelt down in front of him.
“Listen to me
.
When you got involved in this it was to save humanity, to stop the apocalypse
.
Now if you save me from my role, then you
’
r
e
not saving humanity
.
You’re only saving me, and condemning the rest of humanity to
destruction
.
Where’s the sense in that?”

“When this all started I understood that, but the more time I spend with you the harder it is to let you risk yourself.”

“You have to let me do this
.
If I don’t
,
then what will all of this have been for
?
You falling from heaven, my mother going crazy, I have to believe it
’
s all for a reason
.
I can’t fail after the people I love have made such
sacrifices
.
”

He looked up into
my face.
“Michelle, I’ve never understood before how humans can make such selfish choices until this moment
.
Love is a selfish emotion
.
When you love someone, you would do anything for that person
.
You want to protect them, provide for them,
and make
their life everything it should be
regardless
of who you hurt in the process
.
My love for you makes me selfish, I no longer care about humanity as a whole
;
I care about you and only you.
”

My breath caught in my throat.
I reached out and laid a hand on the side of his face
.
He
turned into my hand and let
me cradle his face.
“I love you
, too. A
nd that’s why I have to succeed
.
You gave up everything and I have to make that mean something.
”
I leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips
.
“But now I have to go home.
”
With that I strode to the door and walked out into the crisp
,
clear night air
.

As I walked home alone o
n the clear autumn night I again found myself alone with my thoughts
.
Gabriel had offered me a way out
.
He had wanted me to take it; he wanted me to walk away from all this
.
It was a tempting offer, but what good would that do
?
The evil that had descended onto our little town had to be stopped
.
I knew Alex wouldn’t stop at class president; I had to stop him before his evil saturated the planet
.
It would probably take years for him to gain enough power to send the entire world spiraling into chaos, but how could I simply sit by and watch even if I was
in Gabriel’s arms
.
No, I had to follow this t
h
rough even if it was the last thing I did
.
Gabriel had told me about free will, and this must have been what he meant by it
.
No one was forcing me to follow this destiny, actually Gabriel was asking me not to, but I was choosing it all the same because that’s what my free will al
lowe
d me to do
.

As I walked through the back door to my house, all the lights were off
.
The clock on the stove read ten thirty
.
I was judging by the complete lack of light that everyone was in bed
.
I snuck through the living room and
d
own the hallway
.
When I reached my parents bedroom door it was open a crack
.
I pushed
it open a little further and pee
ked in
.
The light coming through the window fro
m the
streetlights
outside allowe
d me to see my
father
and mother asleep in their bed
.
I crept around the bed
,
to the side on which my mother slept
.
I knelt down above her sleeping
head
and whispered, “Thank
you,”
laying
a gentle
kiss on her forehead
.
She stirred but didn’t wake
.
I then crept to my bedroom further down the hall
.
Clearly no one was worried about where I had been tonight, but given my previous track record of going
nowhere
and doing nothing they
probably
weren’t worried
.
Of course
,
who
knew
what my mother thought
.
Gabriel’s words kept ringing in the back of my mind, “Your mother
knows
more than you think.
”

I shook my head
,
attempting to clear my thoughts
.
I slid
out of my jeans and t-shirt and put on my
favorite
pair of flannel
pjs
before climbing into bed
.
I was exhausted and I felt myself being sucked down into sleep before my head even hit the pillow
.
I was looking forward to so
me
well-deserved
sleep, but apparently
saving my high school from the red horseman didn’t give me a free pass for the night
.
As I drifted into sleep, the dream started and I was pulled into a world I didn’t un
derstand but was nonetheless
a part of
.

I was in a room I didn’t recognize
.
I
t
was a small room with four white walls and no windows
.
I didn’
t see a door and I felt as if I were
in a large box with no way out.
I began to panic, maybe this was reality, maybe I w
a
s in some insane asylum
and this was my lucid moment in between
delusions
.
I was working myself
into a panic when a booming voice rang out through the room
.
The voice was
so loud I had to throw my hands over my ears just to be able to stand the volume
.
The voice spoke, “You’re body slumber
s
while yo
ur mind is imprisoned he
r
e
.
”

“Why am I here? Who has imprisoned me? How long will I be here?
”
The conformation that it was a dream did little to ease my panic
.
Knowing your mind is bein
g imprisoned by an unseen force
is no more comforting than thinking
you’re
insane
.

“I will not answer the questions of a hysterical woman,” the voice bellowed.

I took a deep breath and attempted to calm myself
.
Even if I couldn’t slow my
heartbeat
, I
could at least steady my voice.
“Who are you?”

“I am one of many, we are
the bearers of conscience and the keepers of history
.
I believe your kind refers to us as the Powers.
”

“The Powers?
”
Nope
,
didn’t s
ound familiar.
I racked my brain
.
The Power
s
, the Powers
…
then something clicked
.
“
As in the Powers that be?
”
I asked in astonishment.

“That is a common expression that refers to us, yes, but we are not the decision makers
.
We simply record the events laid out before us.
”

“Who lays the events out
?
Who makes those decisions?
”
I suspected I k
new the answer
.
I was expecting
the voice to tell me that God made these decisions
.
That we were all living out God’s plan, but the voice surprised me
.

“The Ophanim mak
e
these decisions.”

“What
…
what
is an Ophanim?” I thought for sure I hadn’t heard the voice correctly
.

“The Ophanim is God’s justice, God’s authority. ‘When they moved, the others moved, when they stopped, the others stopped; and when they rose from
earth
the wheel rose along with them; for the sp
irit of the living creatures were
in the wheels,’ Ezekiel 10:17.
”

“So this wheel is the Ophanim
?
Like the circle of life?
”
Somehow the more answers the voice gave me, the less I understood
.

“You could consider it ‘the circle of life’ as you call it
.
It is the cycle to which everything is bound
.
No matter who or what you are, we all answer to the Ophanim.
”

“What does the Ophanim want with me?
”
I was starting to wonder why I was here
.
It
certainly
wasn’t for clarity
,
because I was more confused than I was when I started
.

“The Ophanim wants nothing
.
Only living, breathing things want
.
The Ophanim is pure justice
.”

“Then why am I here?
”
I wasn’t sure if it was the booming, disembodied voice, the bright white light, or confusion, but I was getting a headache
.

“You are here because the Ophanim has blessed you as a keeper of God’s justice on
earth
.
With the defeat of the War Horse, you are now a defender of heaven
.
We have seen many defenders of heaven in our time, and even more false defenders of heaven.”

“By ‘We’
do
you mean the Powers?” I asked.

“Yes
,
the keepers of history have recorded many defenders of heaven
.
I have witnessed that you hold the relic of one such warrior, history has named her Joan of Arc.
”

With every answer he ga
ve me, the more questions I had.
“If I am one of many defenders of heaven
.
Why have I been brain-
napped and brought here?
”