Authors: Suzannah Daniels
I
looked toward the doors that led to the patio. A tingle etched its way down my
spine as I thought about the short distance that separated me from Stone. I
didn’t realize that I had decided to find him until I heard my heels clicking
against the marble floor.
When
I reached the set of French doors, I paused, peering out the glass panes.
Moonlight showered over several couples, casting a glow around them as if they
had been sprinkled with pixie dust. My eyes skimmed over the large patio until
they found him, his tall frame making him easy to recognize. As I watched, he
stared into the night, his arms propped on the stone wall in front of him.
Gently,
I turned the knob and stepped into the darkness, the rhythm of the music
growing muffled when the door closed behind me.
I
knew he could hear my footsteps as I approached him, but he made no effort to
move.
“It’s
a magnificent night,” I said softly, admiring the radiance of the full moon as
it hovered in the sky like a beacon of beauty.
He
didn’t respond.
My
heart twisted at his silence, afraid that he was hurt and hoping that he was
all at once.
“Dara,
I can’t do this.” He didn’t turn around, but his words were as crisp and clear
as a thin layer of ice.
“You
can’t do what?” Anger clawed its way to the surface.
He
turned around then and leaned against the wall, his face shadowed from view.
“I can’t watch you with him.”
“And
I’m supposed to watch you with Tiffany?”
He
moved toward me, his palms cupping my shoulders. “I told you that wasn’t
supposed to happen.”
Releasing
me, he raked his fingers through his hair. “When I see you with him, it makes
me freakin’ crazy.”
“It
hurts, doesn’t it?”
“Like
hell.”
“That’s
the way I felt when I walked out of that building and saw you with Tiffany.
And well, you know what they say about karma.”
His
voice grew softer. “I wish I could undo it.”
“Actions
are like reading a book. Once you’ve read the words, you can’t unread them.”
He
sighed heavily. “If you were using Chance to teach me a lesson….”
“I
don’t use people.”
“You
know what I mean,” he muttered.
He
shifted his weight, and I could sense his discomfort. But I had been hurt so
many times myself, I didn’t have it in me to ease his burden, maybe because I
was being suffocated by my own. When I thought of all the times that my mother
and father had let me down, it crushed my chest like a vice trying to squeeze
the very life from me. I had needed Stone. I had needed to be as important to
him as he was to me. I had needed to know that he loved me.
Maybe
I had set my expectations too high. Maybe everything that was happening to me
now was due to my own lack of judgment. I went into the relationship with my
eyes wide open, knowing about his reputation, knowing that I was one of the
many girls he had kissed. And yet, like a leaf caught in a tornado, I let
myself twirl incessantly in his presence, unable to yank free of his grasp.
Maybe
it was better that things worked out this way. Maybe years from now, I would
look back at this moment and know what a valuable lesson I’d learned.
Maybe
I needed to concentrate on making decisions with my head and not my heart.
“Dara,
please say something.”
My
arms crossed over my chest, and I wrapped my palms around my upper arms in a
vain attempt to chase away the chill that overcame me. “I’m ready to go home.”
“Let
me get my jacket,” he said, as he pushed away from the wall and walked past me.
I
followed him into the main room and waited by the exit while he retrieved his
jacket. When the valet pulled up to the front of the country club with his
father’s sports car, he drove me home.
He
pulled into the driveway and turned off the ignition. Out of habit, I waited
while he walked to the passenger side and opened the door for me.
I
took his outstretched hand and allowed him to walk me to the front door. My
body responded to everything about him, the heat that seeped into my skin from
his touch, his self-assured nature, his physical beauty, the faint scent of his
cologne, the way he made me feel deliciously female.
He
was dangerous.
And
I’d known it from the start.
We
came to a stop on the front porch, and he towered over me, his masculinity
enveloping me like a hazy seduction, fogging my brain. It made what I was
about to do much more difficult.
“I’m
going to kiss you,” he whispered, leaning down, his lips hovering just above
mine.
A
lone thought of stopping him surfaced, but it was quickly squelched by my
body’s response to him.
His
lips were warm as they claimed mine. One hand pressed against the small of my
back, crushing our bodies together, while the other hand cupped my cheek, his
thumb rubbing rhythmically across my cheek bone. He deepened the kiss and
swallowed the tiny gasp that escaped my lungs. His other hand rose to my face,
his thumbs resting on my cheeks, his fingers splaying around the back of my
neck. He devoured me, and when we were both breathless, he pulled away from my
lips and planted tiny kisses along my jawline.
“You
look so beautiful tonight,” he whispered in my ear.
My
insides quaked, and I realized if I didn’t do it now, I’d lose my nerve.
“Stone.”
I pulled away from his grasp, putting distance between us, so that I could
think clearly.
“What’s
wrong?” He shifted restlessly.
“I
think it’s better if we don’t see each other.”
“Dara,
you don’t mean that. You know I love you.” He reached for me, but I took a
step back, the threat of tears burning my eyes.
“I
need to focus on graduation and college.”
He
reached for me again, only this time his palms caught my shoulders. “Tell me
what I can do.”
“I
wish there was something I could say, but there’s not. I needed you, Stone,
and you let me down.” Just like my mother. Just like my father.
I
thought of all the times when I was a tiny girl in pigtails that I watched out
the window, waiting for my mother to pick me up, but she never did. I thought
of all the times that I had written my father, and yet he had never answered my
letters.
It
was time for me to protect my heart because I had learned long ago that I was
the only one who could. And it hurt. I loved him. I loved him more than I’d
ever loved anyone, except for Granny. In less than a month, I would graduate
from high school. I thought Stone would be the one person who would transition
into a whole new phase of life with me, but after seeing him with Tiffany, I
thought perhaps that he wasn’t ready for such a serious relationship. Maybe he
wasn’t even capable. Either way, I had to protect myself.
“Dara,
don’t do this. I love you. You know I do.”
“I
thought you did, but now I’m not sure.”
“Damn
it, you know I do.” He shook my shoulders for emphasis.
“I’m
sorry, Stone. I hope you find whatever it is that makes you happy.”
“
You
make me happy, Dara.” His blue eyes ignited as they fixated on me, as if his
penetrating stare could tattoo the meaning of his words in my brain.
“I
wish I could believe that.” I wanted to, but I had wanted so many things in my
life that never came to fruition. I kissed him on the cheek. “Bye, Stone.”
Reluctantly,
he released me, and I walked into the house, never looking back. I couldn’t.
I was afraid that if I did, I’d turn around and take it all back. And right
now, more than anything else, I needed to protect myself from the horrible pain
that came when those that I loved let me down.
After
I closed and locked the front door, I collapsed against it, my forehead pressed
against the cool metal as hot tears streamed down my face, and I whispered, “I
love you, Stone.”
Stone
Dara
refused to answer my texts, and I cursed under my breath as I rolled out of bed
and tossed the phone on my pillow. Walking to the window, I stared out of it,
paying no heed to the view, and massaged the back of my neck. Dara was driving
me insane. I rubbed my palm across my bare chest, knowing that I needed a plan
to get her to talk to me. She may think it was better that we didn’t see each
other, but I sure as hell didn’t.
Maybe
she just needed some time. I knew it had been a shock for her to see me with
Tiffany, but it had been a shock for me, too. I hadn’t expected that to
happen, and I had no time to plan accordingly. Before Dara, I would’ve jumped
at the chance to make out with a honey like Tiffany. But Dara had ruined me.
Something about her had taken hold deep inside of me, and now she was the only
girl who mattered. Too bad my overactive hormones and my lack of brain
activity had screwed everything up.
“Dammit!”
Even though I felt like ramming my fist through the pane of glass until it was
nothing more than tiny shards, I opted to smack the window frame with the heel
of my palm.
A
dull ache penetrated my skull, and I pinched the bridge of my nose in an effort
to make the pain subside. I exhaled loudly as despair shadowed the recesses of
my mind. Was I destined to be a total freaking screw-up my entire life?
My phone rang, and I turned and stared as the screen lit up. Was she calling
me back? I practically leapt to the bed in one, long stride and snatched the
phone up to see who was calling. Irritation reared its ugly head when I
realized it was Mike.
“What?”
I grumbled, the mattress dipping with my weight as I sank down on the edge of
the bed.
“Well,
it’s pretty obvious you didn’t get any last night,” Mike said, sarcasm dripping
from his voice.
“That’s
quite an observation from the guy who breaks out in a rash every time a girl
invades his personal space.” I paused, agitated. “Did you want something?
Other than to annoy me?”
“I
just thought I’d check to see how your night went, but I think I already know.”
I
closed my eyes and tilted my head back, stretching my neck. “Then you’re good
now? Because if you’re looking for a recap of prom night, you’ve called the
wrong person.”
“You
want me to talk to Crimson? Maybe she’ll have some insight on what’s going on
in Dara’s head…like why she broke up with you.”
“I
know why she broke up with me. Do you really think I need girl help from you?”
I growled, my irritation rising with every reminder that I’d been a jackass.
“I
guess not. I was just so shocked that she didn’t want to be with you anymore.
You know…with your charming personality and all.”
I
clamped my mouth shut and imagined riding my dirt bike, racing through the
woods. Luke had taught me to do that, and it usually did help, although he was
no longer here to point out to me the times that I needed to relax. Then I
pictured my favorite mud hole, the one that Luke and I loved to race through,
the one that I had taken Dara to, and just like that, she was on my mind
again. I realized then that there was no escaping her. She had touched every
part of my life. She was everywhere I looked. Over the last few months, our
lives had been so integrated that it seemed impossible to separate them. It
was no longer Stone, no longer Dara. It was Stone and Dara. And in one
moment, I had allowed it all to slip away.
“Look,
man, I’m sorry if I’m a little short today. I’ve got a lot to do, so I’ll see
you at school tomorrow.”
“Yeah,
see ya then.”
I
showered and dressed, and then went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My
parents were sitting at the kitchen table, their hands wrapped around their
steaming lattes.
“What’re
your plans for today?” my father asked, his voice serious, as usual.
“I’m
going to work at the bookstore.”
“Aren’t
your final exams next week?”
“Yeah.”
His
brow furrowed as he shifted in his seat to get a better look at me. “Shouldn’t
you be studying then?”
I
exhaled loudly. “I’m going to graduate, Dad.”
“And
studying for your finals will make sure that you do.” His stern expression warned
me that he would brook no argument.
I
thought of Luke and decided I’d try to refrain from saying the things that were
wavering on the tip of my tongue.
“I’ll
study tonight,” I promised.
“See
that you do.”
My
mom changed the subject. “Dylan will be home for the summer in less than two
weeks.”
“Great,”
I grumbled. “That’s all I need.” My older brother, Dylan, had been away at
college for most of the last two years. He hated me and with good reason, but
I had no desire to listen to his bickering all summer long.
“Stone,”
she said softly. “He’s your only brother.”
“Luke’s
my brother,” I said forcefully.
“Luke’s
gone,” she said in little more than a quivering whisper, her eyes filled with
sadness. “Dylan’s still here. Whatever’s going on between the two of you
needs to be resolved.”
“Why
don’t you tell him that?”
I
decided to skip the water and grabbed my keys and my helmet, instead. I was
suffocating, and I had the urge to be outdoors.
With
every twist of the throttle, I felt my tension dissipate. When I pulled the
bike up into a wheelie and sped down our long driveway, the wind carried my
troubles away. I knew it was only a temporary fix, but I welcomed the
reprieve.
As
I shot onto the highway, the hum of the engine soothed me. I would deal with
everything else later. Right now, it was just me and my bike.
***
Two
hours later, I pulled under the carport at the back of the bookstore. A sore
butt was a small price to pay for my improved mood. I swung my leg over the
glossy, black crotch rocket and stretched as I removed my helmet. I couldn’t
stop the small smile that broke across my face as I remembered the time during
last summer that I had caught Dara sitting on my bike. I missed having her at
the bookstore.
I
entered the back door and found Tom sitting at the small kitchen table in the
break room.
“Hey,
Stone,” he said, looking up from his sandwich as I entered the room.
“Tom,”
I greeted, offering him a fist bump. “So how’re sales?”
He
nodded his head as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. “They’re still up.”
“That’s
good news. Dad’ll be glad to hear that.” Even though my overbearing father
allowed me to run the bookstore, he still kept close tabs on it, always eager
to teach me some kind of lesson in business. I guess I couldn’t blame him. It
was his money, after all. As much as I hated to admit it, I had learned a lot from
my old man. The older I got, the more I could see what he was trying to
accomplish, although I had no plans at the moment to let him know that.
“Dara
called,” Tom said.
“Today?”
“Yes.”
“What’d
she say?” I asked, unable to keep from wondering if she was looking for me.
“She
just wanted to remind us that the newsletter was due to go out in a few days.
She said she was busy, and she didn’t think she’d be able to get to it. She
emailed the newsletter to both of us, but she said it still needs a little
tweaking before we send it out.”
I
hadn’t forgotten. It was the first review that we were doing for Luke’s Book
Club, hoping to entice readers to read
Frankenstein
. “Yeah, I’ve got it
covered. Did we get the extra copies of
Frankenstein
in?”
“Yep,”
Tom answered. “Brandy’s already shelved them.”
I
nodded my head. “Good.”
I
continued walking through the door that led to the front of the bookstore.
Brandy stood behind the cash register, checking out a customer while a few
other customers browsed the shelves.
I
saw the endcap that was laden with copies of
Frankenstein
, and I
approached it, picking up a copy and flipping through the pages. Luke’s copy
was still in my room, and I decided that as much as I wasn’t a reader, I would
pick his book up tonight and begin reading where Dara had left off. I needed
to pick up the slack and deliver. For Luke. And for Dara. And maybe even a
little bit for myself.
Once
I had made that decision, oddly enough, I felt better. I meandered through the
bookstore, helping customers. Then, I began shelving inventory, new releases
and old favorites in movies, games, CDs, and books. If Luke were alive, he’d
love this place.
And
for that reason, I’d see to it that this store was a success, even if it meant
I actually had to sit still long enough to read a book.
I
grabbed a handful of CDs out of the box and placed them on the endcap. Brandy
approached me from behind.
“Hey,
Stone,” she said in her high-pitched voice, one that seemed so unnatural you’d
think she was speaking that way intentionally.
“Hi,
Brandy.”
“Did
you have fun at the prom last night?”
Fun?
I almost laughed out loud at the absurdity of it.
She
continued, not waiting for me to answer. “I know that you and Dara aren’t
together, but she must still love you.”
“Why
do you say that?”
“Well,
because why else would she tell Chance not to kiss her?”
My
eyes shot to her face. Was he trying to move in on her already? “What’re you
talking about?”
“At
the prom. When they were crowned Prom King and Queen, she told him not to kiss
her, so he kissed her hand. I thought you were there?”
“He
didn’t kiss her last night?” I asked, confused by her story.
“No.
Well, not on the lips, anyway. He bent over her hand and kissed the back of
it. Kinda like a gallant gentleman, you know?”
My
jaw clenched. She’d let me think that he had. I relaxed my jaw, amused.
She’d given me just what I deserved.
“Are
you sure?” I asked. “That he didn’t kiss her on the lips?”
“Of
course I’m sure,” Brandy said, enunciating every word. “I was there. Chloe
told me this morning that Dara told her that she’d asked Chance not to kiss her.
And the only reason I can figure out why Dara wouldn’t want Chance to kiss her
is if she’s still in love with you. I mean Chance is definitely hot.”
I
didn’t usually pay much attention to girls’ gossip, but strangely enough,
Brandy’s random bit of information did actually improve my mood.
I
finished shelving the CDs and stood with the empty cardboard box in my hands.
“Don’t ever use the words
Chance
and
hot
in the same sentence
when you’re talking to me.”
Brandy
giggled. “Jelly?”
I
scoffed. “I have no reason to be jealous. Dara loves
me
, remember?”
“Well,
as much as I’d love to chitchat about Chance a little more, I’ve got a
customer.” She hurried toward the cash register.
I
pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked my messages. Nothing from Dara.
I had the urge to call her again, but I refused to blow her phone up. She knew
I was trying to contact her. Maybe giving her some space was the best thing I
could do for now. And so help me if Chance Murray tried to move in on her in
the meantime, he’d regret the day he met me.
***
Dara
“What’s
wrong, honey?” Granny asked as she set a plate down in front of me on the
kitchen table. I usually loved Granny’s gooey, grilled cheese sandwiches, but
my appetite was lacking.
“Nothing.”
“Dara
Golding, don’t think I’m so old that I can’t tell that something’s wrong
between you and Stone. I’ve had my share of man troubles during my life.” She
reached across the table and set a glass of sweet tea within my reach, and then
she pulled a chair out and sat down, waiting for me to spill my guts.
“Have
you ever had a boyfriend who kissed another girl when he was supposed to be with
you?” I asked, expecting her to gasp in shock.
“Well,
I did have one who made out with my best friend. His name was Willie Mason. Of
course, they were both drunker than Cooter Brown.”
I
lifted my eyes to her face, and she chuckled softly.
“What
did you do?” I asked.
“I
snuck up behind them, dumped a whole pitcher of ice water on their heads, and
never talked to either one of them again. Of course, I already knew he was no
good.”