Destined Mate (Catamount Lion Shifters #4) (3 page)

Chloe was lovely with golden hair and forest green eyes, yet Hayden felt absolutely no spark with her. Which was good because Dane would probably tear his throat out if he did. Hayden only considered Chloe in contrast to the effect Shana had on him. After dropping her off this morning, she’d sauntered through his thoughts here and there throughout the day, but he’d mostly convinced himself his reaction to her was overblown. Then, she’d walked into her brother’s house for dinner. It was as if a match lit the air between them, a flame licking its way across the room.

Hayden chanced a look in her direction. She swirled a glass of wine in her hand, the deep red of the wine matching the scarf draped across her shoulders. Her hair glinted under the lights. Her silver eyes tilted up to meet his. Lust tightened inside. She swung her gaze to Chloe with a smile.

“Spring may come late up north, but it’s that much sweeter for the wait,” Shana said.

Chloe angled her head to the side. “I suppose so. I almost did cartwheels the other day when I saw the daffodils blooming.”

Dane slid his arm across her shoulder and leaned over to drop a lingering kiss on Chloe’s cheek. “I told Chloe we’d have to bring the old greenhouse back to life,” he said, his eyes catching Shana’s.

Shana smiled softly in reply, her gaze wistful. “Have you used it at all since Mom passed away?”

Dane shook his head. “Nope. Kept meaning to get around to it, but gardening was never my thing.”

Chloe grinned up at him. “I’ve already made plans for next year.” She glanced at Hayden and stood. “You must be tired after that long flight.” She turned back to Dane as she circled the table, gathering plates and silverware. “Did you get the extra apartment ready for Hayden over at the guesthouse?”

Dane shrugged. “Nothing to get ready.” He turned to Shana. “Would you mind showing Hayden the guest apartment over there?”

Shana nodded, her expression controlled and unreadable. Hayden had purposefully steered clear of asking Dane outright if he’d be staying in the same guesthouse where Shana was. Though it appeared he’d be in a separate apartment, his body kicked up a notch from its state of high idle at the mere thought of being in proximity to Shana. He must have blanked out how flat-out sexy Shana was before he’d planned this trip. His mind had been solely focused on the ongoing investigation into the shifter smuggling network in Bozeman, Montana. He’d been relieved to learn Catamount had taken down Wallace Peyton and his cohort. Hayden still didn’t think the source of the network was in Bozeman, but it was wreaking havoc among shifters in the area. Factions were drawing lines within the shifter community. Some shifters had even fallen prey to addiction while others gloried in the quick influx of cash. Hayden hoped he’d find a few trails to follow after he had a chance to talk to the shifters here. In the meantime, Shana’s presence was a temptation he hadn’t even considered.

He needed to get a handle on himself because he didn’t need Dane to pick up on his feelings. Dane was understandably protective of his sister after what she’d been through over the last year. Hayden had been nothing beyond polite with Shana in Dane’s presence, so he could only hope Dane hadn’t noticed anything else. Dane followed Chloe into the kitchen. Hayden took a deep breath and stood to help finish clearing the table. The mundane activity brought his focus away from Shana. By the time she walked into the kitchen a few minutes later, he firmly had the reins on his control.

***

Shana led the way down the granite walkway toward the entrance to the additional guest apartment in the old renovated barn. Hayden followed a few feet behind her. As promised, she was showing him the small apartment where Dane had offered for him to stay. The entrance was on the other side of the barn from where she stayed. Her heart pounded in time with each step she took. Over dinner, she’d come to a decision. The effect Hayden had on her was like nothing she’d ever experienced. She was tired of sticking to the script she thought she should follow—the one that involved her acting only when she thought her choices would be approved by others. That had gotten her nothing but a cold marriage to a man whose lies went far beyond their marriage. Hayden would come and go, so it wouldn’t matter if she had a fling with him. She didn’t know what anyone else might think of her choice, but she didn’t care.

Since Callen’s death, she felt more trapped than she’d felt when he was alive. Now, she had to carry the burden of his betrayal, in addition to the weight of their failed marriage. By the end of it all, she’d felt like half a woman. She couldn’t recall the last time a man had noticed her until she’d met Hayden out in Montana. She’d thought it was a fluke, perhaps all in her head. Until this morning when she’d kissed Hayden. She had a taste of what it meant to feel something again, and she was determined to have more.

So she decided she would let herself have something—Hayden specifically. The only question remained was whether he’d allow it. After their kiss, she believed he wanted her, perhaps even as much as she wanted him. But she didn’t know if he’d allow his misguided honor to get in the way.

She reached the door and quickly turned the key in the lock. Flicking the lights on, she gestured for Hayden to come inside.

“Here you are,” she said, swinging her arms around the room.

Hayden took a few steps inside and turned in a circle. Though it was small, the space was lovely. The original plank wood flooring had been finished to a shine. An efficiency kitchen was to one side of the room with the rest living space. A tiny woodstove painted bright red sat in the corner with a couch and matching chairs overflowing with pillows nearby. An alcove at the back held the doors to the bathroom and bedroom. The remaining door led into the area where she was staying. She gave Hayden a tour in less than three minutes.

When they stepped back into the central area, Shana shivered. She glanced to the woodstove. “We need to get you some wood in here. Let me check to see if the propane stove works. Dane may have forgotten to check on that.”

She fiddled with the controls on the small propane heater. “I think we’re out of luck.” She glanced up at Hayden who stepped to her side. He proceeded to do just as she’d done and shrug.

“Suppose I didn’t need to bother seeing as you just did that,” he said with a chuckle.

“Let’s get you some wood from my place. I have plenty stacked inside.”

She stepped a little too quickly, her stiff hip hobbling her for a moment.

“Easy.” Hayden’s low voice sent shivers through her. His hand curled around her arm, the touch sending ripples of heat outward through her body.

Her breath caught, but she held still. Much as she wanted him, she wasn’t as brazen as she’d like to be because she hesitated.

His eyes met hers, banked heat in them. His gaze was like warm brown sugar sliding over her. She forced herself to breathe and nodded towards the door that led into her apartment.

His eyes swung to the door and back to her, a question in them.

“Come on. Right through here.” She broke free from his soft grasp and stepped to the door. Another turn of the key, and they walked into her apartment. Warmth seeped through her. The chilly air outside was cold enough to leave a spring frost on the ground. Flicking on a few lamps, she made her way to the far side of the apartment by the entryway where she kept wood stacked in a rack by the door.

Suddenly, she stopped and whirled around, almost colliding with Hayden who was right behind her. Her heart battered against her ribs. She focused on the flicker of heat Hayden had set to life inside of her. It made her remember she had the capacity to feel passion, to feel anything, again. She gathered the tattered remnants her courage and met his eyes. He was a tall man, his presence strong and almost hulking. His tawny gaze held hers. When she couldn’t find words, she followed her body’s lead.

Only inches separated them. She closed the gap and slid her palm up his chest, savoring the flex of his muscles under her touch. His heart beat strong and sure as she coasted over it. His breath hissed between his teeth when she stroked up his neck and threaded her fingers in his hair.

Hayden opened his mouth to say something, and Shana tugged him down to meet her lips. The initial point of contact sent a jolt of sensation streaking through her. His muscles flexed under her hands and then he moved swiftly, stroking a hand up into her hair and the other sliding around her waist to tug her against him. She gasped at the feel of him. His tongue dove inside. Their kiss went wild. He stroked deeply into her mouth before gentling his touch, tracing her with his tongue and nipping at her bottom lip before diving in again. She’d meant to take control and found herself awash in waves of longing, drugged by his overpowering presence and the feel of him against her. His arousal was hard against her hip.

He stroked roughly through her hair, angling her head back as he tore his lips from hers. They blazed a hot, wet trail around her ear and down her neck, sending hot shivers coursing through her. His palm slid up her back, a path of pure heat and strength. She arched into him, frantic to get closer. Longing surged through her, so deep it shook her to her core. Too long without any intimate touch, she’d wondered if she’d lost the capacity to feel passion. With Hayden, she came afire in his arms.

His lips and tongue meandered in slow, tortuous path along her collarbone, dipping down to the valley between her breasts. He started to tug at her blouse when he froze completely. His lips left her skin, and he lifted his head. His warm amber eyes met hers. Her pulse beat so rapidly, she could barely catch her breath. It felt as if they were suspended in time, hot, liquid need pulsing between them, an otherworldly passion shimmering in the air around them.

He looked almost pained. He swallowed, easing his grip slightly. He cleared his throat. “Shana, you have to know I want you. So much.” His voice was rough, barely above a whisper, the sound itself shimmying under her skin, amping up the sensation coursing through her. “I don’t know if this is such a good idea. Your husband…”

Anger arced through her. She shook her head sharply. “My husband not only wasn’t the man I thought he was, he hadn’t touched me in over two years when he died. Our marriage was a joke.”

Hayden’s eyes widened, sadness and confusion passing through them.

She took a shaky breath. “No one knew what it was like. Before he died, I was trying to get the courage to divorce him. When I met you in Montana, it was the first time in years I felt something. After wasting too many years of my life the way I did, I don’t want to do that anymore. I barely know you, but I know what I feel between us. I don’t have any expectations. I just don’t want to be the good girl anymore. I want a chance to feel something again. If you’re worried it will get complicated, it won’t. I know you enough to guess you might worry about my brother. Don’t. I’m far past needing him to take care of me. It’s none of his business.”

She ran out of words and remained still. To say aloud what her marriage with Callen had really been was such a relief, emotion tightened her chest for a moment before loosening with the release of the secret. Her eyes fell, landing on the golden skin at Hayden’s throat. The collar of his shirt was open, revealing just enough skin to tempt her. She knew by touch that he was all muscle under there. Desire raced through her, ebbing and flowing with each breath and beat of her heart.

“Shana.” Hayden’s voice was low, taut and vibrating with feeling.

She met his eyes again. Her low belly clenched, wet heat pulsed between her thighs.

“I’m sorry.”

For a moment, she thought he was saying he was sorry, but he couldn’t be with her. Shame began to rise inside of her. Mortified that she’d dredged up the courage to approach him, she questioned if she misunderstood what she thought she felt from him. She started to pull back, but he held her firm, a hand tightening on her hip while the other slid around her back. His eyes held hers, searching.

He shook his head slowly. “No, I’m sorry for what your marriage was. You didn’t deserve that, no one does.”

Relief eased the tension rising in her. For all her bravado in practically launching herself at him, she was suddenly shy. To have the truth of her life out there made her feel too exposed, too vulnerable. After a year of one train wreck after another, all the while trying to keep her chin up, the weariness started to edge its way into the moment.

Hayden’s eyes held hers expectantly. She pulled the words up out of her. “No, no one deserves that. It’s made everything that happened over the last year…complicated.”

He nodded slowly. “It was complicated to begin with, but yeah, I’m guessing that made things even harder for you.”

Silence fell again. He still held her close. His heart beat against her hand. The heat of his palm on her back anchored her. Desire pricked at her. She didn’t want the truth of her life to interfere with what she felt. She needed to
feel
, to just
be,
she needed the escape his touch offered.

She idly traced the edge of his collar, his skin warm under her touch. His breath came out in a sharp gust. Whatever he thought, his body couldn’t lie. The heat of his arousal was still evident, a hot brand against the edge of her hip. “So?” she asked, her voice coming out rough.

His eyes, those eyes she could lose herself in, burned into her. “You’re right that I might have worried about what Dane thought. Not because I think Dane has the right to say anything about who you’re with, but because I didn’t want to take advantage of you.”

“You’re not. I am grieving what’s happened, but not the way you maybe thought. I grieved my marriage for years. Since Callen died, I’ve had to come to terms with how many levels of his life were a lie. But don’t think for a minute you’re taking advantage. If you respect me, don’t let your decisions include what my overbearing brother might think. I’m far past needing his protection. I want this, I want you.”

Hayden held still, the silence between them weighted, before nodding once. He didn’t say a word. He simply tightened his fingers in her hair and fit his mouth over hers again.