Deviant (11 page)

Gathering the bits of paper, I took them towards the bin. He had made sure to cut it up so there was no way I’d be able to put it back together and decipher the telephone number.

With a shake of my head, I put my foot on the pedal, placing the bits of paper into the bin and watching as they trickled from my hand. I shook my head, both in amusement and frustration. “Okay, I get it. Not only can I not come unless you tell me, I’m also not able to have any other men in my life.”

What was wrong with me? Having this stranger in my life was making me crazy. I was not only letting him rule me, I was now talking to myself? I needed to get a grip.

Taking my foot off the pedal, I walked back to my bedroom. “Well, if you think I’m going to let you do that to me again, you’ve got another thing coming.”

Chapter 18

Dean

The old law about “an eye for an eye” leaves everybody blind.

The time is always right to do the right thing.

Martin Luther King Jr.

With a hasty retreat, I was down the stairs and in the car, driving away. I needed the speed now. I needed to feel the roar of my V8 Dodge Challenger engine beneath me. I needed to let go and just drive. I had several other cars, but nothing beat the punch my Challenger gave me. She was sleek, fast, and purred like a fucking cat. I needed that after leaving Tyler the way I did. She unnerved me tonight. Again, her poison leaked into me and I couldn’t get her, or her fucking gorgeous mouth, out of my head. I was a master at control and I’d been that way my whole life. I called the shots, I made the demands. But tonight, just like last night, she made me fall apart beneath her. I wasn’t expecting her to take me like that. I wanted to give her the option to pull away and let me come all over her perky tits. I would have done that if she said. In fact, I was expecting it. I wanted to mark her as much as I could. In a perverted way, I wanted to see my seed spreading all over her. I wanted to watch her face as she saw me marking her—branding her as mine.

And she
was
mine. I made sure of that the minute I set foot in her apartment. I knew exactly where she kept all her business cards. I knew everything about Tyler. So when I marched over to her drawer by her telephone, I looked inside and there it was. It was the first thing I did before going to her tonight. I smiled a little, thinking she would probably have spotted it by now. No doubt she would come looking for me, but I would be long gone by then. She was naked so I highly doubted she would come chasing after me. That was another thing I had to my advantage. Every time I took Tyler, I would make sure she was always naked. I would be dressed to conceal my identity, but Tyler would always be bare. She would always be open and vulnerable. The thought of that made my dick twitch. Everything about her made my fucking dick twitch.

As I drove along the M5 motorway, I gripped the steering wheel, trying not to lose it. I was in control. I controlled her, not the other way around. I wasn’t going to let her play me like a sucker again.

As I turned off the junction to head home, I couldn’t help the small smile that crept on my face when I thought about going to her again. I was sure she would be resistant next time. She would be so mad that I just left her like that, and I knew I would have a fight on my hands upon my return.

But I had an ace up my sleeve. I always did when it came to Tyler. She would get used to me eventually and when that time came, I would strike.

Chapter 19

    Tyler

Buckinghamshire, 1995

Dean was in my room again, and we were playing Twos and Eights. He told me we had to play cards so that he would be distracted from what he really wanted to do with me. I was only ten and didn’t really know what he meant by that, but I was hoping what he really wanted to do was kiss me. When Dean wasn’t looking, I often sat there and just stared at his lips. I would lick my own, trying to imagine what his would feel like on mine. It was silly because I was so young. On the other hand, Dean was twelve so he was a little older and, quite possibly, more experienced than me by now. It made me mad to think of Dean kissing another girl, but if he had, he kept it quiet. I certainly didn’t hear about it from other girls, either. They all wanted him, though. I saw the way they looked at him and giggled. I hated the fact that they knew I was friends with him and used it to their advantage. They would be friendly with me and ask me questions about him. They were false. I hated false people. I wasn’t so naïve that I thought they would ever truly want to be my friend. Dean and Ian were my true friends.

“Aha!” Dean cried, making me jump. I had been staring at him a little too long—again. “Unless you have another two, Rosey, you have to pick up four cards.” He looked up, catching my stare, and smiled. I felt the familiar burn in my cheeks, so I looked down at my cards. Darn it, I didn’t have a two.

Reaching out, I grabbed four cards and placed them in my hands. I now had ten cards and Dean only had four. He was always better than me at this game, but that was probably because I spent too much time looking at him.

“I don’t want you to go,” he suddenly said. I looked up and saw how sad he looked. My stomach ached at the thought of not being near him for the next three weeks. We were all going to Tuscany again, but Dean had to stay here. My parents didn’t want Dean to come, no matter how much I begged.

“I don’t want to go, either,” I replied. I had always looked forward to our summer holiday in Tuscany, but not since I met Dean. Ian and I still went away together, as our parents got along so well, and although I still had a lovely time by the pool, I missed Dean terribly.

Placing his cards down, he reached up to place a strand of hair behind my ear. When I shivered, he smiled, and the butterflies ran through my stomach. “I’m going to miss you, Rosey,” he said, stroking a finger against my burning cheek.

Closing my eyes, there was only one thing I could say. “I’m going to miss you, too.”

*****

I didn’t sleep very well last night. Call it frustration at my lack of orgasm, call it anger that he never gave me one. All I knew was that he would come around again. I didn’t know when, but I’d be damned if I was going to let him take over like that again. He was not only a deviant. He was a sexual deviant. Sure, he gave me some amazing orgasms, but it was always at his command. I’d be damned if I was going to be suckered in like that again.

Getting myself ready, I headed into work. When I got back yesterday, I made sure everything was ready for print this morning. I was eager to see Jeremy’s letter in the paper, and I was also eager to see Jeremy. I had already made sure I had another pack of Twiglets, and the sequel to the book he was reading. I was really hoping I would be able to get leave by five today so I could go see him. I was never sure what each day would bring me, but I was going to try my best. It wasn’t because I felt sorry that he had hardly any visitors. It was because I genuinely enjoyed his company. Despite his obvious loneliness and his desire to keep everyone from getting too close to him, Jeremy was just an average teenager. He loved
Top Gear
and, judging from his David Tennant picture, he also loved
Doctor Who
. He liked going out to have fun, just like any other teenager, and he also loved girls. Judging by his reaction to me, he maybe even liked the occasional mature lady.

With a smile and a shake of my head, I was in the office by eight-thirty, a cup of coffee in tow. I looked across at Andrew Walker’s office and could see that he was in, too. He was rubbing his beard, a deep look of concentration on his face. He was obviously reading something. Maybe one of the editors gave him something to read before printing. Whatever he was doing, he looked busy and it made me think that I should be getting on with some work myself.

Sitting down at my desk, that’s exactly what I did. I was there about twenty minutes when my phone rang. I looked down to see who could be calling, and it was Andrew.

“Good morning, Mr. Walker,” I nervously said into the phone.

“Good morning, Tyler. May I see you in my office, please?”

I looked up to see him at his desk and, sure enough, he was looking right at me. “Sure. Right now?”

He chuckled a little. “Yes, please.” He hung up and that was my cue to get my arse into gear. I was a little nervous about what he wanted.

As quickly as possible, I got to his door and knocked. He looked up and smiled, gesturing for me to come in. I opened the door, closed it behind me, and timidly walked towards his desk.

“Take a seat, Tyler. Don’t worry. I’m not going to bite.”

I smiled and released a breath I hadn’t realised I was holding. I really didn’t get why I was so nervous around him. It was probably because he was my boss, and everyone was always nervous around their boss.

Taking a seat opposite him, I waited.

“I’ve been looking at your column this morning and, I must say, I’m impressed. Can you tell me whether you have had a lot of interest in this?”

I eagerly nodded. “Oh, yes. Definitely. I’m getting hoards of emails a day regarding this column. It’s amazing how many people are out there that secretly harbour feelings for people from afar. With technology these days, I think it makes it a lot harder to approach others face-to-face. We have become an age of computers and mobile phones, instead of friends and new faces.”

Andrew smiled at my comment and leaned back in his chair. “Quite,” he replied, threading his fingers together. “I’ve been thinking, Tyler. I know you’ve been wanting an actual column of your own for a while. I know you started this with the intent of getting people to reach out to one another, but what if this is something you could do full-time?”

I straightened my posture. “You mean my own permanent column?”

Andrew leaned forward, his hands still clasped together. “Yes. If it’s successful, why not? Let’s give it a month and if you’re still pulling in the messages and gaining the interest, we’ll make it a permanent feature in the newspaper. What do you think? It would mean you working twice as hard, but I’m sure with your dedication and tenacity you’ll be able to pull it off.”

I smiled so brightly that he couldn’t help one of his own. “That sounds perfect. I will endeavour to do my utmost to make this successful, Mr. Walker. I promise you that.”

Unclasping his hands, he placed them on the arms of his chair and pulled himself up a little. I knew this was him telling me the conversation was over. “I’m sure you will, Tyler. Just let me know if you have any problems.”

Getting up, I nodded my head. “Sure, sure. Of course.”

I was at the door and about to turn the handle when I heard his voice. “Tyler?”

I turned around. “Yes?”

He cleared his throat. “I’m intrigued by this Jeremy boy. He’s a young lad and people always love to hear stories about young love. Is there any chance we could do a feature on him? Maybe set up an interview? Try and get in touch with this Julie girl perhaps?”

I immediately felt myself tense. I knew Jeremy wanted to remain anonymous, and I wasn’t going to break my promise, no matter what it did to my career.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Walker. He wants to remain anonymous. He gave very little away in his email. The only hint was that his name was Jeremy, he’s fifteen, and he has a crush on a girl named Julie. I must admit, I did try emailing him back for more information, but he must have set up the email address purely to get the message out about how he felt. Unfortunately, mine bounced back as failed.”

I gripped the door handle as tightly as possible so that I had a grip on something. I didn’t want him to think I was lying. I was and I hated it. It was necessary in order to protect Jeremy, though. I certainly wasn’t going to betray his trust in me—at any cost.

Andrew sighed a little and sank back into his chair. “Very well. Hopefully, another story like that will come along and the boy, or girl, is a bit more forthcoming.”

I inwardly sighed in relief and smiled. “Let’s hope so. Thank you, Mr. Walker.”

He waved his hand. “Don’t mention it.”

With a turn of the handle, I was out the door in a flash and rushing back to my desk. I flopped down and buried my head in my hands to conceal my deep breath. I really didn’t like lying to my boss, but I had no other choice.

“Are you okay, Tyler?”

Looking up, I saw Louisa’s concerned face as she stared down at me. “I’m fine. I’ve just come out of Mr. Walker’s office.”

Louisa sat down at the edge of my desk and placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, mate. Was it really bad?”

I chuckled a little and shook my head. “No. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. He’s so impressed with the
From Afar
column, he’s letting me run it on a permanent basis. That’s assuming it does well, of course. He’s giving me a month to see how people react to it.”

Louisa took her hand away with a gasp. “Tyler, that’s fantastic! It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

Louisa frowned a little. “Then why did you look so stressed out when I saw you just now?”

I sighed, trying to think of an excuse. It looked as though my lying wasn’t over just yet. “I’m just worried about it failing, that’s all. It’s my first real column and, I must admit, it’s kind of freaking me out a little. What if I fail?”

Louisa looked down at me with her judgmental eyes. “Tyler, you worry too much. If you’re going to have this notion in your head that you’re going to fail, you probably will. Remember what I’ve always said?”

I nodded with a smile as we both said, “Positive mental attitude.” We giggled and I took her hand. “You’re right, of course. I’m just being silly. It will work because I’m going to make damn sure it does.”

Louisa gripped my hand tightly for a second before letting go. “Of course you will.” She looked towards her desk for a moment, then got up. “I better get back to work. I have an article about Judge Lyons to write and I know my chief wants it pronto.”

I nodded and watched Louisa stroll back to her desk. That was the other shocking piece of news that came up. A high-profile judge had been delving into the world of underage prostitution. Not only was it a shock to everyone, it also meant that every case he had ever tried in that area could be brought back for re-trial.

It made me think of my mum and dad for a moment. I had to wonder if this would affect them. Deciding to be a loyal daughter, I quickly fished out my mobile and gave my mother a call.

“Tyler, I must admit, I’m thrilled to hear from you, but a little disappointed it wasn’t sooner.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry, Mum. Things have been so hectic.”

I heard her sigh. “You know, I’ve always been proud of you, honey. However, I must admit that I think I would have sometimes preferred it if you had become a teacher like you always said you wanted if you couldn’t be a journalist. You know, your sister could get you into America with no problem at all. Maybe could be a kindergarten teacher there.”

I had to laugh. “Mum, you say you want to see me in one breath, then you’re trying to move me over four thousand miles away in the next.”

She giggled a little. “I know but, as unbelievable as it sounds, I get to see Emily more than I get to see you.”

I chuckled a little, remembering all the dreams I used to have when I was younger. I always wanted to be a journalist, but my second choice was a kindergarten teacher. As strange as it sounded, I loved kids. The thought of working with them always filled me with a sense of pride and achievement. I think it was the thought of watching them as they grew, seeing them learn new things. You could always see the most dramatic differences in their first years. It would have been a joy to teach them and watch them grow up.

I must admit, it was sometimes tempting to seek out the more tranquil side of life. Not that teaching small children was tranquil. It would just mean my life would be more ordered than it is now. I certainly had the qualifications to become a teacher. As well as my degree in English, I also held a degree in Education. I was always so enthusiastic when I was younger. I just thought if it turned out I hated journalism, I always had my other qualification to fall back on. It helped I had a sister who was married to an American. I had the choice to either be a teacher here or in the U.S. At least I had options.

“I’m sorry about that, Mum. I promise I will visit you as soon as I can.”

“Well, I hope you do. Your father misses you, too.” I heard her sigh again. “Listen, honey. I’m due in court in five minutes. I really need to go.”

Remembering that’s why I called, I sat up a little. “Okay, but that’s one reason I called. I take it you know about Judge Lyons?”