Devious Little Lies (8 page)

Chapter Twelve

He was staring at her like she’d lost her mind. His brows were drawn together, a muscle moving in his jaw as he folded his arms. Perhaps she’d struck a nerve, but she could give less than a damn. No one was going to play games with her daughter.

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean,” he finally said.

“Then let me spell it out for you. Are you really interested in Tricia or are you just playing games?”

He flinched as if she’d struck him. “How dare you ask me something like that?”

Her eyes narrowed. “How dare I?” She tried her best to keep her voice from rising.

“You heard me right the first time.”

She was battling with slapping the holy hell out of him and kicking his ass straight out the front door, but she needed answers before she did that.

“You come to my home as Tricia’s boyfriend, but the entire time you’ve been here you’ve done nothing but eye-fuck me. Combine that with the little kissing stunt you pulled at the door and I have every reason to wonder just exactly what your motives are. I will not tolerate anyone hurting my child, even you.”

He ran a hand through his short brown hair and blew a breath. His hazel gaze appeared momentarily unfocused before he appeared to pull himself together. Before she could react, Shane moved to sit beside her. She swallowed as she breathed in the scent of his cologne. Suddenly she was having a hard time keeping focused.

“Things are complicated,” he said slowly.

“No they aren’t. You either want Tricia or you don’t.”

“Rena, it’s not that simple. Please, let me explain.”

Crossing her arms, she glared at him for a moment before finally nodding.

“When you and I met in the airport there was chemistry between us. I felt it and I know you did too, whether you want to admit it or not. I’ve never felt anything like that for anyone.”

Rena swallowed, growing more nervous at what he was telling her. “Even Tricia?”

His mouth twisted into a grimace and his shoulders tensed. “Even her.”

Her heart felt as if it had just been stabbed with a red, hot poker. “Then why are you with her?”

He rubbed his neck and a pensive expression crossed his face. “Tricia is one of the best people I’ve ever met. She’s warm, caring, funny, beautiful, and selfless. She has all the qualities to make not only an excellent nurse, but a wife as well. She’s the girl next door and your best friend all rolled into one. There’s no pretense with her, no hidden agenda. What guy wouldn’t want to be with her?”

Shane had just described her daughter the way she’d always thought of her. Tricia was the woman Rena might have been if her life had been different.
Stop lying to yourself.
Rena was a different breed of woman and there was no excuse that could justify the decisions she’d made. And right now she had another hard decision to make. Should she accept what he’d just told her or should she press for more. He was still avoiding a very important thing.

“You’re absolutely right about Tricia. I couldn’t agree with you more. But that still doesn’t explain your behavior towards me. Are you still attracted to me, Shane?”

His eyes meet hers firmly and there was no denying what she saw. Rena shook her head silently begging him not to say what she thought he was about to.

“Very much so.”

The huskiness in his voice forced her to close her eyes. When she opened them he was staring at her expectantly.

“That’s unacceptable.”

He shrugged. “It’s how things are.”

“I’m not some desperate MILF looking for a good time. I love my daughter. I love my husband and I would never do anything to jeopardize either of those relationships. You’re going to have to forget about this crush you have and move on, either fully committed to Tricia or on your own.”

“Denial never looked so good.” His lips quirked at the corners as if enjoying some private joke.

“I’m not in denial about anything, including my marriage or my relationship with Tricia.”

“Then why didn’t you tell her we already know each other?”

Her mouth opened then closed. She wanted to respond, but she didn’t know what to say or how to explain.

“Because…because…” she stammered.

“Because she’d see how comfortable we are with each other, how well we get along, and she might start to notice certain things.”

She hated to admit it, but he was right.

Absolutely right.

The last thing she wanted was for her daughter to have feelings of inadequacy because of a man’s attraction to her. They’d already gone through that phase and she had no desire to repeat it with Shane or anyone else.

“Yes.”

One word. For now that’s all she could say and that was enough.

“Like the attraction between us?” he pressed.

Though it pained her, lying would do no good.

“Yes,” she said again.

He regarded her with a small smile as if he had won some battle and for a moment she hated him for walking into her life and making things so complicated.

“There’s nothing for you to worry about, Rena. Regardless of my attraction to you, I recognize it for what it is. You can’t build a relationship or a future on attraction alone. You need friendship and the comfort of enjoying life’s small moments. I’m building that and so much more with Tricia. Nothing is worth throwing that away, especially over a woman who’s not ready to admit her husband doesn’t deserve her.”

Before she could say anything, Tricia appeared.

“Don’t you two look chummy.”

Rena’s eyes flew to her daughter’s in a panic, heart racing. She was sure Tricia had witnessed something between her and Shane.

“Your mom and I were just talking. Getting to know each other a little better,” Shane said smoothly.

“And?” Tricia pressed.

“I think there might be more to your suitor than meets the eye.”

“That is high praise indeed coming from you, Mom. I’d better mark this on my calendar as a day to remember.”

Shane laughed at Tricia’s joke and as Rena glanced at him, she couldn’t help but wonder if giving her approval for their relationship would come back to haunt her later. But for now she didn’t want to do anything to take away the starry look of happiness in her daughter’s eyes. That didn’t mean she wasn’t going to be watching Shane Van Adams like a hawk because she was. The first time he stepped out of line, she would bury him. But as he smiled at her again, Rena didn’t know if that was one promise she would be able to keep.

Chapter Thirteen

In honor of her daughter’s visit, Rena treated Tricia and Shane to dinner at
Ciao Bella’s
, one of the best Italian restaurants in town. After having their fill of fried calamari, fresh tomato
caprese
, and lemon and herb pepper chicken they’d returned home. While Shane and Tricia were lounging by the pool, Rena tried to get a little work done for Distinction but concentrating was difficult and she eventually gave up. It was hard to think with a mind torn between hurt and anger at an absentee husband and the strangeness of being attracted to her daughter’s boyfriend.
I’m fucked up in so many ways and not good ones.

“Mom, what are you doing in here?”

Rena glanced up to see Tricia in front of her with hands on her hips. The blue and white bikini she wore showed off her athletic and toned physique.

“I was just trying to get a little work done for the boutique.”

“Mom, can’t you do that some other time? I rarely have any free time now and I wanted to spend some time with you,” Tricia said.

“I’m sorry, honey. I’ll put this away.” Closing her portfolio, Rena offered her daughter a big smile. “Happy now?”

“I’ll be happy when I’m certain you’re okay.”

“What are you talking about?”

Tricia took a seat at the bar and grabbed Rena’s hand. “Mom, I know what yesterday was.”

Rena swallowed hard as her daughter’s brown eyes regarded her with concern. Shutting her eyes, she blinked back the tears that threatened to burst forth.

“I’m fine, Tricia. Really I am.”

Her daughter shook her head. “No you’re not, Mom. I can see it in your eyes. All day you’ve been trying really hard with me and Shane, but I can tell you’re not really present. Talk to me.”

“Baby, I don’t want you to worry about me. Yes, yesterday was hard, but each year I get a little stronger.”

“Oh, Mom, you can fool everyone else, but you can’t fool me. You may be a tough girl, but sometimes we all need a moment. You went to the mausoleum and cried your eyes out, didn’t you?”

Rena opened her mouth to lie and give her daughter enough assurance to drop the subject, but she needed someone to confide in.

“I did. I don’t know how long I was there.”

Tricia’s eyes grew soft and she leaned over and hugged Rena. They held each other and this time Rena couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, Mom. I wanted to be with you yesterday, but I had clinicals all day and then it was late when I finally got home.”

Pulling back, she smiled at her daughter. “Don’t you apologize. You have your own life to live.”

“It’s not about that. It’s about being there for you when you really need it.”

Rena touched her cheek. “You’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

“Did Tony call?”

Damn. I knew this was coming.
Rena cleared her throat. “I haven’t heard from him.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Maybe something happened. Maybe he got placed on lockdown or something.”

“Don’t make excuses for him. There are none. If he wasn’t dead or dying he should’ve called. You deserve better than this, Mom.”

“Tricia, please. I don’t want to argue with you.”

“I don’t want to argue either, but the truth is the truth. He doesn’t deserve you and he never has. You’re beautiful, smart, and sophisticated just for starters. You could have any man that you want. Why stay married to him?”

Rena patted her daughter’s hand as more tears sprang to her eyes. She knew Tricia didn’t mean to be hard. Her daughter loved her and only wanted the best for her. It was one of the many reasons she loved Tricia more than her own life.

“I know how you feel about Tony and there are no rose-colored glasses over my eyes when it comes to him. He has flaws and he’s made more mistakes than I want to count, but I made a commitment and I’m doing my best to honor that commitment. I take my marriage seriously.”

“Do you still love him?”

Tricia was really forcing her to put all the cards on the table now. As raw as she was right now, the last thing she wanted was to be honest about her feelings for Tony. But a coward she was not.

“Yes…but not like I once did.”

“Then leave him. You’ve been married for ten years and he’s spent half of those in the penitentiary. Are you really going to wait around for ten more years when hopefully he’ll get out? Don’t do that to yourself, Mom. Enjoy your life. Find real love and stop wasting your life on Tony.”

“It’s not that simple, Tricia.”

“Yes it is. YOLO. You only live once. I just want you to be happy.”

“I know you do and I’m so grateful that you love and care so much about my happiness. Things are going to work themselves out and whether you believe it or not, I have been doing a lot of thinking about my marriage to Tony. You aren’t the first person to have this conversation with me.”

“Good to know. Maybe someone else will eventually convince you to take that much-needed step.”

Rena’s mind went to Shane and how they’d had almost the exact some conversation. Was she really being a fool by staying in the marriage? Or had her newfound lust for power overshadowed the real longing in her heart for love?

“I’ll just say it’s been on my mind a lot more frequently lately than usual, but enough about me. We’re alone now, so tell me about you and Shane.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything, naturally.”

“Well, we’ve been dating for a little over three months.”

“Okay. What else? Don’t leave me in suspense.”

“He’s the first guy I’ve ever felt really comfortable with. Shane’s not the type of guy you have to worry about when it comes to your hair looking a certain way or whether your makeup is perfect. We have so much fun together all the time, whether we’re going out to dinner or just hanging around watching movies together.”

Rena nodded. “He sounds like he’s your best friend.”

Tricia frowned and the first wave of alarm started to rise in Rena’s chest. She pressed her. “What is it?”

“See that’s the problem. Sometimes I feel like he is and maybe that’s all he should be.”

A bombshell had just been dropped.

“Why would you say that? He’s handsome and he seems like he really cares for you a lot.”

“Oh, I know. Believe me do I know. Everywhere we go women can’t keep their eyes off him, but he ignores them. I know he has eyes only for me, but we haven’t even taken that step, you know?”

Rena raised a brow. “What step?” Motherly concern laced her voice.

“Intimacy, Mom.”

“What’s so wrong with that? Maybe he respects you and wants you to make the move to let him know when you’re ready. All men aren’t horn dogs, Tricia.”

“I know Shane’s a good guy, but all we’ve done is kiss and snuggle. I mean, is there something wrong with me? Am I not giving off a come hither vibe like you do?”

If the look on her daughter’s face weren’t so serious, Rena would’ve laughed at the come hither remark.

“Baby, be honest with yourself. With everything you’ve got going on and are trying to accomplish, do you really want to complicate your life with sex and all that it entails right now? I’m going to tell you that it’s going to affect you emotionally. You’re going to be a ball of nerves and have no idea what to do with yourself. So if he isn’t pushing the issue and you’re sure he’s not cheating, then just enjoy things how they are. There’s nothing wrong with you, Tricia. I’d rather be The-Girl-Next-Door than the MILF men of all ages won’t leave alone.”

Tricia laughed heartily and Rena joined her. It felt good to laugh again, but even better to have such a close relationship with her daughter. She loved that Tricia felt comfortable enough to talk to her about things most daughters wouldn’t dare discuss with their mothers. Their relationship was precious and Rena hoped it would always be like that.

“Mom, when did you get to be so funny?”

“Hey, all this time to yourself helps you discover new talents.”

“Very funny, but seriously, Mom, Shane is hot and a part of me wants a piece of that.”

“I’ll agree with you there. He is pretty hot.”

Tricia hit her hand lightly with an exaggerated look of shock. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

“What? I may be married but I’m not blind or dead. He could easily be on the cover of somebody’s magazine. Does he have an older brother?”

“Glad to see you approve and no to your other question. He’s the oldest.”

“Oh well. So much for a new hookup to replace Tony.”

“That is coming when you least expect it. I’m praying for that one.”

“Keep praying, baby. Stranger things have happened.”

Tricia hugged her again. “I love you so much, Mom.”

“And I love you too, baby. So much. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

They held each other. Tricia had always been a calming influence on Rena. She wasn’t just her daughter. In a lot of ways she was her best friend as well. She was proud of the woman Tricia had become.

“Can I get in on the hugging?”

Rena and Tricia pulled apart to face Shane who was standing behind them wearing a pair of black swimming trunks. His hair was wet, plastered to his head. Droplets of water beaded on his broad, firm chest. Rena tore her eyes away, lest he was able to read her inappropriate thoughts.

“You know you can have all the hugs you want,” Tricia told him.

Shane grinned. “Just checking. I was getting lonely out there.”

Tricia hopped down from the barstool. “I’m sorry. You have my undivided attention now.”

“Lucky me.” Shane wrapped his arm around Tricia’s waist.

Rena watched them smiling and holding each other as they headed back out towards the pool.

“Sure you won’t join us, Mom?”

Rena waved them away. “No. You two go on and enjoy yourselves. I think I’m going to enjoy a long hot soak in the tub instead.”

“Alright, but you’re missing out.”

“I know. Some other time.”

Tricia nodded and disappeared, but Shane stared at her as if he could see right through her. She didn’t like it. His gaze unnerved her in the worst way. Rena breathed a sigh of relief when he finally returned outside. What was it about Shane Van Adams that got under her skin? He was not the first male to have an appreciation for her mysterious beauty and she was certain he would not be the last.

So why did a simple look from him put her emotions in such a knotted tangle? Was she just a lonely housewife who’d become fixated on the one man currently giving her attention? Or was it more to it than that?
Do I have more chemistry with my daughter’s boyfriend than she does?
Rena was afraid she knew the answer to that question and as much as she loved having Tricia home, a part of her would be relieved when her daughter left and took Shane with her. Sometimes magnetism was too hard to ignore and if there was not some distance between her and Tricia’s boyfriend, the force of attraction might just pull them together no matter how hard they fought against it.