Deviation (Deviate Series) (13 page)

I didn’t get any sleep. My body was to
o wound up after that kiss and my mind was running a million miles a minute trying to dissect each emotion that was flying through me. I know he didn’t sleep much. I heard when he walked to his room because he paused at my door, sighed, and then continued on. He repeated this a few times, each time I hoped he would open the door, but he didn’t. Then again I didn’t open the door either, so we’re both chicken shits. Nice.

I get out of the bed
and make it, then walk to the closet to get dressed. I see the sundress again and decide what the hell. It is beautiful and it’s hot as hell outside. Instead of wearing the cowboy boots, I opt for some yellow flip flops. I brush my teeth, then my hair, and braid it to the side. I apply minimal makeup since we’re probably not doing anything but staying home. I don’t start back at work until next week. Poor Martha probably thinks I’m more trouble than it’s worth, but I’m grateful she lets me continue working there. I think it’s because I do the work of two and the customers love me. Looking myself over one last time, I make my way to the door. I’m about to open it when I hear talking.

I pause trying to listen. One voice is Angel’s but I can’t make out the
other but I can tell it’s a woman. It sounds like they are whispering but I can tell they’re in eyesight of the hallway so I can’t be sneaky and try to eavesdrop. So do I walk out or wait?

“Nevaeh, I know you’re awake just come out already
,” Angel yells down the hallway.

Well hell, so much for acting like I’m invisible.
So opening my door, I peak around the frame into the hallway to see an older, feminine form of Angel. Instead of walking out I close my door. I hear her laugh and hear Angel making his way down the hall. I’m starting to have a panic attack. My hand comes up over my heart as I start walking away from that door and in the direction of the bathroom. If I splash water on my face I’ll be fine. I’m just about to pass through the bathroom door when I lose my balance and fall to my knees.

“Nevaeh?” Angel’s behind me.

In short gasps I manage to say, “Go… away… Angel.”

His arms come around me
, resting across my stomach, his chin resting on my shoulder, “Just breathe, babe. Match your heart beat to mine. Feel my breath. In and out.”

I follow his words. Eyes closed
, I concentrate on the way he smells, the strength in his arms wrapped around me, and the firmness of his chest against my back.

“That’s it
, beautiful. Okay, I didn’t know she was going to show up here. I’m sorry for that. I know you hate meeting new people without knowing it first, but she’s here and she really wants to meet you,” he pleads with me.

“Okay
, even though I don’t know why she wants to meet me. Does she always meet your friends?” I ask.

I
feel his body stiffen at my choice of words and turn my head to look at him. “Nevaeh, we’re more than friends. I thought we established that already. I know I have a lot to make up for but we’re not just friends. We’ve never just been friends.”

I turn around in his hold, searching for something. Maybe a
tell that shows he’s lying, something, anything, but instead I find nothing. Nothing but the same look he had the first time he said he loved me.

“Angel, I’ll agree that we’re not just friends. We’ve never really been friends but I don’t know what we are. It was so easy to push me away and who’s to say you won’t do that again? That I won’t try to push you away? We’
re so completely screwed up, its crazy.”

“Love is crazy
,” he states.

“Love. Love is just a four letter word that gives people an excuse to act crazy. What is love
, Angel, because honestly I don’t even know?” I ask, looking away from him.

“This is love,” he pauses to kiss me, “it’s this undeniable attraction we have to each other. The way we get lost in each other’s eyes when they connect. The way our heartbeats
sync when we’re close to one another. The way our eyes can’t stay off one another but more than a few minutes, even when we try our hardest. It’s the need to be around each other, the drive that keeps us going.” He sounds so sure.

“But we didn’t
do all of that,” I say as a tear escapes.

“
Beautiful, stop fighting it. I know you love me as much as I love you. I feel it. I see it when you look at me. The only one who doesn’t see it is you.” He lets me go and walks towards the door, “You coming?”

I nod and follow him to the door. Please don’t let me make a fool of myself
, or him, in front of his mother. With my luck, however, it’s a sure bet that I’m going to do something stupid. I think it’s wired into my DNA to make massive mistakes. He opens the door, steps out, and when I hesitate in the doorway he grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together as he pulls me out into the hallway. I can feel his pulse and it’s a steady beat. I try to slow my erratic heart beat to match his by breathing in deeply and releasing it slowly. We make it to the kitchen to see the patio doors open and his mother outside sitting at the table on the deck.

We pause just before we hit the door, “Are you ready?”

He sounds more nervous than I feel, so I just nod, not trusting my voice. When we step out onto the deck the yard starts working its magic on me. Soothing my hyperaware nerves and allowing the sun to chase away the apprehension by replacing it with its warmth.

“Mom, this is Nevaeh. Nevaeh, this is my mom, Stacy.”
His eyes move back and forth between us.

I’m at a loss
as to what to do. Do I shake her hand, hug her, smile? Before I can decide, I’m being pulled into her arms. I stiffen slightly, but bring my arms around to hug her.

“Oh
, it’s so good to finally meet you, Nevaeh! My son hasn’t stopped talking about you for months now and he’s so private about everything in his life that I had to take matters into my own hands.” She smiles triumphantly, giving Angel a look. A look only a proud mother can give. A look that has me shying away and retreating into myself.

“I’m sorry
, that’s probably a little of my fault. Angel’s been amazing; I’m just a little slow on some things,” I say quietly, my voice still not back to normal.

“Oh, hush pretty girl,” she waves her hands in t
he air, “sit down so we can chat.”

We make our way over to the table, Angel goes inside to grab drinks, but brings me back a bowl of chocolate ice cream. I smile widely at him. He’s so considerate
and thoughtful. I seriously don’t know what I would do without him, I really don’t. For the next hour or so they talk while I get lost in my thoughts and the serene feeling that’s overcome me.

“Nevaeh?” Angel calls me.

“Hmm?” I reply looking over at him.

He’s smiling at me, “My mom wanted to know if we would like to come up to the ranch for a few days. She thinks getting out of the city will do us
both some good. “

“Oh
, of course! I would love that. I don’t start back at work until next week, so whenever you want to go.” I smile at her.

“Well
, y’all can come up in the morning and stay the rest of the week. This way you can explore the ranch, ride a horse, and go swimming in the lake.” She claps her hands in front of her.

“Oh
, we can’t impose on you like that, ma’am, but I would love to see the ranch at least for the day.” I look at Angel, hopeful.

“Call me
, Stacy, Nevaeh, none of that ma’am business.” She laughs, “I absolutely insist you come up for the remaining five days before you go back to work.”

“That settles that. We’ll come up in the morning
, mom, make sure you let everyone know,” Angel tells her with his eyebrows raised.

Tell everyone what?
I look at him with confusion written all over my face while he just smiles at me. I look towards his mom to see if she’ll give me what I’m missing and she too is just smiling at me. Odd and slightly unnerving. I let the suspicious thoughts fall away because I don’t want to think about it anymore. I’ve learned that my thoughts are my worst enemies and analyzing everything all the time isn’t any fun.

Stacy stays a little while longer but gets a phone call and she’s out the door quicker than I thought possible. She made us both promise to be up at the ranch by lunch and was gone the next minute. We had some sandwiches for lunch
with her, but my stomach started to growl, so Angel told me to go get some clothes ready while he ordered some take out. I have no idea what to pack. I settle on a few pairs of shorts, t-shirts, and some tanks. I also throw some jeans in just in case I do ride one of the horses. Lake…she said swimming in a lake. I shudder at the thought of the murky water but start looking through the drawers to find a bathing suit. I stumble upon a black bikini and a pink one. I put both of them on the bed along with the other clothes I chose. I go back to grab some black flip flops and the black boots.

I’m folding the clothes into piles when Angel walks in with a duffel bag. He comes over to the bed and starts putting the
clothes I’ve folded into outfits into the bag, but pauses on the bikinis. He looks up at me and smirks. Oh boy, I’m going to be in some serious trouble. I can already tell by that look on his face. I snatch them out of his hand and grab the panties and bras then shove them into the bag. All packed and ready to go, we place the bag by the front door for the morning.

Our food is delivered, he ordered Chinese and it smells so good that my stomach rumbles. Laughing, we sit down at the table
, and make our plates. He tries to copy me by eating with the chop sticks but fails miserably. More food ends up on him, around him, but never in him. He finally gives up and just starts stabbing everything like the stick is a spear.

After cleaning up his mess we decide to go to bed. We have to get up early to drive to
the ranch if we’re going to be there by lunch time. It’s a charged silence as we walk down the hall. Our arms casually brush each other and I feel my face flame, causing him to chuckle. I go to walk through my door when he blocks it with an arm. When I turnaround to see what he wants, I back up a little so my back is supported by the door frame. The smoldering look he’s giving me right now has me unsure that I can stay upright.

“Are
you done fighting us, again, Nevaeh? “ He asks with a husky voice.

“I don’t know
, Angel. Part of me says yes, the other says no, but if you don’t stop looking at me like that…” I trail off when his thumb traces my bottom lip.

“We’re going to happen
, beautiful, it’s just a matter of when.” He kisses the corner of my mouth and walks off towards his room.

I stand there staring at the door he closed without a backwards glance.  I walk into the room and shut my door, leaving my flip flops by the door and walk to the bed. I pull the blankets over me as I settle into the bed. My head touches the soft pillows one second and I’m out the next.

I feel a hand stroking my face and I smile. Dreams are amazing aren’t they? They have this almost realistic quality to them that
makes it hard to decipher if what’s happening is actually taking place. When the pillow my head rests on sinks inward with the added weight, my eyes open slowly to see a pair of gentle eyes looking down at me.

“Morning
, sleeping beauty.” He smiles at me.

What is it with him and
saying I’m beautiful all the time? Pulling the blanket down so I can stretch my arms out, I hear a sharp intake of breath. I open my eyes to see him raking his eyes down my chest. Shit. I forgot I went to sleep in nothing but my bra and panties. Pulling the sheet back up to cover me, his eyes meet mine.

“You’re killing me
, Nevaeh. You know that right?” He forces his voice out.

“You’ll
survive; after all you’re an angel.” I laugh as I wrap the blanket around me.

“You have ten minutes
,” he yells through the door.

“I’ll be ready in five
, just let me put some shorts and a top on,” I yell back.

I wash my face real quick, get dressed, and I’m bouncing right out the door
. I’m so excited to see Stacy’s Ranch that I can barely contain myself. Angel’s sitting at the bar in the kitchen drinking coffee. I grab a bottle of water and a glass of orange juice. He looks up from whatever he was looking at on his phone to raise his eyebrows at me. I shrug at him and grab an apple out of the fruit basket.

“Ready?” I ask, still bouncing in my spot.

“If you can stand still for more than a minute and drink that juice we can go.” He laughs at me.

“What? I’m really excited
…so sue me.” I already feel like I’m 5 years old, bouncing with excitement so I stick my tongue out at him.

“Be careful with that
, Nevaeh, you might start something you can’t finish.” He drops his eyes to my mouth.

I stop midair with the apple coming to my mouth and just stare at him. I take a bite of the apple, finish the juice, and ignore the tension that’s already starting to build between us. I’m rinsing out my glass when
he places his arms on either side of me.

“Angel, we need to go
,” my voice comes out a little louder than a whisper.

He turns me around to face him, “So let’s go.”

I know there’s another meaning to what he’s trying to convey and I try to ignore it, but he’s not having it. The fire is starting all over again, burning its way through my body and settling in my lower abdomen. I bite my lip out of nervousness and that’s all it takes for him to react. He lifts me up, placing me on the edge of the sink, as he stands between my legs. His lips skip touching mine but make it to my neck. I can’t help the moan that escapes, but it only fuels his desire. I push him back, hoping off the edge, and walk to the door. I’m going to spontaneously combust if I can’t control my hormones.

A few moments pass before he joins me. We don’t say anything but pick up our bag
s and make it to the car. The one thing I’m used to doing is the one thing I can’t bring myself to do with him. Not yet. My body is craving the release that I know he can bring me but I’m not used to having it tied into my emotions. Sex was always just a means to obtain a goal. I’m scared shitless to have sex with Angel because what goal will I be obtaining? I’m not sure I’ll be able to survive it.

It’s still dark outside and
a song comes on the radio that I’ve never heard but love immediately.

“Who sings this?” I ask, looking at him.

“’You are my Hope’ by Skillet.” He glances at me.

The lyrics remind me of him
and before I chicken out I say what’s on my mind. “This is our song, Angel. This is who you are to me in every sense of the words they sing.” I lean over and kiss his cheek.

“Don’t ever doubt that
, Angel. Ever, “I say as I turn up the music and stare out the window.

The rest of the drive is quiet. The sun is starting to rise
, painting the sky in beautiful pinks and oranges. God, I love Texas sunrises and sunsets. There is nothing more beautiful than being able to watch them.  The sunlight touches on a massive iron fence surrounding more land than I have ever seen. I look over at him to see a smile playing on his lips. No way can this be his house. We pull up to gates with Barajas etched into the iron.

“I guess you weren’t playing when you said your family is rich
,” I say under my breath.

“No, I wasn’t
,” he replies with an edge to his voice.

Once we park, we grab our bags, and make our way to the door. Just as Angel is about to knock
on the door, it’s swung open and Stacy is pulling me into a hug. Ready for it this time, I don’t stiffen but relax into it. The excitement on her face is contagious, and it carries away the weird mood from the car.

Angel definitely gets his taste from his mother because this house deserves to be on
the cover of Country Living. She puts me in the room with Angel, causing me to blush, and him to laugh. We head to her patio out back for breakfast. There is so much food, more than I can even dream of consuming, but it smells so good that I know I will definitely try.

Stacy excuses herself while we stay out there and look around the land. She has a barn off to the right, a riding pen to the left of that, and on the left side of the yard is a line of trees. I stand up and walk down the steps
, across the softest grass, and continue walking in the direction of the trees. As I get closer I can hear the sound of splashing water. I walk through the trees, climb over some trunks that have fallen, and try to be careful not to fall, or step on any of the creatures scurrying about. I break through the last bit of trees and can see the water in front of me. A few ducks are splashing around and frogs are jumping from the bank into the water. It’s not what I was expecting. The water isn’t clear like an ocean or pool, but it’s not murky like I expected it to be.

I spot a boulder close to the edge of the water. Making my way over to it, I remove my shoes and sit at the edge of the rock
, allowing my feet to dangle in the water. I lift my face up to the sky and watch the birds take flight. Then this beautiful blue bird catches my attention. It’s sitting on a tree branch to the right of me and it begins singing this beautiful melody. Wishing I was Snow White and could actually sing to the animals like she does, I take the chance and get up to walk over to it. Stepping into the water causes me too lose my footing and I begin to slip, falling toward the water when I’m caught.

Embarrassment takes over and a nervous giggle escapes my mouth. I look at Angel to see a vibrant smile on his face. It reaches his eyes causing them to sparkle with humor. I look back towards the bird and
it’s still sitting there watching us. I walk over to it and just when I’m about to touch it, it sings a little tune and then flies away. Pouting as I turn around, Angel laughs at me, and then he’s pulling me into his arms. I don’t think I’ve ever been hugged by him. Embraced, yes. Touched, yes. But hug, no. That’s a shame all on its own. I relax into him and breathe him in. As I turn my face into his neck, I place a soft kiss just below his ear causing him to shiver.

No matter how hard and how much I try to fight it,
it’s there. It’s a constant hum beneath my skin and everywhere he touches me I feel it. I can’t fight it anymore and finally realize I don’t want to fight it. Somewhere on the way here the decision was made within to just be happy. Angel makes me happy. I bring my hands to rest behind his neck, twine my fingers into his hair and bring my lips to his. His arms come around me, one resting at the nape of my neck, the other fanned out across the small of my back pulling me into him.

We stand there kissing, feeling, exploring each other’s mouth
s and bodies for as long as we can take it. He hooks his hands around my thighs bringing them up to wrap around him as he makes his way out of the water. He sits down with me in his lap facing him. Our breathing is the only thing I hear as my eyes search his. This is the moment where there’s no going back. I see the fight he’s battling in his eyes.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

I use my lips to answer his question, silencing anything else that might come out of his mouth. I rise up on my knees, straddling him as his hands remove my shirt. He feathers kisses down my neck, across my collar bone, and in the valley between my breasts. My breathing is becoming labored and my heart feels like it’s going to pop out of meat any moment. I pull his shirt over his head and allow my hands to explore his muscular back. He lowers one bra strap, then the other, and then it’s being unclasped.

I bite my lip a
s his tongue traces its way to one nipple. When he takes it into his mouth I don’t hold back the moan that escapes me. He repeats the torture with my other breast and his fingers twist and pull on the other, making sure nothing is being neglected. With my fingers entangled in his hair, I drag his face off of my body and crush my lips to his. This is the first time I’ve ever kissed someone in this situation and the zings that are flying through me make it that much more amazing. The nerves all over my body are overloaded, every piece of skin he touches is singing. It’s never been like this. I’ve always been detached, but god, if this doesn’t feel amazing and we haven’t even started doing anything yet.

Angel’s hands reach between us
, unbuttoning my shorts, reaching into them grabbing my ass. He lifts me up as my hands go to his shoulders to hold my balance. He’s kissing his way down my stomach, sliding my shorts off as he goes, and he reaches my panty line, skimming along the hem with his nose. Goose pimples rise all over my body in anticipation of what’s to come. He places a kiss over my panties causing my hips to jerk toward him. He lowers my body back down on top of his lap and I bring my hands to the top of his pants and unbutton them. I can feel the bulge begging to be set free. I move to kneel in between his legs, and he lifts his hips up allowing me to pull his pants and boxers down in one swift movement.

I’m awestruck. I’ve never ogled a guy’s body before, but Angel is one that needs to be worshiped. I swear he’s an actual angel, no way is it fair for someone to be as perfect inside and out like he is. Biting my lip, I run my hands up his legs, across his defined abs, down to the one thing that’s standing to attention. He lets out a moan as I wrap my hands around him and he grows harder. Stroking him a few minutes has him panting, then he’s lifting me, and tearing my panties off all in one movement. He aligns himself with my entrance and stares into my eyes as he slowly brings me down on him. I scream at the contact, causing him to pause, but when I shake my head, he continues and a few moans escapes us both. My knees are on the outside of his thighs as he takes my mouth for a sensual kiss. It’s slow, deliberate; he’s pouring all the love he has into it.

I’ve never felt
as full, as complete, as I do in this moment. I break off the kiss and stare into his eyes as I start rolling my hips. Swirling them as I rise up on my knees to lower myself slowly. I’m about to pick up the pace when he rises up on his knees, causing me to lay back on the grass. My legs automatically wrap around him, my heels pressing into his firm ass causing him to press into me harder.

The weight of him on top of me should
make me feel like I’m being crushed but it has the complete opposite effect. I want to feel all of him on me. I bring my hips up to match his thrusting and I can feel it, the tingling sensation all over my body and my muscles tightening around him. His pace is picking up speed and then there’s an explosion. My muscles clench him, keeping him inside me, taking everything he has. Warmth is spreading all over my body and I can’t catch my breath as wave after wave of pure, mind consuming pleasure takes over everything in me.

Somewhere in the back of my fuzzy mind I heard myself scream his name and him scream mine when we both were coming undone. This is how my first time should have been. A tear escapes out
of the corner of my eye and I hope he doesn’t see it.

“Nevaeh? I didn’t hurt you did I?” he goes to move off me.

I grab onto him, pulling him down onto me, feeling his weight crush me. “No, you didn’t hurt me,” I manage to get out.

“Then what’s wrong, why are you crying?” He asks looking into my watery eyes.

“I’m crying because I’m happy,” I laugh, “this is how it should’ve always been. Like this, with you. You’re it, Angel.”

The look that
appears on his face as he realizes what I just said is priceless. It’s like its Christmas and he just got the best gift in the world. I’ve never been looked at like he’s looking at me right now.

“I love you
, Nevaeh. I know it seems cliché to say that after we just had sex, but I do. I want you to know you’re it for me, too.” Then he kisses me and everything floats away.