Diane R. Jewkes (13 page)

She gazed at the stars twinkling brightly in the velvet midnight sky, as tears rolled quietly down her cheeks.

“I love you, Mama,” she whispered, wiping the tears with the back of her hand, “how I wish you could help me now.” Drawing a deep ragged sigh, she said a prayer.

She knew only she could solve this dilemma. Lost in her thoughts, she did not hear the crunching on the stones. She started at the quiet cough. Afraid it might be Black, she drew back into the shadows, looking for something to defend herself with.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you.” Hawke quickly moved towards her, his hand extended.

“What are you doing out here?”

Her heart pounded painfully in her chest. She was not ready to face him or deal with the attraction she felt.

“I couldn’t sleep, and when I saw you out here, I thought it might be a good time for us to talk. Also, I came to let you know Alec and I will be leaving for White Oaks in the morning, ahead your father’s scheduled departure on Saturday. I have some business to conclude.”

“Is this the business you and Alec have been so secretive about?” She stood, uneasiness overcome by curiosity. She wanted to know if he would finally tell her about this mysterious business of his. “What have you been hiding? It isn’t anything that would hurt my family or the ranch, is it?”

• • •

The note in her voice and the tilt of her head reminded him so much of Bethany, Hawke had to smile.

Lifting his hand to softly caress her cheek, Hawke decided to tell her the whole story. Maybe then she wouldn’t be so suspicious of him. Maybe then, she might begin to trust him.

He felt her stiffen when he touched her. She relaxed, and instead of pulling away from his touch, leaned her cheek into his palm. The small gesture touched him.

“No, the business I have in White Oaks started before I ever heard of your ranch, or you. It has to do with my sister Bethany. She’s a few years younger than you. Always a bright and loving and as a child — she was forever in my back pocket.” Memories of a girl who no longer existed drew a sigh from deep inside him. “She was always happy and very trusting of everyone.” He shrugged his shoulders. “And why not? She’d never had a reason to mistrust anyone … until she got tangled up with Geoffrey Tompkins.”

His lips tightened. “Geoffrey is the second son of our neighbor, Lord Tompkins.”

Bethany was flattered by the attention Geoffrey paid her. She had just had her coming-out but had yet to go to London to make her bow in court. In the country there weren’t many young men to court her, so Geoffrey’s attention seemed all the more special. “I was in India at the time. Through her letters I knew of her growing feelings. I wrote her repeatedly, telling her not to let him turn her head, but she wouldn’t listen to me.”

He hesitated, memories crowded his tongue. “My father had gone to London on business, leaving my mother and Bethany alone with a houseful of servants. You’d think she would have been safe, surrounded by people. But Tompkins sent her a note asking her to meet him. She went even though it had been expressly forbidden.”

A small cloud, scuttling across the sky, hid the moon.

His voice was tight and the words caught in his throat, anger choking him.

“Ewan, the head groom, found her after her horse returned without her.” His head dropped to his chest. He unclenched his fist and clutched her hand like drowning man grasping a lifeline.

“She was lying by the lake, curled in a ball. I was told her dress had been torn and there were bruises on her body. She wouldn’t tell anyone what had happened. She screamed when the doctor came to examine her. No one could console her. She shut herself away from the world. She no longer laughs or has any joy in life. She is in a dark world no one can reach.” A ragged breath escaped through tight lips. “She has locked herself away from everything and everyone.”

Then he explained how his father had sent the magistrate after Geoffrey, but it was too late, and how he and Alec had learned through the Pinkerton Detective, that Geoffrey was hiding in White Oaks.

“Alec returned from White Oaks earlier today with word Geoffrey had been found,” Hawke said. “He also found out from a Miss Babours that Tompkins has been living and working in town for many months.”

“Daisy is the schoolteacher in town. She knows who every eligible man in town is, and what their prospects are. I don’t think she wants to remain a teacher for long.” Kara smiled.

“I daresay you are familiar with women like her?”

“Was your sister … .”

She caught herself. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t — I’m sorry,” she stammered, as she dropped her head, cheeks aflame, ashamed of her forwardness.

“It’s all right.” He squeezed her hand. “The doctor said no, and found no evidence to make him think Geoffrey had done more than attempt to force himself on her. The doctor said physically she hadn’t been hurt badly, but emotionally she seemed to have shattered like a piece of crystal dropped on a floor.”

“I’m sorry for the pain you and your family have had to endure.”

• • •

Kara contemplated the story he’d told her. The thought that his sister might have reacted out of proportion played in her mind. She stomped the traitorous thought down.
How could I think such a thing?
Even though she had met girls like that — spoiled, demanding girls who would use every advantage to gain their way — there was no evidence Bethany was the same type. She didn’t know her.

In the end, it didn’t really matter. It was the pain and guilt so plainly etched on the face of the man seated beside her that tore at her heart. He still clasped her hand tightly between his, lost in his thoughts.

Tentatively, she reached up with her free hand and turned his face to hers, gazing once more in the smoky depths of his eyes. No matter what the truth, she only wanted to soothe the pain she saw.

“You can’t keep blaming yourself,” she told him. “There was no way you could have prevented what happened. Your sister chose to sneak out of the house and meet him. If I had been in her place, I might have done the same thing. But you do have control over how you react. You said yourself you were not there, and no one has had a chance to question Geoffrey about what happened. Maybe, before you go off and kill him or hurt him, you might ask him what happened. Then if you don’t like his answer — ” She saw his eyes questioning. “Then you can kill him. But realize, no matter what you do, only your sister can heal herself.”

• • •

When had this woman-child become so wise? At first her words angered him. It was his sister she was talking about, what did she know about her? But as she continued, he realized her concerns were valid. He always prided himself on being logical and pragmatic, but in just a few words Kara pointed out how he was reacting emotionally. He tried to put emotion aside and look again.

The doctor said Bethany had not been raped, and though there were a few bruises on her waist and arms, nothing to suggest Tompkins had gotten under her skirts. He still had every intention of finding Tompkins. But, he would talk to him first — then kill him. Looking into her softly smiling face, he felt his admiration and respect for her grow. If only Bethany had been raised to be as independent and strong as Kara. She cradled his cheek with her hand — a gentle gesture, but it made desire roar to life. He turned his head in her hand, inhaled the fragrance uniquely hers, and placed a soft kiss on the warm palm. He was surprised at the softness of her hands, knowing how hard she worked. He heard her soft intake of her breath and felt his blood heat. Reaching up, he captured her hand and placed small kisses on the inside of her wrist.

Even as he leaned in to capture her lips, a part of Hawke’s brain raised the specter of his promise to her father.

But her lips beckoned, so lush and inviting, he’d have to be a saint not to respond. Groaning, he pulled her softly to him, and kissed her, and knew he was lost.

Her tongue tentatively touched his and Hawke thought he was going to lose all control. The innocent sensuality of this woman, warm in his arms, surprised and pleased him. There was nothing coy about her. The need to make her his dug into him like spurs. He felt firm, warm flesh through her robe, driving him wild with need. He felt a ragged sigh against his mouth, and knew her need matched his.

Her response to him was so strong, he was in danger of losing what tenuous control he had over his raging desire. Hawke was drowning in the whirlpool of desire.

No matter the woman, in the past, he had always kept a portion of himself apart, in control. But she was so warm in his arms, drawing him in, he didn’t want to keep any part of himself from her. Her small hands rubbing impatiently on his chest threatened to send him over the edge. He knew she didn’t know what she was pleading for with her caresses. He burned to take her, lay her down, right there, and make her his.

He had brought her to this place, this need, but no matter how his body urged him to, he could not satisfy it.

Not now. He would not have her this way. Reluctantly he broke the kiss and gently took her hands in his.

• • •

No one ever mentioned how sensitive the skin on a wrist could be. Kara felt shivers dance along her nerves. She felt the heat of his breath as his lips trailed across her flesh. He had both of her hands held within his. Her body leapt to flames as his lips trailed up to the inside of her elbow.

“Hawke … ” She tried to gather her tattered senses about her, but finding it hard to form a thought. She was so distracted by his lips. “I don’t think … .”

“That’s right,” he whispered, his warm breath sending more chills skating over her body, “don’t think.” He raised his head and looked deeply into her eyes. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from those molten silver eyes, the intensity was almost hypnotic.

Her heart fluttered wildly. There was no one there to interrupt them. He leaned in to kiss. Excitement built in her. Kara wanted to feel his lips on hers. They captured hers, soft as a breeze, at first. It wasn’t enough. She wanted to feel more. His lips pressed more firmly; his tongue ran lightly over her lips and he reached up to cup her face with his hands, tipping her head to deepen the caress. He nibbled lightly on her lips, teasing them until they opened and his tongue slipped into her mouth.

The moist heat of his tongue shocked and thrilled her; the slow assault on her senses continued. A tremor of desire coursed through her, pooling low in her belly, taking her breath away. Cautiously, she began mimicking his motions and caressing his tongue with hers, moaning against his mouth.

Kara was on fire. The feel and taste of him consumed her. His lips and tongue teased her mouth, sending wave after wave of aching heat arcing through her. She never knew kissing could create such sensations, such need. She thought she’d melt, feeling his hand cup her breast. His thumb began to rub lightly over her already taut nipple. Her breast tightened as the heat of his large hand and the small movement of his thumb sent exquisite tingles to her thighs and a ticklish heat coiled low in her belly.

She moaned into his mouth, the need to get closer to him, to be surrounded by him, to have him ease the ache inside, was driving her on. Her hands slid up his chest, rubbing the hard muscles beneath his shirt, pleading silently for him to quench the flame he had ignited.

Kara laid her head against Hawke’s chest fighting to control her rioting senses. Her breathing was just beginning to slow, her heartbeat still thundering in her ears. She could hear the rapid pounding of his heart through the wall of warm firm muscle. Their hearts seemed to be pounding out the same rhythm. What he made her feel was beyond words, and she longed to feel it again. But she knew he was right, and realizing he was being strong enough for both of them made it a little easier. Shyly she scooted back and looked up at him. His eyes were soft and warm and a sad smile curved his lips. Oh those lips! She wanted to feel them on her mouth again. Realizing what she was doing, she pulled back, trying to corral her rioting senses.

“What happens now?” Her voice was husky with unspent need. “Where do we go from here? When you’ve taken care of this man who hurt your sister, then what? Do you return to England? Do you stay here?”

She stopped, realizing she sounded almost hysterical.
This is not me! I am a strong, independent woman.
She wasn’t about to become some clingy needy female, certainly not after only one kiss — even an earthshaking kiss like that — not ever. Standing she turned away from him.

“I don’t know, lass.” He stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders kneading them gently. “I won’t lie to you. You’ve been the most unexpected thing about this trip.”

He turned her to face him. “Lass you’re tryin’ my verra soul.” He looked down into eyes still glazed with desire. “I made a promise to your father, and much as I’d like to kick myself right now for giving it, I’m a man of my word.” Leaning forward, he kissed her furrowed brow. “Even though I regret it, I’m sending you to bed.” A wry smile caught his lips. “Alone.”

Hawke and Alec left at sunrise, riding out of the valley, climbing towards the reddish hills where the town lay. The day warmed rapidly and the rolling grass fields changed to scrubby mesquite and small scraggly pine trees.

“Those rocky outcroppings remind me of India,” Alec remarked. When no answer was forthcoming, he looked over. Hawke seemed lost in a fog of his own thoughts.

“Thinking about Tompkins, or Kara?”

He was rewarded with a steely glare.

“You seem to be extremely attracted to Miss Jonston, or am I mistaken?”

“I’d rather not discuss it. Let’s decide how we are going to find Tompkins. Should we try to approach Tompkins at the mine, or see what we can find out in town first?”

“We should probably talk to his landlady first. Find out his schedule. Surprise would be the best way to gain the advantage.”

Cresting the hill overlooking the town they saw the Cedarvale Cemetery. Rough wooden rails surrounded the desolate graveyard. The wind blew softly among the gravestones and plain wooden crosses dotting the red earth. Here and there were signs of freshly tended graves, flowers left by mourners on newly turned earth, a quiet counterpoint to the town below.