Destined (23 page)

“Please tell her about today,” Rephaim said to me.

I stifled a sigh. “Kalona wants a truce with us.” After the commotion of everyone being all “no way” and “oh please”—well, everyone except Shaunee and Rephaim—I went on to explain exactly what had happened between Kalona, Rephaim, and me, and summed up with, “So, no, I don’t think we can trust him, but having a truce with him isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

“Rephaim needs to keep our business to hisself,” Kramisha added, giving Rephaim a hard look.

“Yeah, we’ve already talked about that. Right, Rephaim?” I said.

“I won’t tell Father our secrets,” Rephaim said.

“It’s more than that, though,” Stark said. “It’s not a secret that we’re living here, but that’s something Kalona didn’t need to know.”

“If it’s not a secret Father could have found out anywhere,” Rephaim said.

“Yeah, maybe. But did ya ever think that maybe if he really had left Tulsa and was out west somewhere and he thought you were at the House of Night surrounded by Sons of Erebus he would have kept flying west and we’d be rid of him?” Stark said.

“That wasn’t going to happen. Father wasn’t going to leave me.”

“He already did!” Stevie Rae suddenly blew. She stood up and wrapped her arms around herself as if she was trying to physically hold her emotions in check. “He left you when you made a choice for good. He’s only come back now ’cause your brothers couldn’t get you to spy for him. So now he’s tryin’ for himself.”

“Spy?” Darius said.

Rephaim was looking at Stevie Rae as if she’d slapped him, but he answered Darius. “Yes. That is what my brothers came to ask of me. I refused right before Dragon and the Aurox creature found me.”

“Okay, look, like I already said, it’s clear that we shouldn’t trust Kalona, but I do think that he made a valid point today. If Neferet is immortal and can only be destroyed by herself, then we definitely need help in figuring out how to push her in that direction.” I paused and then added, “I also think we can trust Rephaim, even though he loves his dad.”

“Kalona is a ticking time bomb,” Stark said.

“So once were you. So once was I,” Rephaim said.

Stevie Rae unwrapped her arms from around herself and took Rephaim’s hand. “I was a time bomb, too, Rephaim, just like you guys. But all three of us made the choice for Light. Your daddy hasn’t. Please, you gotta remember that.”

“Again, I agree with the bumpkin,” Aphrodite said.

“So do I,” Erin said.

There was an obvious pause where Erin looked at Shaunee, who didn’t echo her in Twin-like fashion and didn’t meet her gaze.

“Well, that’s a miracle. Someone call the Vatican,” Aphrodite said dryly.

With the hand Stevie Rae wasn’t holding, Rephaim reached out and pulled Kramisha’s poem across the table. He glanced down and then read, “‘Darkness does not always equate to evil. Light does not always bring good.’ Maybe things aren’t exactly as they appear.”

“I know one thing that is for sure and exactly as it appears,” I said. “I was there in the Otherworld when Kalona asked Nyx if she would forgive him. The Goddess said only after he earned the right to ask. He hasn’t earned it, Rephaim.”

“Yet,” Shaunee said softly.

“Yet,” Rephaim echoed.

“Yet?” Erin said, shaking her head.

“All right, here’s the deal: until Kalona earns the right to ask for Nyx’s forgiveness, we do not trust him. We can truce with him, but it’s under the heading of my enemy’s enemy is my friend.” I said, hoping I’d gotten that quote right. “Period, the end.”

“But not trusting him doesn’t mean not hoping,” Shaunee said.

“No, it doesn’t mean that,” I said slowly, hating the resigned, sad look in my BFF’s eyes as she stared at Rephaim.

“I won’t let you down.” Rephaim spoke first to Stevie Rae, then his gaze moved to the rest of us. “It’s like Shaunee said—I can hope, but I won’t trust.”

“He’s going to break your heart,” Stevie Rae said.

“Too late to worry about that,” he said. “He already did.” And then a shudder rippled through Rephaim’s body. I swear I saw his skin twitch. “Dawn.” He stood, kissed Stevie Rae gently. “I must go. I love you.”

“I’ll go with—” Stevie Rae began, but then stopped herself. “No, you don’t want me to. It’s okay. I know it’s something you have to do alone.” She tiptoed and kissed him quickly. “Go on before you get caught down here.”

Rephaim nodded and then sprinted from the room.

“Huh. So, he turns into a bird? Just like that?” Aphrodite said.

“Besides the fact that it hurts him and humiliates him, yeah, just like that,” Stevie Rae said and, with a little sob, she bolted from the kitchen.

“Oh, for shit’s sake, I was just asking. She doesn’t need to be so sensitive about it.”

“How would you feel if Darius turned into a bird every day?” I asked her, trying (futilely) to get her to empathize with Stevie Rae.

“Annoyed,” she said. “I like to cuddle.” Aphrodite seemed to be considering something, and then she added, “You know, she might try sticking him in a really,
really
big cage just before dawn. Maybe she could tame him.”

We all gawked at her.

“What? It’s an idea.”

“One best kept to yourself,” Damien said.

“So that means I should or shouldn’t add it to the long shopping list I’m making for home improvements this weekend?”

“I say add it if you let me in on making the rest of the list,” Kramisha said.

“I’m gonna go talk to my BFF,” I said. “You two shop, but don’t shop mean.”

“Hey, if it’s okay I’m going to bed,” Stark said. “I can feel the sun dragging me down.”

I forced a smile on my face and kissed him. “Sure, I’ll be there in just a little while.”

“Take your time. Be sure Stevie Rae’s okay.” With barely a glance at me he waved at the rest of the kids and walked heavily from the room.

He’d be asleep when I got to our bed. It made me feel weird, like I was suddenly having a relationship with an old man who couldn’t stay awake. But I shook off the feeling, said bye to the group, and hurried to Stevie Rae’s neat little room.

She was sitting on the bed bawling her eyes out and hugging Nala.

“Hey, baby girl,” I said, sitting beside them and petting Nala. “Are ya takin’ care of Stevie Rae?”

That made my BFF smile through her tears. “Yeah, she was in here already. She pretended to be all super grumpy, but she jumped right up on my lap and after she sneezed on me she put her paws on my chest and her face next to mine and started purrin’.”

“Nal’s good at her job,” I said.

“Job?” Stevie Rae sniffed and grabbed a tissue from the box by the bed.

“Cat Therapist. When she’s in her professional mode I like to think of her as Doctor Nal.”

“Does she charge by the hour?” she asked, petting Nala who had definitely turned her purr machine on high.

“Yep. She works for catnip. Lots of it.”

Stevie Rae smiled and wiped her eyes. “I’ll be sure to get me a bunch.”

“Wanna call your mom? Would that make you feel better?”

“Nah, she’s busy getting breakfast for my brothers. I’m fine.”

I gave her A Look.

“Okay, well, I’ll be fine. I’m just so worried about Rephaim. I know y’all can’t forget that he’s a Raven Mocker, but I wish you could understand that he’s really not evil anymore. Since Nyx changed him, he’s just a regular boy during the sunset hours. And he doesn’t know much about being a boy. Z, I’m afraid Kalona is gonna to do something that will make him mess up, and then he’ll have his humanity taken away from him.” She burst into noisy tears.

I pulled her into a big hug, complaining Nala and all. “No, honey! That’s not gonna happen. Once the Goddess gives a gift she doesn’t take it away, even if free will makes someone totally mess things up. I mean, Neferet is the perfect example. She’s seriously, totally messed up and still has a bunch of Goddess-given powers. Rephaim is gonna stay a boy at night. What you have to do is decide whether you can live with the weakness that his being human brings with it.”

“But love isn’t a weakness,” she said.

“Loving the wrong person is,” I said.

Her eyes got big and round and more tears spilled over them. “Do you think it’s wrong that I love him?”

“No, honey. I think it’s wrong that he loves Kalona—and that makes him weak.” I paused and in a small voice admitted, “I know about that. I’ve been there. You know I thought I loved Kalona and that made me believe he was changing.”

“Yeah, I figured that.”

“It took him killing Heath to wake me up,” I said.

“What if it takes something terrible like that to get Rephaim to quit believing he will change?”

I sighed. “Maybe it’s not so much that Rephaim thinks Kalona will change, but more that he
hopes
he will.”

“Is there a difference between the two?”

“Yeah, I think there’s a big difference between believing something will happen and just hoping for it,” I said. “Give Rephaim a chance to deal with this. It’s a hard thing, and like you said, it’s all new to him. Just love him for a while and see what happens. I do believe he’d never hurt you on purpose,” I said.

“I’ll love him and see what happens,” she agreed. Then she drew a deep breath and hugged me hard, causing Nala to grumble and squirm.

Stevie Rae and I laughed at her and spent some time settling the cat down, and then I said, “Okay, I’m gonna fall over right here if I don’t get to my bed.” I kissed Nala on top of the head and handed her to Stevie Rae. “Keep Dr. Nal. She’s a good cuddler.”

“Thanks, Z. You’re the best.”

I ducked out of Stevie Rae’s blanket door and made my way slowly down the tunnel until I came to the pink My Little Pony blanket I’d made Stark tack up as our door. I ran my hand down the soft front of it and let myself smile as I remembered how I used to play dress up with My Little Pony and how Mom had cut some of the ponies’ hair short so I’d know which were the boys and which were the girls.

Mom …

I closed my eyes and centered myself. “Spirit, I need you,” I called softly. I felt the infilling of the element almost immediately. “This time could you stay with me a little while, just until I fall asleep?” Spirit answered my question with a rush of feeling that made me feel warm and very tired.

I ducked under the pink blanket and walked quietly to the bed. I knew he’d be asleep. I lay down beside him, pulled my blue blanket over both of us, and watched Stark for a few minutes while I let spirit lull me. He was frowning in his sleep. Under his eyelids I could see his eyes moving like he was watching a Ping-Pong match with his eyes closed. I touched his forehead gently, with just the tips of my fingers, trying to soothe away his stress. “It’s okay,” I whispered. “Don’t have bad dreams.” It seemed to work a little because he let out a long breath, his face relaxed, and he threw an arm around me so I could snuggle close while I finally fell into deep, dreamless sleep.

Kalona

At first it had been simple, even accidental, that Kalona had followed the thread of shared immortal spirit that bound him with Stark. He had slipped into the young vampyre’s mind easily. But as the days multiplied and their experience in the Otherworld faded further and further into the past, Kalona found the job of invading Stark’s subconscious more and more difficult.

The boy’s mind was rebelling.

Kalona’s invading spirit had to remain still and simply observe, or only make small suggestions to the Warrior Guardian of Zoey Redbird, or Stark’s subconscious resisted and, more often than not, severed the thread that tied the two of them, ejecting Kalona’s spirit in a most uncomfortable manner.

Of course it did tend to be easier if the boy was distracted by either making love to Zoey or when he was asleep and dreaming.

Initially, Kalona had preferred entering Stark as he entered Zoey. It was, indeed, pleasurable. But the sex was also a diversion the winged immortal didn’t need. So as the days and nights passed, Kalona had returned to a skill he’d perfected eons ago—he entered Stark’s dreams.

The immortal did not manipulate the Warrior’s dreams, though, as he had done to Zoey and many others.

That would have been too obvious. Stark would have recognized what was happening. If he became cognizant of Kalona’s presence the boy could borrow elemental power from Zoey and block Kalona. At the very least Stark would have been on guard against him, and then observing Stark’s subconscious would have been little except a boring waste of his immortal time. Staying secret—acting subtly—that was what he must do. Yes, it was far better to lurk quietly in the recesses of Stark’s mind—to whisper dark thoughts—to eavesdrop.

It was a happy coincidence that the young vampyre’s dreaming mind enjoyed talking to itself. Odd, really, how Stark’s subconscious tended to circle around to the same dream where he faced himself on a small piece of earth surrounded by nothingness, and talked to a mirror image of himself who was tougher and meaner than the real Stark and whom the vampyre called The Other. Stark didn’t travel to The Other’s presence every night, but when he did Kalona often overheard interesting pieces from the boy’s day.

This night Kalona was ready to sever their tether, disgusted by a banal dream of Stark remembering happy scenes from his childhood, when the dream shifted and the child Stark grew, changed, and doubled. Kalona stilled himself and watched as the mirror images began speaking.

“Crappy day, fucknuts?”

“Yeah, and you’re the turd cherry on the top of this banana split of a crap day.”

“Hey, Stark, no problem. You can always count on me to keep ya real. So why don’t we talk about how today would have been lots easier if you’d manned up and hadn’t been so fucking nice.”

“Yeah, Other. That’s one thing I can count on from you—a bad attitude.”

“Yeah, fucknuts, my attitude sucks, but I don’t cry about having bad days. You can count on that.”

“I can also count on Zoey being in danger from people who are too damn close to her for comfort.”

“Might as well spill your guts. You know I’ll always play devil’s advocate.”