Dex (12 page)

“
Yew
have great skin. Nice tones,” Flo said applying a light coating of cream on Dex’s cheeks. Then she dipped a brush in stuff that looked like very light cocoa and made big, sweeping circles over his nose, chin and forehead as if she were dusting a lamp.

Casey came back just as Flo was brushing Dex’s face with something like corn starch, but she called it finishing
powdah
.

“
Yaw awl
done,” Flo said, lightly holding up Dex’s chin to admire her work.

“Thanks Flo,” Casey said. “We’re outta here.”

She ushered Dex out the door as he was waving goodbye to Flo. “Don’t worry, you look wondaful!” she reassured, giving him a brief once-over.

“Yeah, like it’s Halloween and I’m going as my sister,” Dex complained. “Are you supposed to feel this stuff on your skin?” Dex wanted to rub the coating off, but thought better of it.

Casey giggled, “Virgin skin has to get used to being dressed.”

Dex hoped Casey didn’t see him blush. Hearing the word ‘virgin’ regarding any part of him was embarrassing.

“Where is Flo from?” Dex asked, anxious to change the subject.

“Queens or Brooklyn,” Casey answered. “When I first started working here, I could have used an interpreter to understand her.” She patted his arm, “You get used to it. After a while, you can get used to almost anything.”

Dex continued following Casey until they got to a path that forked into two different hallways. One was the color of sunflowers, the other, dollar bills.

“Your room is to the left, down the yellow-brick road,” Casey said with a straight face.

“Huh?”

“That’s what Ezra calls it,” Casey explained. “All the newer Eatz network people get their start on this side. Once they ‘make it,’ they get moved over to the green side.”

“Wow- that sounds kind of weird,” Dex mumbled.

“Yup! Welcome to television.”

Dex followed Casey to a white door that had a blank, dry erase board affixed to the front.

“Sometimes you’ll get notes left for you here, but most of the time someone will be in touch with you.” Casey opened the door to a space the size of his bathroom. If he didn’t want claustrophobia he would have to ‘make it’ as an Eatz star pretty soon.

“Well, I have to get going,” Casey said, frowning at her watch. “A big, doofy guy, but please don’t tell him I said that, named Arby, is going to take you down to the stage area a few minutes before you go on.  He’s nice, but not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.”

“What do you mean?” Dex replied.

“He’s been known to fill sugar canisters with salt,” Casey sighed.

“So he makes mistakes.”

“He’s the nephew of the vice president of the network. We don’t call them mistakes.” Casey’s phone buzzed and flashed bright colors. “Gotta run. I’ll catch you after the show.”

Dex watched her disappear down the path before officially checking out the dressing room he was sure he didn't need. It’s not like he had to wear anything special besides an apron, which, from the looks of it, was about all that would fit on the hook taped to the wall next to the narrow mirror. Except for the Nitro coaster at Great Adventure, checking out this room was the shortest three minutes of his life. Dex had seen closets bigger than this. Maybe he would ask Ezra if there was anyone else who could use the space.

Before he had the chance to make himself feel worse there was a knock on the door. Arby was a tall, chunky guy around Casey’s age, wearing jeans. He didn’t display any signs of stupidity. Until he spoke. “Hey, you’re a kid.”

Since Dex already knew that, he began to understand Casey’s concerns.

“Nice to meet you,” Dex lied. “I’m Dex Rossi.”

“Yeah. I have it in a text message from someone. Can’t remember who.” Arby scratched his head. “I didn’t think you were a kid. Maybe the message said you were, but I’m not sure.”

“You know,” Dex said, “I am a kid, but it doesn’t really matter.” He walked out the door to join Arby. “So, what’s next, Arby?”

“Next?” Arby cocked his head to the side.

“You’re taking me to the studio kitchen,” Dex prompted. “Right?” Dex started walking down the path.

“Ooooh, right,” Arby nodded as he followed Dex. “How’d you know my name?”

“Everyone knows your name around here,” Dex cajoled.

“Guess so. I’m in charge of a lot,” Arby boasted. “So, your parents have a show or something?”

Dex thought about health class and the segment they did on smoking marijuana. He couldn’t swear to it, but Arby acted just like the example of someone ‘high’ they explained during the power point presentation.

“I’m starting my own show today,” Dex explained.

“Wow! You’re a little dude for that,” Arby said, sounding impressed. “How’d you get the gig?”

“To make a long story short, I kind of know someone.”

“Me too, little dude. Me too. We got something in common.”

Dex groaned knowing that for as long as he and Arby would be working together, Dex was going to have to get used to being called ‘little dude.’ The thought would have really depressed him if he didn’t have more immediate concerns.

“Do you know what time I go on?” Dex asked.

“Um. Well. Um. I could find out,” Arby offered.

“Don’t worry about it,” Dex grunted. “I’ll ask when we get there.”

Just before they reached the studio kitchen, a woman in a red sweater stopped Arby with her hand to his arm. She put a smile on for Dex, pointed him in the right direction, and then shuffled Arby into her office.

Dex finally arrived at stage left where Courtney, another twenty-something assistant, was waiting for him.

“You’re on in ten,” Courtney said, handing him an apron. “How are you doing?”

Dex shrugged. “Is my make-up okay? I can’t feel it anymore.”

#

An announcer boomed over the studio speakers:

Everyone get ready! It’s time to Dine with Dex!
There was huge applause and Dex could feel his heart begin to race.

And now, your chef of the hour, the youngest Eatz Network chef of all time, a little man who’s big on taste, Dex Rossi!

There was more applause as a giant sign that read,
DINE WITH DEX
descended from the ceiling. Music started playing and Dex caught a glimpse of Marla, Geema, Alicia, Liza, Kyle, and Jordy, sitting in the front row applauding. Liza even did a few woop-woops.

The energy was at its peak when Courtney gave Dex a nudge into the kitchen. He scanned the audience, but the lighting made it impossible to make out faces. That was probably a good thing because he was terrified. All that kept running through his head was Arby calling him ‘little dude’ and tomato sauce flying through the air landing on everyone like pigeon poop.

Dex moved stiffly as he turned to the wall behind him. There was a large projection screen set up to display visual effects during the show. Above the screen was a contraption called the DEX-O-METER that resembled an old-fashioned elevator floor counter.

“Hey everyone, thanks for tuning in. I’m Dex, and my motto is: If you can eat it, you can cook it! And if it can eat you, run!”

The audience laughed. Dex began to feel his heart slow down to just below warp speed.

“Today I’m going to show you how to turn a trip to the kitchen into a mouth-watering vacation, with some Dex-cellent tropical treats.”

The
DEX-O-METER
sprang into action, making a loud ding as its arrow pointed to the number one. Dex turned around to face the screen and made a finger-gunpoint gesture to indicate the appearance of a new food image. He could feel himself gaining confidence and even decided to have fun.

“First up, a drink that you won’t need an ID to enjoy, and no, it’s not a Shirley Temple.

It’s an alcohol-free Mango Pina Colada swirling with fresh mangoes and rich pineapple ice cream. Then we’re going to keep the waves crashing with my tropical take on an old favorite.”

He motioned to the screen and again it switched to a new image. “My Lobster Mac ‘n Cheese is sure to please bringing together a casserole classic, a creamy blend of Gruyere, cheddar, and muenster cheese and delicious Lobster.”

“And don’t worry about dessert,” he exclaimed, flailing his pointer finger once more to switch the screen image, “because we have Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies, made with my favorite sweetener, Dex-trose. The perfect end to our Dex-otic kitchen getaway.”

The audience laughed as the DEX-0-METER clicked another couple of notches giving Dex the chance to end his opening on a high note.

"Now let's get cookin'!"

CHAPTER seventeen

“No, no, no! Stop thinking small.” Preston LeTray threw the latest copy of
Spotlight on Bergen County
across his office. Yvette was a total ignoramus if she thought a local magazine would be enough publicity to overshadow that little jerk. He let out a full, long groan and turned to a chart on the laptop sitting on the table.

Yvette started to say something, but then shriveled into her seat like a puppy getting yelled at for peeing on the carpet.

“Have you seen his ratings? I have. Here.” Preston twisted the laptop so she could see it.

“Isn’t it bad enough I have to see his dumb three-foot smile on that billboard on Route 78 every time I’m on my way to work? That’s where MY face used to be.”

“I’m sorry, Pressykins,” Yvette said, as she retrieved the errant magazine. “If you don’t want to do an interview with Spotlight, that’s fine. It was just an idea.”

“We have to think bigger. Much, much bigger,” Preston insisted, extending and pulsing his arms outright. “It’s been a month since
Dine with Dex
started, and that little snot nose has been on the cover of every magazine that doesn’t have a centerfold.”

“I didn’t see him on National Geographic,” Yvette maintained with a faint smile.

“This isn’t a joke!”

“Of course not, Pressy.” Yvette stood behind Preston and started to massage his neck.

“Remember how we crushed
Fran’s Fixin’s
?” Preston recalled.

“Made her into crumbs,” Yvette whispered, as she kneaded his shoulders.

“And if we play our cards right we can get ahead of
Merri-Made Meals
within a couple of weeks.”

“Of course we can Pressy. That woman’s voice sounds like glass in a blender.”

“I need a guarantee. I need a plan so that this little jerk can’t get in my way. This is my network!”

“Just so you know, I found out the kid is going to be on
Letterman
.”

“Isn’t that way past his bed time?” Preston sneered.

“Maybe, but the audience went wild over him on Jimmy Kimmel, and Whoopi had a blast with him on
The View
. It was actually kinda cute.”

“Yvette!” Preston bellowed.

“Right.” Yvette said, massaging his temples. “Pressy, don’t you worry.” She kissed his forehead.  “No one’s going to get in your way with Yvette at your side.”

#

Alicia ran down the hall clutching her camera tightly. She was afraid it would be knocked on the floor by the hoards of students leaving the gym. Today she would be taking footage for her film as she walked through the school. Dex had told her to meet him in front of the cafeteria, but he didn’t warn her about the pep rally. She was navigating her way toward an empty corner of the white-brick hallway when an older man with curly gray hair stopped her.

“Excuse me young lady. Can I help you?”

“No, I’m fine,” Alicia answered.

“Let me rephrase that,” the man said, taking a less friendly tone. “You’re not one of our students, and you’re not a teacher. Do you have a visitor’s pass?”

Groups of kids stared at Alicia as if she were being arrested and walked to the other side of the hall.

“A pass? No, but I called,” Alicia explained. “You must be the new assistant principal.”

“Yes,” he said dismissively, “So what are you doing here with a camera?”

“I’m Alicia Rossi.”

“Oh! Dex’s sister. The film student!” the man cried. “Of course, I should have known.  Here, let me help you,” he said, taking her camera case and slinging it over his shoulder. “I’m Jack Cassel.” He shook her hand. “And please, call me Jack.”

“Thank you so much…Jack,” she said, uncomfortable speaking to him as a peer. “Sorry for the misunderstanding.”

“Oh, no problem.” He was already walking down the left corridor. “Where are you headed?”

“My brother is waiting for me by the cafeteria.”

“Okay then. Follow me.”

“I’m not sure how much you know, but I’m doing a film project on Dex.”

“Yes. I heard. Fascinating.” Jack adjusted his glasses. “Privacy is certainly an issue. With his popularity on the rise, we sent home a letter to students and their families asking them to treat Dex with respect as they would any celebrity,” Jack explained. “I’m afraid it did nothing.  And today’s likely to be especially nuts since he was on yesterday’s cover of
Seventeen
. For the past couple of weeks now, reporters and photographers have been trying to sneak in to get to Dex.” Jack sounded exhausted. “It’s not the kid’s fault at all, but I can’t say it hasn’t been a bit…difficult.”

“Really? Wow! Would you mind if I got that on tape? Just a short interview?” Alicia asked.

“I suppose that would be fine,” Jack said, handing her back the camera. He smoothed over his thick, silver hair with his hands. “My wife and I were on the news once when we had a flood in our basement. You should have seen the pictures they got of that.” He wiped his face and the corners of his mouth. “This’ll be cake.”

After the interview, Jack spent several minutes trying to coax Alicia to be the new videographer for the school. “You really have a knack for this.” Jack was fishing for something in his pocket as he spoke.

“Thanks so much Jack, I really appreciate the offer, but I’m in school full-time. As tempting as it may be, I’m not ready to accept that kind of position.”

“I applaud your dedication. Your parents must be very proud of you.” He had apparently found what he was looking for and he handed it over with a smile.

Alicia glanced at the offering. It was a William Alexander Middle School pen imprinted with his name and extension number.

“Please feel free if you need a recommendation or anything. I can--”

Just then a hall monitor approached, saying something about a fight in the girls’ locker room. Jack mumbled an apology. Alicia thanked him again and he wished her luck before disappearing around the corner.

#

“Dex!” Alicia called, spotting her brother in the crowded hall retrieving a bottled water from a vending machine.

“Leesh!” Dex tried to peer over a group of tall students to see her, but it was impossible. Finally there was a break in the crowd and he found his way over to her.

“Where are Liza and Kyle?” she asked, dusting the lint off her camera lens.

“Don’t worry. They’re coming.” Dex took a sip of his water. “Kyle forgot his Tums in his locker.”

“Oh good. That’ll save me from having to edit out at least twenty burps.” Alicia pressed a few buttons and was ready to record.

“You can hope.” Dex took another sip of water and noticed a guy from the basketball team walking toward him.

Alicia started filming. Instinct told her this moment would be worth the battery time.

“Hey,” the guy said, giving Dex a small jab to the arm. “I know this’ll sound a little lame, but can I have your autograph?”

“
You
want my autograph?” Dex sounded confused. “Why?”

Kyle and Liza came up from behind him, “Because,” Kyle said, “in case you haven’t noticed, you’re kind of a TV star.”

“Yeah,” said the basketball guy, “It’s for my sister. She totally digs your show,” he said, taking a black pen from over his ear and giving it to Dex along with a sheet of paper.

Dex shot Liza a quick look and tried not to laugh. Nobody he knew ever said ‘dig’ except the guy with long hair and three nose rings at the health food store on Main Street.

“What do you want me to write to your sister?”

“Um…how about, ‘To my cool friend, Alex.’”

Dex signed the paper and gave it back to the guy, who tucked it neatly inside a folder and started to walk away.  Dex laughed as he heard a voice yell, “Hey Alex, did he sign it?” and the guy answered, “Shut up, dude!”

“Cool,” Alicia said, “I got to tape my little brother signing an autograph!”

“There’s going to be a lot of those going on,” Liza promised. “Everyone in school is tweeting about the class trip to see your show. See...,” she said, showing him the tweets on her phone.

Dex was taken aback.

“And guess what else?” Liza gushed, scrolling down further on her phone.  “Sarah tweeted this just this morning:”

SO DONE WITH HUNTER - AGAIN

“I already knew,” Dex admitted.

“That’s impossible. She just posted it.”

“She told me.”

Before Liza could get more details, a dorky girl with braces, glasses, and pigtails held in yellow scrunchies interrupted them.

“Hi Deck-
th
!” she said with a pronounced lisp. “I think your show
ith thooper
, really
thooper
, but you haven’t made anything for people with food
allergie-th
!” She spoke so quickly it was hard to make out what she was saying. “I’m
lacto-th
intolerant and if I eat
nut-th,
my
fay-th burth-t with pimple-th
...”

The girl stopped at her locker, still jabbering about something else wrong with her face, but Dex was too busy thinking about Sarah’s tweet to hear her.

“Why’d they break up?” Dex asked. “Did Sarah say?”

“I thought you already knew.”

“She told me at her bat-mitzvah. But, she didn’t tell me why. And then I saw them together again!”

“Oh. Well, she didn’t tweet it, but I heard from a very reliable source that she caught Hunter hooking up with Jade Carravaccio.”

A girl with an unusually large chest walked by. "Speak of the devil," Kyle said.

Dex wasn't speaking. His eyes were locked on Jade's ample chest.

Liza reached up and clapped her hands in front of his face, practically up against his eyes.

"Hey!" Dex jumped back. “What's that for?"

"You need to pay attention to me. Sarah, remember? Hunter? Break-up?"

“Yeah!” Dex said. “I remember. Hunter’s a jerk.”

"Need a Snapple," Kyle said, turning away.

Just then a short boy with freckles holding a frying pan in his hand walked up to the group.

“Can you sign this, to my good friend, Max?” The boy held out a Sharpie. “Max is my sister Maxine. It’s for her.”

“Here you go,” Dex said, pretty certain the kid’s sister was in his English class and her name was Miranda. No point in embarrassing these guys. It must be strange asking another guy for his autograph.

“Hey, Dex,” said a very thin girl in an over-sized purple sweatshirt that hung close to her knees, “can you sign this?” She held out her sleeve. “To Brittany, with love Dex,” she giggled.

Dex looked at her quizzically, “You want me to sign your shirt?”