Authors: Shelly Crane
“I wanted you here pretty badly so… I’m just glad you are,” I said and hugged him tightly. “I couldn’t let Enoch see me like that, so I came inside as fast as I could. I’m sorry, it was the only way it would work.”
“What are you… Oh. You want them to think we had a fight over this, and that I left,” he realized. I nodded to him. “They’ll leave, thinking we’ve ended our human\Devourer relationship and they’ll both be back to chasing me across the country and the Horde will move on. That’s actually not bad.”
“I have my moments,” I chimed and he smiled as he bent down to be closer to me.
“So, you didn’t think I’d slept with Angelina, even with the evidence right there in front of you?”
“No,” I snorted, “of course not. The Angelina ship has sailed.”
“But how? How did you know the truth?” he asked softly.
“I trust you,” I answered as if it was as easy as breathing. It was.
His hands rested on my lower back and he swallowed hard as he spoke.
“But how do you know I won’t go back to my old ways,” he said sadly. “I am a Devourer after all, and we are made to deceive and manipulate. I want it more than anything, but how can you trust me after everything I’ve done in my life, after everything you’ve seen from my kind the past few days.”
“It’s not about how you’re like the Devourers, Eli, it’s about how you’re not.”
“You are a magnificent creature,” he murmured before kissing me gently. “Thank you, Clara.”
“For what?” I asked dazed.
“For being level headed and not flying off the handle and taking the bait that Angelina fed you.”
“You’re welcome,” I said and smirked but it spread back into a frown. “Now comes the hard part.”
“I have to actually leave,“ he said in understanding and nodded. “I wondered if you’d thought that part through. They’ll see the string. They’ll know if I’m still here.”
It was my turn to nod.
“I know, and I don’t like it at all, but I don’t see any other way right now. You don’t have to stay away long, just a few days.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “And then what?”
“Come back here and finish school with me,” I spouted causing him to smirk.
“I don’t actually need to finish school, again.”
“But you want to be with me,” I said coyly.
“I do,” he agreed and then chewed his lip. “It’s for the best, for me to leave, to keep you safe.”
“It’ll work,” I agreed.
“I won’t go too far. I can’t, and to be honest, I’m not sure it’s such a good idea to leave you alone anyway.”
“I’ll be fine. You can make sure they’re following you out of town first and when they are, you’ll know I’m safe here. With the Horde gone too, I’ll be safe. I’ll just wait for you to come back.”
“You realize I can’t come to physically see you before I leave. They’ll be watching now, they’ll know.”
I nodded.
“This is goodbye, I know,” I said softly
“You are so incredibly smart and lovable. You know that?”
“It doesn’t hurt to be told,” I said to him but it was hitting me that he was leaving. Because of my stupid plan. Why did I open my mouth!
“Hey, you’re right,” he told me as he took my face in his hands, “this’ll work. It’s a genius plan that I’m sad to say I hadn’t thought of. As long as the Horde stays away, we should be fine for a while once I come back.” He let his lips touch mine softly. “I will miss you something fierce, CB.”
“Me too. It doesn’t seem right; you leaving the day after I ultimately pick you out of every other guy in the world. You should feel pretty special,” I quipped; my survival tactic. When things got tough, I got sarcastic.
“Don’t I know it,” he said gently and kissed the edge of my lips. “It’s alright if you miss me, Clara.”
“I will miss you.”
“It’s ok to say you will, and to be vulnerable with me.”
“I’m going to miss you,” I squeaked. “Please come back,” I said against this chest. “Be careful and don’t stay gone too long.”
“I will do all of those things,” he promised. “And of course I’ll visit you in our Reveries. Until then, I hate to say it, but you’re already late for school and if I don’t leave soon, they may get suspicious.”
I knew it was true, but I wasn’t ready for him to go yet.
I pulled him down to kiss me. He was just as needy as I was but I took as much as I gave. I pressed, he pressed. He groaned, I groaned. I dipped into him and gripped him for support, he did the same. It was torture in its truest sense. Way before I was ready, he pulled back and licked his bottom lip.
“Be cautious. Even though the Horde may not be waiting around the corner doesn’t mean that it’s safe for a girl to walk the streets at night.”
“Ok. Wait- you’re going to miss the Sweet Grass carnival,” I whined. It was only two nights away.
“And the dance.”
“I told you, I’m not going to that. But I did want to go to the carnival with you. Oh well,” I said and put on a brave smile. “It’s fine.”
“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “If I could be here by then I would but-“
“I know. It’s ok.”
“I’ll be back before you know it. And I’ll see you tonight in the Reverie.”
“Of course.” I accepted his kiss once more. “Please be careful.”
“That goes double for you.”
“Deal.”
“Deal. Bye, Clara.”
“Bye.”
And then he was gone. I was alone on my bed, late for school, and I felt as empty as I’d ever felt.
Eighteen
I
trudged to school. Yes, trudged. I was late already so it didn’t really matter. And if someone was watching me there was no way they’d miss the dejected look on my face. It was ridiculous, really. I‘d never had someone consume my thoughts like this before. I looked at my wrist and the string was still there, as real and alive as it had been yesterday. Only now, it’s stretched out to Eli who was no longer by my side but off somewhere without me.
I sighed but stopped in my tracks. I thought I saw something white jump out of my vision into the bushes. I looked closer but saw nothing now. I imagined Enoch, or Angelina even, following me to make sure Eli wasn’t with me. I stood straighter and huffed my way across the street. I wasn’t about to get caught in some word play with one of them.
I made it to second period just as it started. The rest of the morning was blurry and meaningless. I sat and tried to listen but ultimately didn’t retain much of what was said. I made an effort not to look at people directly so they wouldn’t question me about my eyes all day.
I did stop by Mrs. Gibbs’ classroom and tell her I was quitting spirit squad. Of course, she’d heard all the gossip around school about everything that happened, but she was anything but sympathetic. She said she was disappointed in me for letting them drive me away from my dreams. I let her think what she wanted instead of trying to explain that it was never my dream to begin with.
Then lunch came. I made my way inside and got my tray of pizza and juice; a winning combination. As I squeezed through the kids to get to Patrick’s table, I was stopped by a big body suddenly in front of me.
Tate.
“Clara, hey,” he said casually, as if nothing had happened between us. He even smiled a little before it slid away. “What did you do to your eyes?”
“Contacts.”
“Why? Your blue eyes were so gorgeous, why would you change it?” he asked with a hard edge, like he already knew the answer.
“They’re my eyes. I think I can handle what color I want them to be.”
He shuffled his feet for a few seconds and rolled his shoulders.
“I was wondering if you wanted to go to the dance with me?”
“No,” I said and tried to go around him.
He grabbed my arm, forcing me to drop my entire tray onto the floor. I stared at him in disbelief but he seemed just as stunned.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to grab you that hard. I just wanted to talk,” he asked and looked around embarrassed as everyone stopped to see what the ruckus had been about.
“Are you still using?” I asked quietly. His silent, hard stare was my answer. I started to walk off again, leaving my tray behind as collateral damage, but he grabbed me once again.
“Stop walking away from me!”
And just when I realized that the entire lunchroom was going to watch him grab me and spill my food and not do a thing about it, an unlikely hero abounded.
“Let her go, man,” Patrick said from behind me. I looked to see Patrick, Ike and that guy they called Buzzer all standing there. Buzzer was still chewing on his pizza. I turned back to Tate, not quite sure of what to make of the situation myself. He glanced them all over and decided they were no threat and went on.
“Go to the dance with me.”
“No, I’m not going. If I was, I’d go with Eli.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re not my boyfriend anymore, Tate.”
“You can’t be serious, Clara. Ok.” He raised his hands. “I get it, you made your point.” He stepped a half step closer and whispered but it was harsh and angry. “You wanted me to beg, to make you feel important and desirable? Ok fine, I’m begging. Now stop being stupid and come back to our table. You’re just making a fool of yourself hanging out with these freaks.”
I had thought I was helpless. I thought I needed Eli here, that he was my strength, my protector. But in that moment, I realized that though Eli was those things, I had learned something from him that I could now do on my own; stand up for myself.
“Screw you, Tate.”
I then walked into Patrick’s congenial arm out for me and we walked back to his table with the buzz of laughter and ‘Oh snap!’s and “Shot down!’ around us. It hit me then how juvenile this place was and how I was so very ready to leave it behind.
“Wow, kitty,” Ike said and made claws at me. “Raer!”
“Bite me,” I laughed and took their good natured jabs gracefully.
The rest of lunch was spent cutting up and trying to munch down my new tray of pizza that Pat had gotten me in between questions about my eyes and where could they get contacts like that. The nose chain girl, whose name I learned was Ariel, was actually really cool. She worked at a clothing store in the mall and we both loved the same bands and foods. It wasn’t everyday you found someone else who loved Ramen Noodles and fried egg sandwiches.
They were both something my mom had gotten me started on, her growing up in the south being the cause. She had been a Georgia Peach, through and through. Then she moved to Big Timber, Montana with my dad. They’d met at college and the rest was history.
“Ok, if you say your favorite book is by Jane Austen, I’m going to throw a fit,” she said and looked really serious. I laughed and when I told her I didn’t read in my spare time she gasped and looked like she wanted to slap me a little. I inched back. When I brought up my favorite vamp shows, she settled and was once again back on my side, though she argued that all those shows were based on books and that I should read them. I respectfully declined.
Math was brutal and long. Art was a disaster without Eli there to help me. When I eventually slinked into the house to find it once again busy and unruly, I rolled my eyes. It was beginning to be so hectic around there, I could disappear and they’d never know. I stopped and thought. Maybe that was a good thing, if impending doom found Eli and I in the aftermath of everything that happened.
“Can you watch the babies tonight, Clara?” Mrs. Ruth asked. “If I don’t get out of this house, I’m going to go crazy.”
“Sure,” I answered, happy for a distraction.