Destiny Forgiven (Shadows of Destiny) (12 page)

_{Or she could use this to her advantage.}

_{Trying to still her shaky breath, she moved her hands up his arm. Maddox must’ve thought
she and Dalton were a couple. “I miss you too.”}

_{He pushed the blanket down off her shoulders. It was clear what he wanted. Could she have sex with Maddox while he was glamoured to look like Dalton? It would be weird. She’d probably never be able to look at Dalton the same again.
If
he was still alive. Her heart sank but she steeled her courage and pushed that idea away.}

_{Don’t be silly, Felicity.}

_{Of course she could. This was survival time. Maybe the intimacy would remind Maddox of who he was. Maybe she could convince him to set her free. Or maybe he had a weapon she could get her hands on.}

_{Any of those scenarios were worth a shot.}

_{Maddox pressed a soft kiss on her shoulder. She shuddered, suddenly aware of her nipples hardening against the thin sheet.}

_{“I… I miss you too. But are you sure this is a good idea? The guards could come in and... What if they decide to rape me? I don’t think I could…” She choked back a sob that was only half acting.}

_{Maddox wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tight and pressing his mouth and nose to the top of her head. She felt him inhale against her scalp. “If anyone touches you, I’ll kill them.”}

_{Was that the truth, or just words meant to lure her into trusting him? If it wasn’t true, he was a damned good liar.}

_{Easing up on his death grip, his mouth brushed against hers, featherlight. He groaned quietly, as though even just kissing her was torture. Felicity let go of the sheet and it pooled around her hips. Maddox deepened the kiss, his tongue flicking across her lips. She parted them slightly, allowing him access and returning the kiss. Allowing it in order to survive. In order to continue her work in the rebellion and maybe free her friends from this awful place.}

_{His tongue slid into her mouth and she felt the contact like a jolt of electricity.}

_{Who was she kidding? This wasn’t about escape right now. It was about Maddox. She’d dreamed and fantasized about him so often after he’d disappeared on her. Sometimes it was innocent – hoping he was okay, missing their long discussions and his teasing. But other times they were lying in the grass and he was touching her, loving her. There was a reason she’d never been with any other man.}

_{And now here she was… kissing Maddox. Even with Dalton’s face, Maddox’s lips and body – his touch – all of it was familiar and right.  The palm of his hand caressed her hip, slid up to her waist then ribs. He cupped the underside of her breast and trailed the rough pad of his finger over her nipple. A moan escaped her but it was swallowed up by his mouth.}

_{He broke the kiss and she drew in a shaking breath.  He tangled a gentle hand in the back of her hair, tugging slightly to make her expose her neck. Teeth bit down on her earlobe and she squealed. How dare he remember what her body liked, and not remember her face? Men!}

_{A trail of kisses brought him to her breast. Unable to stop herself, she thrust it toward his mouth and he chuckled.}

_{He latched onto her nipple and sucked, shooting pleasure directly to her groin. Goose bumps rose on her flesh and she moaned, the sensation of his mouth on her and the gentle fingers tracing up her spine almost unbearable.}

_{“Mmmm… Dalton. That feels so good,” she rasped.}

_{He paused for a moment and his body stiffened, but then he continued as if she’d said nothing. So he didn’t like her yelling out another man’s name in bed? Maybe he’d wear his own face next time he came sniffing around.}

_{He nipped her gently, then paid the same attention to her other breast. Panting and squirming, the last of her misgivings melted away. Gently, he pressed her back on the bed. With maddening slowness he pulled the sheet downward, baring her to him completely.}

_{For a few moments he sat on the edge of the bed, his hot gaze taking her in and assessing her.}

_{Felicity sighed and rolled her eyes.}

_{“You’re always so impatient, sweet girl. Do you ever get to call the shots with me?” He grinned down at her. The expression was all Maddox, even if the face was Dalton. So damned cocky. Fuck, it was hot.}

_{The heat that had been building in her turned molten, putting her on edge. She worried at her lip. “No,” she replied in a tiny voice. “But you always give me what I need. I just have to be patient.” Parroting words he’d said long ago back at him felt strange. Familiarity flickered in his eyes
, then it was gone.}

_{“Yes
.” One corner of his mouth tipped upward. Then his hands were on her again – firm, demanding, as though he were sculpting her skin. “Why can’t I keep my hands off you?”}

_{She whimpered and pressed up against his hands as they slid along her. “Please, touch me.”}

_{“I
am
touching you.”}

_{“No, I
mean touch me the way I want.”}

_{He planted his big hands on either side of her head and leaned
down until his face was just inches from hers. “Use your words, girl. Tell me what you want.”}

_{“I’m tired of being patient. I’ve been waiting for you forever! Just fuck me – love me… please no more games.”}

_{“Is this what you want?” With hands of iron he gripped her thighs, spreading them. He kissed her mouth hard, almost painfully, and shoved a finger up inside her.}

_{She cried out, arching up underneath him. “No,” she begged. “Don’t tease. I need you.”}

_{Maddox stood, stripped off his shirt then tossed it aside. His expression was fierce, dangerous. He kept his pants on and lay between her legs. The hardness of his cock pressed against her heated flesh. She wrapped her arms around his neck and ground her hips against him.}

_{“Please? I need more.” If he didn’t hurry she was going to get off before he even unbuttoned his pants.}

_{Roughly, he flipped her face down, then yanked her hips upward. She yelped – she was still bruised and sore, but he ignored her. Or maybe he thought it was a sound of pleasure. He shoved against her a few times. Desperate for an orgasm, this time she screamed in frustration. One hand let go of her hip and, finally, she heard his zipper.}

_{Her breath hissed in and she braced for him to shove into her.}

_{Then both hands left her and she heard his zipper again. Unsupported, she flopped belly down onto the bed. She turned over to see what he was doing. He grabbed his shirt from the floor and put it back on. What the hell?}

_{“What did I do wrong?” she asked uncertainly. The need in her throbbed painfully. When she’d said she needed him, it wasn’t an act.}

_{His gaze slid away from hers for a moment, and he straightened. By the time he looked back at her, the desire in his eyes had been erased and a strange distance had taken its place.}

_{“You were right,” he said. “The guards could come back at any time. I’d better go.”}

_{Her mouth was still hanging open as the door clanged shut behind him.}

_{I’ve seen things,
Cee. Things I can’t unsee.}

_{Maddox to Felicity
in a letter, February 2004}
 

_{He smelled like sex and woman.
His
woman.}

_{Whatever she was – an enemy or a lost memory – she was his and he was done fighting it. Even if all he could do was admire her from a distance and fuck her looking like that prick, Dalton.}

_{Maddox walked the hallway to his father’s office like he had so many times before. But this time was different. This time he had questions. And it didn’t matter what suspicion it caused – he had to know.}

_{He burst into the office without knocking. His father was predictably sitting at his desk in front of his computer. A glimpse of surprise showed on his face before he wiped it away.}

_{“Maddox.” He leaned back in his chair. “Is there something wrong?”}

_{Yes. More than wrong. His whole life suddenly felt like a lie. And now he needed the truth.}

_{“Where did I get the scars?” he demanded.}

_{Saith’s eye twitched the tiniest bit. Maddox wouldn’t let his father
put him off anymore, but Saith wasn’t easily intimidated. He stared at Maddox for a moment, then exhaled a long breath.}

_{“This is because of that shifter bitch, isn’t it?”}

_{Anger rose up with the urge to pound Saith’s face in. He clenched his fists at his sides.}

_{“Listen, son.” He shifted in his seat. “Sometimes people…events…are put in our life to test us. Right now I think the gods are demanding to know where your allegiance lies. This…girl – this
shifter
– was sent to test your loyalty to your people. To me.” Moving forward, he caught Maddox’s gaze and held it. “Do you stand for what’s right – what’s true and good in the world? Or are you going to follow the desires of your flesh? Can you stand strong or will you crumble under man’s weakness?”}

_{Psychobabble
. It was pure fucking psychobabble. But was he ready to betray everything he knew for the word of a shifter? An enemy. A girl who probably wanted to escape more than anything – more than she wanted him. The thought stung. Was she using him? Maybe. But she’d been beaten, starved, locked up. It was to be expected.}

_{What he couldn’t wipe away, though, was the suspicion that his father was using
him
. Had he been spoon-fed this righteous bullshit so he would follow his father’s orders blindly? Why the fuck wasn’t he getting any answers? Nothing made sense. Parts of Felicity’s story felt right and familiar but then distant at the same time. But what he’d been told all his life wasn’t making sense either. He felt like he was stuck in some kind of mind fuck.}

_{His teeth snapped together in frustration. “You didn’t answer my question,” he gritted. “How did I get the scars?”}

_{“Birthmarks.”}

_{“Fuck birthmarks!” he pounded his fist into the desk.}

_{This time Saith didn’t flinch. “Son, this has to stop. You’re letting the enemy get to you. You’re letting her mess with your head. You’re the Inkman for chrissake. Since when do you pound on desks like a child having a tantrum?”}

_{A flicker of shame made him drop eye contact.}

_{“I taught you better than this.”}

_{The room went black. That ringing in his ears started again. A vision formed. The whip. Blood pooling on a concrete floor. A body arching and pulling on bindings, desperate to get free. Then he was
in
the body, staring at the ceiling. Waiting for death. Praying for it. Hope fell away and a deep despair trickled through him, taking over his soul. Sorrow turned to nothingness. Empty. A hollow shell. Something inside him died.}

_{When his eyes focused, he was back in his father’s office. That choking feeling of despair lodged in his throat. He stared through his father. It felt like an eternity before he could get his breath back.}

_{He looked down at his hands. They were shaking. A puddle of blood sat on the floor under his feet. He squinted. Or was that the carpet?}

_{“Maddox,” a voice echoed in the distance.}

_{The ringing died down but the room was still spinning. His heart pounded so loud he could barely hear over it.}