Devil May Care: Boxed Set (35 page)

I winced at that, though I tried to hide it. The implication was clear: I hadn’t seen that Tom was abusive until way into the relationship, ergo, I was an idiot.

It didn’t exactly make me feel warm and fuzzy inside, though my cheeks did blaze with embarrassment and shame. I didn’t feel good about what had happened between me and Tom, but Rome didn’t have to throw that back in my face.

I was planning on keeping my mouth shut, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing that he’d gotten to me, but then I turned away from the window to look at him and was blathering before I could stop myself. “Oh, you’re really right, you know? I’m an
idiot
for not seeing that Tom was a dick. But you know, apparently, I haven’t learned from my mistakes, have I? After all,
you’re
here.”

That made him flinch and I took a little vindictive pride from that. How did
he
like it?

“I’m
nothing
like him,” Rome growled back angrily.

“No? Because it really sounds like you’ve done nothing but give me orders since this whole thing started! Which, I’d like to add, is all
your
fault in the first place.”

“I didn’t ask them to do that to you!”

“You didn’t have to! They knew to do it all on their lonesome!”

Our voices had grown in volume and become intense with angry heat. I felt a twinge of guilt for insinuating that Rome was responsible for the
attack
on me. In my heart, I knew it wasn’t really his fault, not in the way I was suggesting just then. Those men…they’d been there for the sake of violence. It wasn’t just a warning or a threat or meant to shake me up. Even thinking about their intentions made my stomach roil. I had to fight the urge to throw up.

Rome wasn’t the kind of guy to do that. Maybe he wasn’t, strictly speaking, a “nice guy,” but he wasn’t the kind of man who would just go after a woman like that. He wouldn’t attack me not in that sort of way. Not in
any
way, I hoped, but certainly not in the way of sexual violence.

But still. Just because he didn’t deliberately mean to try to rape me, didn’t mean he was a good or trustworthy guy. After all, he was part of some gang, obviously, and not only that, but he was on the wrong side of the tracks with them!

How did I let myself get dragged into this?
I wondered miserably.

“You
know
I would never—” Rome broke off, emotion choking his voice strangely.

For a second, I felt guilty all over again. I even opened my mouth to apologize, but then he kept talking and the moment passed.

“You’re a real piece of work, you know it?” he said to me, his words grating and his voice harsh. “I rush there to
save
you and you throw it back in my face? Like I fucking
asked
them to do it? Is that what returning a favor means to you?”

I gritted my teeth and searched my mind for the best barb to shut him down. It came too easily and maybe if we hadn’t been arguing and maybe if we weren’t running from people who were trying desperately to
kill
us, I wouldn’t have used it. But right in that moment, I wanted all the weapons at my disposal, because I was angry and more than that, terribly frightened.

“No. That’s what getting rid of the bad boys that I seem to attract means to me. I knew the moment I laid eyes on you—you remember? When I
walked away
—that you were trouble. The kind of trouble that I didn’t want.”

I saw his angry features falter slightly. He looked like he didn’t want me to continue along this thread of thought, but what could I do? He’d struck out at me and I was stressed. He needed to know that I couldn’t be pushed around, not like Tom had.

“In fact, I made a point that I didn’t want you on several occasions, but you wouldn’t leave me alone,” I spat with all the venom I could muster. Rome was silent, but silence wasn’t enough for me now. I was on a roll. “And then you deliberately inserted yourself into my life anyway, despite my wishes, not caring that you would bring trouble with you. And don’t tell me you didn’t know, because that’s bullshit! You knew you were in some kind of trouble even when you were trying to get into my pants, didn’t you?”

I tried not to remember that he
had
gotten into my pants. Twice. That it had been amazing sex, the kind of sex that I didn’t know I could have. That part of my body ached for more of it, even as the rest of me wanted to get as far away from him as possible. I didn’t know how it was possible to want so badly away from someone and want so badly to touch them at the same time, but that was what I was feeling.

At odds with myself.

Silence filled up the car and I thought maybe that was the end of our argument—it wasn’t.

“You didn’t seem to mind my
inserting
myself into you before,” he pointed out, making sure there was no question as to what he meant.

I could feel the blush rising along my cheeks and down my neck, probably down my chest, too, though I was glad that wasn’t visible at least. Whether my body wanted him or not and whether we had a good time or not, I didn’t want him to get the satisfaction of knowing that he affected me, damnit. I was my own person—I could stand without him without getting all jelly legs.

Forcing myself to laugh, like it was all a joke and there was nothing stirring inside me, flashing back to the way he slid inside of my hot, slick body, I gave him my best catty smile. “I never said I had a problem with the sex,” I told him, doing my best to feign nonchalance. I couldn’t say how well it worked, given that I was probably still flushed from head to toe. Thankfully, his eyes were on the road, so maybe he wouldn’t notice. “After all, even criminals have to be good at something, right?”

His muscles flexed at the word criminals, and I could tell he was gritting his teeth. I’d gotten to him and I celebrated the small victory. He deserved it.

“It figures,” he said after a long, drawn out moment where I once again hoped that perhaps I’d gotten the last laugh.

I left him the space to continue and elaborate on just what it was that figured, but when he didn’t, I sighed. He wanted me to ask. I was determined not to and folded my arms across my chest again, turning back to the window and the bleak scenery we continued zipping through. I never much cared for the desert, though I’d spent most of my life in Nevada. Maybe that was why I didn’t care for it. All the dirt and dust and sand, plants that were gnarled little shrubs, clinging to a desperate existence and choking out anything else if only to ensure that existence. Out here it seemed like everything wanted to kill you. The cacti had water, but they had spikes and needles to prevent you from getting to it. The sun gave you warmth, but it would dehydrate and kill you if you gave it half a chance. Even the smaller things—snakes, creepy crawlers, arachnids—all seemed to have it out for us poor, stupid humans. No, we simply were not meant to exist in a world like this.

And yet, we do. We insist on pushing ourselves into an ecosystem that we don’t belong to.
Reluctantly, I glanced back at Rome. He was still staring out the windshield, but I thought I saw a spark in his eye, telling me that he was waiting and knew that eventually I would cave to his desires.
Funny, seems like Rome is just like humans, forcing himself to live in a desert.

Of course, that analogy made me the desert, which meant I was basically a barren bitch, so I didn’t care all that much for the comparison. I shoved it aside and was still positive that I didn’t want to speak with him, but all of a sudden my mouth opened and words poured out of it.

“Fine, I’ll bite.
What
figures?”

I saw a smug smile tug at his lips and instantly I regretted my words. I wanted to swipe my hands across his face until I’d wiped that smile from it.

“It figures that you’d be interested in the kinky shit,” he said, his voice teasing, so low that it rumbled somewhere low in my stomach, making me ache.

Still, his words had me sputtering in annoyance and indignation. “In
what
? What do you mean kinky shit?” I demanded, sounding angry and offending. At least, I really hoped I did. I knew better than to sound sultry or intrigued. That would only give him ammunition, not to mention a reason to try to get into my panties again.

Would that really be so bad?
a small voice in the back of my head whispered to me. I had to forcibly shove it aside because I would
not
give in to some weird, whimsical desire to have him again.

This was all one big, huge mistake and we both knew it. This argument was enough to prove that, wasn’t it?

“Kink,” he said, repeating it like I was stupid and didn’t know what the word meant. “You know, sexual kink? Perversity? Liking something weird and taboo. Something that you’re not supposed to, like taking it up the ass or playing with yourself while someone—”

“I
know
what it means!” I interrupted hurriedly, mostly because his words were making me uncomfortable. Desirous. I hardly needed more of a reason to be attracted to him.

He grinned broadly. “Then you know that you’re a
dirty
girl for wanting it, don’t you?”

“I am
not
a dirty girl!” I huffed angrily. “You’re just a pervert! A pervert and a muscle head and…and trouble!”

He actually laughed at that and I could have punched him. I didn’t, mostly because he was driving, but also because I thought it would hurt my hand. Besides, I had the feeling that I wouldn’t do much damage to his face, but I might manage to break my hand. Maybe.

“A pervert?” he said, still laughing a little at me. “Well, if I’m a pervert, what are you? The girl who likes to get fucked by a pervert?”

I opened my mouth to respond, but snapped it closed abruptly. What could I say to that? I’d backed myself into a corner and now he was teasing me, making fun of me because of my own damn words. Well, then I just wouldn’t say anything else to him, I decided. I looked out the windshield and watched the faded, barely visible yellow stripes disappear beneath the hood of the car as we sped down the crumbling highway.

Damn poorly maintained roads.
I had thought California would have been in a little better shape, but at least it wasn’t as bad as going the other way. New Mexico had some of the worst roads I’d ever seen.

I was focusing on the roads, because I was trying to not focus on Rome, but it wasn’t working. Though I tried to resist the temptation, I couldn’t help but slide a glance over to Rome and saw that he was still grinning.

Damnit.

“I wish I’d never met you,” I muttered, still pissed and wishing to lash out at him. How had my life crumbled so quickly?

His smile faltered then and I felt a little surge of pride.
Ha
.

“I don’t even know why I went with you,” I continued now that he was no longer grinning at me like an asshole. “What made me think that this was the right thing to do? I should have just gone to the police.”

He snorted, amused. “The police? Since when have they done anyone any good?”

“That’s their job, remember? They’re supposed to help people out when they get in…in situations like these.”

“Like these? Really?” he asked, disbelief clearly etched into his words. “You think calling them would have helped you out?”

I nodded emphatically. “In fact, I think it would still help out. I should just go ahead and call them now, tell them what’s happening to me.”

Rome’s eyes flickered to me for just a moment, examining my face and my expression, maybe gauging just how serious I was being. After a moment, he spoke again. “And you think that’s the smart thing to do?”

I fidgeted against his gaze.
Did I really?
Probably, I admitted. The police would certainly have a better grasp on the situation than I would and it would be their job to protect me, right? They had witness protection and all that stuff, and at the very least they could put some guards outside my apartment to look out for me. That was all stuff the police did, right?