Deviant (23 page)

He looked down and nodded. “Yeah. His name was Stuart and he was the son of one of the foster parents I went to stay with. We were roughly around the same age so we became friends really quickly. I felt like I had finally found someone I could trust. The problem was that he was just using me to get away with murder with his parents. Whenever he did something wrong, he would blame me for it. I kept wondering why I would get accused of things I didn’t do. The third time, he stole money from his parents and told them he had caught me going into his mum’s purse. When his mum and dad told me Stuart had caught me, I finally realised what he had been doing. I was never his friend. I was just his scapegoat.”

I placed my hand on his. “I’m sorry to hear that, Jeremy. I hope whoever this Stuart is got his comeuppance in the end. He was never worthy of your friendship and I hope you realise that. I also hope you realise not everyone is a Stuart. I would never,
ever
intentionally hurt you or let you down. You have my word on that.”

Jeremy smiled and tugged on my hand. “You look tired. Why don’t you go home and get some sleep? We can both get some sleep and you can come visit in the morning. Unless, of course, you need to go to work.”

I shook my head. “No. I’ve been working from the hospital the last four days. Tomorrow’s Friday. I may as well have the week off.” I smiled brightly. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Although I was exhausted, the shock of the last four days was taking its toll. I didn’t want to leave him. Seeing Jeremy lying on the floor like that and feeling completely helpless had left me utterly shaken and bewildered.

He nodded. “Of course. It gives you an excuse to get me some Twiglets on the way in tomorrow.” Jeremy winked with an impish grin.

“Okay,” I answered, still a little unsure. “I still want to be called if anything happens. They told me what you did the morning of your birthday. I was touched.”

Jeremy gave me a shy smile. “Aww, shucks. I’m glad I could touch you.”

I gasped. “Jeremy, stop that right now.”

Jeremy laughed and I couldn’t help but laugh right along with him. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t help that. You’re so easy to wind up. Living with you is going to be fun.”

Looking at Jeremy, I saw a hint of happiness for the first time. He looked practically radiant with it. With that thought in mind, I was determined to make sure he fought this thing because now he had me to fight it with him.

Just as I got up, Rachael came over. “I see we’re a lot better now,” she playfully scolded.

I nodded. “Oh yeah. He is definitely on the mend.” With a roll of my eyes, I shook my head.

“She secretly loves it,” Jeremy whispered to Rachael.

I laughed and looked at Rachael. “I’m going to go now.” I made my voice sound a little hard as I stuck my tongue out at Jeremy. Both he and Rachael laughed as I grabbed my coat.

“If he needs me for anything, no matter what time it is, please call.” Rachael nodded and Jeremy rolled his eyes.

“I’m right here, you know. I can hear everything you say.”

I cringed. “I’m sorry. I just worry about you. I never want to see you like that again.”

He saw the tears in my eyes and his face softened. “I know. I don’t really want that to happen again, either.”

I sucked in a breath, trying to get my feelings in check. “Well, we’re all in agreement then.” I leaned over Jeremy’s bed and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. “Sleep well and I’ll see you tomorrow.” I turned and started to walk away.

“With the Twiglets!” he shouted.

With a wave, I laughed and walked out of the door. “With the Twiglets.”

Once I was outside, the cold night air hit me and I gritted my teeth. It was dark and freezing, and I just wanted to get to my car. For some reason, the last four days were catching up with me and I could feel the need to burst rising throughout me.

I got to my car and started her up. I put the heat on and grabbed the wheel with a deep breath. I didn’t want to lose it here. I couldn’t. I had to get home first. I had to lock myself away from prying eyes and just be alone in my bed. It was only nine at night, but I didn’t care. The first thing I would do when I got in was shower and get straight to bed.

And that’s exactly what I did.

Chapter 30

Dean

Revenge is barren in itself. It is the dreadful food it feeds on.

Its delight is murder, and its end is despair.

Friedrich Schiller

I was wound up tight, wondering where she had been the last four days. I even found myself outside her parents’ house, wondering if she had found out who I was and decided to flee to the safest place she could think of. However, a part of me didn’t think Tyler was the type of girl to run and hide. She would face me head-to-head. I knew that because that was the girl I fell in love with all those years ago. The girl I thought I would marry. The girl who turned me into the beast I am. What Tyler didn’t realise was I would have given her everything if she had asked. She would have never been lonely, never been scared, never would have wanted for anything. I had the means to give her everything beyond her wildest dreams. Even if she wanted a trip into space to see the stars up close, I would have gone to hell and back to get it for her. The only thing I would have asked for in return was her love, affection, and complete and utter loyalty. I didn’t think that was too much to ask. Now I was a man incapable of love. A demon who sought to hurt and destroy. A beast who sought revenge.

I was getting a little too antsy. I wanted to know where she was and who she was with. In the end, I found myself driving towards her apartment a little earlier than normal, just so I could make a decision on my next move if she wasn’t there. I took the Vanquish tonight, simply because I could do with a rest from the Dodge. I had driven up here too many times in that car. It was best to remain elusive in my actions. I didn’t want to become too predictable.

I parked in my normal spot and took the stairs. My heart was thumping again because I didn’t know what I would find. I didn’t want the disappointment of knowing there was an empty apartment that hadn’t been used in days.

With a careful turn of the key, I pulled up my hood and pushed the door open a little. Everything was dark so I assumed she wasn’t home again. But then I saw her bag, coat, and keys, and knew she must be here somewhere. I shut the door behind me and, as quietly as I could, I edged towards her bedroom. When I got to her door and pushed it open, what I saw floored me. Tyler was lying on the bed with a nightie on. She was curled up into a ball, holding onto some tissues. She had been crying. A part of me wanted to rush to her, scoop her into my arms, and tell her everything was going to be okay. Me, the one who wanted to harm her, suddenly had this urge to protect her from the horrible outside world? What was wrong with me? I needed to get a fucking grip. For a moment, I thought maybe I should leave. In fact, I turned to do just that when I heard her voice.

“Please hold me,” she whispered, a whimper in her voice. My whole body tensed, my teeth clenched, and my heart thumped at the thought that Tyler needed me. Of course she needed me. That was what I had planned all along. But why was she here after being away for days? Why had she been crying? Who the fuck did that to her?

Against my better judgement, I walked over to Tyler’s bed and lay beside her. She curled her back into the curve of my body, and I immediately caught that familiar whiff of her coconut lotion. I couldn’t help it. My dick reacted. It always did around her.

“Where have you been?” I asked a little sternly.

“I don’t want to talk about it. Please, can you just hold me?”

The burn in my stomach surfaced at the thought that someone had done this to her. “Did some fucker hurt you?” I asked without thinking. It sounded like I cared, and I’m not supposed to care. I’m not supposed to want to rip apart whoever dared to come within five feet of her. I shouldn’t give a shit but, for some reason, another ugly demon surfaced within me. I could feel the rage at the thought of another man touching her, another man daring to come near her, another man hurting her. If anyone needed to fulfil that desire, it was me. I shouldn’t want to protect her, I shouldn’t want to care for her, and I certainly shouldn’t want to fucking scoop her away and never let her go.

“No one hurt me,” she whispered again. The way she said it was like her heart was breaking. It was all too much to listen to. When I was about to ask her what happened, she turned to me. She tried, but failed to find my face. I could see her twinkly eyes trying to find me in the dark.

“Kiss me,” she breathed, a hint of want in her voice. “Please.”

I instantly stiffened. I
wanted
to kiss her, but I knew the minute I did, I would be lost. I knew what it was like to kiss her, and I vowed I wouldn’t put myself in that position again.

“Kiss me,” she pleaded again, gripping onto my sweatshirt. I knew there was something wrong with her. She was in pain and I’d be damned if it didn’t fucking kill me to see her like this.

Fuck, I needed to get a grip.

When I didn’t answer, she gripped me tighter. “No,” I finally managed to say. Immediately, she let go, and I didn’t know why I felt sudden disappointment clouding me.

“If you won’t let me kiss you, let me see something of you. Anything. Please.”

I was going to say no, but then I thought about it for a moment. Is she really going to figure out who I am just from seeing a part of me? I had said no before, but I couldn’t find it in my heart to deny her this.

Turning away from her, I lifted up my top to bare my back. For a moment, she didn’t move, but then I felt her get off the bed and open the curtain a little. With the moon shining on my back, she could finally see the faint outlines of my tattoos.

I felt the bed dip and Tyler scooting over to touch them. She surprised me by kissing each one and, fuck, did it make my dick stiff.

I felt her tracing the outline of my dragon tattoos. “Are they fighting?” she asked in a soft voice.

“Yes,” I answered, feeling her trail her fingers across each one.

“Why?”

I sighed, wondering whether to answer her. “Because they represent good versus evil.”

Feeling her fingers trail down my back, I almost shuddered. “Do they represent you?”

I tensed. I wasn’t even sure showing her the tattoos was a good idea, let alone telling her what they represented.

“Yes,” I finally answered.

“Do you think there is good and evil in you?”

“No. I don’t think there is any good in me at all. I think the dark dragon wins.”

“I can’t believe that,” she answered in a stern voice. “I don’t believe there could possibly be evil in you.”

I didn’t like where this was heading. I didn’t like that she was trying to reach into my soul and see the goodness in me. I hid it away for so long, it couldn’t possibly be there anymore.

“A dragon is capable of love, just as I am capable of loving a dragon,” she whispered softly.

Shit, she wasn’t hinting that she loved me, was she? Closing my eyes, I tried to gather momentum. “You could never love me, Tyler. I am a demon.”

“Can’t demons love, too?” she asked.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because a demon has no love to offer.”

I heard her sigh softly. “I don’t believe you,” she whispered again. “What does this represent?”

I felt her fingers at my lotus tattoo on my shoulder. “It’s a lotus flower.”

“Ah,” she said, with a hint of recognition. “Because you are Lotus. What does that represent?”

I kind of knew she would ask me, so I gave the honest answer. It certainly wasn’t what it represented, though. “A lotus flower blooms from muddy waters.”

I felt her finger stop trailing for a moment. “You’re a wealth of contradictions. First, you say you have no good in you, then you give me symbols of rising from muddy waters. Are you saying you’re in the muddy water? If you are, there must be good in you. One day, you will flower, Lotus. One day, you will rise from those murky waters.”

I suddenly got angry at her. “You don’t know anything about me, Tyler. I would suggest you stop trying to fucking psychoanalyse me. I’ve already told you I have no love to give. We fuck. That’s it between you and me.”

I felt her recoil and instantly regretted being harsh with her. I couldn’t let her unravel me. I couldn’t let her see the old me. I thought she was going to get angry and start sulking, so I was surprised when she kept going with her finger.

“What does this one represent?”

Her finger was at the crevice of my back. I knew she was outlining the Japanese calligraphy that ran all the way down the crevice. “It is kurobi, which is Japanese for ‘Black Belt’.”

She stopped her finger and I heard a small gasp. “You’re a black belt in karate?”

“Yes, in Tae Kwon Do.”

Soon, Tyler was tracing her finger all the way up the other shoulder. The one that was hidden from her view. I couldn’t possibly let her see that tattoo.

“Why can’t I see your other shoulder?”

I knew she would ask and I knew then that the tattoo admiration was over. Pulling the sweatshirt back over me, I sighed, “Close the curtain, Tyler.”

I knew I was cutting her off, but I didn’t care. She was getting too close for comfort now. The tattoo she was so desperate to see was the first one I got done just before my parents died. It was a set of angel wings with Tyler’s name in the middle. I got it done for her. I was going to show her as soon as I came back. I wanted her to see just how much she meant to me.

“Why won’t you open up to me?”

“Why won’t you tell me why you were crying when I came in?”

She stopped talking after that, just like I knew she would. Two could obviously play that game. She got up, closed the curtain, and came back to bed.

I was going to turn around to face her, then I felt her hands crawl underneath my shirt to caress my back. “Thank you for showing me your tattoos,” she breathed and I knew she was switching tactics. She wanted me now and, of course, I was going to give her what she wanted.

“You came inside me,” she stated, rubbing her hands up and down my back.

My lips curved into a smile. “I’m clean, so you don’t have to worry.”

“I know,” she answered. “I got tested.”

I wanted to ask how she could have done that so quickly, but her parents had just as many connections as I did

“Is that why you’ve been hiding away from me these last few days, because you were angry with me?”

She laughed a little and scratched my back. Fuck, this woman did things to me I wished she didn’t. “No. Where I’ve been has nothing to do with you.”

That answer both upset and angered me. I had let her slip and was damned if I would let it happen again. From now on, if
I
wasn’t watching her, I would make sure somebody else was.

Suddenly, Tyler got off the bed. She knelt in front of me, looking up towards my hoodie. With her right hand, she reached out to grab my zipper.

On instinct, my hand reacted, grabbing her wrist tightly. I could see the hurt and shock in her eyes, but she was daring to take control here. I couldn’t let that happen.

“Please,” she said, looking up at me. “I want to please you. I need this.”

I saw the pain in her eyes and, for some reason, I didn’t have the heart to tell her no. Instead, I released my grip, making her smile timidly towards me.

With a tug of my zipper, she freed me. The moment she did, I felt a huge relief. I had been wanting her touch for too long now. If I admitted it to myself, I needed this just as much as she did.

Darting out her tongue, Tyler gently licked the tip of my cock. I hissed a little, desperately wanting her to carry on. Stroking her hair, I gripped it tightly and heard a moan escape her lips. It had been so fucking long, I had forgotten that Tyler liked it a little rough.

Tyler sucked down the length of my shaft. I was impressed that she could take so much. That thought alone nearly had me coming in her mouth, and there was no way I was going to come in her mouth tonight.

Tyler carried on teasing me with that fucking delectable tongue of hers. She trailed it up and down my shaft before reaching the tip. With a flick of her tongue, she dived down onto my cock with relish. For a while, I relaxed and let her take centre stage. I fisted her hair and guided her down, needing to push as much of me in her as possible.

As the pleasure built, I grabbed her hair and pulled her off. “Stop,” I breathed heavily. “Get up,” I ordered. She did as she was told and I gazed upon her in her nightgown. Her breasts were beautifully pert, and her nipples were straining against the fabric. “What have I told you about wearing things in bed?” I asked. She was going to answer, but I didn’t give her a chance. Instead, I ripped the fabric from her body, watching as it fell to the floor. Tyler gazed at me with horrified lust in her eyes. She couldn’t believe I had done it, but she fucking loved that I did.

“See, this is what fucking happens when you wear something in bed. Now you know for next time.” I gazed upon her beautiful body. Tyler was never a skinny girl, but I loved that about her. She had curves in all the right places, and breasts that were the perfect size. Not too small, not too big.

“Turn around,” I ordered again. “Walk backwards towards me.” She did as instructed and I found myself stroking her backside. That was something else to admire of hers. Tyler’s ass was round and perfect. Everything about Tyler was perfect.