Diary of a Wedding Planner in Love (Tales Behind the Veils Book 2) (33 page)

Saturday, May 31st

Cabe's come over every night this week. We've had dinner. We've watched movies. Shopped for groceries. Folded laundry. Hung out. He can only stay four hours at a time with Deacon waiting at home, but other than that, it's like we're back to normal. Well, except I don't even know what our normal is at this point.

Basically, we're back to talking and texting multiple times every day, hanging out every evening, and sharing all the details of our days. In addition, we're saying I love you morning, noon and night, and we can't seem to be in the same room without touching each other. We can't get anywhere near my couch and remain fully clothed. We've explored pretty much every option I'm aware of other than intercourse, but he still stops us. He keeps saying it's not the right time.

It makes me nervous. Scares me a little. I mean, not that I think we need to have sex for me to know he loves me, but I can't help but think about my conversation with Mel and her opinion about him holding back. The sex thing being the final claim. The last threshold. It's madness. Is it really his chivalrous idea of needing to wait? Needing it to be ‘right?’ Or is he holding back and keeping the most intimate part of himself safe?

I feel so weird even asking that as the girl. Stereotypically, I should be the one holding back and him the one all frustrated, but we've never conformed to the rules or the norms.

He invited me over to his house tomorrow night. It makes more sense, I suppose, because then he wouldn't have to leave for Deacon, but I still feel a little funny about the house. The dog. Like those are things he did without me. While we were apart. Like I don't belong there.

I know it's important to him, though, and it's not like I can stay away from his house forever. Right?

June

Sunday, June 1st

Deacon stayed on his best behavior tonight. I swear I think Cabe bribed him or something. He acted extremely well-behaved, and I have to admit I think he may have won me over. He really is an amazing dog.

As much as I hate to say it, Cabe's house was beautiful, too. Built in the 1920s and well-restored by the previous owner. Cabe hasn't hung a single thing on the walls or decorated in any way yet, so it feels a bit bare.

"I don't know, I just never got around to it," he said when I mentioned it. "I've only been here a month, and I've spent a lot of time training Deacon, so it hasn't really been a priority. I thought maybe we'd go shopping next weekend. You could help me figure out what to do with the place."

"I have the yacht wedding Saturday so I'll pretty much be gone out on the water all day. Then I fly out Sunday for my accreditation thing. I won't be back until Thursday night."

He led me to his sofa as I talked and pulled me into his lap as he sat. "Oh, right. I think I keep forgetting that on purpose. I'm a little nervous for you to go out of town again. It didn't turn out so well for me the last time."

I put my arms around his neck and pulled him close for a kiss. "You have nothing to worry about. You have my heart, Cabe Shaw. Besides, I don't think there’s a lot of prospects at a wedding planner workshop."

He returned the kiss, deepening it beyond my light peck and stoking the inevitable fires between us.

"I just don't want anything else to come between us," he said as he pulled away. "Are you sure you can't pack me in your suitcase?"

"You'd probably miss the plane," I teased, but the look in his eyes said he didn't find it funny. "I'm sorry. Too soon?"

He shrugged. I kissed him again and rose up to straddle him, allowing my body to reassure him that it belonged to him and him alone. We continued down the path together until he yet again put on the brakes.

"Why do you do that?" I asked. "And how do you do that? How do you just stop?"

"I don't know. I guess it's just important to me that we wait."

"Wait for what? I thought you were sure."

He laughed. "I am sure, silly girl. I've never been more sure than I am right now. But I'm also sure I want our first time to be special. To be memorable. I don't want it to be just sex. I want it to be different for us."

"Okay, you realize you're saying my lines right now, don't you?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. And believe me, there's been plenty of times—like every night this past week—where I questioned whether or not it matters. But it does matter to me. I have an idea in my head, and I want to see it through."

"Are you going to share this idea with me?"

He smiled and tugged me back closer to him. "Of course. You'll be the first to know when it happens." We kissed again, but I couldn't shake the little voice of doubt playing like a broken record in the back of my head.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't know."

"Bullshit. What's wrong? What's going on in that pretty head of yours? Are you thinking I don't want you? I don't find you attractive? What crazy thought process are you entertaining?"

I played with a button on his shirt and avoided eye contact. I wanted to avoid the conversation and tell him nothing was wrong, but we'd agreed from now on, we'd be open and upfront no matter how uncomfortable we felt. Hiding our thoughts and feelings had wreaked too much damage in the past.

"I just wonder if you're not holding back, you know? Like you're still making sure you hold onto something so you're not completely in."

"Completely in? Pardon the pun?"

I playfully slapped at his chest and rolled my eyes. "I'm serious. It's like that takes our relationship to another level. I feel like it's a deeper commitment for you, and it makes me nervous that you're hesitant to make the leap."

He placed his hands on either side of my face. "Tyler Lorraine—"

"Don't! You sound like my mother!"

"I told you I'm not going anywhere. I love you. I want to make love to you for the rest of my life. And I intend to. But there's a few things I want in place first. So could you please just trust me?"

"Yeah, I guess."

He laughed at me again and wrapped me up in a bear hug that made it impossible to be aggravated with him. I took a deep breath and resolved again to try and stop worrying. Now that we're actually together, the last thing I want to do is ruin it by constantly worrying about what might happen to tear us apart.

Friday, June 6th

Melanie called me at four o'clock and said she got tied up with a bride and groom and needed me to pick up a prescription for her before five. The pharmacy was quite a ways across town, so I left right away.

When I told the pharmacist I needed to pick up Mel's prescription, he handed me a card in an envelope. He smiled at my bewilderment and then told me to open it.

             
You are my drug. Without you in my life, I go through withdrawals. My body and my heart feel like they're dying. I feel sick. I can't sleep. But when I'm with you, I'm riding a high that's like no other. You make me dizzy. You make my head spin. You are a thirst within me no one else could ever quench. I'm addicted to you, and I don't ever want to recover.

What the hell? I looked back at the pharmacist and explained there must be some mistake. I was asked to pick up a prescription for my friend. He laughed and handed me an index card that said
Gimme Shelter
.

"I'm sorry. I don't understand what's going on."

"You will," he said. "Just follow the directions."

"But ‘Gimme Shelter’ is not a direction. It's a song title."

He nodded. "Sometimes we take directions from songs. Try to figure it out, Ms. Warren."

I didn't know how he knew my name or what was going on, but I began to suspect I knew who was behind it. I reread the drug passage on the way to the car, and called Cabe and Mel both when I got in. No answer.

I tossed the song title around in my head for a few minutes, and then I wondered if perhaps he meant the animal shelter. Where we'd worked together and where he'd gotten Deacon. I drove to the shelter and walked to the reception desk, hoping I didn't look like a complete idiot if I'd jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"My name is Tyler Warren. Did anyone leave something here for me?"

"Why, yes, they did." She handed me the card and gave me a huge smile as I opened it.

             
You are my shelter from any storm life can send me. With you, I feel safe. I feel secure. I have harbor. I will shelter you and protect you all the days of my life. I will never let anyone harm you as long as I am able to stop it.

              I want to come home to you each night, sleep curled up next to you, and wake with you by my side. I promise to be your loyal and trustworthy companion, and I won't wet the carpet or run away during baths.

I laughed through my tears as I looked back to the receptionist, eager to find out what came next. She grinned as she handed me a card with the song title
Sanctuary.

There were any number of options for that one, but only one true sanctuary. I got in the car and headed to Cabe's childhood church.

The pastor met me out front and suggested I walk through the gardens to the fountain. There I found the card leaned against the base of the fountain.

             
You are the answer to my prayers. The one my soul has searched for. God created woman to be a partner for man, and I could not ask for a better partner in life than you. You are more precious to me than any jewel on earth, and I promise before God to honor and cherish you for all my days. You can place your faith in me and trust I will be by your side.

The pastor waited for me at the exit to the garden, where he handed me the next song title,
Carnival.
I laughed out loud as I realized Fun Spot was only a few blocks away, Cabe's favorite place to spend a fortune playing those ridiculous carnival games. I tried his cell phone and Mel's on the way to Fun Spot, not at all surprised to get no answer. He'd put a lot of time and effort into this escapade. He would make sure it played out to the end.

The ticket lady at Fun Spot winked at me when she gave me the envelope, and I tore it in half in my haste to get it open.

             
Life is just more fun with you around. Your laughter is like music to my ears, and I love your sarcasm and your Southern sense of humor. I love being crazy with you, acting out our silly schemes and singing at the top of our lungs. I am my happiest and most free in your presence, and you bring out the best in me. I hope you'll consider your dance card filled for life.

Her card's title was
Love in the Library.

We hadn't been to the library together in ages, but I knew exactly where to go. The librarian handed me a book of poetry with an envelope in it.

             
Roses are red, violets are blue. My heart sings poetry, when I think of you.

              Okay, so I'm not a poet. But this I know. I could read every book in this library and still not know all there is to know about relationships, women, or you. Here's the deal. I'm willing to learn. I'm willing to try. I'm willing to own my mistakes and hold you accountable for yours, and to seek help when we can't find the answers.

              I don't know what makes a relationship succeed, and I don't know how to keep one from failing. I can just tell you I love you, and I'll do all I can and learn more when that's spent.

The next card sent me to the bakery, where I had an entire box of chocolate chip cookies waiting for me.

              I once tried to give you up, and in doing so, I compared you to being tempted by a chocolate chip cookie while dieting. Well, I'm officially off my diet. I intend to have chocolate chip cookies every single day for the rest of my life. You are the sweetest girl I know, and you are my single greatest temptation. Here's to giving in to temptation.

The bakery card led me to the lake, and I was a hot mess by the time I got there. Excited, yes. Elated, yes. But a hot, emotional mess.

I didn't see Cabe's car, but I could already see the telltale white envelope on the bench.

             
I read somewhere that a maiden should never desire a knight in shining armor, but one in tarnished armor instead. For it is the knight in tarnished armor who has been through battles and trials and proven himself able to overcome. It is the knight in tarnished armor who fought his way back to the maiden, and it is he who will protect her with his life.

              I told you at the airport I don't know how to be Prince Charming, and I realize I'm no knight, but we've both been through some battles and come out battered but better for it. If you will be my lady, I will strive to be your knight. It may not be happily ever after since we're in real life and not a fairy tale, but I promise to start and end our days with love's true kiss.

The sound of a horse's whinny jerked my head up. Cabe sat astride a beautiful white stallion. They both looked a little terrified and totally out of place. Cabe caught my eye and smiled real big, like a child who has mastered a skill and realizes someone is watching. He sat up a little straighter and held himself a little more confidently, his grin plastered across his face from ear to ear. He looked so proud and so happy. My heart nearly burst with love for him, and my eyes filled with tears yet again. Bring on the world record.

He shifted in the saddle as they reached me, and I could see uncertainty in his eyes as he tried to dismount. Suddenly the horse bolted, and Cabe, who had let go in order to get off, went flying off and landed squarely on his rump in the grass.

"Oh my gosh! Cabe! Are you okay?" I ran to his side and knelt beside him and he sat up, laughing and brushing himself off.

"Well, Buttercup, I told you I'm not a knight or a prince. I guess that proves it."

I looked for the horse and saw him safely held underneath a tree by a man in jeans and a cowboy hat.

"How did you pull all this off?" I asked as the tears continued to wet my cheeks.

"I had a little help from some friends." He reached up and cupped the back of my head in his hand, pulling me toward him like steel to a magnet. He rolled me over his chest as we kissed, and then released me and set me back beside him.

Movement and a flash of white caught my eye across the lake, and I saw people lining the street in front of the houses we used for our imaginary scripts. White poster boards spelled out his proposal in bright purple letters.

Will you marry me?

I turned to face him, my mouth open and my eyes flowing. Of course!

He knelt beside me on one knee with an exquisite diamond ring between his finger and his thumb.

"You told me to come back to you when I was sure. This is how sure I am. You asked me how you could know I won't change my mind, and I guess there's no way to prove it other than time. But this is the strongest commitment I can give you. Will you be my wife?"

I nodded and extended a trembling left hand for him to slide on the ring. I felt its heaviness there, grounding me even as my heart took flight. "Yes, yes, yes! A million times yes. I love you, Cable Tucker Shaw."

"And I love you. Now, I know this probably all seems sudden, since we've never officially dated and all. But I wanted to make sure you knew I was serious about being all in. So take your time. However much time you need to process, to feel safe, to be sure of me." He twisted the ring around my finger and smiled. "I just wanted you to have this to remind you I'm not going anywhere."

He kissed me then.

Cabe, my best friend.

My fiance.

My love.

My life.